257 Central Street Project updates

Below left how it can be, once rehabbed, & the house might have been of colors similar to now. It was viewed May 12th at 10AM & bid made May 27 before 2PM, AD 2015.  Now Charlie needs help in buying the house, funding the restoration, and getting it so it can obtain a certificate of occupancy. In the middle is the floor plan of this house. Click here to see (on this page) what progress has been made on redeeming this house.  The 2011 tornado did damage to this house & we think the image to the right is how it could look with a lighter color paint (if historically allowed).  Springfield, MA,  City Council members & contact information are at the link here.

house at 257 Centaral Street, Springield, MA and how it could look. floor plan of ground floor of 257 Central St. with id roman numdrals
Roman numerals are used to designate areas of this project.
257 Central St., Springfield MA, how it could look with lighter sides.

email Mr. Knight at ceknight.spfd@gmail.com                   His "go Fund Me" link is:  gofundme.com/zkwvfk 
or mail us at scarf@usa.com   Do friend us at our facebook page  and/or  check out our twitter account anytime.
Mr. Charles E. Knight has edited most of the comments below and his phone number is (413) 732-7077.

Currently we have raised $215 towards this project.

Most recent activity
Some of this is planned activity and will be altered when it is history.  Please scroll down to today's date.
 

20 August, AD 2017
Church here at St. Stephen. Was supposed to be in the Berkshires, but just to tired and the folks here I have not been with so I think I should go.  In the afternoon I will check on Bob and then maybe just clean up some around the Apartment.  Monday has to be a time I call Freedom Credit Union and put things away at the AQCA office, and read over the notes and such from the Turff and Lawn class of the Green Skills class.  I do miss my friends both at St. George and Saints Peter and Paul in Springfield, but also All Saints of North America in Salisbury, CT, where I am normally at least a few times in the summer.  I told the folks at church in "fellowship hour' about the young girl with needs, and about the girls that helped me.  I did nothing but go get my cell phone, and Steffi had not called.  I have been thinking about a lot of things lately and I am afraid the people are right. I can not communicate with people.  Maybe it is pest I just "go away" and be "by myself'.  I deserved none of the kindness given to me.  There as no need to break into the apartment to see if I was OK, just because I forgot and left the keys outside the door.  I do NOT want to be "looked after" and that sort of a "nursing home" type of thing is an abomination and an affront to any thinking adult. I love my studies but fear nothing but my enjoyment will come of them.  I see 60 Byers Street is up for a house auction, oh how I want to buy that property and rehab it, but I have NO Money. I will cost about 250,000 many people say. . Please pray that God's perfect will be done.
19 August, AD 2017
Not much. Thought to go "online" and see if I could volunteer for the "Convoy of Hope" that comes through today at Riverfront Park.  I got in at 7:30AM or so. Took a bath and by 8AM I had printed out my papers and registration confirmation and brought them and only my I.D. and a bus pass and my keys. We bagged up about 5,000 bags of food for people at the "groceries" section.  I walked around some and saw all the tents with people helping people. Not the least of which was the prayer tent full of folks willing to pray with people, reminded me of the good times when I used to do that at Christian Festivals when I was considered worth something.  But towards the end of the day came a white girl in her maybe 20's with a box with blankets and sweaters and such for the winter and she just could not carry the food and the stuff she needed. I asked questions and found out she was not in a stable living situation but was cautious about reaching out for help.  I feared for her well being. I know not what she might be asked to do to be able to stay there.  I stayed one night in Boston in a room that had over 5 locks on it. I did the least I could to leave that apartment the next day alive.  So I thought I saw the same fear.  God know who she is.  PLEASE pray that she get in a good situation.  I am a broken down old man that can't be stoic any more.  I cry.  I want to buy and rehab houses and have those in need is secure places, but I don't have the money.  100 thousand dollars might as well be 100 million in my mind.  I was given food and struggled to take it to my apartment , maybe being back 4:50PM. As I was walking up State Street from the bus stop and almost to Byers St. A young girl asked if I needed help in a car and I said would be OK.  I then went around the corner and stopped again, it was heavy for me. Because I had volunteered, they gave me an extra bag of canned goods (and I had some of the ones the girl had left behind as she had no place to cook in).  That same girl saw me struggling and stopped her car and came down Byers Street and asked carry my box.  This time I allowed her to. Her name is Autumn and her friend Tiari.  Please pray for these sweet people, and others, who have blessed me so abundantly today.  So very tired, it is 6:15PM and I guess I am going to bed Zz.
Well this is interesting.  I awoke and thought I heard a knock, but did not hear it again.  I went to bed again and then got up and as I was going to the door I thought the door had been opened, the box of food I had put just in back of the door had been moved. So as I went to the door sure enough the door was opened.  One of the tenants on my floor went to security and complained my keys were in my door. They had knocked many times but I was in the bathroom and asleep or such and did not hear them. So they opened the door to see what was wrong and there I was. The apartment is a mess and I am so ashamed of it being that way, but have not felt good enough to clean.  Now I guess I have to do so Sunday afternoon, or soon.  Once again, when we don't think well of ourselves, God sends a message that His opinion is much different.  The people offering to help, the young girl watching me and seeing I was so tired and insisting on carrying the food for me (which was heavy for me) and this instance of a tenant calling security because I did not answer the knock on the door and they were concerned about my well being.   
God is good, all the time.  All the time, God is good.  
18 August,AD 2017
I called and the visiting with the Stop Access Coalition has been put off a bit.  "Molay"  will tell me when we had things schedules.  I feel so worn out and pressured and doubt so much that I can do the mortgage and things I want to do.  Looks like I am not leaving the room and going back and forth from eating and defecating to sleeping, trying to "recharge" a bit.  It still "weighs" on me a bit when 3-6 people asked about my running for School Committee and expressed sadness I had decided no to do so.  Yet all were supportive of my idea to help mobilize students to have things changes for the better in their school, even if the city has not he funds for it.
17 August, AD 2017
Spent the morning in last minute checks about tonight's Candidates Night at AQCA's General Meeting at Classical High Condominiums at 6:30PM.  I stated by going to copycat printing West Springfield for 20 sheets of card stock at over 12 cents each, with tax almost $3. I had put things on the table the day before at the AQCA office in the afternoon to have things all packed up and ready to go when others arrive.  I did go around to some businesses and stopped by RLC to give them some flyers and try and talk with Earl Miller.  He will try and help me with an urgent application for a mobile voucher section 8 housing based on my disabilities and the threat on my life.  I needed to leave the AQCA office by 2PM to be at the Scibelli Enterprise Center for the class at 2:15PM, tried to leave even by 1:30PM.  I was back by 5:45PM to help pack things into Wayne's truck to go to Classical High Condominiums for the AQCA general meeting.  We had about 50 people attend, not counting the 11 candidates for City Councilor at large.  We brought a whole lot of food and only brought back a little when we brought stuff back to AQCA office around 9:45PM.  The meeting closed at about 8:45 or 8:55PM, but it took some time to pack up things and then move our.  I might did stay at 32 Byers Street as I think we are going to visit people with the Stop Action Coalition tomorrow.
16 August, AD 2017
Bring the trash containers in by 9:30AM from Bob's. Then start to get more boxes to stuff and pack up Summer stuff to go to storage.  Increasingly I am not at the apartment I rent and recently I do not feel comfortable even staying there one night, to much like being in a nursing home or something like that.  Will get there and try to change back packs to one used mainly for the Green Skills and Citizen Scientist Classes.  Off to the AQCA office to set out things to be taken for the event tomorrow night a I might be late.  The Citizen Scientist Classes are apparently starting up a week early or so as I saw the confirmation email and syllabus yesterday after the Green Skills Class and I got to Bob's to stay the night. Then the Green Skills training is tonight and I need to be there by 3:30PM.  Can you believe it. the new back pack I was so happy to get, the handle pulled off of it today.  I have only used it now for two or three days!
15 August, AD 2017
Got to Ed Whitley and delivered AQCA documents and then email the Stop Access Coalition as I was to have done things and I have not gotten replies back; and can not stay for the full meeting which is 2-5PM. Then get to the Scibelli Enterprise Center for the Green Skills meeting at 4PM.Then to Bob's for the trash.  Increasingly having difficulty with the right leg both bending it and straightening it out, horrible pain. Also the body seems to be tense all over. Another reason I did not go forward with the School  Committee position, not certain about the pain and my future.  Bob wanted me to help him tomorrow, but I just could not do it.  Might bicycle over to the lodge to see if there is anything I can do for a few moments after 9:30AM when I take the cans in from the trash and recycling. 
14 August, AD 2017
Up and to the AQCA office to meet with Betsy at 9AM.  At 10AM the meeting about the AQCA candidates night Thursday.  Have "flyers" created and printed on bright colored paper (about the Candidates night) to distribute that afternoon (in addition to any we had given out at this planning meeting.  The fact is no flyers got done and by Wednesday the only ones printed were on white paper. At noon met my contractor at the AQCA office to go over final things about this project and I want to also meet with Freedom Credit Union as the Wayfinders people had suggested for a mortgage.  Will need to set up an appointment with Freedom Credit Union by the end of the week.  Please continue to pray for me & these projects.  Much of me wants to just quite and "go away" somewhere.
13 August, AD 2017
Get up and put up sides of registration/exhibitor's tent and then to Breakfast after packing. Then to NOFA registration and finally to help with clean up. Then somehow get back to Springfield and put clothing in the wash.  Do eblast for AQCA about Thursday's General Meeting and have poster made up.  Also do press release.
12 August, AD 2017
Up to roll up the tent flaps on the registration tend and exhibitors tent at 6:30AM.  My grew is so very good. We are using a "bungee" cord system that is way faster than before, and so much easier also. After Breakfast I  got back by 8AM and worked until 2:30PM .  I had used the laptop to invite folks to come.  Then from 2:30 to 4:30 I attended a presentation on the evils of the main ingredient in "round-up".  Then help get ready for the "teacup auction" drawing and then to the toilet and Dinner.  I was enjoying a conversation with someone from last year that I lost track of the time and got there about 40 min. late.  My "crew" had done a great job in putting the tent flaps down and I  only had to bring some signs and boards in, which people passing by helped with.  But security was not there and no one else so I stayed until after 10PM, then my relief came and I saw some of the music venues and went to be pretty tired this night.  This was the AQCA 2nd Saturday Walking Tour and for the 3rd month in a row I have not even been able to be at the tour to greet people.
11 August, AD 2017
Up and go to bring tent flaps up (6:30AM) and then to Registration Tent from about 7:30 through7PM  But since there wasz no one at yet I stayed in the tent until the "security" came at about midnight.  So tired. I had gone back in the morning to lay down and rest for an hour as I was passing out.  Sleep not good last night and I fear it is possibly the epilepsy coming back.
10 August, AD 2017
Bicycled over to the apartment and tried to print out some things and pack for the bus trip at noon towards Amherst and Hampshire College and the Northeast Organic Farming Association's Summer Conference at Hampshire College.  I eventually got there by 2:30P and worked pretty much continuously until about 9PM.  I am continuing as work the staff meeting pizza party and cleanup afterwards.  I got a dorm room on the first floor and had taken the Lenovo messed up laptop with me and could email a few people.  Then to bed.
09 August, AD 2017
I bicycled to STCC for a STEM Seminar in which Dave spoke.  The seminar and such was great, the "leaders" or "coordinators" of the event seemed a bit clueless, or it seemed to me.  After this I had some Pizza with them and visited with various professors I had been privileged to have studied under.  Then to the Green Skills training, and after lectures we went over to the STCC grounds to see the damage that some insects were making.  Again I went back to Bob's place.
08 August, AD 2017
Not much.  Last night I had gone over to Bob's and then bicycled to 3300 Main Street for an appointment and then back to the Scibellie Enterprise Center for the Green Skills (as it is now called) training.  It was about bugs. This time the instructor flew up from Florida.  From here I went to the Maple-High-6Corners Neighborhood Council meeting.I then came back to Bob's to help him with the trash.
07 August, AD 2017
Be at the Kitteredge center at Holyoke Community College for a hearing, and then back to Springfield and to tired to set up meetings with loan people about 257 Central Street and inform city of that progress.  Your prayers are especially appreciated as I 'move forward'.
06 August, AD 2017
Try to go to Church in Newburyport and then get to the lodge at 10 Green Street to get ready for the Oddfellows portion of the Yankee homecoming parade.  After this is over with get a bus back to Springfield.
05 August, AD 2017
We were to be at Forest Park by 8:15AM for the Green Skills lab that will go until about noon; but because of the predicted thunder storms and heavy rain, we will meet at the Scibelli Enterprise Center at 7:55AM and will walk from there at STCC and down the streets to identify trees.  Then go to apartment, get stuff needed, maybe tuxedo, and go by bus to Boston to get the train to Newburyport to be there at 10 Green Street to prepare for the Oddfellows portion of the Yankee Homecoming parade.  After this is over with get a bus back to Springfield.
04 August, AD 2017
Was at 9:30AM at Mason Square Health Clinic at 11 Wilbraham road and was seen at focus care. They set up an appointment for me with my Dr. also for a "followup" on this.  They had me get a cream at the pharmacy, sodium ointment.  I will try and upload the stuff for the 48th squadron association for Bob by tonight or sometime tomorrow. Betsy got back to me so I went at 2:30PM to the AQCA office and got there by 3:13PM, got here the keys to the office and she got some documents she can look at and have submissions in by next week.  I thought they were supposed to be in by July 31st. Walked Betsy home as I had an umbrella and then arrived at 3:56PM at the Scibelli Enterprise Center for the Green Skills classes I like so much, just in time for classes to start
03 August, Ad 2017
Meeting in Northampton at 9:30 AM and then get my books at Bob's house for the Green Skills (formerly called Tree Stewardship) class from 3:30PM to 6:30PM, and then maybe get to the Community Policing meeting at Saratoga Street or to the Historic Commission meeting.  The pain was to great and I was asked to stay and talk with the program director, so I did and will ask how the police meeting came out.  Maybe someone went to the Historic Commission meeting also for AQCA. Then I was to late for the last bus near Bob's house. I walked to the apartment and from there talked with Steffi.  She was doing some other things but did squeeze me in so she took me to the Lodge to put the garbage out and then over to Bob's.  His phone was not ringing.  I will do some updating of a web page for him in the early morning, then up to the clinic to see about my leg. Hope they can dull the pain so I can go to Boston and then Newburyport for the Oddfellows portion of the Yankee Homecoming Parade Sunday. I showed Steffi the class materials and told how I am SO HAPPY with this class after she had brought me to Bob's for the night.
02 August, AD 2017
I had made the final decision yesterday at about 9 AM that I would NOT get the nomination papers filled out and honor the request of my committee member to support her and not run against her for the School Committee vacant seat. BUT I feel she has only been concerned about her area an her local school  District one is a large area comprising two wards and probably a majority of the people renting in apartment buildings in the city.  It also has much of the people who are struggling to "get along" in the city.  I feel strongly that this district has to look at all the schools and all the students and try to do what is best for all.  With less money to do things with this will be a challenge for anyone.  So I have crafted a position statement saying, in a First Person narrative, why I have decided not to get the nomination papers filled out and how I would continue to learn about and advocate for and empower students and parents to push for the things they believe are needed in their schools.  I will need to ask for the email of the certified people who are running for AQCA to invite them to our candidates night August 17.   I am in pain this morning and have called the clinic and they can see me Friday and to be there at 9:35AM to get "registered".  Today I will go with a friend to the AQCA office and see about what we can do to get in and replace that locked door entrance handle.  Then come back to the AQCA office and make the agenda for the board of directors meeting and such. Then attend one of 3 other meetings and go to bed, probably at the apartment.  
01 August, AD 2017
Very early in the morning I crafted an email to Bob asking him to call and leave a message at my apartment number or email me saying he was OK.  In that email I put out an itinerary for today and expanded it through September 10th.  I crafted a review or restating of the information for Springfield in their National Night Out activities and will print it at the apartment.  Finally got to the apartment and printed things and paid my rent and also contacted the bank and got some fees removed.  I did not know that they had been assessing me $5 a month for months, because the mail was being returned as un-deliverable and yet I was getting mail at the apartment all the time. This might come from when I was using a post office box and the people changed the address on one of the bank accounts and not the others.  One bank swallowed up another bank and that is how that might have happened.  I did get a tax bill written and had it sent off in the mail also.  Then went to the person's house I had worked things last night, I was now over 2 hours later than I had anticipated. Could not reach them with the phone number I had been given, but emailed via the email address I had been given and said I would be there.  I got much of that work done and took the invasive species out and some of the growth that might have been a reverting back to the original stock of a grafted on species of lilac.  Don't know, talked with my Landscape Design and Maintenance Department Chair and Professor and he was not certain what was happening either.  I left there and went to get the light for the bicycle and put the tools back. Did that and was so tired I lay down.  Then, on the way back to the apartment I suddenly had pain in my leg.  I thought it had been before because of a soft tire, but the tire did not seem soft when I pinched it. So it got critical on my way back and was so painful to pedal I had to pull to the side of the road and lay down and massage the leg.  I finally got on my feet again and got back to the apartment.  One of the things I did was to print things and then spend an hour or so in the hottest bath tub water I could stand. Then pack up tables and a chair and a candle and some papers to go to Apremont Triangle for a little get together on National Night Out just to talk and spend the night with folks.  As it was a current student from STCC that knew me from being at the college years ago came by, then the Dept. Chair of the Landscape Design and Management Department at the School of Engineering at STCC came by and an AQCA board of directors member.  Some folks had to go and do other things so they could not be there, but they did call in on my cell phone.  So the time was pretty much good.  When I got to the office I found the door locked, the bottom handle we are not supposed to lock, but someone had done that and I will need to replace it.  I hope to get there today with tools Tomorrow to take the mail slot off and try and get my hand in to unlock that door.  Probably get another lock and put it in so we have a key for it.  Then make up the agenda for Wednesday's Armoury-Quadranglel Civic Association board of directors meeting.   I brought the stuff back to the apartment and got my bicycle and with great difficulty bicycled down hill to Bob's.  Bob was back from the beach and I was to tired to bicycle back so I stayed there the night.  Put ointment on the hurting knee.

  31July, AD 2017
It is now almost 7AM and I should be getting up, but really need to go back to bed (I have been updating this for a half hour or so but am now sleepy again).  I doubt I do much good at all and seem to think of myself as starting and never finishing much of what I talk about. New Month tomorrow, and I need to find money to pay bills before today is over with and this month is gone.   Where did the summer go to?  Must get to apartment by 10 or 11 AM, must print things for the 1PM meeting.  The meeting was held and it will now require an Executive Session next month to evaluate allegations of wrongdoing by a board of directors member. Because of that group's bylaws we could not move any faster and we felt we needed to give them time to prepare a defense to these allegations.  These are difficult meetings that I wish never had to happen.  Prior to the meeting dates were firmed up and I spoke with people for possible people with solid financial backgrounds to assist this organization as a board member.  I wrote the minutes and then spoke with a public servant I trust.  The result of that discussion was that I am pretty much in agreement with a decision NOT to complete the nomination papers for the vacant School Committee seat in District One.  On my way back to Bob's house I met a person I have known for years and they were having trouble getting some invasive species out of their front yard.  So I agreed to go to Bob's and get the tools I have there and help them. It was getting dark so I agreed to come back the next day and do more.  I am concerned that I have not heard from Bob.  That night and into the morning, I agonized over what I should do on this school committee thing.  And checked to see if the AQCA "e-blast" was sent out as yet, and sent it to the 'IT' person again.

 
30 July, AD 2017
Early in the morning I had crafted a letter to go with my forms to show where district 1 is (comprising wards 1 and 3)  and show it here so you can see the large area that comprises the "North End":, "South End", and "Metro Center" neighborhoods of Springfield.  I slept for a bit and worked on the wording some more and finished email and then bathed and bicycled to Church.  After Church we watched a movie and faith and next Sunday will see one on the Western Rite Liturgy.  I got back to Bob's house and took the medications I had not found with me after the movie at Church. Then I lay down again, so very, very, very tired.  I finally got going again and bicycled towards the apartment but on Alden Street I was hailed by a former Campus Civitan person that had done so very much for us and was now living in Enfield, CT. Her daughter, Jamie, is so full of questions and wants to learn about everything and is so full of life.  Her brother is more reserved.  BUT when I got to talk with that boy I found out he likes to draw and do complicated origami constructions of animals, etc. and found out his temperament is very similar to mine when I was his age.  We talked some and he showed me the dragons and evil monsters he is trying to draw.  I think he just wants a super hero to protect him.  And in drawing he sort of "brings to life" the image of that sort of an entity. Kim is, I think, divorced or her husband is not alive, and little Jamie wants so much to grow up to be big enough to ride the bicycle her Father had bought for her some time back. I think we must have spoken for an hour or so and I would like so much to be able to speak with her children and Kim regularly.  She took my email address and said she sent me an email, but I will need to check my "spam" folder as I have not seen it as yet.  I then got going again and got to my apartment in time to get the computer going and print out the sheets to take with me to go out and seek signatures.  Pam had called and asked me to come to her apartment, so I did.  That took a long time as she wanted to talk about all sorts of things and I got her the "Good Neighbor Handbook" to show the noise violation laws for Springfield, MA.   Pam had lots of issues and the only way to get on my way, as far as I could see, was to get her bureau in from the alcove and put her other stand in her bathroom and clean up a bit.  This I did and finally got "on the road" to go our and seek signatures.  BUT once I got out in the place I "got cold feet" being all alone.  Instead I bicycle to the lodge and brought some wood Bob had obtained for the wood stove they use in the winter when the workmen are working on the lodge upstairs to where it would  go and recharged my cell-phone.  I read a little bit and then got the bicycle out and locked the lodge and drove back to Bob's house.  I had hoped he was home, but he was not, so I came in and put the TV on like he usually does and got ready for bed.  I will need to go back to bed and then go to the apartment to finish things.  So tired, glad my sleeping areas can be shut out from any outside light as I am so tired now I must try and sleep again.
Did the past year's attendance sheet but need to do the sign in sheet and maybe where I think management can cut costs.  Must do the former, had a month to do the later, but I just am being told by others the costs are ok, I doubt that.  I think the first thing we do is to disconnect the cable from the community room.  The cable in that room has been "hell" ever since it was installed.  Mostly I think it is just a few personalities.
29 July, AD 2017
Bob took  me up to Holyoke and the Massachusetts Green High Performance Computer Center and the final class in the First Time Home Buyers Workshop.  Now it is only good for a year and the classes must be taken again each year until you purchase a house as the rules and such are changing so often.  In fact, I was at a loss because the information given out in May when I took the class was way different than the information given out in July.  The class lasted a little longer than I had anticipated and after using the rest room and walking at a leisurely pace back to the transportation center I grabbed the express bus back to Springfield and paid the extra fare to go with a transfer bus right to King Street and walk quickly to Bob's house.  I was so tired that when I got in I just lay down and rested.  I had seen online how this neck problem needed rest and I was having difficulty resting.  I struggled but still could not get much of any rest.  I guess Bob must have left just seconds before I had arrived.   I should have gone out to get signatures but felt so tired I just rested.  There was no note so I felt I should try and do something here so I cut down some of the weeds in front of Bob's house.  I was wondering if I did wrong by taking out the nomination papers.  The lady that already had taken out papers had spoken to me after the Hampden County Continuum of Care meeting saying how much she desired my support in her candidacy.  I like her as a  person, but do not share her distrust of city officials and the attitude that someone is trying to do bad to another group.  I just do not think people "lay awake at night" trying to dream up ways to disenfranchise others.  I might be wrong, but I doubt it.  
28 July, AD 2017
Got up with a horrible neck ache. Then by 10 was at the Community Health Improvement Meeting at the Pioneer Valley Planning Commission and then down to city hall. It was the last day to take out nomination papers and one person had no opposition, so I thought I might see if I could collect the some 300 signatures needed this weekend to verify 100 and get on the ballot, just to "stand" for the office.  So I did that, and on the way in signed someone else's papers to run as a councilperson at large.  Then to Bob's by bus and get the bicycle and go to the Hampden County Continuum of Care meeting being held at the Mental Health Association building's conference room. After that it was to the apartment to rest for a few minutes and then to meet someone at the Hot Table restaurant.  Left there at 5:50PM, meeting was to have happened at 4:30PM.  This person often forgets the meetings he agrees to when it is not local. He is trying to do so much with such little time.  Then back to see Bob and unload wood at the lodge and then back to do a task on the computerfor him and call up and get an "over the counter" medication at the pharmacy and then back to use Bob's heating pad and get to bed.
27 July, AD 2017
Bob gave me a ride to Northampton and there I got the Franklyn County Regional Transit bus to Greenfield and the Western Massachusetts Regional Network to End Homelessness meeting.  I got a ride back with the Director of Housing, Gerry McCafferty and I always enjoy her wise comments on ending homelessness and the difficulties we have in gaining the funds to provide more and affordable housing.  It was raining but I took the bus down to Emmerson-Wight park.  The event did not happen but I think I saw the people drive up, I was under the pavilion a long distance away.  I saw many a child want so much to go to the park, it did not matter if all was wet or not.  I watched so many groups plan and was so thankful for the parks for our children and adults to enjoy. Went back to the AQCA office after this (got mixed up in thinking the next day was Saturday) and did some things there coordinating the lists of other Neighborhood Councils and Civic Associations and then doing an inventory of some other note cards and su that had been returned to the office. Got back at about midnight and before I could get to bed someone called so I did not get to bed until about 2AM.
26 July, AD 2017
Well I prepared for the Annual Meeting of 32 Byers Street, Inc. at Bob's house where I was last night as it was Garbage and Trash day and I normally help set the stuff out. Also put a rack John DeVoie had obtained for me on the back of the new bicycle given by Deacon Michael that had been his son's.  Got to the apartment and printed out stuff for the Annual Meeting and when it came time for it at noon, no one showed up but one tenants that has been representing the Tenant's Union in the building.  I got back and checked my email again and there were questions about the meeting.  As I understand it, since no one came from outside the corporation, we did not even need to vote on anything as we were not changing the way our board of directors are being selected, the other organizational aspects of the corporation, or any articles of organization, bylaws or constitution.  It is just a requirement we hold the meeting and must inform the public if we are making any changes.  I used the afternoon to write up the minutes of the meeting and receive some telephone calls and then rush up to the "Green Skills" class at the STCC Scibellli Enterprise Center. Once again it was great.  I talked with Dave a bit and then went by bicycle back to Bob's house as he had something for me to do.  It was light and as I got to the spot on Walnut Street  just about 50 feet before the turn onto King St a car honked behind me.  I was slowing down for a car to pass Kind Street going North on Walnut so I could turn and put my left hand out as the hand signal.  At that point someone driving South on Walnut in what looked like a fairly new black car, license number IRE 892 increased the gas, sped forward, swerved to avoid hitting the car going North, passing King St., and in so doing pulled into and hit my left hand that was signalling to make the left turn.  It through my hand back towards me as the car then zig-zaged again to avoid a head on collision with another car going north on Walnut Street as it spend off Southward towards 6 corner intersection ahead.  I kept repeating the license number and after I had made the turn onto King street and it was safe to do so, I pulled over and wrote it down.  I continued to Bob's house and he was out and came back to late to do the task he had wanted help with, so maybe we will do that in a few days.  I was quite shook up over this violent assault by an automobile and did not know what to do.  BUT a person sent a note to a list serve I am a part of about the bicyclist that was killed by a truck July 15th, so I replied and sent a CC to Denise Jordan of the Mayor's office (I heard by email later that Mayor Sarno had alerted the police just in case there were any other outstanding problems with that license plate number).
25 July, AD 2017
I had met the office people at the apartment before to sign another re-certification piece of paper. Something like this has been happening every 3 months or so and the last time I signed something that was supposed to be for a year was much less than 6 Months ago, more like 2 months. Don't know why all of this happens.  But that opened up a slot so I could meet with Ed Whitley and speak about what we could and could not do to be reimbursed for activities done in the Armoury Quadrangle Civic Association from the city's Community Development, Block Grant monies from the Federal Government.  The to the Abby brook event for a great hour or so. Then to 3300 Main Street for a meeting with a counselor at 2PM and then back to get ready and be at STCC at 3:30PM to be there a half hour early for our first Tree Stewardship Class. So excited about this class.  The name has been changed to Green Skills and it is fantastic.  The teacher from Chicago was very good.  The class times have been changed to be Tuesday and Wednesdays and in some cases when we have a lab on a Saturday the classes will be Thursday and Fridays.  I won booklet on tree care for one of my answers.  Just like this a lot. It is like condensing much of my college and other information into the "essentials you need to know" type of thing. Really look forward to tomorrow.
24 July, AD 2017
Prepare for Meeting with Wayfinders at 12:30PM.  Then what ever they suggest afterwards. Also trash and clean up room and box up things for storage. I am so excited about the WayFinders meeting and moving towards rehabbing and having a home in the city.  Please pray that God's will be done and that I am able to rehab this and other homes and start things to help others do the same.
23 July, AD 2017
Church, then most probably and help get our stuff put away for the Lutherans as they need all of the space for their special events coming up this week.  Then back to the apartment to do some things and prepare for a meeting Monday at WayFinders where they will go over things with me, budget, Credit History and suggestions as I seek a mortgage.
22 July, AD 2017
I think we can use the Church building for our Order of St. Benedict meeting but have to put a lot of stuff away as the Lutherans will be using the entire area we use for their events and we might not be able to use it next Saturday.  But we found out, or at least Deacon Michael thinks we can, use the nave. So some will bring food to eat and we will have morning prayer (matins) and the normal Benedictine "Circle" as we explore the ascetic life style as a holy alternative to the self-centered lives many of us live today. Anybody know of a Church Building that is for sale or some place so we could have a building of our own to worship and minster out of in the Springfield area?  Deacon Michael gave me the bicycle his son had and his son told him he could do anything with it.  The front tire did not hold air.  Bob did not come back by three and I had called Richie Eames and he was concerned as he was not as yet discharged from Mercy Hospital at abut 1pm. By 3PM Bob had not arrived so I put some air in the tire and pushed it to a bus stop and took a bus to the terminal at Union Station and another bus to Riverside Shops in West Springfield on Route 9. There I went to Dicks sporting goods store, the store chain this bicycle Deacon Michael had given me was purchased from, stickers still on the bicycle.  The man had a horrible time getting the right tube and could not use one of the same brand name but did finally get one, with a presta valve, in the "slime" category, filled with a gell that is supposed to self heal the tube.  What the old one did was it cracked at the point where the valve went through the bicycle rim. This tube with the presta valve has a metal stem and a hex nut to hold it in place.  I took buses back but it was to late to get to Bob's house so I went to my apartment, got some tools an clothing for tomorrow and then rode the bicycle back, even with some light rain.  Back at Bob's I got out the kick stand I had bought (a Japanese or Chinese brand) and used my allen wrenches I had gotten from the apartment and sort of put it on the bicycle.   Now if it does not rain hard tomorrow I can bicycle up to Church.  I am so blessed to have this bicycle.  It hurts to ride in also, but I have read online that they are putting bad seats on the bicycles and you need to buy a premium seat, it used to come with the bicycle, but no more.  Now I need to go to bed.
21 July, AD 2017
Internet still working through the modem Bob bought and the WiFi router and transmitter I bought.  Yea!.  I must make some calls and then go and do laundry and stuff this afternoon and banking for AQCA.  So I must walk out of Bob's house by noontime again.  But I wanted to tell all of this bad experience I had with the so called Netgear employee and that I have done a work around to get this fixed.  Just thought, some might want to look at the Re-Green Springfield's "facebook" page, so here is that link.
20 July, AD 2017
This morning we tried again and Bob was able to get online with a computer that is a brand new lap-top that was not on when the Netgear (supposedly) guy was doing things.  But my laptop that had not been on had accessed that network before, and it could not see not only that wifi but not even the other 5 or so that we can normally see.  So I am certain a hiding was accomplished that would be easy to remove, once you paid the $400 or so that often they ask for.  We were not going to jump for that bait.  I have a router at my apartment I use sometimes as it is faster than the modem that verizon provides.  So I will try and get that.  Bob had to leave and it was after 10AM. I did the transplanting of flowers and left for Emmerson Wight Park and the event in the afternoon. I appreciate Dave who runs these aspects for ReGreen Springfield so much.  He provided sun-prints, bird sounds, bird houses to build, testing of soil temperature at the ground and 3 inches below and soil sampling to feel how it is down about a foot and deeper.  Lots of kids around and they all got something to do. Also there were bird feeders and some other items.  Bird houses and bat houses were constructed and helped a young child named Mat (I think) try and build one.  They brought oranges and apples and such for all.  Also water and we all had a great time.  Before that I talked with a single mother and told her about the 10 week training program they are offering.
Dave brought me back to my apartment afterwards and I got my medications and that router/wiFi transmitter I had there.  When I got back to Bob's I plugged it in, and within a few short minutes it was seen. I put in the code and was online.  The modem we bought was OK, what the so-called Netgear guy did was to disable the WiFi transmission abilities of the router except for certain types of computers I think. Since the newest gaming computer Bob has was able to see it.  I think Netgear owes Bob one of their newest top of the line Modem/Router/WiFi transmitter. I am so disgusted with all of this. BUT my WiFi Transmitter and router works just fine for now.  I feel really good I was able to restore the service for Bob, even though I am apparently to old to get hired by anyone.  Bathed again as I was so dirty and sweaty. It as over 93 in the sun at the park and 88 in the shade at bout 4-5PM today.  I sat and read in the shade at Bob's house for over an hour outside and it was really nice.  Tried to call Steffi, but could not hear her well. She and Gabe and Maya are leaving for Atlanta, Georgia today and then Gab will go to the Diocesan convention to compete in the oratorical contest representing the Diocese of Worcester and all of New England next week. I am so proud of him.  Steffi will be a delegate for us as I was back in 2015 even though she can only be there for a day or two.  The hotel costs are outrageous.
19 July, AD 2017
Not much got done all day. So hot in the apartment but without the bars on the windows I don't think I can install the ac.  Having trouble with the banks, it is the security codes in trying to keep me safe from people who want to steal my identity.  I think in the end the crooks have the information and the good people can't get to it.  I have very little faith in constantly changing passwords, etc. Bob called and had a computer problem. We called verizon and had a hard time getting the information we needed from them.  They wanted to take over the computer and we let them, only for them to say they could not do anything and call netgear.  They were upset we were not using their modem, but it was failing so much we bought an expensive one ourselves.  So we called Netgear and the man there wanted to take over the computer so Bob and I said ok. He said he wanted to configure it and then, after a lot of stuff done in a terminal window in code, he said, when he did an ipconfig a second time, that there were a lot of foreign ip addresses accessing the account. He set up a note pad and wrote out stuff and asked for the contact information.  BUT he did not put on these supposed bad ip addresses and said that he would send it to the people and they would contact us and tell us how much it would cost to take these off for us.  I immediately smelled a rat.  I was leery of the way things were going anyway, but I don't think he thought I knew anything about computers.  It had been hot all day and I was exhausted and not good to talk with.  So I took the mouse and highlighted the text and erased it all and said thank you and hung up.  We tried to get online and he had me get the other computer going and whatever he did seemed to affect all computers in the house.  We went to bed very disgusted that whatever he did was done not as a Netgear employee to help us but as a con artist to steal. He often went to someone else and I think he might not have been an employee at all, just haning out there.  I was a room in some foreign country and you could hear  others on phone in that room.  I think we were mislead and he destroyed the ability for that internet to work.
 July18 July, AD 2017
Did not get to do some stuff on this project in the morning, then get to Abby Brook by 1PM for the Wacky Wildllife presentation from 1 to 4PM.  As it was the topic was different but throughly enjoyed it and talked a bit about this project as well.  I was given a ride to 53 Alderman Street for the Stop Access Coalition meeting only getting there a half hour late.  I then took the bus back to the East Springfield Neighborhood Council meeting in back of Pottenger School at 1435 Carew Street in Springfield arriving before 6PM. This was my first of I hope many visits to other neighborhood councils and associations and such to see how they do things    I hope to find common issues we can work together on and knit this city a little more together.  It is currently spoken of as one of the most heavily segregated cities in the nation, and most of that we have done ourselves as we have isolated ourselves into our own "just us" little groups and geographic areas.  I also want to visit by bicycle many, if not each one, of our parks and recreation areas to learn of these quiet spaces with wildlife, like Abby Brook Park, that we have and I never knew of before.  It rained heavily at the meeting and I was given a ride back to my apartment by a lodge brother and I did not get to Bob's that night.
17 July, AD 2017
10AM, was at a hearing at 1187.5 Parker Road about bicycle boxes and other things to promote and make it easier and safer for people to bicycle and walk to get things done within the city.  The promotion is to see bicycles and walking as normal methods of transportation for short trips instead of using the resource wasteful car.  Most probably should have spend the afternoon at least cleaning up around the apartment, un-boxing t-shirts and shorts and boxing up other stuff to go to storage; but instead Steffi met me at the hearing and we spent the afternoon together doing things she needed to do. It was a really great time for me.  Also I need to prepare for the trip to Newburyport for that Parade with the Oddfellows at the beginning of August and the NOFA summer conference.  Plan to contact them and say I can not be there as I should be for Thursday afternoon staff meeting, because of the course of study I will be in. Also I need to contact Wayfinders before the week is out about the need to meet about my credit and contact some lenders to try and get "pre-approved" for a loan for this project now that the private funding has evaporated and my contractor seems to think it can be done for many thousands less.
16 July, AD 2017
Church (probably go to the AQCA office at 7AM and get stuff for the Church picnic at Stanely Park in Westfield so I can be taken directly from Church to that event).  Then the picnic and don't have much of anything else planned.  Will try to get to a hearing in a really remote section of the city to try and speak up for bicycle boxes and other components of the complete streets program to promote bicycles and walking as alternative methods of getting around than the resource wasteful automobile.  So much of our city life has been in a "love affair" with the automobile, and yet that passion is destroying us.  Much healthier to bicycle or walk the few blocks to get to a store. And much healthier for the economy to have many small stores than to have a "big box" store way out 5-10 miles away from peoples homes.


15 July, AD 2017
To the order of St. Benedict at Church in the morning.  Went by bus and got there late, the ride I had hoped for could just not happen, to much to do.  I was given a ride back and had so much I wanted to do, but did almost nothing.  Had some people call and talk for hours but basically I did not much today at all.
14 July, AD 2017
Up to STCC for the STEM academy event by 8AM.  All sorts of construction so could not get very near. Spent a whole hour finally finding the spot as it had been moved indoors.  A bit chaotic as I am not certain some people "in charge" fully communicated what was wanted to others ahead of time.  However I got to be with the US Fish and Wildlife Service people as they were displaying various pelts that were confiscated and people could feel various animals furs.  It is illegal to own fur pelts now in the USA as we don't want animals to be trapped and killed for their skins.  When I got back to the apartment I went and rested.  I had, however, been told about the Citizen Scientist program and so I signed up for that also.  I will soon be in classes three days a week and I look forward so much to schooling again. I love to learn.  This is the link if you want to sign up for the Citizen Scientist program and I hope they accept you into it as it will be a great 10 weeks or more. <  http://regreenspringfield.com/uncategorized/become-a-citizen-scientist-this-summer/  >  Later that day I went to the AQCA office and got some things done, fixed a minor problem, and then came back and updated the AQCA website through their console.  The new officers are now listed on their important contacts web page
13 July, AD 2017
Took  buses and brought an umbrella to get to Abby Brook Park for an 8am-to-4pm event.  It was great and this is a link to the story about this "bio blitz".  More is about it at MassLive. While there I also was invited to a STEM academy event at STCC the next day, which I will attend. I went on various walks and got to look at various species with guidance by very knowledgeable people.  And it rained so hard at the in that the US Fish and Wildlife people had to order us out of the woods.  Got to play with an awning and that night, after resting and I was very tired after the day's activities, created a pdf from my internet research to tell how to open that type of RV awning that was on the side of the presentation trailer, but someone had forgotten to pack instructions.  When I found out how it was done via some YouTube videos it was so simple and could be described in a sentence.  But boy did we struggle when we did not know how.  A great team effort. One of those things you look back on happily when a lot of people were working together towards a goal and no one person had a great deal of knowledge about the subject but we all were trying our hardest.  This project is based upon cooperation and collaboration and that is why I am involved in many things to help the homeless.  These efforts are also collaborative and cooperative.
12 July, AD 2017
Leave Bob's by 8AM for meetings at Tapley Street all morning, then to Apartment and AQCA office for board meeting, Got to AQCA office early to meet with someone and then tried to use AC.  Blew the fuses twice.  I then went to the Church Men's Group (meeting at the Hot Table) and back to the AQCA office and then apartment and go to Abby Brook event tomorrow at 9AM.  I had told the guys how happy I was to have been accepted into the HUD tree stewardship training program.  Some more might be accepted as the program starts in about less than two weeks from today (the 25th) and the link is here http://regreenspringfield.com/uncategorized/tree-care-job-training-program-begins-july-25th/ .
11 July, AD 2017
With Bob all morning and then to Savers and then 3300 Main Street and then to Apartment and Wallgreens and Maple, Highm 6Corners Neighborhood Council, then Bob's for the night, exhausted.   Bicycle tire does not hold air.
10 July, AD 2017
Not much all morning but did do stuff with Steffi to get my t-shirts from storage and fix it books I bought for her from storage.
Then to Amherst and Lodge picnic with Amherst Lodge and then back to Springfield and Bob's house.
09 July, AD 2017
Church and Parish Council and then back to make minutes at apartment, then bicycle to Bob's house. Just found out he was away and will not be back until tomorrow, must be at house so no one breaks in.  Bicycle almost flat on air and I pumped it up Monday.
08 July, AD 2017
Order of St. Benedict and then with Seffi and such and missed Big Band concert, trying to get stuff done to replace what I ate at AQCA office.  Then work at office some more.
07 July, AD 2017
Up by Bus to the C&SA building in Northampton for the Mental Health First Aid for Youth meeting.  Shocking knowledge, suicide is the 2nd highest cause of death for teenagers after automobile accidents. Then back to AQCA office and clean some more.
06 July, AD 2017
Some stuff at AQCA office and then Individual Services Committee meeting at Friends of the Homeless (C&SO) then back to AQCA office and then to meeting at Police Station for Sector E Community Policing and then to AQCA office and then back to apartment.
05 July, AD 2017
10 AM meeting at 130 Maple Street, then to AQCA office and finish up the inventory and other documents for next week's Board of Directors meeting. 
04 July, AD 2017
Holiday, did almost nothing, got to Riverfront Park for Army Band, it was great, and then up by Central and then over to Steffi's house and then back.  Hated the fireworks junk
3 July, AD 2017
Messed up, went to meeting and tried it a 120 Maple Street, it was the wrong day.  Then to AQCA office and do some vacuming. Can't get much done these days.
2 July, AD 2017
Sunday and I walk to Church and after Steffi brought me to take some things back to the lodge storage area and I work on that much of the afternoon, she comes back to check on me twice.  Then I call and Seffi is on her way to Hartford. I walk over to Bob's house and stop at Springfield College to rest on their green area for about an hour. The security guy asked how I was and I said I was tired but would be out of that area by 6PM.  So much to do at the AQCA office but that will need to be Monday night.  Back at Bob's by 6:30PM but can't seem to get the energy to go to the AQCA office and rested. Ate and altered an image we have of 257 Central with a garage trellises between the divisions of the houses and the road. This version eliminates all but the central door and puts windows in there instead. The garage section is on the right and mirrors the 1923 addition on the left. I put it up for you to see, just click here.  It might be important to note this shows the home with the windows I got from a 1917 building so it changes the entire appearance with a 12 over 1 fenestration that I think is more in keeping withe the age of the home.  Please pray, that if it be God's will, that I can accomplish this task.  It is also the idea that the trellises are set forward from the house so you can go around them and towards the back in the area to the West of the front door.  I think this gives the house a better "feel" and does not look so "tiny" from the street.
1 July, AD 2017
Steffi had asked and I was to go up to the book study at Church with her but it got close to the time so I took a bus up.  After the book study she cleaned up and we went shopping for items for Maya at summer camp in Pennsylvania and some things for myself and the AQCA office and such.  Maya leaves at 4AM for the camp, Karen is bringing her with her children. Then off to the apartment and there I got some clothing to wash and went over to Bob's to wash them and have them dry before morning.
30 June, AD 2017
Work on that letter by email to AQCA members apologizing for not getting the items.  Then work on the RLC grant application that is due today.  Then on the stuff for the class and as I am about a half hour late I am rushing out the door when the "trainer" I dislike so much calls and asked why I was not there.  I replied "I am on my way" and she said "fine" and I hung up.  So glad this is the last class with this "trainer", I do hope my coming helps to have her keep employed in some fashion.  I just think her social work "bedside manner" skills are probably just "not there" and I could see her temperament be better suited to a police "booking" officer's job description.  From here I went to the testing laboratory at Baystate Hospital for the electroencephalogram. He asked me if I had ever been told I had micro-amnesia epilepsy, and I did not know what that meant. Later on I found out that is the "new" term used for what we knew 55 years ago or more for having Petite Mal type of epileptic seizures.  So maybe the epilepsy has come back, I hope not.  Then to the AQCA office and finish up this last bit of the RLC grant and some other stuff there.  I had cleaned up and used a carpet cleaning powder and vacuumed the place before.  Got replies back from the email I had sent out in the morning saying we had accomplished what we had intended on doing last year at AQCA and we just need to make a different budget for this Fiscal Year.  I feel much better and called my friend that I thought was bringing me up to deposit the grant application in Holyoke only to find he is going away and can not do that. So I rushed to the Union Station bus section berth for the bus to Hoyoke and was told we would arrive at 4:50PM, so I go on the bus.  Instead we arrive at about 5:05PM.  I rush into the office but the elevator is broken and need to climb the stairs.  Then they are gone, might have been some of the people seen going down the stairs as I was going up.  So I put the application under the door and took the next bus back to the AQCA office. Sent the grant application out by email to my friend to know about my thinking as I know it was "dead in the water" because I did not get it there before 5PM.  Went back to the apartment so very tired and discouraged and disgusted at myself for not being able to function well. Still have to tell Scott Hanson of my progress in getting funding for this project at 257 Central Street, but I fear it might not happen either.  Will try in early July to establish a Web presence for C.H.I.E.F. as a foundation and do that other website this man has been patiently waiting for (a gratis job).  Since Bob said he did not leave last night after all, I stayed at the apartment.
29 June, AD 2017
Another day when I could get almost nothing done.  I hope the test Friday eventually is read and shows something that might suggest why I am this way. I don't want to think it is the Cancer coming back.  Did get to the AQCA office and finish us the inventory and make a sheet to record it on. Will need to be working on that later.  Went to the last class in the Wayfinders Series on Financial Literacy for home ownership.  Called Steffi and she was still in Holyoke and brought me back to Springfield. I then went to the AQCA office and did some more work finishing up that inventory.  I  just can not see much of anything we can justify buying to get reimbursed.  I think I will send out a letter apologizing for failing them so badly.  Back to apartment after midnight and crashed.
28 June, AD 2017
Did not feel like doing much of anything today. On computer some but just worn out and sort of a whole day of this dullness and not seeming to be able to do much of anything. Thinking of what we can do for AQCA for the grant money and think in all probability we must let it all go s we did not have resources other than the block grant money so we could not buy anything until it arrived and that was only about two weeks ago; after our board of directors meeting.  I did get down to the Men's Group meeting for Church that was at the Hot Table restaurant and then up to the AQCA office to do more inventory, I think it was finally done tonight, except for a few small things.
27 June, AD 2017
At AQCA office and then to 3300 Main Street for an appointment with my counselor and some emotional concerns.  Also spoke to Earl at RLC about some items and will try and get the grant application in that he sent me today. It is due Friday, don't know if I can work on it at all this week.  AT 6:30PM I was at the AQCA office and realized I should be at the Green Committee, city council's sub-committee, and called to tell the Chairperson I was on my way. Then back to the AQCA office to continue the inventory.
 26 June, AD 2017
I will finish writing these things about July 2nd or so. I have been writing a chart for my Doctor and am so discouraged. I get the dull or exhausted time for about 3-5 hours each day.  Also when I know I need to turn left to avoid something on my right I instead turn right and crash into it. This is one of the symptoms my mom complained about before they diagnosed her as having Multiple Sclerosis, and then maybe it is just the cancer coming back. Do not know much but I am worried. Thanks for your prayers.  Today we had a very bad Board of Directors meeting where I said certain things had to happen and I was once again not only ignored but told that I was to do things I had not agreed to do.  I did what I said I would do, tell where we needed to take action and leave the specifics up to Property Management.  I am told to come back with specific items, in other words do the work for property management, which I can not do as I do not know the specific real costs of items.  So I will just come back sometime after the 4th of July with a list of items Management needs to trim or eliminate.  So very, very depressed over this issue alone & that they will not listen to reason. 

I am leaving much of this text from before up here.  It tells the extreme negativity and the low opinion of myself that has plauged me for weeks, even months.   I look at only 5 more days in this month and it is another one of failures whereupon I have failed both God and man.  I thought the other day for a second how nice it would be to be dead.  Then at least I would cease to be making people's lives unpleasant by not saying the right things or not doing things right or not understanding people right. I am so tired of being the one that makes peoples lives less than they could be if I were not around bothering them.  I want to help and make this a much better place to live in.   If I am unable to do that, then what justification is there for me to continue to be here.  Maybe I should move to Mount Athos or the like and never return.  I have tried to find out information and it is displayed not as a web page but like a "smart" phone.  The "smart phone" is such a useless device with just a cumbersome interface that takes such a long time to get any information and then it is only very specific and useless for making multiple decisions and creating an array of possibilities to be prioritized.  I just can't see  how American business get's anything done with such and inefficient way of doing things.
I am so sick of failing at everything, denying my Lord, and being so useless.  It looks really good to just go out into the "wild" and let it end this totally useless life.I am just so tired of it seeming like my existence is making the lives of those around me uncomfortable.I do not want to hurt the ones I have loved and am not doubting I can accomplish anything much.  I will not update this again for a week.

25 June, AD 2017
Steffi could not get her family going to get to my place before after 9AM so we got to Worchester part way through the Divine Liturgy and arrived as the special guest speaker was concluding his homily. WE ere not going to stay for the luncheon, but Maya begged and so Steffi said OK and we stayed but had to leave promptly at 12:30PM. I got back and was so tired.  I ended up going to bed and that was the end of the beginning of this week.
24 June, AD 2017
Steffi said she could bring me up to Worcester and we got there after the Divine Liturgy and people were going to eat. I did not have a ticket to eat so I stayed out in another room and read some.  They had a used book table and I bought a book and they gave me a special cup and all sorts of nice things about the church's 100th anniversary.  When the word was that the Bishop was speaking I went in with my bags and such and listened to him and took some images as they had the General Assembly for the Diocese and following that a very special speaker. Oh was he GOOD and he started out with "What has God asked you to do, AND why are you not doing it?   Right between my eyes, so true.  I heard such good things that I got excited and went to sleep just about all the time. That is how narcolepsy works it seems.  Before this we had a presentation on the Orthodox Charitable arm, the I.O. C.C. and that was very good also. Then we went to small groups and the speaker was there with us also. A mos holy man in my eyes, he was oh so humble.  Then it was time for the "Bible Bowl" and I was already not feeling well. Shure enough, just like the past 4-8 days I am getting dull and it lasted way through the Bible bowl.  There was another meal and I was just setting in that other room. I had been dull in the Bible bowl and now dull again.  I could hardly function. I texted Steffi and she aid if I got back to the apartment she could bring me to Church in Worcester and the Hierarchical Divine Liturgy.  So I went to the bookstore people and asked how I walked to the Bus station.  Here husband was the coordinator for the event and he said he could take me. She convinced him to stay and she would go and another person would watch the shop for her.  It was over 3 miles and when we got there it looked like a bus was in the Berth for Springfield and I rushed over instead of having her drive me from the train station to that spot.  I went to the ticket place but they had closed their doors already at 7:30PM.  It was now after 8PM.  I went back to the spot where the buses usually depart from Worcester from and a girl was there who said she was also waiting for that bus.  A bit later she watched a girl walk by that went to a bus that was not a special bay but where buses normally stop just to get extra people or for freight, it is NOT the normal place for a bus to be and they had no lights on the front saying where it was going.  The girl next to me was watching intently the girl that now was talking to that other bus's driver.  I asked why and she said she had talked with that other girl and she also was trying to get to Springfield and if she got on she was going over to see if she could get a seat.  Just then the other girl got on the bus and the one beside me took off for that bus and I said we had best hurry and I did also.
I did not have the money it would have been for the bus, $22.  BUT someone had given me a $20 bill for the convention and I had not spent it, so it was what the driver wanted and I gave it to him.  I got the bus and texted Steffi about 6 times saying I was coming in. She was to tired to come and get me, but I did get back so I could sleep some.  I also made a thank-you paper for the two sweet people that got me to this mysterious bus.  When we got into Springield there was still no lighted sign saying what the bus was. If this was not the last bus in, then it was, as Steffi says, my "angel bus" to get me back.
 
23 June, AD 2017
Went to Commonwealth Care Alliance's workshop on dealing with Chronic Conditions. Nothing I said or did was right. Should have gone to the meeting with Sen. Lesser instead at STCC.  Got back and windows had been put in without telling me when so I did not have curtains taken down. Got back from the workshop that ended at 11:30 at about 12:30 or 1PM. Had gotten a Belkin KVM switch but for some reason the power supply seems not to have been with it. With the 7 port usb I bought frying my files for this project and the Belkin switch not working I am pretty much depressed.  I have asked about a ride to Vespers in Worcester tonight but gotten no reply. It is 3PM, will need to take the bus at 4PM and hope when it gets in at 5:15PM I can walk to the Cathedral. I feel like I can do NOTHING right at all.  I have not gotten Bob's flowers done or checked on Steffi's or done the work at the AQCA office or anything.  I am so frustrated.  Just hung up the curtains and need to insulate the windows again.  It is now 90 degrees outside and 83 inside.  I feel like my usefulness has ended.  People are just waiting for me to die or "move on" and get out of their way.  I doubt I can say anything good about myself and the best thing to do right now might be to just go to sleep.
22 June, AD 2017
Don't know what else, other than what is listed later in this, but I do need to finish transplanting flowers at Bob's house.  I know that class #2 in the Financial Literacy items I do tonight in Holyoke at 100 Bigalow Road tonight at 6:30PM. Have no idea of how I get back because Steffi says she can not be at this class.  I might take the bicycle up.  In the morning I need to see about bills and see if they are paid, do an email to board of directors at AQCA and make some telephone calls. Probably need to do much of this at the AQCA office.  I want to go up to the Emerson Wright Senior Center while it is open and eat, be there by 11:15AM, and also need to talk to the Mayor's office.  Much to do and I don't seem to have time to do it.   Did not get to Emmerson Wright, went to AQCA office but could not get much done, and then had to leave bicycle there to get to Holyoke for that meeting that gets over after the 8:30PM bus leaves so we need to wait till 9:30PM to get a bus. Thankfully the connecting bus was late so I got it to the apartment and then called to explain why I had not gotten back earlier.
TRADGEDY!
For the 4th time now I have done something and destroyed all my files for 257 Central Street.  The back-up does not seem to have them.  I was to send information to the city, it is all gone, all of it, about 65GB of this and other most important information. Today has been dull again. I do not know what is happening, maybe life is ending as a functional human being. Once again that which I have loved and had such hope for has been dashed.  I bought a 7 port usb hub and it could only "see" three items.  BUT when I went to take them out they were very hot. I guess the Chinese stuff burned up my flash drive. No operating system is able to open it.  I have taken all off of another flash drive in order to download this file so I can continue to report on my total failure as a human being.  The person that was to send me a grant proposal has not done it, nor met with me as promised or emailed me.  I can only take this as another incident of a gentle way of saying I am so useless I can not do anything right and have no value or worth to others.  Theologically death looks so nice to me right now.  Since I can't seem to do anything right it would at least stop my doing things wrong and maybe reduce my eternal punishment a little bit.
I am not a euphoric as to feel depressed right now.  Everything is at the point of starting all over again.  I hate the idea of a "cloud" storage, but I might need to do this in order to save something as all my storage devices seemingly are failing.  It is 2:16AM and my friend has hung up the phone and I have been able to move everything off of this flash drive but do not know how to set the permissions so that I can read it anywhere. I fear this will "all go down in flames" as well.  I write to say that I am so sorry for any harm or hurt I have caused anyone because it looks like I am a totally incompetent idiot and not useful for any task at all.  Ever since 1957 when I was diagnosed as having epilepsy many of my family had "written me off" as being useless and the state would pay for education so I was somewhere fairly safe until I finally died.  That was 60 years ago.  For the past 60 years I can see myself as nothing but a failure that society has been supporting until I finally do what I should have done long ago, just die and let someone else more valuable use he air and food and space.  It is no fun at all to feel that you have spent the last 6 decades as a hindrance to society.  I will try and sleep before I go to the workshop tomorrow where people will deride me and yell at me and others will complain because I have not done something right in their eyes.  I am at my apartment tonight. I am not normally here.  Being here is an offense to so many in this building.  Tomorrow I should be at the Parish Life Conference learning how to live right.  Maybe I am incapable of learning this.  I fear I can do nothing right, ever.  As I go tor try and sleep some before then I will try and remember all the wonderful women I have loved and ask God to bless them as apparently I could only be a curse to those I have wanted so much to be a blessing to.  I have failed at SCARF, at this house, at 60 Byers St., even failed at being able to save stuff to a flash drive. I'm worthless.
21 June, AD 2017
At 9:30AM the garbage was not taken up so I brought it back, the tree belt had been torn up so maybe that is why it was not picked up from Bob's house.  Some things I just can't read well in my old date book, something at 10AM and something in the afternoon.  Must change to that date book I can read. The first was the C3 meeting at their office/conference room in the south end. We were told that as of Sunday the name has been changed to Metro and includes the South End and Metro Center. I talk with someone about consolidating maps so the city does not have so many overlapping districts, so confusing. Still can't figure out what afternoon was so Bob and I were to meet and we misunderstood where.  After about 3 hours I called and found out it was my fault we did not connect well. Once again I could not speak clearly or accurately or something.  Bub Bob came to the Amity Lodge building and we went through some more stuff looking for a cable "modem" which has apparently "gone missing".  After that I go to apartment and get medications and then start to bicycle to Bob's house, only to call him and say I will be late, forgot it was Church "men's group" meeting tonight. I have started using the new date book and keep the old one just for a quick month at a page glance and items into next year.
20 June, AD 2017
Finish moving ALL the stuff out of the veteran's apartment and then over to Bob's house to help him with the trash.  We got the couch/day-bed out and the last of the stuff. People are ripping off wall paper and such and getting ready to clean up . I thought we had to have the keys back by today, Bob said tomorrow. Many wants to see his old apartment empty, but might not be able to do that.  I got to apartment, bathed again and off by bicycle to the Pioneer Valley Planning Commission for a Pioneer Valley Transit Authority Hearing on proposed route elimination plan. Wayne Nelson was there and reminded me the meeting is a Stop Access Coalition committee meeting at C3 room across from Duncan Donuts in the south end of town.  I had an intense verbal argument with another tenant where I called him a liar and I am so disgusted with this person who has been trouble ever since he first moved into the building.  I want to leave and maybe sooner than I had anticipated.  Much pressure to have me resign from the board of directors as I can not seem to get anything right and not move people in the correct direction.  So sick of being a failure all the time. I will try to sleep at the apartment less than 3 days a week during the summer.  I need to be away from the people with alcohol and drug and mental health issues as they are in the entry way much of the time and I have to go back to my apartment and wait until they leave before I can move back towards the door again as I am supposed to be 5 yards away from them at all times.  Sometimes that is hard as they insist on opening the door for me.  I just want to get away from grown adults acting like little kindergarten kids.
19 June, AD 2017
Work on moving rest of boxes and furniture out of disabled Veteran's apartment. Must be all out by tomorrow.  At 1pm the combined Springfield and Amity Lodge and Agawam Encampment pizza party, we then do not meet until August or September.  At 5:30PM be at the Rally for Rails with senator Lessor. Could not do much in morning, went to Lodge and Bob joined me for a bit then the the Lodge Party at Springfield Lodge and then to move more stuff and then to apartment to bath and walk with umbrella in rain to the Rail Rally and then the AQCA office to meet with our Treasurer for AQCA and do some work there. Back to Apartment and bed, so very tired.
18 June, AD 2017
Church and then back to apartment.  Church picnic was cancelled due to expected rain.  Will maybe clean apartment or most likely move more stuff.

17 June, AD 2017
Steffi picked me up for the Diocesan event in Worcester and she left early from that event (where her two children won in both categories in the oratorical contests) and got me back at the apartment at 2:50PM. So I went up to Armory Day at the National Park Service, Springfield Armory Museum until 5PM. Then back to sleep.
Found the larger spaced date books I had bought before and will switch to them by Sunday and be totally moved over by July 1st.  Probably use a Franklin/Ques dy planner type of system starting with January 01 of 2018.  Must get a note to Scott Hanson and meet with Building Department about 257 Central this week.
16 June, AD 2017
I was so tired last night.  Up again at 1AM to redo things Bob wants for his presentation today.  The over to Springfield Technical Community College and their bookstore to buy sheet protectors for Bob to put his images in. Then to Scibelli Hall for the 3rd Annual Leadership Conference with many a really great speaker.  I got back and to tired to do much of anything. 
15 June, AD 2017
Thursday Bob and I worked on the presentation Bob is to give Friday on Air Force One and more of the moving stuff. Then to my doctors with Bob at 11:20 and then more moving stuff after that.  Bob then brought me up early to the meeting at 100 Bigalow Road in  Holyoke and attended the 1st in a three part series on Financial Literacy as relates to home buying.  I have attended with Steffi the class number 3 and all we need is class number 2 for Wayfinders to be able to pull a "soft" credit report and find out what I need to do.  Steffi brought me home to Bob's place at about 10PM.  I totally forgot to bring the lodge recycle out at Amity, now must wait two more weeks. Why can't I remember things & do things right. Bob constantly says I am doing things wrong, as do the people in this building I am tired of being wrong.
14 June, AD 2017
Was with Bob with more of this veteran's move and he took me to the Building Committee meeting and then the Property Management Committee meeting and the two people that said it had to be on Wednesday to fit in with their schedule did not attend.  So neither came and we approved a letter by management to go out to tenants basically saying they need to follow the house rules.  I will seek to speak with some other Property Managers as I am to say where we can cut things.  I do not know, it is the property management people that need to do this. We, as owners, just need to say you have "X" amount of dollars to pay all bills with, so do it.  After this week did some more on moving this stuff and then I went to a UMass meeting at Tower Square about open spaces and our youth with a focus on how we can overcome perceived racial biases.  From here went to the Men's meeting, then back to the AQCA office to work on the "e-blast" and then back to the apartment, and then to Bob's house.
13 June, AD 2017
Can't remember what was done in the morning, I think do more on this veteran's move. Then to the AQCA office, 3300 Main Street for an appointment and then when that was over at 3PM try to get to the Stop Access Coalition meeting that also started at 3PM at the C3 initiative meeting room in the south end. Then back up to the Brightwood Library to talk with Kathryn and go to the Springfield Climate Justice Coalition meeting. Then back to AQCA, but could not stay long as I had to get to Bob's place to take out the trash and such. Stayed there Tuesday night as I often do on Trash day.  Looks like someone put trash in the recycle bin so it was not taken.
12 June, AD 2017
With Bob all day, sort of 7:45AM to 4:PM moving things out of that Disabled Veteran's place.  So very tired.  I seem to be getting nothing done I need to do.
11 June, AD 2017
Church and then back to the apartment and then over to CHD on Pine Street to start the Springfield Preservation Trust's House Tour fundraiser that I had won a ticket to in responding to the correct answer in a newsletter question.  It was a wonderful tour. Very tired when I got back.

10 June, AD 2017
Stuff with Bob (banged my left hand index finger and the finger nail was soon black) and then over to the apartment to get my bicycle and go tothe Second Saturday walking tour to greet the folks and remind them that we do not meet for AQCA general meetings on the Third Thursday during June and July but do meet on the first Wednesday for the board meeting. Looks like it will be 2nd Wed. in July.  Then over to Springfield's Central High School on Roosevelt Ave. for the Relay for Life Walk.  Amity Lodge # 172 and Springfield Lodge # 235 gave $50 each and I was able to turn that in to the folks at the beginning.  They wanted me to wear he survivors purple t-shirt so I reluctantly did so. What was taken off my eye lid was a tiny thing and I guess they "got it all" but often I cut off warts or things of "grissle" on my body and when the scar heals up I seem to be better.  Lost my balance going out of the area at 11pm and crashed and skinned my elbow and knees.  Skin does not do well when going against black top.  I have been sucking the finger that was damaged a bit now and then to try and draw the blood out and maybe save the finger nail.
09 June, AD 2017
I was doing other thins and went to the Commonwealth Care Alliance class on Chronic conditions when I should have been at the Hampden Conty Continum of Care meeting. I am just not remembering things well. I told them I might not be able to come the next two CCA classes. More stuff with Bob that Afternoon, if I remember it.
08 June, AD 2017
Did some things with Bob and he took me to 69 Capital Ave. in West Springfield to a CHD building where we had the Family Homelessness fair with over 44 vendors and at least 3 workshops sponsored by the Western Massachusetts Regional Network to End Homelessness.  Then back and over to Wayfinders by 5PM to be at a "Meet the Lenders" event where I happened to win a Google Home device.   Steffi came to the event a bit late but learned much. I spoke with some lenders and found my views about the debts due by one corporation I sit on the board of directors with is correct, even if the leadership of the corporation feels otherwise.  A good friend in this work died (suddenly for us) and I was not able to go to the calling hours or get to the funeral the next day.  I don't mind if I die, I am not contributing much, but he was a great force for good and I can not see  how his shoes will ever be filled.  I am very depressed over this turn of events.
07 June, AD 20a7
Did some things with Bob and then  back to 140 Chestnut Street, Kimball Towers, for the Armory Quadrangle Civic Association meeting and meet with people who  want our approval in an application for an All Alcohol Beverage license.  I stayed there after the meeting to work on an "e-blast" and some other things and then down to the Men's meeting.  Saw an BUG LIGHT cup and figured it could stand for "Being Utterly Devine, Love Is God's Highest Thought".
06 June, AD 2017
Up to a hearing of the Alcohol and Beverage Commission in Northampton, then bought some books and came back and was at an event at UMass-Springfield from 5-8PM, speaking of ways we can revitalized the city.  A good presentation was given and it was a very inspiring "meet-up" with others who want to improve things.
05 June, AD 2017
I have it listed that I had a Wayfinders Class from Noon to 2PM, but can't remember if I went or not, so depressed lately.
04 June, AD 2017
So tired after yesterday and the day before.  After Church I just got back to the apartment and slept. So very, very very tired and so sad I can't do much right.
03 June, AD 2017
I did not go down to Grand Lodge, I.O.O.F. in Milford last night so Bob brought me down this morning. Then since I was "stuck" Steffi was so kind as to bring me back.
02 June, AD 2017
Helped Bob all day as we try to start getting things out of a disabled Vet's apartment who has gone to a more intensive "Assisted Living" program.
01 June, AD 2017
Meeting cancelled this morning, so I could help Bob with something.  This evening I go up to 100 Bigalow road in Holyoke for a Wayfinders Class in home ownership. Steffi Crivelli comes up after work and she gave me a ride back.  Like the First Time Home Buyers classes, to many months have gone by since I took the class before, so I need to do it all over again.

Did not record much until June 17th. Very Depressed.

JUNE Starts

31 May, AD 2017
Today I meet with Jane Devline at the AQCA office and she turns over the membership things.  Reminds me of years ago when I was on the membership committee, but someone else wanted to be chair (and then she wanted to do most of the work).  So I get the job again and hope I can reduce it down to a written set of instructions for using the awful microsoft Outlook program to track email so others can read it. So glad Betsy is now Vice President and it all does not fall on just my shoulders to make certain we are at meetings. On this last day of May I will most probably (if windows stuff does not happen today) finish with a new update to the Apple OS for the AQCA computer and maybe send out a notice about the association's board of directors meeting next Wednesday.  Most of all a report goes out today to all the city people involved with 257 Central Street and prepare for the Class about home ownership at Holyoke next Thursday and the Meet the Lenders event at the Basketball Hall of fame the following Thursday that Wayfinders is doing. So very tired and yet want to accomplish something good in this life.
30 May, AD 2017
Conference with Property Management and the window replacement company owner about the mess-up in not ordering the windows. I am OK with them being replaced at a later date for my unit.  I know the company has a firm commitment with a large project at the University of Massachusetts at Amherst this summer.  And I will proceed with this project and getting other short term housing.  Please pray I can get the financing for this project and somehow get donations and grants and such so a foundation can be established to continue keeping up the house and such after I am gone.  Also maybe 60 Byers Street and a structure at the family homestead that is so unlivable at the moment. I do appreciate and seek your prayers as I seek God's guidance in all things.  Please pray that I not only seek but am willing to follow what God says for me to do. To often I have rebelled and not trusted God in these matters.  Might need to accompany Bob to Westport and help him get some items, do some things and check on family members.  All of this is "up in the air" and I know I need to get flowers going for Bob soon.  I have made a firm decision to NOT talk with almost anyone at the building at 32 Byers Street beginning with the Fiscal Year 2018 and starting gradually now through June.
29 May, AD 2017
Memorial Day and I will try and accomplish something.  I want to sleep at the apartment so I am there early in the morning when the window people come.  I would like to get the used windows I have obtained will to temporary storage today.  When I get enough I contact the contractor. It would be so good to be able to get the financing and do this house with the older windows and some sort of 1970's type of technology to keep the cold out and the heat in the windows and keep warm at 257 Central, want so much to make this project "work".  News the contractor might have found a funding group and I contact WayFinders Tuesday about credit.
28 May, AD 2017
Church and then back to Bob's house to help with the changing of a valve on a toilet.  It was supposed to be dry in the afternoon so Bob took me up to the Berkshires I put flowers around my relatives graves and some of Grange members and Alice Davis's family. To tired at 5:30PM to do much of anything. Went to lay down and then read email and then update this.  It is now 9:30PM and I am so tired. Going to bed.  Hope I can do some moving of things to storage tomorrow.  Pretty much tired of being wrong all the time and being the reason all others do not succeed.  I think I can not help and will be withdrawing from speaking to any person at this building and not going out of my room if I am there.  Hope to rehab a house and move there by September. If not then I leave Byers Street by Dec.
27 May, AD 2017
I got to sleep maybe at 3AM.  By 4:50 AM Bob was up and put that infernal TV on again.  So I am awake and finishing updating these pages.  He uses the TV to go to sleep with. The articles I have read say you can do that but the sleep you get is shallow and fractured.  I often can not tell Bob much of anything, and yet in some subjects I know (or I believe I know) the subject and will argue forcefully  against his position and not move on it.  It is 5:34 now and that TV blab is so jarring to me. As I think of it, I have hardly watched any TV in the past year and when I did it was a documentary or something like that. So I will attempt to finish this and get back to bed again. This just emphasizes how fragile the little rest is that I get with narcolepsy.  I just yawned, time to get to bed again while I can get the sleep.  Then to the event in Worcester and then maybe back to see if I can get $20 from the bank and go to an estate sale to perhaps only look round at ( a friend is doing this that is associated with the Maple, High, 6 Corners Neighborhood Council, so they told me and I want to go).  Then it will be back to Bob's and rest before Church tomorrow.
26 May, AD 2017
Well I mis-read the clock and instead of getting the 8:15 bus I got the 7:15 one to the bus station to then get a bus to 101 Wasson Ave and the course on dealing with chronic diseases that was put together by Stanford University.  Great instruction but the facilitators are trying to read the instructions instead of learning the lines like you would in a play. Hence it comes off very stilted and really not convincing. Sort of like some actors in the first ready of a  play. The information and what is attempting to be taught I think is quite good.  Now that I am much older I think this sort of memorized scripting is how in 1969 (while at a summer session of the University of Massachusetts in Amherst, MA) a couple presented Transcendental Meditation to me and it was such a vibrant and alive presentation I signed up.  After the class, where one of he people seemed to say I ate to much, and that was probably true, I got on the bus for the apartment; after walking to the Post Office and picking up a book I had bought on world religions while awaiting the transfer to the B6 buss at the terminal.  As I went by Worthington St. I remembered I was supposed to be meeting someone at Theador's for luncheon meeting that had been arranged last month. So I got off at Bolland way walked back and waited at that location until a few minutes before 1PM, then walked back to the apartment as I had spent twice the bus money on a waitstaff tip.  I got to the building and they were taking out the windows that I was told I could have.  I got most of them but Bob came and he asked some questions and wanted to do certain things and I just did not have the strength to argue those things and still politely ask for the windows that were already on the truck to be taken away and destroyed. They were, as I think of it now, the windows in the room my dear friend had lived in across the hall from me. BUT again I was nearly exhausted from little sleep and had little "time to myself" as he was demanding where I was because he could not reach me on the telephone since 7:45AM.  As it turned out the measuring person from the glass company apparently did not measure some windows and so there were not windows for my room, not one for another person's bath room on the wing I have my apartment on and not windows for the community room and the street facing apartment on this floor. So I contacted the Social Service people and informed them of this after the property management people told me that the owner will be down to speak with us Tuesday and nothing can be done till then.  I had them screw my window shut and got clothing to go to Bob's house and stay there until at least Monday night. We might go to the Berkshires and put flowers around the graves Monday.  As we went back to Bob's house he asked if I had anything else to do and I said no. So he went to the lodge building and we spent about 3 hours setting up a water faucet outside so a neighbor next door can get water to test some aspects of a rehab of a structure they are working on.  One part of the city will not allow the water to be piped to that house yet, and still another part of the city demands the work done so far (plumbing and such) be inspected "on time".  It is just something you deal with when there are many departments and one is so short staffed the work can not get scheduled and done in a timely manner.  Why do I talk about this? Because these are yet other things that could "come up" for people we would be helping and they need to be recorded and possible solutions written down or put in a database so that we can talk to our people and have them "get through" the situation without getting all emotionally upset.  Then we got to Bob's house and I was all tired and had to eat and then lay down and rest before I could bath.  The clean clothing was now dirty from messing around the cellar and such and I was filthy. I bathed and yet could not sleep well. Then I got up to update these page and went back to bed when I got tired.  Must get up early  tomorrow.  Bob says he will take me the short distance to the church building's parking lot so I am there by 7:45AM and catch a ride with Steffi or John DeVoie as we go to see the Bishop for a conference on how a Parish Council should function.  Each is to donate some food and I am to bring two bottles of soda and maybe some bananas.
25 May, AD 2017
Should be at Holyoke public library for Unaccompanied Youth meeting, but had  to cancel, so much work to be done on apartment.  Worked on it and two two loads over and got book-case in.  Then at 5PM went down to HAP (Wayfinders) as Bob's passenger for a 6PM Credit Workshop.  Steffi joined me for this one also a bit late.  Learned so very much.  Need to lose credit points to get two more credit cards or most probably can not get a mortgage.  Will contact the instructor and get a one-on-one consultation and contact a credit union regarding this property as quickly as possible.  Also contact the city telling of my plans and actions Tuesday.
24 May, AD 2017
Pack up stuff and put in Van, then go with Bob to Amity Lodge meeting at the lodge hall and then put most stuff in storage and try to clean up more.
23 May, AD 2017
Try to spend most of today sending out minutes and packing up stuff for windows replacement Friday.  Told Jodi Smith, Portfolio Manager about in, will send her.
22 May, AD 2017
Board of Directors meeting we prepare for and print out things. It is a difficult meeting with Bob asking about the windows and debt payment and the President threatening to quite if we don't stop asking questions and challenging things.  Bob is upset because we asked certain things verbally agreed to were not in the contract the President signed and she did not eve write them in.  His contention is if it is not in the contract, then it will not get done. I do Parish Council minutes and send them off and print 32 Byers Street, Inc. minutes for Pam to proof read and then do some other things and rest, so very very tired.
21 May, AD 2017
Church, then Parish Council Meeting, then stay at Church and watch things and man the donation desk for the Still Small Theater rendition of  "Measure for Measure", a Shakespearean play that looks at domestic abuse, among other things.  Then we talked with the play cast and put the hall back in shape and went back to my apartment.  I was tired and went to bed, then up in the we hours of the morning again to prepare for the 32 Byers Street, Inc. board of directors meeting.
20 May, AD 2017
Should be in Hartford, CT but might be here working on things and preparing for the 32 Byers Street, Inc. board of directors meetings.  Must have most of what I had near windows in storage by today or Tuesday of next week.  But I had the opportunity to retake the First Time Home Buyers Class through "WayFinders" (used to be called HAP) and so I took it. I could have another person come with me so I asked Steffi to come. I bicycled over but mistook the time and go there by 7 something AM, took less time without much traffic. They did not open up until 9AM, when the class started.  Steffi got there a bit late but I had the materials for her and she just had to sign in at the break. I paid our $50 fee. We learned a lot.  And finally when it was over with we did some things and I got back to pack up some more stuff and get it ready for the great windows move.  Early in the morning I am getting materials and printing them for tomorrows Parish Council Meeting.
19 May, AD 2017
Should be in Boston for Un-Accompanied Youth Homelessness meeting, but was instead in court to try and defend the anti-harassment  order the many that threatened to kill me is objecting to.  Had planned to revise a document made and signed as to what to do with my body and belongings should I die crafted and maybe noterized just in case the anti-harassment order is lifted and I have no protection against this man who is often drunk or acting as if he is not in control of his thoughts and actions.  We were in court from 9AM on through the 1PM lunch break. Then reconvened at 2PM. But we were now told to go to the lower level courtroom number 2.  Once there we were finally called and sworn in at about 2:30PM.  The Judge asked if we were police officers and we said no. Then it was found out the defendant was mixed up about when his probation ended, it ends abut the 27th of July, if I remember correctly.  So he had this incident mixed up with another one when he fought the police a second time a few months after April of 2016.  The judge asked if we wanted the non-harassment order modified and we said no. So the order protecting me and Bob Maurice stands.  The defendant seems to always want to hang around the building's entrance and community room and lobby much of the time, another person just waiting to become a resident in a nursing home with activities and food and time to talk and do nothing.  So I try to avoid him as much as I can.  We waited in the clerk's office to get the paper work saying the non-harassment order was kept in force and spoke with a lady we had seen there before we went back into court after the noon recess.  She said she had been abused and we got a telephone book and referred her to Open Door Social Services (a part of Open Pantry Community Services and a division of SMOC).  I prayed with her and she hugged me before I left. Bob was already down the stairs.  I thought as I went down those stairs that in dealing with things of God and in prayer is when I am most alive.  I have tried all sorts of sin, but my only real time of feeling alive is when I am spiritually assisting someone. We did other things that day and I started more on boxing things up and preparing things.
18 May, AD 2017
Prepare for and host Armoury Quadrangle Civic Association General Meeting at Museum Park Apartments at 7PM.
17 May, AD 2017
Create the board for the AQCA meeting telling events to end of the month.  Be at Springfield Preservation Trust's preservation awards at tower square.
16 May, AD 2017
Morning, contact court and box up things to move. Looks like man who threatened to kill me will have his non-harrasment order lifted, and I will become vulnerable to his drunken actions again.  At 2PM be at counselor's office  and then prepare for the AQCA General Meeting at the AQCA office and at the apartment. 
15 May, AD 2017
Office work and letters to seek funding for this project and how to establish foundation organizations to keep the thoughts I have going.  Be at STCC by Noon for the Landscape Design and Maintenance students final exam presentation, 17/317 beginning at 1pM.   Them to go to the City Council meeting to support the Food Truck ordinance.  Then throw out trash and any cardboard not to be used to pack up things near the windows at the apartment and get things ready so I can move out of this building near the end of this fiscal year.  Also bring flyers to Armoury Commons Apartments for the AQCA General Meeting this Thursday. Confirm the attendance at the AQCA General Meeting this Thursday of the Election Commission, etc. and see if they need any technological services. 
14 May, AD 2017
Church, then accepted a ride back to my apartment by Deacon Michael as the left leg seemed to be wanting to collapse.  Did eat some and update this record and then sleep. Must box up things and start writing letters and emails to try and secure funding and a pairing down of things for the project at 257 Central Street.

13 May, AD 2017
Can not be late as we are to be at the corner of Boland Way and Main Street on the northeast side by 6AM, so I am up at 4:45AM and bathed and dressed and down to the place.  The batteries were nearly dead on my camera, I found out in the morning. So put it on a charger. Then went to the spot at Main Street by 6AM, got the place secured and things in place when our past President and Gerry Enright, or team leader for this project, arrived and I left at 7:30AM to go and get the camera battery recharged and a warm sweat-shirt.  Got back by 8AM and then left at about 9:50 to be at the 2nd Saturday walking tours after hearing Mayor Sarno's comments and welcomed the folks there and left as they started the walking tour to go back and have some of the Pancake Breakfast myself and oversee our closing up.  At 11:45AM Gerry and the others left and I left shortly afterwards, after stacking chairs on the tables, etc.  My friend Steffi Crivelli came by and I met her back at my apartment and then went with her to pick out and buy flowers for her at the "Pioneer Valley Christian School" and the "Gardening the Community" plat sales since we missed the one at STCC.  Then back to the apartment and to collapse and sleep.  I spent from about 4PM to the next day resting and sometimes listening to the radio receiver a man had given me through the NextDoor program. Send a note to our AQCA team "lead" to ask if I had all the names correct to see about saying "thank you" and then went to bed again.
12 May, AD 2017
Up again at 6:59PM and bicycle over to the LaQuinta Hotel for the Climate Action and Resilliancy Planning program with the PVPC and the city and Arise and such. I was on the Trees workshop but put in a word for my contention that people in local communities (associations and councils) should be given much authority so they feel and actually do have a good deal of input into decisions that effect their lives to the government workshop.  Much good there, then wen to the Community Healthcare Improvement Program in West Springfield.  Apparently the interview of myself by a TV reporter was aired in the next day or so.  Then back to Springfield, and print out the list for the AQCA beverage distribution group at the World's Largest Pancake Breakfast tomorrow.  Calls came in and I did not get to sleep until about 3AM.
11 May, AD 2017
Items at home about AQCA and the upcoming Pancake Breakfast.  WEbinar at 1PM, had to use telephone, might have been more expensive than anticipated, and hour or so long in time.  To the AQCA office to work on things some, if time permits, maybe not and then the the Liquor License Commission meeting at 5:30PM. Got to the license commission and voiced our support for the Smokey Joe's Cigar Lounge request for an All Alcohol Beverage license.   Then I was to go to the MassLandlord's meeting on the new lead paint laws. BUT there was an issue an AQCA board member was concerned about, so I stayed for that and the security issues around 3 strip bars in our area. So it was to late by 8PM to bicycle to the MassLandlords meeting at Twin Hills Country Club, so I went to the AQCA office.  Worked there till about midnight. Everything is pretty much as it should be now. Got back in time to go to bed and bath before being up early in the morning. People called and things to do outline and so I get back to the Rainville but end up at the Computer and such till about 3AM.
10 May, AD 2017
With Bob most of the day as we did things and got ready for the Amity Lodge meeting at the lodge hall building.  At 6PM I am at the Elms College in Chicopee and hearing a presentation on drug abuse and what people use to hide drugs.  An AWESOME program. So tired, also seemed to have a pre-epeleptic seizure aura. Did what I used to do 50 years ago to calm it down. Does frighten me if I am getting epilepsy again.
09 May, AD 2017
7:30AM, at AQCA office, then with Jane to find out about accessing AQCA email.  She left and I continuted to work on updating the operating system. Mostly done but had to leave to get to the Maple/High/6Corners Neighborhood Council Meeting. From the council meeting I went to Bob's to help with his garbage & recycle.
08 May, AD 2017
Movie with Ray Pauley a we went to see Guardians of the Galaxy or something like that.  The ending was nice.  Tomorrow at AQCA  office to learn about looking at email through Microsoft's Outlook program.
07 May, AD 2017
Church and then to the WWI Music presentation at the Armoury, National Historic Site. It was great! hope to have a link here soon.

06 May, AD 2017
Away all day in Dedham, MA at Saint John of Damascus Antiochian Orthodox Christian Church for a diocesan wide choral event and celebration of music ministries in the life ad worship of the Church.  I updated the "Go Fund Me" page to share my frustrations and how I lost the funding and must find other funding before the middle of May, preferably before Mother's Day.  Holy Mary, I seek your intercessions.
05 May, AD 2017
Worked on the E-blast for AQCA and finally got it ready to go. BUT went to sleep first.  Then sent it off around 8AM.  Off in the morning to the Science Museum for the 11AM ceremony of the representatives of the Federal Government and Mayor Sarno signing an Urban Bird Treaty in which we are one of 27 cities nationwide to create habitats and sanctuaries for birds in an urban setting.  After the time I stayed for the "Birds of Prey" demonstration at the Science Museum and it was explained that with our city expansions (over 80 % of our country now lives in cities) the birds have lost their habitats.  I come back and talk with the counselor from RLC and as I am on the phone the woman that was taken away by ambulance the night before comes back, opens my door and asks for matches or a cigarette lighter.  I said I had none and this time I locked he door. I was told by a professional we hied to interface with problem tenants here that the other paramedic last night was for a tenant that had died here.  I was supposed to be somewhere by 1PM, but could not read my own writing in my date book. Need to get another one with more space to it. My refrigerator had failed for about the 16th time last night. Bet the food is all spoiled. I took the nomination down to the school department for the teacher I worked with in the Read Aloud program as she really cares about her students.  It is raining hard so I stop at the AQCA office, eat the condiments I had there and drank some v8 juice while looking to see if we can upgrade the OS on that computer.  Looks like we can upgrade that one bought 7 years ago but the one I go worth $3,000 last year can not be upgraded. And the folks promised me otherwise.  Got back and was told the woman that had been taken away and came back had been seen on a floor she was not supposed to be on. I am just staying away from that person entirely.  I am typing this until Midnight to get it done. Called the person who is driving us to Dedham tomorrow for an diocesan choral event.  Then I will collapse. Must call her if the rid edoes not call me bay 5:30AM. We need to be in Dedham, MA, apparently by 8 or 8:30AM.  Must write those letters Sunday about seeking funding for this house.
04 May, AD 2017
At the court by 8:45AM (Bob drove me down) and by 11AM we were out with the appropriate orders.  I did some things at the apartment and tried to avoid the woman that came back.  She was now yelling to non-existent people to get out of her room, calling it her "house".  I left to get to the banks and transfer monies and get to the Post office to get a bill paid.  Only back to the apartment to grab a warmish wind breaker and then I got to the Community Policing meeting at the Mason/Wright Community Center on Walnut Street (hey are moving when that senior center leaves)  just in time by bicycle and then to the Walk/Bike Springfield meeting at Forrest Park Library and then over to Bob's house to take his trash barrels back in from yesterday.  When I got back the Security people were there and awaiting a second set of medics.  The lady that had been screaming since 2 or 3PM for the non-existent people were in her "house" was now so "off the wall" that the medical people were called for her.  I try and go to bed and not deal with anything.  After a bit it is quiet so I think she has settled down. I finish the graphic arts thing and send it to the printer.  They report the work is acceptable, all is fine with it now.
03 May, AD 2017
Get things ready for the AQCA meeting and thought I was forgetting something. Later on I remembered I was supposed to be with the UMass. students when they were hanging up their plans on chestnut street for the area around Apremont Triangle.  VERY good work they have done.  I so some things from 2-3PM and gen go over the the AQCA office and print out agendas and such for the meeting and finish the work on the flyer to be edited, as well as the e-blast.  At 4PM we have the AQCA board of directors meeting  and I come back to the apartment not feeling well.  From abut 4:15PM on my lower lips swelled up and were burning. Head aches. Throat really back and stuffed up. Came back and took the nasal spray and went to bed.  Must get up in the morning and go to court to seek he extension of non-harassment orders against the man that came up to me, out of the blue, and said he would kill me. We had found we did not need to bring back the small amount of things so I brought the bags to the AQCA office.Jane brought the water bottles and the gloves and such we will give away as someone needs them.  We hope to use some for another event that can advertise Keep Springfield Beautiful.  Work on that councilman's project again.
02 May, AD 2017
Worked from just after midnight through 7AM on these drawings and ideas.  Then went to bed and got up on the computer and started some more things for the AQCA meeting and to pirnt off the things I sent to the contractor so show my counselor.  I left in a hurry as it was no longer raining and I could use my bicycle to get to 3300 Mains Street in time.  As I left the person that less than 6 days ago was demanding I send drugs to her is back in the building and acting worse than ever.  I am shocked at how she has gone down hill. She looks like the images of Dr. Timothy Leary (also of Springfield) near his time of death.  I am so afraid she has come back just to buy drugs.  I was cold to her and went off to my appointment.  She said she left the keys to the hall door back where she was staying in Maine, I doubt it.  Cam back and went over to Jane's and we cataloged the items needed to be returned to Keep Springfield Beautiful if they wanted them.  I had some work to do to help a city council member and was doing some of that design work.  Bob wanted me to take his trash out so I came over and did that and then back to my apartment.  Then I went to try and sleep some, having difficulty doing that these days.
01 May, AD 2017
I am astounded.  I only sent up drugs and such for someone and now they are coming back to the building.  Do some things from 9AM on and then to the AQCA office after going to Armory Commons Park when it was to open.  A bit of a rainy day.  I craft and print off the letters and go back to the Apartment and get the Bicycle as the rain has stopped. I take the things to city hall and speak with the election commission people. I get back to the apartment to bicycle up to Springfield Lodge and Agawam Encampment meetings up on Berkshire Ave. Worked on much of the e-blast for the weekend and a letter to go to the Election Commission to have them also come to the AQCA meeting in May.  I went to hear Mr. Waters (Running as a State Senator) Speak, liked much of what he said.  Then saw the contractor from Uptown Construction and we talked about this project.  He explained how he thought much of the costs did not need to happen at this time.  I left feeling better.  Met a lady from College that had become homeless and was now living in an SRO at Friends of the Homeless. Walked her to the bus stop and waited until she got the bus.  Then to the pharmacy to get the drugs that were ordered.  I am going to stop much of this automatic refill of many drugs. Much of them are PRN (Patient Request as Needed) and I do not need them much of the time. I must have 8 tubes of something I only needed one tube for.  Tried to get trash out of here and go to bed.  Could not sleep so I worked on some plans to change things at this project. I have only a week or so to get letters out and send copies to city planning or they will contract to bulldoze down the house and try and sell the land.  I draw the ideas and then scan them in as pngs and then put them in writer documents and print them off as pdfs and send them to the contractor.  I thought I needed $100,000 but if we can cut down at least $40,000 the project might be able to be done.  If the house would resell after I die for $95,000 and we can accomplish it for $55,000 then the financier could still make a profit upon sale after my death.  What I think I want to do is to set up a foundation to develop and maintain the home while I am alive and to rent it and such after I die.  Sot of like a land-trust but done in such a way that the building is assured to continue on for the next 50 years at least.  I have hope, am excited and must write all this out.  So I am up from 11PM tonight until early next morning doing this.

May Starts

30 April, AD 2017
Church and then back to the Apartment, so very, very tired.  Not doing much.  AQCA board meeting is Wednesday and need to prepare for that.  The Church Parish Council meeting will be on the Third Sunday and not the First or Second in May. I was told some bags were not picked up by the parks dept. so I went looking and came across the Mattoon Street Apple Blossom Festival in full swing. I was invited in and told about a letter that needed to be at city hall by noon tomorrow.
29 April, AD 2017
Up and over to Classical Condominiums at 8:30AM, help Jane bring the items down.  We have people sign in and then we record the routes they are taking. The area is well covered.  Michael goes with me and we go up State Street to Across from Commerce High School, then across the street and down the South Side of the Street and back to Classical. We get there just in time to go and get the lunches ordered.  We get back and eat and clean up and then I go to get my bicycle.  I talk with a girl who is looking for a NA meeting.  Tell here about Revitalize CDC's Alden Street efforts. Then go to that spot and start helping clean up there and get tools back and such. Am given a shirt that is respect as if I was a captain.  Was doing work like that. Nice to be appreciated.   The all are gone but the caterers so I leave also for STCC. Get there in time to hear my friend and former Vice President speak with the new President but I am going thought the STCC buildings for an hour with no luck. What I found was it was a the National Park Service Springfield Armoury Museum. Got there to late, only to see the person going out and hear from an AQCA member what a great presentation it was.  Then did not go to the CARP planning meeting but was so exhausted I just came back to the apartment and went to the computer and sleep.  Put stuff in a box and will get the left-overs later to bring back or whatever.
28 April, AD 2017
Very Sick or at least all tired out.  Resting much of the day. Preparing for the Keep Springfield Beautiful events in the morning and getting AQCA things ready for the work Saturday.  So tired. But did get the letters to the Lawyer for Smoky Joe's and over to Develop Springfield and down to the License Commission.  Jay Minkarah showed me around the house they rehabbed and it is a wonderful building that had been a doctor's office and I guess home as well. Ben Murphy of the Historic Commission was also working there. Must come back with thank-you notes for both of them for our AQCA meeting that was last week.
27 April, AD 2017
So much "on tap" for today. Not the least of which is the World War One Centennial flag raising at noon at Apremont Triangle just across from the AQCA office at 140 Chestnut Street.  Then to STCC for the inauguration of their new President. Then the local students of the UMass. Landscape Architecture and Regional Planning Masters Degree level present their findings for Apremont Triangle area at 122 Chestnut Street. 
26 April, AD 2017
Go up to UMass to see the presentations by the UMass Landscape Architecture and Regional Planning Maaster Degree students regarding the Apremont Triangle redesign that we  talked of last Thursday.  Then at 4:30PM to be at a dinner and talk at St. Michael's Roman Catholic Church's banquet hall facility and have papers with me to talk of the flag raising at Apremont Triangle tomorrow.
25 April, AD 2017
Well I thought I was going to DC, but I guess not.  Do the stuff I need to and get minutes ready and letters out and make calls for the Keep Springfield Beautiful and the AQCA team that will be cleaning up then.
24 April, AD 2017
Must get eblast out and prepare for 32 Byers Street meeting.  Have not looked at email since Thursday the 20th at about 5PM.  I am sick of not being listened to. I will most probably not say anything and just record what is said at the meeting.  I do  not know when, but it looks like it will take me a few months to get all the documents I have electronically and put them on a flash drive.  Should learn about doing an Iso image.  I think it is time for me to start fading away and should be living somewhere else by July 1st.  It looks like I have failed here as well.  Want to be able to sing the Conquest of Paradise but probably can't.
23 April, AD 2017
Steffi got me for Church and then fellowship and then back to the apartment after getting more drugs at the pharmacy. Did not do eblast I should have done Friday, frozen, can't do much, hurt so very much.
22 April, AD 2017
Went to order of St. Benedict and then back by getting bicycle at Bob's and to apartment.  So tired, so exhuasted, so much feeling like a failure, can't even do eblast for my people of AQCA.
21 April, AD 2017
Friday and no clean up much to do and I am inside and will be on the internet. Need to craft an 'e-blast' but am so disheartened I can do almost nothing. Spend all of the day and into Saturday morning inside.
20 April, AD 2017
Spend most of the day with finishing up cleaning up from the Holiday Meals and put trash out at Amity Lodge as we get final things cleaned up.  Then a few hours to get ready for the Armoury Quadrangle Civic Association meeting tonight at 140 Chestnut Street, the Kimball Towers Condominium's Community Room at 7pm.  Some speakers were ill, but others covered and Ben Murphy came to talk of the Apremont Triangle Historic District measures.  Back late.
19 April, AD 2017
Another 6AM up to clean up from the "holiday meal".  The UMass Landscape Architecture and Regional Planning masters degree studio students were not at Apremont Triangle today by 10am.  This is the meeting that was postponed from last week because of the rain was to be today and I wanted to be there to offer the AQCA board meeting space if it is needed.  I also wanted to tell them of the Apremont Historic District proposals and such that will me mentioned at tomorrow's AQCA meeting. So much to say  but when I went into the AQCA office to check email I found out their professor's home burned and the whole project might be 'scrapped' as he has to focus on getting shelter for him (and his family I assume) and all he can do is give the lectures and exams to teach them the competencies without the field work he had wanted so much to do. I feel crushed again.  Everything pushed away from windows into tub and taken to lodge tomorrow, all insulation off the windows to the men can  measure them for the cheesy and of very little value vinyl windows that will most probably not last 10 years without denigrating to trash pieces.  Vinyl windows are shown to be a very poor investment and double pained glass would be much better.  But the board of directors of this building have swallowed the lie so I will most probably be leaving that board at the end of this fiscal year, if not before.  Vinyl windows will pay for themselves in 28 years and be falling apart and probably need to be replaced in about their 18th year and have very little insulation properties on their own and look UGLY from the outside.  I fully expect in about 20 years there will be a big rush to replace vinyl windows with wooden ones again as the "foreces that be" will finally have found out what a poor choice they are.  Same is as what has happened to asbestos and should with fiberglass.
18 April, AD 2017
The "final" hours of "clean up" must happen today from the Holiday meal, and I have a full schedule of other things.  Hopefully I can be of some help as we "wrap up" this thing for a few months. I MUST start in earnest seeking funding somehow for 257 Central Street, it might be this week or never.  Might go to DC next week and try and see some folks.  2PM a meeting at 3300 Main Street with a counselor and then a Stop Access Coalition meeting in the afternoon at 3PM at the C-3 Community Policing initiative office. I will try and go from one meeting to the other but doubt I can get to Stop Access before 3:30PM. 
17 April, AD 2017
32 Byers Street, Inc. board of directors meeting is next week, but it might get pushed up to today since a contract was signed without a Memorandum of Understanding to safeguard the corporation that ones the building I live in from incurring more fees or not getting the things promised by the contractor verbally.  I am so frustrated, sometimes I just feel like walking off the board of directors.  Seems like nothing is listened to that is really important and we spend a lot of time on little silly stuff that are interpersonal matters that never should go past property management and our social services hired components. If I could get 1000 people to donate the cost of a cup of coffee a day, I would have within one year, the full cost of rehabbing 257 Central Street.  That is one person in every 150 in this city as there are over 150,000 people here. I need to seek God's will as somehow I seem to be floundering.  I have finished the biography of Timothy Leary and am so depressed.  His first wife committed suicide instead of living without him. She left two children. He got his son on drugs.  His daughter could not handle all of this and 35 years after her mother, she committed suicide.  Why does a "civilized" culture make life so hard that the only way people feel they can stop the pain that folks say they are causing is by ceasing to exist?  This is culture?  See so many parallels to my own failed life.  Most likely more clean-up and put away stuff for the Holiday Meal event yesterday and it might stretch over a few days.  I need to be at the AQCA office today by about 2PM and we have a meeting, I think there, at 4PM.  So much to do an catch up on the emails from the past 4 days, over 250, so that will take some time as well.  I have Lodge Meetings starting at 1PM that I am being picked up for at 12:30PM and I hope I can be dropped off at the AQCA office by 2:30 or 3PM.  That means the only time to go with Bob for things is this morning.


16 April, AD 2017
Pasha (Passover), Easter, Resurrection Sunday, the victory over sin and death of our Lord and Savior, Jesus the Christ.  I will go to Church but also help with guarding the back hallways of the Commerce High School for the Holiday Meal for those who do not have much but are greedy and have a hand out for everything to be given to them for free.  I don't think I want to continue to foster an attitude of dependency and the thought that someone "owes" you goodies.  None of this is as I was taught "growing up" and none of it is what I see in the Holy Bible.  I do not know what it is, but it is not the idea of the way life should be lived that the Pilgrims had in Plymouth, and I am not certain I want any part of it.   I got up at about 5:30AM and made signs for the plants (Please do no take the plants) for the Holiday Meal and then got some other things and then went to the High School of Commerce to help set up and put out signs and work on the plants that had been soaking all night. 
Then I went back to the apartment, bathed and caught the first bus up so I could walk about a quarter of a mile to the Church.  Got there just before service and to late for Matins.  The service was OK but a bunch of "special music" and old Latin stuff that I think has no place in worship today.  I think this "music" is reminiscent  of a time when the Church of Rome broke away from the Christian Church and tried to create it's own church. I have had enough of that arrogance and see no need to hear it all over again. So Holy Week was just great until Easter Sunday when we had "special" stuff that sounded pretty much like an abomination to me.  I left as soon as I could after service, was asked to do this and that and might have missed the bus I wanted but caught another one another 1/4 of a mile or so away.  Got to my spot to guard the back hall way and direct people to the bathrooms.  I thought we had help so I did not ask people to help cleaning up, wrong move.  So we did as best as we could and we took some food to an older lady and then I was dropped off back at my apartment at about 5PM.  I will try and east some and sleep. Wanted to go over to Bob's house but think I will eat and stay here.  I was accosted by someone at my building making all sorts of accusations about people harboring fugitives and all sorts of strange thoughts.  I have heard of strange stories like this before when I was an Activities Director at a Nursing Home and I don't want to live among such folks at all.  I will ask the security guy tonight if he knows anything about this.  I am so tired of some people. I want to move away. I would be perfectly happy to die alone than to live long among people that are full of "drama" and really not getting much done.  I now think it is unsafe to live here and Tuesday or Wednesday will continue to see a continuance of the non-harassment order against the fellow who threatened to kill me last year.   But tonight I am very, very tired and we do more of this again tomorrow, clean up.

15 April, AD 2017
Holy Saturday services at night, I do not think there is St. Benedictine morning events.  I guess I am to help most of the day get things ready for this blasted "holiday meal" that I think no longer serves the purpose it was designed for and is not a help to much of anyone any more.  We can all "feel good" about helping the "needy" but in reality we are helping almost NO ONE and instead we are creating a dependency on others for some people that just "greases the skids" for them to be put into a nursing home or other "institution" because by accepting all this help they have "proven" they can not take care of themselves.  The whole thing make me sick inside.  Just got back from helping set up the "holiday meal" for the "needy" and "greedy" and it is almost 4PM. Need to be at Church by about 5:30PM after bathing and then go to help at 6AM and maybe leave tomorrow to get into Church and then back to this fiasco.  So much work to provide a nice meal and setting for people that are more greedy and disrespectful and lazy than the richest people on the planet.  I did not believe some things until I lived among people that do these things and think it is "normal".  I either get to another place and money to rehab it all or leave here for somewhere else.  I have been in subsidized housing for over 20 years and I am "done" with it all.  It would be enough to declare me totally incompetent, not being able to take care of my self that way.  I am not in a good frame of mind and seem to not be able to do anything right.  I am told I did not say things I know I said.  I am told I did not hear things I am certain others did not say. In short I am wrong no matter what I do and I do not desire to continue living that way.  Things change or I am getting out of here.  I can not continue to believe I am hurting everyone and letting people down all the time because I can not function.  The Bible says to love your neighbor as yourself, and if I did that I would be hating everyone.  I hat myself and my inability to do much of anything right. I just HATE me !  I wanted so much to go to St. George and St. Peter and Paul tonight as I normally do, but my legs just would not carry me.  The body seems to be "giving in"  or "playing out" on me.  I am so very, very, very tired physically and tiered of always doing wrong.
14 April, AD 2017
I wanted to go to Commonwealth Care Alliance and see if I can talk with someone there to see if I can just do the work in the book for the class that was cancelled.  I really need to know the stuff about living with Chronic Health Conditions.  However I will have to try and do that at a later date.  We had to be getting stuff to get ready for Sunday's meal for the needy (and greedy).  Just as I feared this day people agreed to something our Building Committee at 32 Byers Street, Inc. does not approve of.  We wanted a document that had in writing all that had been agreed to by the contractors.  But instead a revised document was signed that had NOT been sent to the executive committee for review, only to the board President.  Hence the signature was made without approval and the only way I can see to remedy this is to have an Memorandum of Understanding signed between the contractor and the ownership of the building in which the work is to be done.  I am so tired of arguing over things that should be self evident. 
Things were said that I consider to be downright lies.  So I threw off a letter saying my thoughts and agreed to say the same to the President that did the signing.  I said I stood by the things I wrote on Tuesday (crafted Monday night to Tuesday early before sunrise when I know I was so sick I could not attend a meeting at Noon) outlining what we had repeatedly asked for and asked to have in the form of a contract for us to sign.  I had said I would be not at my apartment to receive calls and would be helping with the Holiday Meals stuff, so the people call my apartment anyway.  I am so  tired.  I feel so much like the cover of this book by Walt Kelly that was first used as an Earth Day cartoon in 1970 and later summed up in this phrase; "We have met the enemy, and they is us".  This is also Good Friday services and I take the last of the Antibiotics tomorrow and hope the sickness does not come back. As I get older it seems to be that when medications end I often get the problems again.  I was asked to read, once again an honor and our Western Rite service had much the same elements as the Eastern Rite service.  I did not go to St. George afterwards, just walked back to the apartment thinking and stopping in at the Pharmacy for an order of drugs they said the had for me (automatic orders) and at H and R Block to ask about taxes. Apparently the laws have changed regarding social security and I just miss needing to file a return.   I thought all the time about what a price Christ paid for us and how much I have let Him down. How much I have not doe what I should have.  I tried t sleep by 8:30 or 9PM but was back up at the computer to write these few things at 10:30PM, fake time (EDT).  I am so discouraged.  I am not certain I have done much of anything "right" after I was diagnosed as having epilepsy in 1958.  This is over 57 years.  Almost 60 years of being a complete failure.  I kept thinking of this and could not sleep.  I would try and remember and pray for the women I have loved, but the doctors said I should not date because I might like her and she might want to marry me and if we did that we might want to have a child and in doing so we would be weakening the gene pool and I would be responsible for degrading humanity.  Much to swallow wen you are near 14 years old.  This same thought came along from various doctors through my 20's and 30''s.  It was the same sort of eugenics we had hatched in the USA and exported to Germany in the 1930's.  I have tried to forget some girls names, but I remember some of their faces and pray God will bless them.  Especially I think of Grace, and Mary,  and another Mary, and Ann-Marie, and the list goes one.  Each one I have given "a room" in my heart to and she only has the key.  It is always her space for as long as I draw breath.  I have loved maybe hundreds of women but only flirted with sex a few times and each time it was a lot of effort with no really satisfying results.  I fee the same about eating and meals and going to restaurants, a lot of effort for no tangible results.  I eat because I have to and the body says "give me fuel" and not for any great pleasure.  I like the idea of eating in silence with someone reading scripture or something like that and then leaving after 10 to 20 minutes to go about our daily events.  Sometimes I have ate and spent some time doing so, but not enjoying the food, but rather enjoying the LOVE that came from God as He provided this food for me.  I am much happier if someone is about to throw food away and they give it to me instead of buying it for me.  In all cases, God provides and I have the best joys when I recognize what I have comes from His hand.  But I have failed God so much. I have failed at being a force for good in this building I have lived in so long. I have failed at making a positive impact on this community and the western part of this state and on the region and nation as a whole. I have failed at being a "pastor" and at helping in churches.  I have failed at academics and at heading clubs and organizations.  I have failed at communicating things and at finding people to help rehab 60 Byers Street and also 257 Central Street.  My main concern I guess should be to get all my belongings up to a shed in some land I own so that when I die all my belongings can be burned up and the last trace of this sorry existence that has been me can be destroyed by the fire department as an "exercise" to help train their men in fighting fires.  Maybe in wiping away all trace that I existed some good will be done.  But I have hurt so many for so long and have failed so many that had depended on me.  I really enjoy hearing of others plans and cheering them on to success. BUT maybe, should I be alive by 2020, I should be doing that only on the internet, assuming that still exists, or by postal service and not having anyone have to look at or hear me.   Somehow that seems so appropriate given the total waste and uselessness I have seemingly become.
13 April, AD 2017
A meeting at 1PM at Friends of the Homeless, if I am well enough to do so.  Also help Bob with getting things in order for the Holiday Meal Sunday.  Holy Thursday services with "foot washing" if I am well enough to go.  Bob called at 8AM and if I do not help him at 1PM go and get the cookies that he has to get today and has to be in Holyoke at 2PM, then he will have to pull a young man out of High School to help him.  Open Pantry seems to give NO help for this event these days and they used to provide a driver and at least one helper. The event means weeks of going various places and providing things so a host of people can assist to make the meal for the 600 to 900 that we serve. Then on that day in addition to those who come to Commerce High School we have volunteer drivers who take meals out to "shut in" people. After Sunday's meal there will be a few more days of cleaning up and then putting excess goods in storage that Bob provides as it can not be stored at the school any more and Open Pantry has not place to store them.  It is a huge operation and much lesser people would have given up on it long ago.  We have less help this year for it as some of our main people have to be elsewhere.  I wonder if the Holiday Meals have run their course of usefulness.  Most of the folks I see now are on a lot of programs and are eating really well.  Also the culture of eating a meal with family and friends at Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter is not as prevalent as it was many, many years ago.  All I know is I see my friend getting so exhausted over this and the commitment by the sponsor, Open Pantry, seems to be almost non-existent this year.  Tonight I have been requested to be at the Church services at St. Stephen and I have agreed, so I will email the folks at the MassLandlords meeting that I just can not attend the meeting on codes and marijuana.  It was a nice service and I was honored to be asked to serve assisting the deacon at the altar as well as read the epistle lesson.  So honored, went to Bob's to sleep as he needed up to be up by 7AM, I think he was up at 6:30AM to leave and start getting the stuff for the Holiday Meal for the "needy and greedy" on Sunday.  I got to his place, did some things and was in bed before 9PM>
12 April, AD 2017
Bid on RFP for 60 Byers St due today and I have no ability to do anything. Oh how I wanted to rehab and live in this building. Helpless, useless, worthless, I guess these words now describe me.    I will go with Carol to St. Luke Greek Orthodox Church for Holy Wednesday evening services, if I am well enough to do so is what I wrote before. The Church serves, everything I went without. In bed much of the time but in the morning I wrote an item that was telling of my hopes and dreams for the Thurston Munson House and how I would divide sections of it so it could be used as one owner, or even rent out sections and having a dream of using the space with the "great hall" as a lecture space and the lower level as a restaurant and lounge.  It is a sort of "Scope of the Project" review.  I had to do something, I was so demoralized and feeling I could accomplish nothing since the funding source refused to sign for the funding of 257 Central Street.  I typed some more and corresponded with folks online, getting almost nowhere with the WWI Centennial event for the 27th or 28th at Apremont Triangle.  Then on the 29th there will be an event by the WWI Centennial Committee at Apremont Park in Westfield, MA.  When the 24 hours was up I went to the AQCA office, got there at 1:30PM, fake time.  Soon Betsy arrived and we went through files tossing out some old stuff (but it actually will not probably leave the waste basket until after we have conversed with other members and some more board members) and finding what we needed for this quarterly submission and  the one for the next quarter.  Betsy is doing these submissions that the President used to do because we all know she would be much better at it than I.  We left there after 3PM and I got to the Church service shortly after it started.  Carol was there as she had decided not to go to St. Luke Greek Orthodox Church for it in the evening but rather St. George in the afternoon.  So I came with her.  St. George has some of the services in the afternoon for folks that do not drive well at night.  After this I went back to the AQCA office and responded to our IT guys text and met with him.  We found some coding that needs to be changed in the php console and he will do that and make a back-up of it all on the server so I can try and have the A.Q.C.A. website updated by the 20th maybe and most certainly by the Board of Directors meeting for AQCA in May. I went back to St. George and got there towards the end of service.  It was the same service so I said hello to some people and walked to the bus station and took a bus back. So very tired. The so-called "bid" for 32 Byers Street windows was nothing but a nice letter. I am  so frustrated that people can't seem to just follow simple instructions, but have to "do it their way" and "muddy up the waters" and when that happens I balk, because in the past that has proceeding my being involved in a decision I wish I had not make in hindsight.  Only two days until a deadline set by one of the bidders  that seems to refuse to write into the contract safeguards they had agreed to.
11 April, AD 2017
2-6 AM. Can not breath well. Took out Garbage at 3AM, I try and stay in my room all I can so I am not near the guy that threatened to kill me last April, in fact it was a year to the day last Sunday.  Wrote this and by 6:15AM I will be back in bed again to see if I can get some rest. Then call the clinic at 8AM. I have a 9AM meeting, but have emailed them saying I might not be out of the clinic in time for the meeting.  Plan on resting.  We have a Building Committee meeting and a Property Management Committee meeting today at Noon and 1PM respectively, but I have sent comments in an email and am so sick I might not attend if the doctor has me go somewhere for tests, etc.  This was written in the early morning.  By 8AM I had contacted the clinic.  By 8:30 the Doctor "on call" had called me back and determined I needed to be seen and by 9AM I had an appointment for 9:50AM. Bob brought me there early at 9:25AM.  When I was seen they had to take some tests and wait for the results to see if I had strep throat or not, the throat was apparently greatly inflamed, I could only see it as raw with a lot of mucus when the "On Call" doctor had me take a flashlight and look down it at home.  By noon I was at the pharmacy awaiting the medication being put up.  Walgreens was able to dispense it extremely quickly and I was back at the apartment, taken the medication and in bed before 1PM.  I did not move from that spot for about 24 hours.  Cancelled items for today and everywhere for 24 hours.I had written a long email about how I had expected contracts for us to look and and vote on one and sign it by yesterday, but as of today nothing has come that I know of.  I am so sick and will not look at the email for a few days, just get well.  I typed this entry "after the fact" to sort of "fill people in" on what has happened and my feelings and frustrations.
10 April, AD 2017
Tried to work again on the eblast for AQCA that should have gone out Friday night.  I seem to be getting nothing done.  Bob called and I spent from 11 to 4 with him bringing items around to people to have them so they can prepare things for the Easter Holiday Meal.  This will happen almost every day, then the meal Sunday and then we clean up for a week or so.  I felt like I had somehow gotten an allergic reaction to something I lifted this afternoon.  Got to St. George Greek Orthodox Church for Holy Monday and then back with a ride from Stravola.   By 9PM I am very sick and my throat swelling up. Must contact clinic in the morning.
09 April, AD 2017
Church and then back to the apartment with Steffi. She had come and picked me up . I went to bed, feeling very, very tired.  Awoke late and rushed down to meet Carol at St. George for the Holy Palm Sunday beginning of Holy Week.

08 April, AD 2017
Order of St. Benedict had a special event and I had wanted to be part of the Walking Tour with Ben Murphy, but instead I went to the Church event and I had invited Ray to come.  He showed up before me as I overslept.  WE cleaned up some and found missals for Palm Sunday and the blessing of the palms.  We helped a little to clean up and the Antiochian women will do the same next Saturday.  Then I bicycled back intending to go to the apartment but first to Bob's,  I used the toilet there and he had me go with him to Lowes and I got stuff there I hope will work and then back to the apartment while he solicited donations from the folks at the Golden Corral for helping veterans in need.
07 April, AD 2017
Last day for 11th Annual Civil Rights and Fair Housing Conference. Was to get over at 3PM so when it finished I thought that was what the time was.  Nope they had gone an additional 30 min. so when I got to the apartment I was late for a ride from a friend to Westfield, MA.  I took the buses and just missed the connection and so wait an hour and took the next on to Westfield and walked to St. John's Lutheran Church where I had that meal with my friend, Ray Pauley, that he had invited me to.  I had a great ride over and talked with a really nice and inquisitive girl that hopes to go to college. Then we came back on the bus and I got to the apartment and sort of collapsed.
06 April, AD 2017
At the Civil Rights and Fair Housing conference all day today and back late in the evening.  I had waited by was at the wrong bus stop to get up to the community policing meeting, so I missed that one. Went back and watched the movie "13" and found out over 92% of the people we have in jails are there because of a "plea bargain" and not because they were convicted of any crime.  In most cases the movie indicated if they had gone to trial they would have been acquitted.  It also indicated that if people that had been slaves and were "freed" after the civil war, committed a crime, they could be sort of enslaved again. So for petty or unsubstantiated crimes many a black youth was re-enslaved to provide free labor for the local governments. At a workshop we learned that Springfield Massachusetts is the most heavily segregated city in the NATION.  So much more work to do here.
05 April, AD 2017
I had stayed at Bob's house last night and did the trash for him. Then up and take the container back and and go to 95 Alden Street for the press conference about the Revitalize CDC work to be done April 29th on this building and a whole lot more on that block.  I get back by Noon and by 1PM am working on the flyers and agenda for the AQCA board of directors meeting at 4PM.  I was late getting back from that.
04 April, AD 2017
Bob picked me up and we went to Greenfield to talk with Greenfield Glass about windows, assurances were given and a written document should follow by next week.  Then I go to a counselor and back to the apartment and bed.
03 April, AD 2017
Up to Springfield Lodge and Agawam Encampment and am picked up for it at 12:30AM.  About 1:15PM I was asked to go down with the inspector for he insurance company, checking the natural gas installation.  They found something and called Columbia Gas of Massacusetts. They found a leak and the gas company swung into action to fix it.  After the meetings and some light refreshments (it was my turn to bring them this time so I brought cookies) most folks left but as Vice Grand (like a Vice President) I stayed with our past Grand Master and his wife while the gas people worked. They had to cup up and dig down in the street. Dig Safe was called and the utilities people marked where all lines were.  We all watched a bit from near the sidewalk.  They had to dig so deep to get to the gas line a metal box had to be brought in so the dirt did not cave in on the worker.  The lines going in were reinstalled with a smaller gas plastic sleeve that will not interact with the concrete and corrode as the metal pipe had done.  Some of us thought we had smelled gas but others just thought it was a musty smell from when water had gotten into where we had degree vestments stored. Finally a new gas meter was installed outside the building and the gas turned back on for the furnace and stoves, etc.  At about 8PM we finally got to lock the doors and the work men would be at it for hours still putting the dirt back in and making the ground OK again.  I assume other workmen came in a day or two to put new blacktop on the road and cement on the sidewalk.  So many trucks and vehicles and workmen doing such a professional job, I was so thoroughly impressed with all the good work and how in less than 7 hours after being "discovered" and verified, the gas leak was fixed and all was safe again. Thank God for these workers.
02 April, AD 2017
Church, but I am so very sick today.

01 April, AD 2017
April Fools day, put something up on the internet.  60 Byers Street RFP is at 2PM on the 12th now, and I have no finances or associations to make a bid. Feel very sick inside.  Hopeless, useless, what can I do, nothing!

APRIL Begins

31 March, AD 2017
Classes everything cancelled because of the snow storm that did not do much down here in the Southern part of the Pioneer Valley.  I did some things but mostly rested and "goofed off" in my room. Not safe to go outside with others.
30 March, AD 2017
Stuff in the morning and then an evening time at the Basketball Hall of Fame with the District Attorney with a program called "stop the swerve" where I learn using a telephone while driving is like drinking 4 drinks before driving a car.  Sobering event.  I am crying and shaking part of the time during the moving.  So may young people killed each day because of "distractions" while driving.  Wish my friend had gone to this.
29 March, AD 2017
I do some stuff an then up to a "Quick Books" training given by the Small Business Administration and I am once again reminded of how little I know about things.  No job, no worth, that is seemingly how it is now.
28 March, AD 2017
Nothing much in the morning and then to a training in the computer lab at the Central Library on Foundations.  Asked Bob about his trash and did not need to go over there and do that, so stayed inside for the evening.
27 March, AD 2017
32 Byers Street, Inc. board meeting and an agreement in principle to go with "national vinyl for windows for the Rainville.    Bob is insistent I count the windows as he thinks there are more than in the bid, start to take pictures of them.  Do not feel well and waste most of the day.  Do the board minutes and then nothing much else.  I feel cold.
26 March, AD 2017
Sunday Church and then back to apartment. Prepare for 32 Byers Street, Inc. board meeting.  Once again a review of the past week with nothing to show for it all.  I seem to be so useless and valueless and just plain worthless.

25 March, AD 2017
Grand Encampment of Massachusetts, be here by 8:30AM and the session starts at 9:30AM, I go off as Trustee this year.  I would like to go "through the chairs" but many think I can no do the job as I do not have transportation.  Then I hope to hitch a ride to Gordon Conwell for the Diary of Perpetua that Steffi is in.
24 March, AD 2017
Stuff in the morning and Bob does not show up to take us to 101 Wasson Ave. class on dealing with chronic disabilities or diseases.  So I had to get there late and take the bus.  Got back, got stuff ready and then was picked up to go to the Grand Encampment Banquet. Brought my old clothing and the tux to change into. Often I am asked to do stuff, but not much tonight.
23 March, AD 2017
Tried to make some things so I can do measurements, and brought the tools.  Tried to recharge camera batteries.  Others their that want to turn the building into a condo.  So discouraged, the heart and soul seem to be missing.  Then to the central library fora class in seeking funding from Companies and Foundations.  Will I ever learn  how to do anything right, might be doubtful.
22 March, AD 2017
Bob takes me to Westfield University for the addiction and recovery symposium.  Met folks I like there, then messed up on buses back. Got to 3300 Main Street late as I missed a bus.  Then back to apartment.  Refused to let Bob pick me up and eat at his place and stay the night.  Have to do things here for the 60 Byers Street, walk-through.  So depressed, feel I can't get much of anything done.  No hope for much.  Told counselor I see people genuinely appreciate or like me for some of the things I like to do, like celebrating others successes.  Bu I still seem to be a total failure about getting much of anything really done.
21 March, AD 2017
Co-Chair of the Alcohol working group for the Sop Access Coalition at 120 Maple Street, 305, at 10:30AM, then to apartment and back to Alderman Street for the Stop Access Coalition by bicycle and then to Bob's place. Put our trash and stay there the night.  Typed suggesed alterations of a NoHa letter to go to purveyors of alcohol saying we are going to be testing if their employees are "carding" people. Then tried to get to sleep, noise from the TV almost all night long.
20 March, AD 2017
Not much, a lodge meeting at 12:30PM, someone picks me up then, the Lodge meetings start at 1PM. We then clean getting ready for the Grand Encampment of Massachusetts at our lodge this Friday.
19 March, AD 2017
Church and then back to apartment and do not good.  Frozen sort of, feel anything I co is wrong.  The sins seems so strong.  Hell seems appropriate at I thoroughly hate myself. 

18 March, AD 2017
Order of St. Benedict and thoughts of Spring that officially begins Monday.  I want so much to work on things, but just can not seem to do so.   Am I really worthless?
17 March, AD 2017
Third Friday,  St Patrick's day and at 9AM I am at a month long course in healthy living put on by Commonwealth Care Alliance at 101 Wasson Ave.  I feel so powerless to do much of anything or accomplish much of anything.  Maybe the journal of spiritual discovery will help.  I feel so old and useless when I need to call for help in subjects I have gotten letter grade A in.  Maybe I should just devalue my grades by at least one letter grade.  Maybe the community colleges were to lenient and I did not earn those grades.
16 March, AD 2017
If everything not brought over to Classical Condominiums for tonight's meeting it is done this morning and extra food obtained.  Building Committee meeting at Noon and then Property Management Committee meeting at 1PM. Probably through by about 3PM.  Then get agendas and such posted for AQCA meeting and get over to classical by 5:30PM.  AQCA meeting is at 7PM, and Christine Judd or someone from ROCA will come and speak about their program and someone from the Design Studio of the Master's program at the University of Massachusetts Dept. of Landscape Architecture and Regional Planning will come and say they are interested in input for designs around Apremont Triangle and that area in Springfield, I really enjoyed the efforts these Masters Degree candidates are making to help this be a better place to live and work in.
15 March, AD 2017
Tied to fix problems with web pages, things got put to the wrong places, might be two different hosting companies are actually one company with two brands. Will try and fix all of this and upload changes here. Then we go to get things at the AQCA office for the meeting tomorrow night.  Morning meeting in Holyoke is cancelled/postponed.
Temperature is dropping again it seems, harder keeping the temperature in the apartment above 68 without the furnace pumping heat to the room.
14 March, AD 2017
Storm today, snow started about 4:30AM.  Stayed in and tried to set up a website telling of my church related experiences.  Just frozen, can't do much in seeking funding for this project or the Thurston Munson house or much of anything else.  Do not feel I am worthy and feel I have done so much wrong and made so many bad decisions.
13 March, AD 2017
Was to be at a meeting with a senator but instead sent an email, I missed the bus to connect to get to East Longmeadow and could not bicycle there in time. Did bicycle to Bob's house to get leaves out so he could shovel. Big storm coming up and I just don't see why people have to go outside. Stay in and let the road crew clear the roads.  Finished the minutes for the Parish Council and did some email.  Feel very lazy, don't want to do much.  Did go out and hand out some posters and a good contact  with a property manager.
12 March, AD 2017
Church and then Parish Council and then back to apartment.   Did not do much but did start on minutes of Parish Council meeting.
11 March, AD 2017
Order of St. Benedict in the morning.  Afternoon the preparation for the Parish Council meeting tomorrow. Another month half gone and I have accomplished nothing good.  Had to ask AppleCare about a simple thing like installing an upgrad on my iMac.  So STUPID I seem to be. Going to bed. Sorry about the troubles I caused at Church this morning as they were making 200 sandwiches to donate to the Rescue Mission.  Seems like I cause trouble everywhere I go.
10 March, AD 2017
I was supposed to do what I could to get flyers around about the AQCA meeting and maybe read more about the things we should be submitting.  But this second Friday of the month has become a failure also  I just stayed in Thursday night wen I got back from the MassLandlords (RHAGS) meeting and stayed there through today and then into Saturday morning. Surfed the internet and did all sorts of bad things but got nothing really done.  I was supposed to have purchased the mail box for Church at the central Post Office before the day was out, but forgot all about it.  Must pay phone bill or at least the $70 half of it. DSL is so expensive now.  Start a revised "Scope of Project" for 257 Central to sort of "conclude" things even if funding is found it might not be a place I can live my life in.  Another Open House is at 10AM on Tuesday.  Must also form a foundation to operate this and other entities I have been a part of once I am gone. Once I am permanently "out of the picture" then most probably the project9s) can flourish and reach somewhere near their full potential.
09 March, AD 2017
I have been up since about 2 AM typing this stuff.  Must do something. Laying there knowing I have no value or worth is not conducive to sleep. It is now 6:30AM and I need to spend the next hour getting the report ready for my doctor and then getting up to the clinic at 11 Wilbraham Road by 8AM.  Then back here and contact some of he buildings where people live and hand out the flyers to put up for the AQCA meeting. Tonight the RHAGS chapter of the MassLandlords meeting and some valuable information about leases. Must contact Phil about funding sources for this project and wonder if it even can happen.  Please pray that God's will be done in all of this.
08 March, AD 2017
Got back from Bob's with a ride from him and then emailed the HP contact person.  He called back at 10AM or a little before that.  Then we were doing things with him taking over control of my computers for 4 hours. In the end the wireless aspects of the very expensive printer can not be used and I must connect via an RG45 cat5e cable. The software he insisted on putting on the computers is childish and gives NO ability to functionally scan anything in with any professional controls. He concludes the lengthy session pretty much telling me that this is the only way this can be set up.  I say this is not the way it should work.  But it looks like this is also my fault as I did not fully test everything when I got the printer and now the incompatibilities of the parts are my fault.  I should have done more research. I really should have given the grant money back as I did not accomplish anything I set out to do.  I, instead, became nothing but another failure at this project as well.  I am getting so tired of looking into the mirror and so absolutely HATE the image I see there and the incompetence of the person attached to it.  I went down to the banks and transferred money from one bank to another. Once again I had messed up and Social Security had sent all accounts to one bank. Why is it I can not get something as simple as this done right?  Went to the AQCA office and piddled around a bit and called Steve, the IT fellow we hire to help me.  I got the old printer to work and we set up the new printer and put the old fax printer aside as a dedicated fax machine only.  He got the telephone working and I tried to do an inventory of the snacks we have stored for the meeting next Thursday at Classical Condominiums.  I messed up so much and had to have the people let me in because I can not seem to get my hand and codes right in the electronic door system. Then I goofed again as I guess we were supposed to be somewhere else and I did not remember it so I did not get to the right spot for the weekly Men's Group for Church.  Then back to the apartment and straight to the room and undress for bed.  Got a call from a friend. Then another call from another friend.  He asked why I went to college.  He said I knew so much I could do nothing.  And reminded me of how useless I was in that I can not get hired to do anything.  I thought a lot about that call and how much it is my fault that the $2,000 grant I got was spent on items that do not work.  I need to be seeing people and doing things tomorrow but will in all probability only get to the doctors, do nothing much else, and then go to the RHAGS chapter of MassLandlords meeting.  I need to pay those dues as well and nee to clean up in the apartment.  Much is a failure and it looks like I can accomplish nothing.  Over and over my friends will tell me I am "full of shit" and that I can not reason things correctly.  As I look back the the past the first 17 years were not so bad and until I got epilepsy in High School I did some things and even then accomplished much including Graduation and then attempting the Famous Artists Schools correspondence course from 1962-1965. Dad said I took to long to do it and did not do it well enough.  But after that things started to go down hill.  Berkshire Community College was from 1966 to 1972 and I only got two degrees.  I was on government programs and basically being "taken care of" as I could not seem to be able to get a job and support myself.  In 1972 I sort of "fell into" a job at the New Boston Congregational Church leading the worship services and staying at a person's home. That ended and I came back to help take care of my Uncle and then my Dad, which I did not do  well. By 1996 I had floated from place after my father died and became homeless and even when the folks in Springfield got me a job as a morning clean up person I lost that job.  So they arraigned to have me enter the Massachusetts Career Development Institute and I got a job after completing studies there only to be let go from that job also.  Then a job in Boston that I was let go of after a few months. Then back in Springfield and finally college to keep me off the streets.  Within a year of moving to the single room occupancy I was at the college and was still there in 2013 when a lot of things seemed to be crumbling around me. The accident in 2009 was getting better and then in 2013 things started going down hill. By the fall of r 2016 I was told the nerves were degenerating and it would only get worse.  I have bought books and taken classes and gone to meetings, as I told my friend, to not focus on the fact I can not accomplish anything right and to give me the delusional feeling that I might be contributing to the sum good somehow, by attending these many meetings. The truth is that these meetings tolerate me as the know it is just "killing time" and the meetings are a way of "keeping me off the streets" so to speak.  So this day ends with the full realization that I can accomplish nothing, none of the skills I have tried to learn dose anyone have a value for, and I am pretty much a sore festering on the skin of mankind and maybe the best thing to do is to put all my belongings in the barn at the family property in New Marlborough and when I die the fire department can burn it all up and the memory that I even existed will pretty much be erased and society can move forward to forget the sorry and useless chapter that was my life here.  Not a pleasant thought, but probably is reality.
07 March, AD 2017
Dis some things on the computer and ended up missing bus connections to Amherst due to my not reading the schedules correctly.  What is it with me?  I can't even read a bus schedule?  Got up to UMass just in time to fiind my way to the room for the presentations that began at 1PM.  Was there representing AQCA so was asked to ask any questions I thought might be helpful as the students explore ways to make the Apremont Triangle and the surrounding neighborhood a better place to live in.  I really liked the work done and some of the innovative ideas.  I was warmly greeted by the gal who invited me up to see her presentation and have agreed to keep in touch with her.  I got a ride back with a city person and we talked about my efforts to find funding for this project since my original funders backed out. It is pretty well agreed the only way we can get this done is through non-commercial funding as the commercial lenders will not touch this sort of a project that is trying to save history and not something that is done to "make money" only.  I feel so discouraged and hence I do much to nothing.  I fail more than not. Got back by bus to Bob's and helped with the garbage and stayed the night. Apparently it is all my fault that he did not water his plants and they died.  Just accept it, everything is my fault.
06 March, AD 2017
Some computer stuff and then I am picked up to go to Lodge.  People think I can not get there myself.  So I am picked up as it will be easier for some to meet at noontime this month. We have the Springfield Lodge meeting after the Agawam Encampment meeting, both Independent Order of Odd Fellows meetings. We heard of a fund raiser for the Oddfellows Home in Worcester I want to go to as I know the honoree personally.  We get back and I start on doing the minutes for the encampment but don't get to far.  Do garbage. This apartment is a dump. I can not even keep this small room clean and get nothing else done.  I must work on the code enforcement issues but I fear I just can not do anything well at all. To bed as I must get going early tomorrow.
05 March, AD 2017
Sunday Morning. Awoke with a little time before bathing and Church and went to look at the files on 257 Central on the flash drive I saved them on.  Only to find the contents of the folder, including all that was on this website have been erased, they are all gone. All the work I did for two years, all the documents created, averaging one every two days, and sometimes up to 8 a day, are all gone.  All the images, all the plans, all the communications, all the estimates, every bit of work I did is now as if it never happened at all.   The devil, the forces of evil, misfortune, whatever you want to call it, seems to be "at me" a lot lately.  I tend to question the value of my own existence.  One of the reasons I wanted to obtain this house to partially be away from others and to have a kitten, a cat, a companion, someone who welcomed me home and was glade I came back (if only because I provided the daily food) and now and then would be near me and purr and sort of indicate that someone or something liked to have me around.  I will now bath and go to church, but all that proves I ever dreamed of this is gone.  I was able to make space on that flash drive and download what I wrote here, but all other "evidence" is now gone.  The devastation I feel in the "pit of my stomach" is without my ability to put in words.
I do ask you to please pray for me and that I know "God's will" for this life I live, "so a child of two could understand", thanks.
Back to the apartment not much doing, just being here and contemplating how I can not get much of anything accomplished, looking at the videos on the computer helps. I really must be looking at the many books I bought on CSS (Cascading Style Sheets) but really what is the sense of it all if I can not get hired or can't accomplish much.  I guess I need to continue to read the book I started on aging and try to figure out if I can contribute anything positive to humanity or if I am just a leach on society with no net gain and am only a burden. I would hope that I could find some way to do some good.  BUT I fear only death will stop this series of wrong decisions and inappropriate responses and initiatives that seem to be my life, a burden to all mankind.
04 March, AD 2017
The last 21 days or so I have been in deep doubt as to my ability to accomplish much of anything and the computers have failed.  Nothing seems to be working right and my apartment has been allowed to become a mess.  I am seriously wondering if I can accomplish anything for the good any more.  Very very discouraged. Trying to revise a sheet to record my daily hours so it is for week.  I have an idea of  putting it on one page, maybe it will be weekly hours but only viewed as a month.  Have not got it "down" "in my head" as yet. I seem to be so incompetent.  In writing this I did find an interesting home landscape plan online from Iowa state university extension service.  I find lots of things interesting and often watch You Tube videos for hours.  I did get to the Order of St. Benedict meeting this morning and then back to apartment.  Steffi Crivelli brought me and my apple iMac and printer bought with a grant for a failed project last year to be checked out at the apple store. They had not gotten my registration so I had to wait an hour and I set up another appointment for Wednesday at 3:20PM.  I finally did get seen and after about 90 min of effort we got the computer to print. BUT I fear what will happen when we get back and I must soon change the DSL router/modem to the new one Verizon sent me that actually looks like a step backwards in technology.  I have very little confidence in my being able to accomplish much.  Here I am asking for help in fields I was trained in.  I guess I am a failure.
03 March, AD 2017
Do nothing much of any good.  Can't seem to accomplish much.  Sleep a lot. Almost in a zombie like state of affairs. Go up to Arise for Social Justice and meet with a student from UMass that is part of a "studio" project in a Masters course in Landscape Architecture and then escort her around Springfield Technical Community College and over to the Armoury and then back to STCC to the Landscape Design and Maintenance Dept. where she got to meet with Tom Smith, our Dept. Chair.  I talk to much.  It is the end of another week and nothing much accomplished.
02 March, AD 2017
Friends of the Homeless this morning is the location of the Individual Services Committee of the Network and somehow I messed up as I thought I was to be there at 9:30AM for a subcommittee meeting, but that did not happen.   After this meeting come back and do almost nothing.  Lots of re-evaluations, can see nothing much of value in my life right now.  I did not go to Bob's to help with his garbage, just back to apartment and the internet to try and not focus on my own shortfallings and worthlessness.
01 March, AD 2017
Leadership Council of the Western Massachusetts  Regional Network to End Homelessness meets at the TD Bank conference room this morning.  As of this date there is only about $1,500 left to carry on this work.  I give a gift of 1% of my income and pledge to do the same monthly.  Most people there say that they can not do the same. I find this interesting because I am under the impression that most of the people in attendance are being paid a salary for being there, it is a part of their job.   I get back tot he apartment and have another call at 2PM and then to the AQCA office conference table for the Armoury Quadrangle Civic Association's board meeting.  I am not doing this well.  Only got the speaker confirmed just as the meeting was getting started because of the good work of Jane Devlin in getting me correct information, I was making the wrong calls it seems.  But I should have had the flyers made up already, yet I have not.  The meeting was over with and I got on my bicycle and headed up to Church for Ash Wednesday services.  I got there to late for ashes but he service was so good.  I seems to be so lacking in so many qualities and it would have been so easy to just be there on time, but I was not.  Strong winds blowing against me, maybe Spring is coming after all.  Then back "home" to the apartment and to bed.  The SRO (Single Room Occupancy) is all I have known for at least 21 years and the family home fallen down and my friend put under some sort of a receivership and I can not seem to be employed nor have a relationship or even get myself an apartment where I can have a cat.  So much worthless about me and I have accomplished so very little in life. UGH !!!

March begins

28 February, AD 2017
Stop Access Coalition this afternoon. Puts together final stuff on 60 Byers and 257 project scope papers and Flyer and people to speak and such finalized by afternoon and maybe flyer produced by morning tomorrow for AQCA board meeting too hand out to folks to have put up for March 16th.  Leadership Council meeting has been rescheduled for tomorrow morning in Springfield, must find out where tonight and do more on projects plans.
27 February, AD 2017
32 Byers Street, Inc. board meeting and then up to Amherst for Installation of Amity Lodge officers, and do preparation for Stop Access Coalition meeting tomorrow at the C3 meeting spot in the south end and for the AQCA board of directors Wednesday.  Need to have speakers set and flyers printed by then.
26 February, AD 2017
Church, then over to Springfield Preservation Trust meeting and pay membership dues for the year.  Then to apartment and prepare for 32 Byers Street, Inc. Board of Directors meeting.  I am basically "hid away" until March.
 25 February, AD 20107
Order of St. Benedict and then prepare for Church and the Springfield Preservation Trust meeting on Maple Street after Church tomorrow afternoon.
24 February, AD 2017
Order of St Benedict is tomorrow, do things online this morning and last hand therapy appointment this afternoon then maybe to Bob's to stay the night.
23 February, AD 2017
Finish things in Berkshires and then get bus back to Springfield and apartment this afternoon, but will not speak with anyone until after I am back from the hand therapy, might be last one.  I am basically gone for the week and have a board meeting, and then being installed Mondak night.
22 February, AD 2017
Will need to go back Thursday night to get to Springfield by the hand therapy appointment Friday. Cancelled the one for Wednesday, today.
21 February, AD 2017
This morning my friend and I worked on things and we tried the newer Opera browser and it seems  to connect to the internet. Going shopping today.
20 February, AD 2017
Leave late for Berkshires but only get to destination an hour late, Steffi brings me right there and provides me with food, I feel so loved.  Still can not get on internet, it says it is connected but browser will not work.  Maybe people can help me up there so brought the lenovo with me.
19 February, AD 2017
Church, Parish Council and then Steffi takes me back to apartment.  Get ready to go to Berkshires this evening or tomorrow morning with Steffi as she and her children are going to visit her Mother in Troy, NY.  I have been wondering how Alice is.  We do not leave today, will tomorrow, so I do the minutes for the Parish Council and send them off for review.  Make a bootable flash drive for my friend to install Unbutu 16.4lts with on a new hard drive.
18 February, AD 2017
Order of St. Benedict and back to Bob's house afterwards as the tone of his voice seems to be that he wants me there in the afternoon.  Shoveled some and then helped him move a washing machine down cellar. He brings me back to apartment where I prepare for Parish Council Meeting Sunday and make plans to take a bus or somehow get to visit my friend in the Berkshires people are harassing and have threatened to kill.
17 February, AD 2017
Got to wait for that interview call and it was worth it, very nice lady.  Then a hand therapy appointment at ATI at 300 Bernie Ave and then to Bob's to do some stuff and be a short distance to the Church for Order  of St. Benedict in the morning. 
16 February, AD 2017
Bob called and said he would pick me up and take me to the Read-Aloud session at Boland School as he is going by that way.  I come back and then go to 3300 Main Street to speak with the counselor.  Then I come back and Bob calls and says he will take me to the restaurant where the R.H.A.G.S. chapter of MassLandlords is meeting tonight. Great meeting and I met Ron Cote there (he was Director of Property Management at Home City Housing in the past and I respect his wisdom on these matters).  Ron and I discussed a recent interpretation of 105CMR410.480 C by some city inspectors as related to me by a property manager Wednesday by email and he agreed that is not what the law says. The regulation only says that the front or common door must snap lock when it closes.  Got a ride back to the apartment from a fellow that used to live with us in the building.
15 February, AD 2017
Bob takes me to HAP for re-certification information and then to an Unaccompanied Youth meeting at School Street (part of the network to end homelessness) and then back to the apartment to wait for an interview phone call.  At 2PM off to ATI and hand Therapy, then back to apartment and then to Men's Group at the Hot Table, this is a Church function. I go back to Apartment after this and rest.
14 February, AD 2017
This is the day the bids are opened for 60 Byers Street 2pm.  I have no hope on this right now.  Went to Building Committee and Property Management meetings.  Met with Earl of RLC for a minute or two.  The found out in an email the RFP bid date is delayed until April.  What a nice Valentines day card.  BUT the internet on my lenovo laptop is so messed up it says it is connected but I can not access the internet.  That night I go to the Maple/High/6Corners Neighborhood Council meeting where a project Home City Housing iss trying to do was presented, then I went to Bob's to do his trash an stay overnight. 
13 February, AD 2017
I went up to 60 Byers Street to pray about 24 hours before the bids were to open. Found out someone had broken in and smashed a window to get in. Spent about an hour calling until I found someone to come and board it up again. Then tried to update this website and somehow lost everything. Will try and remember some of what I said, so discouraged.  Thanks for praying for me.
12 February, AD 2017
Church and back home before the storm.  Feel a little better but still pretty discouraged. Will work on some things.

01-11 February, AD 2017
I could not do much. Except for meetings and such I had to go to I stayed in my room.  I felt so depressed and worthless.  Then I started to work on plans and such before the 60 Byers Street opening of bids February 14th at 2PM. I had no hope but wanted to work on something.   About the 8th of February I went to the Historic Museum and got some more information about Thruston Munson.  Before that Tasya Ward had calle and asked if she could give my telephone number to a classmate of ours, Phil.  I did and Phil wonders if we still can not get funding for 257 Central  Street. I talked of 60 Byers Street as well.  So Phil whats some information on my envisioned scope of the projects.  In my research on Thurston Munson I found out he apparently has believed as I have that regular people could do most of the work in "decorating" a house, painting walls, wallpapering, sanding floors, etc. after the "professionals" have put in the wiring, plumbing, etc. Some of what I found is in this newspaper article about him and 60 Byers St. So I felt a little better by the 12th.
February begins

I felt so very bad and tried to "heal" myself by following instructions from "professional" behavioral experts.

Unless something miraculous happens, this project is dead,
and with it my hopes for "redeeming" myself.

31 January, AD 2017
Last day to get things into city hall and ask for time, if they approve, to buy house at 257 Central.  I sort of understand how things work but I am not certain some of the contractors do.  They think they have until today to get estimates in.  I see it as estimates AND house purchase.  The purchase could take 3-6 weeks before lawyers have things ready for signatures.  Often I wonder if I should be doing any of this.  But I feel compelled to at least attempt it.  Tomorrow is February.  Today it all ended. At abut 3:45 to 4:15 the financial backers, backed out. The project came to a hault. I had received the contract and the to be built plans from my Architect and I thought all was a green light. BUT it all vanished before me. The year has ended.  The project has ended. I am so depressed.  Please pray for me.
30 January, AD 2017
Do minutes from Annual Meeting and prepare for Green Committee meeting at city hall tomorrow.  Make certain estimates are at city hall as I understand I can not even buy or clean up or anything at 257 Central until they approve stuff.  So anxious.  I have only one more day left unless another "extension" is given.
29 January, AD 2017
Church and then Annual Meeting.  Please pray for us as we really messed up the meeting last time.  Want there to be transparency.
28 January, AD 2017
Must be back here by noon, preferably by 9AM for Order of St. Benedict.  AT 1pm or so Steffi and I and maybe others leave for Diocesan meeting.
27 January, AD 2017
Plan on being in DC for the March for life.  I know it is not Politically Correct, I believe abortions should only happen in cases like rape. Then back.
26 January, AD 2017
Get things ready and documents about bowel movement for Dr. Plumber, also list and tell of pains in extremities, cold feelings, etc.  Then called and made solid arraignments to get to DC and back. Will catch a bus ride out of Chicopee on the bus there at St. Stanislaus Roman Catholic Parish at 534 Front Street and get back to the same spot about 2 AM Saturday.  So happy I can go after over 15 years of not being able to because of commitments at the college I was attending and then working at and then attending.  So leaving the apartment by before 7PM.  Architect Bill Miller is meeting with the Building Department Friday.  Please continue to pray for me and for this Project and that I know clearly what God wants and be willing to move forward and trust Him to provide the ways.  I gather that every minute and a half a baby's life is ended by abortion.  Those statistics are down from what they were before.  Like the statistics for the number of Christians killed by Muslims are down, now it is one every 6 minutes and before it was one Christian killed every 5 minutes. Thanks for Praying for the little babies of this world, the future leaders and inventors and discovers of cures for all sorts of diseases, if we don't kill them first.
25 January, AD 2017
Prepare for 10AM "open house" at 60 Byers Street, take many images and maybe measurements.  Get to Northampton for 2PM meeting as to outreach to landlords regarding housing formerly homeless people.  Try to arrange before for ride up and back.  Point in Time count be at feeding place by 4PM to go out.
24 January, AD 2017
Finish 32 Byers Street Inc. minutes, do items for 257 Central for contractors, try to meet with Building Dept., then go to get new flash drive for tomorrow's images.
23 January, AD 2017
32 Byers Street, Inc. board of directors meeting at 1PM.  Some consideration of moving the date back to 12 noon.Move things to storage by midnight for inspection by HAP/HUD people sometime tomorrow.
22 January, AD 2017
Church, last announcements and details before the Annual Meeting should have been talked about, but there just was not time. I will talk with Deacon Michael and maybe email is how I will get them.  I went to Bob's to help him with something and he wanted me there by noon.  I got there by noon. At 1:30PM he was not there. I lay down and slept.  At 4PM or so I called, he is somewhere else watching a sports game on tv. AT 8:30PM he still had not arrived and at this point I can only go to Byers Street in the morning to prepare for32 Byers Street Inc. meeting that day.  Make agenda and then bring it to apartment to print.  Do rest of stuff to city hall if not there already on the estimates for 257 Central Street rehab sometime before the end of the week. Also get new flash card for camera for 60 Byers St. images. 
21 January, AD 2017
Spring is about only 60 days away!  Want to code something like that for one of my websites (for all the seasons).  Order of St. Benedict today and Church tomorrow.  I need to have all the things in to the city and if all estimates are not in my hand by now I need to "shake some trees" to get them there by Wednesday so I can have a report into the city by Thursday as I might leave fro DC that night.  The deadline is upon us.  I have not been to a March for Life in DC in at least a decade as I was at college and they wanted us in school that day, Spring classes started and I often was working at the bookstore.  Now, for my own peace of mind, I want to go.  Today I want to get so much done, but I did hardly anything. The computer hard drive seems to have crashed and everything was stored on it.  I will try to find some other solution.  I did update the CLAeast website through a chromebook.  I downloaded and uploaded the file. Not ideal, but the job was done.  I had planned on backing up everything about St. Valentine's Day.  So much for that now.  Steffi and I talked after Church about some things
20 January, AD 2017
This is traditionally the coldest day of winter. I want to have everything I do not need out of the apartment, especially those things that are summer related.  I did not go to Bob's house to stay the night but stayed at Byers St., so tired.  Do want to make some arraignments to be at the Right to Life March in D.C. next Friday. With events starting last night; today is the official presidential swearing in and such.  I do miss D.C., as I enjoyed my time as an intern there and think I tired to do good work for our country.
19 January, AD 2017
Boland School Read Aloud program in the morning was great. Emotional story (The Memory Coat) but great.  Then back to do some things and print stuff and be at 122 Chestnut Street, Hillman Entrance, for the Amory, Quadrangle, Civic Association meeting with the C3 initiative and the Sector E Community Policing people.  So much different now that Kathy Brown has retired.  The program was fine, I messed up a bit and the elections were held, I am an officer again.
18 January, AD 2017
No Amity Lodge meeting, probably in February.  Today I get to 257 and took pictures as 4 other people came to look and make estimates for the city.  I guess I was wrong before, the metal kitchen cabinets are there and that means I will not need to hang others. Much to do, deadline is upon us for estimates to the city.  Need to read the story at the central library I will be reading to the children tomorrow.  I hope to pack up and bring to storage all summer etc. stuff by this weekend or at least Monday night, inspection is Tuesday from 9AM to 5PM.  Also need, by midnight, to have agenda and order of business and other handouts read for A.Q.C.A. meeting tomorrow.
17 January, AD 2017
Must call Mike Cass about getting into 257 Central Street.  Today or Tomorrow, I hope it is more like tomorrow.  I have a building committee meeting at "The Rainville" at noon and for one reason or another this has not happened in two months, going on three.  So I really need to focus on that and prepare for the reading at Boland School.  Contact people about things that were to arrive for 32 Byers Street and where are they.  Finish all plans and accountability pages for 257 Central St. project.
16 January, AD 2017
Martin Luther King day today and I am pretty much staying inside.  Saw a moon phase calendar for this year that I liked and tried to make the same with just the days of the week using the letter "R" for ThuRsday.  An image of it is below and you can click on it to get the PDF of this file. I did it to have a hand sheet I can put lout at any point to find out what day of the week a certain day will be this year. Also the bold Arial font "S" indicates Sunday so you know when each week starts.  I am very tired as others have said they were also, might go back to bed even though I have much work to do an need to print an post flyers for the AQCA meeting Thursday.

calendar image.day of week and moons for 2017
15 January, AD 2017
Church and parish Council Budget Meeting. Then Deacon Michael brought me to the apartment.  I tried to do some things and then called Steffi as I was worried. She said she "was done" and I gathered she had been sick and was trying to eat and rest and get better by Tuesday. We have Martin Luther King day tomorrow. I was at the computer but doing nothing really productive.  A friend called and I need to visit him soon.  Five more days and the coldest day of winter will usually have passed.  With the extremely high heat in the hallways at this building and the heat seeping in under the door, my main room has hovered around 70 degrees, F. and so I have not as yet had to turn the heat on.  I made a chart to record the days and hours I had the heat turned on and Steffi helped me put two layers of 6 mill plastic on the windows and some foam insulation in windows I do not look out of. The result is that it is, according to NOAA,  26 degrees Fahrenheit outside with a wind chill of the same and yet by my door and computer the temperature is 71.9 Degrees, Fahrenheit and closer to the window it is 69.2 Degrees Fahrenheit. Hence I have yet to turn the heat on this heating season.  Adjusting to a temperature between 66 and 73 instead of between 73 and 84 seems to have been much better for me this year so far.  It is winter time so I wear sweaters and sweat shirts.  This is not Puerto Rico where the temperature now is 81 and feels like 83 degrees Fahrenheit.
14 January, AD 2017
Saturday and I walked up to the Order of St. Benedict and gave a dozen boxes of English Muffins (Whole Wheat) Bob had.  He had said he wanted to give out much and they might reject them as whole wheat tastes a bit different, but at least I am making the effort. After this I was brought back to the apartment and I did almost nothing but rest and such. Got things ready for the Budge Meeting of the Parish Council. Finally to bed after bathing.
13 January, AD 2017
Moved the things at the lodge and storage and then brought tubs to Bob's house to pack my things there.  Need to get all summer clothing packed away. Did not get a reply back from Dave Gaby as he did not see my email. So we will try and get into 257 Central on Tues. or better Weds. of next week with his carpenter person.  Bob brought me up to the retirement party for Kathy Brown as he had to be at another event.  A friend from college insisted on paying my way in and we had a good time together. Neither of us are good at being smooth at interpersonal relationships, but my heart has "sung" each time I have done thing with her. We spoke fondly, as she drove me back to Bob's place, of the time we all worked together with Phi Theta Kappa and college mentors to pain buildings at the Forrest Park Zoo for them.   People are wanting me to allow someone else to rehab the house and then sell it back to me.  I really do not want to do that.  I want to rehab it the way I want it done, while staying within code, and allowing for the decoration, such as painting, wallpapering, floor sanding and finish, and such to be done over time.  This is how I envision S.C.A.R.F. to work. Not that everything is done for people and they help with their sweat equity, but rather that ONLY the things we need skilled professionals done by code and law are accomplished to a level of a certificate of occupancy.  From that point on we work with the people to have them gain the skills to do the rest of the work by themselves.  That way they rebuild their shattered lives.  If we were going to just have others do most of the work there would be no reason for our existence as Habitat for Humanity already does that sort of work.  We are to help people rebuild their lives and the tool being used is the rebuilding or restoring of an abandoned or neglected building so it is THEIR home.   I left so discouraged that I am not able to communicate these concepts well.  Maybe again I am the wrong person to promote this type of concept or that this is just a stupid idea.  I have very little self importance these days.  I sent a long email about how some of my people in my building are seeming to be failing and was told I should not tell my personal information as others might thing negatively or not highly of me.   I  can not accept that "wisdom" and deny completely that one must present themselves as strong or in other positive ways in order to get things done.  If I am wrong, then I do not want to exist in that sort of a society.  But if I am right, which I think I am, the Christian community has always talked of "confessing" things "one to another" and in sharing my feelings of weakness and inability to accomplish something I am being truthful.  I someone does not tell me they are having trouble formatting something in a word processing program, I have no idea they need help.  That is a field I learned a bit in and often I can accomplish things in a few moment that people ahve taken hours struggling with so far. It was the many college classes, I know a little bit about that subject.  The same is true with me.  If you do not know I am struggling, how will you know I need help.  If you do not know the goal I am trying to reach, how can you guide me there or offer any other suggestions?  I need help if this thing is every going to happen.  If this does not "get off the ground" by the end of this fiscal year, then it is probably time for me to publish the book about it, walk away, and accept I was not good enough for this task.
12 January, AD 2017
Tried to finish the moving of things at storage but was just to tired to move. At computer but nothing done but to bed and rest a few times in the day. I took the bus to Chicopee for the MassLandlords meeting and Steffi came by after work and brought me home after we did errands. She was so tired and yet getting things for a special day at the school Friday.  I am so discouraged, so many things want to be done the way contractors want to do them and not the way I want them done.
11 January, AD 2017
Went to the Fort tonight after Men's Group (Church). Had spent most of the day moving stuff to another part of storage so workmen could work on things, will do more tomorrow. 
10 January, AD 2017
Other things and then be at 22 Ridgewood for the demolition of the building I wanted to save.  Tonight is Maple, High, Six Corners Neighborhood council meeting.
Masslive today reported the city council voted 12-0 to help historic buildings be rehapped, and they used the image for 257 Central Street.
09 January, AD 2017
Not much work done, called clinic, hand hurts something bad.  They can't see me until the 27th.  Fingers so cold.  I fear I have done so much wrong. Learned today that I need to do financial information for housing, this will make the 6th time someone has wanted this.  About every 2-3 months. Tried to sleep in daytime and it was so cold on the nice soft rug.  Sent More emails about the AQCA meeting trying to confirm that police representatives will be there.  Found out building I had hoped to remodel and have a high class premium restaurant and luxury apartments, with meals, will instead be demolished.  When a building is going to be torn down all the water and sewer and gas and electric services are removed and extra items around it.  I think the city expected to tear down 257 Central, but I am still fighting to try and save this little home.  Tonight I will make a chart for recording the days and hours the heat was turned on and the temperature inside and out at daytime and night.  I have moved the sleeping onto the harder floor in the apartments main room and will sleep their tonight, at least 15 degrees warmer than bathroom.  So sad I will have to turn on the heat, but I don't want the water pipes to freeze.  I hate hot water heating systems, so hard to go away and just let them get cold.
08 January, AD 2017
Church, Steffi came and got me, then went back to be with Maya. Maya was not feeling good.  She did get to Church and I taped up a little of the plastic.  Had tried to sleep in the Bathroom on that nice warm rug. BUT it was getting cold.  Hands cold, tried to warm them up in a hot bath again.  Working on getting the Police to come to the Armory Quadgrangle Civic Association meeting on the 19th to tell of the C3 initiative and the Sector E policing. Emailed the officers tonight.

07 January, AD 2017
Order of St. Benedict in the morning, then finish more stuff for the city.  Must get  all this work done . Also box up stuff to go to storage. Steffi called, Maya had hit a tree the night before and they had been in the emergency room from 10PM to 4AM.  They were so tired and could not get to St. Benedict formation group.  Right hand cold and hurts. Did try and use very hot bath, helped a little. I think fingers were broken or messed up at joints in accident August 19th.
06 January, AD 2017
Finish a lot of stuff for AQCA, the 32 Byers Street, Inc. board minutes and check in on contractors estimates and such for city and start on model for 257 Central St. Also want to see if I can view the joint session of Congress as they count the electoral college's electoral votes for President and Vice President.  I hope to contact the contractors today and urge all estimates to be in within 10 days.  Rest of the day I hope to get the apartment in order and the smell from the fire dept. visit gone.
05 January, AD 2017
10 AM I need to be at Friends of the Homeless for a Western Mass. Network to End Homelessness individual services committee meeting.  Then I need to check on 122 Chestnut for our AQCA meeting for the 19th but it was to cold, I will try and call them tomorrow. I wanted to go to the Sector E Beat Team meeting or contact Officer Tyburski about having someone speak to us and get the "eblast" news ready to go out by Friday, but was delayed by a tenant and was busy working on items for the Historical Commission.  I walked as fast as I could to the Historic Commission an got there by 6:40PM.  My Architect was there so they took me second instead of first.  We presented that we hope to replace to narrow windows with more appropriate ones and try and fit the larger windows with wooden ones that can be obtained.  I am not happy with the idea that the vinyl windows would cost as much to place broken windows as new windows, at that rate I can see no reason for anyone to buy vinyl.  I do think vinyl windows need to be redesigned and I have an idea that may need to be patented to allow such windows to have the glass replaced economically. We did emphasize the desire to have the building look good from the street and that we would ditch the fake shutters. We also spoke of a possible garage in the future and that we would keep the fence around the property perimeter and bring the double gate area in a bit so a car or so could come in off of the road to park and then the gate so people who are visiting can come off the road before contacting me or a parcel delivery person. It is not safe to be at that top of the hill and not be off the road.  I am think of a way a sort of circle drive can be installed and yet not have it be all blacktop.  Much to do in the future to do landscape plantings to please myself and others.  We left the Historic Commission with another vote to approve our plans for the repair of the house and issue a certificate of applicability for the work proposed.  We will have the same type and style of items replaced and rebuild the main porch that was there originally and all to be back to about the 1950's with black pipe handrail and we answered questions about the odd shape of the lot giving the history of it under Hattie B. Hill and how the boundaries had to be redesigned to accommodate zoning ordinances and such. The back porch, full length dormer and such were approved in June with another certificate of applicability.  Next step is to get all the estimates from contractors and images drawn as to how things will be repaired and have the city come and do a "walk through" so we can respond to their suggestions.
04 January, AD 2017
Meeting at the C3 I went to after setting up an agenda for the Board of Directors of the Armory Quadrangle Civic Association.  Met with outgoing President and Secretary and then presided over the board of directors meeting.  Did lots of planning.  Will have a planning meeting at length Feb. instead of a general meeting. Got back to Apartment and Steffi was delayed, hence did not get to the Men's meeting. Called and told John to tell the guys.  Steffi got here about 8:30PM and we spent the next 90 Minutes or so putting 6 mil plastic on my bathroom widows with expansion rods and a little tape.  It increases the temperature by about 6-9 degrees. pleasantly toasty in there now.  As yet I have NOT needed to turn on the heat, but I get some through the interior walls and the hall.   Steffi left and is to call me when she gets home.  She is such a help and I do ENJOY doing things for and with her.  She helped me put a fluffy rug on the floor, we left the excess rolled up under the sink.
03 January, AD 2017
Bob brought me to bank to get a bank check and I had to pay $29.95 for Checks at this old address. I hope to be moving within 6 months. Went to bed early
02 January, AD 2017
Did things and hopefully have finished up the Holiday Meals stuff.  Got back to apartment in time to meet Bill Devlin and go over stuff for 257 Central and the Historic Commission.  The stink of cigarets in the building was making him sick so he had to leave early.  No Springfield Lodge tonight.  Looks like most businesses closed.
01 January, AD 2017
Just a few minutes into the day and I have a image to share and have been listening to Grange Radio.  So disgusted with myself. Nothing accomplished that is good.
However did get to Church and had some people fill out address locations building a good census of our congregation and handing out Annual Meeting notices.


January

Begins

2017 Begins

31 December:2016
Saturday, last day of the week and last day of the month of the last month of the year.  Tomorrow is 2017 and I still seem so far away from my goals.  Today I helped Bob with much of the last of the clean-up from the holiday meal and get him connected again to the internet . I had a wifi adapter. Bet his died.
30 December: 2016
Last Friday of the year.  Want to send greetings as we review this year and look towards another one, if God grants me the life to live it out. I spent the day doing nothing much productive. A bit ready to work on things for Monday's meeting and then prepare for the Historic Commission meeting Thursday.  Still can't upload CLA files.
29 December: 2016
Finality as I look at the past year and am not happy with my "progress" towards getting S.C.A.R.F. and Charles Knight and Associates and about a half dozen other projects "off the ground".  Often wonder if I can do anything right.  So many seem to complain that I "don't know anything" yet I like to try and help make things better.  Did not get the church notices out today, will try and get them out tomorrow.
28 December: 2016
Wednesday, half way through the last week of the year.  Try to get the Holiday Meals clean up done and stuff over to storage and room winterized and such.
27 December: 2016
Holiday Meal clean up and "office" stuff here in preparation for Historic Commission meeting and city building department walk through of 257 Central.
26 December: 2016
Clean Up after Holiday meal and then go to Church for Feast of Saint Stephen with Bishop John. Important day, installation of Parish Council, ordination of Sub-Deacon, and festive program.  I would like to take the St. Stephen Course of Study, but that is about $3,500. And then back to clean up from Holiday Meal and bring stuff to storage.  Maybe other events.
25 December: 2016
Holiday Meal, be there to put up rest of signs and such a bit early. Bring books to read.  Expect to be cleaning up afterwards and then collapse.

24 December: 2016
Holiday Meals stuff and at the end of the day, Christmas Eve at Church.
23 December: 2016
Holiday Meals stuff most of the day.  Rest of day is "office" stuff here and calls to be made to prepare for Historic Commission second meeting.
22 December: 2016
Read Aloud at Boland School and help Bob with Holiday Meals stuff.
21 December: 2016
Long awaited meeting with Dr. Demos is today at 2PM, I need to be there by 1:30PM.  Must talk of face and illness and what happened to scaling after antibiotics. And be available for Bob & Holiday Meals.  Then Men's at the Fort with John.  National Homeless Memorial Day,  let all who would join with S.C.A.R.F. remember the homeless today who have died without a place to call home.  "What does it mean to be homeless?  It is not the same as houseless.  It is not that you do not have the ability to be safely sheltered  It really means you have no place in which you can be comfortably able to rest and relax, to be loved and to love.  It means that there is no place that is happy to have you living in that space.  It means you have no “dirt” to put your roots down in.  It means you do not belong anywhere.  It means you are NOT." (from a flyer about this day).  Might turn on heat but most probably will cover windows for the winter by this date to keep what heat I have in the apartment and not hitting the cold window and going outside.  I am so tiered at times.  Thanks for your prayers for myself, for S.C.A.R.F., for all those we hope to help heal & have a home.
20 December: 2016
Today at 9AM we go into 257 Central for window measurements and the architect needs to look at some things before we speak with the Historic Commission. I am to be ready by 8:30AM.  1PM at Christ Church Cathedral is the Springfield Mass. Homeless Memorial ServiceClick here to download a "card".  Just download and print it and fold it in fourths and give it to someone to have them come to the service or remember all who are homeless tonight.   I doubt it will be warm enough, but soon I need to move summer stuff to storage and up to the upper level there.  Stop Access Coalition meeting is at 3PM atthe C3 office at 806 Main Street. Do preparations with Bob for Christmas Holiday Meal today through Saturday.  Must get minute of 32 Byers Street Inc. meeting done.  Also record things for tomorrow's submission to the Historic Commission so we can meet with them in January.
19 December: 2016
32 Byers Street, Inc. board meeting was at 1PM and will went until 2:15PM.  The meeting with architect on this project was held and we will meet tomorrow to gain access to 257 Central to do window measurements in preparation for a final trip to the Historic Commission.  Looks like we will need to cut windows down to size for th smaller widths of this building. Stop Access Coalition meets Thursday at the C3 meeting place on main street.  Helped shovel snow for Bob. Getting lights and forms ready for the trip into 257 Central Street tomorrow to record what we find.  Yet to have the city go through the place with us again. At times I feel so helpless to move things along to completion.  So much "red tape" with governments.  Why do I want to do this with S.C.A.R.F.?  Because there is a need for people to be healeed.
18 December: 2016
Parish Council meeting rescheduled from last Sunday when many people could not attend. I was sick also. Was not cold inside the building but I felt cold inside my body.  Elections and such and many decisions for the Annual Meeting and going forward with the Church.  In the evening prepare for the 32 Byers Street Board meeting tomorrow. MUST move all extra stuff OUT of "office" and apartment area by day's end.

17 December: 2016
Possibly in Watertown about more on the World Trade Center discussion and other events, and then back by bus or train, (probably bus).
16 December: 2016
To Boston by bus for the event at the Boston Society of Architects in thier SPACE section about the fall of World Trade Center building number 7. Be there by noon and maybe try and talk with folks at HUD building in morning.  Then somewhere at night.
15 December: 2016
Awake at 2:30AM, put on sweat shirt and updated this.  Then back to bed. Must call and check about read aloud program. Thought it was today but listing says a week from today. Must call Hood about obtaining milk carton crates for Holiday Meals usage, or at least get telephone number.  Work here and then at Kimball for set up for the party by 3pm.  Might need to get bus ticket to Boston today for tomorrows morning departure.
14 December: 2016
Awoke and dressed and brought garbage cans in from Bob's and went to go but saw cardboard in road and took it back. Then missed G3 bus and walked to Wilbraham road and was eating muffin and ended up vomiting it all up. Happens sometimes. Triggers mucus and fills up throat, probably from nerve damage after accident in 2009. So walked across road and through park and up street to State Street and got bus to Spring and School Streets, then walked to unaccompanied youth committee meeting of the the network and found out the governor cut the budget for the network after all.  After this very productive meeting I came to "office" did some things and brought notices around about the holiday party tomorrow.  Went and read book I will read for Boland school.  Usually is 3rd Thursday but they have it listed for the 4th Thursday, must check with the school.  Came back and rested some after checking email and put empty boxes in alcove to work on apartment.  Then went to Men's group for Church at the Hot Table downtown and came back. More email and then so tired I went to bed.  Did not awaken in time to bring boxes in but will do it tomorrow.  Must leave tomorrow to arrive at 3PM to set up for Christmas/Holiday party at the Kimball Tower.  Spoke to Jodi (Portfolio Manager, covering for property manager) about missing last week's Building Committee meeting and how we need to schedule another meeting.  Try and get this "nailed down" tomorrow or Friday so it is presented at board meeting Monday.  I would rather work with people than be contentious against them.
13 December: 2016
Back from Amherst Lodge and then to bed, got up at 5:30 and then rolled over and back to sleep. Finally up at 8:30AM and worked on cleaning up until 1:30PM when I found out she is not coming to inspect until there is a second treatment for bed-bugs in the building. Did not know we had a first treatment.   So I bicycled to the counselors meeting and then back and then walked to the Maple, High, 6Coprnerrs Neighborhood Council meeting. Then got a ride back to Bob's house to help him with the garbage and sleep here.  Had a great facebook conversation with Tasya Ward, who was a classmate of mine at STCC and now is going to UMass. Almost 11PM, must be in bed by 11PM. Meeting tomorrow at 9:30 at 91 Spring Street, Unaccompanied Youth meeting of the Western Mass. Regional network to end homelessness.  Help Bob and work more on the apartment.  Made the date to work with Bill on the drawings he has done Sunday after Church, say 12PM at 400 Wilbraham Road.
12 December: 2016
Bob had things to do and I was feeling a little better. We helped Bob and he got my refrigerator from storage. An argument about how to do it and he insisted on laying it down and the banging it nearby into a two wheel cart. But shot is the thing I found out later Tuesday does not work now and when I had it in the lodge it did work well. I busted it somehow in transit.  Bob and I went to get stuff and he took it to others and we looked for things.  I got boards I want to make a bookcase out of and Bob took them out of the car and hurt his hand on a nail I did not see in them. I apparently do everything wrong.  WE got some wrapping paper and tape at the dollar tree and then Bob wanted me to go in and get Bows.  As I said, I apparently can't do anything right.  I bought a small cardboard like mail box and about 7 things, keychain lights, pointers, tape measures, USB car cigarette lighter charger, a three prong electrical receptacle  one to three adapter and then the batteries for the elements and wrapping papers and such. It was fun creating something for the Yankee Swap gift exchange at the hall were we at a catered dinner in Belchertown that night with Amherst Lodge.
11 December: 2016
So cold. It is not that bad inside, maybe 66-67, but I feel so very cold inside my body. Like when I had pneumonia so many years ago.  Did not go to Church. Stefi offered to come and get me, but then she would have been late.  I said no but asked her to come by and help me pack, etc. and bring some things to the lodge. We did that and Gabe helped and then I went back to the apartment. Stefi had brought me some "Shepherds Pie" and pastries.  From there I went right back to the room and worked on some stuff but mainly went to bed.  I felt so cold inside.  In the evening I ate the shepherds pie, popcorn, fruit, an a lot of stuff and then went to bed all warmed up.  When I woke Monday that had helped some.

10 December: 2016
Two weeks from tomorrow is Christmas Day.  With the efforts being made to do the Holiday Meal, I will most probably not be posting much here.  Sunday is the Parish Council meeting, Monday the Amherst  Lodge Christmas Party and Thursday the 15th is the A.Q.C.A. Christmas Party, and the following Monday is the 32 Byers Street, Inc. board of Directors meeting. The general plan is to work some in the morning on S.C.A.R.F. issues and the afternoon on other things.  BUT to arrange the day so that if some other activity is to happen in the morning, then those hours are devoted to S.C.A.R.F. in the afternoon.  I have bought a sort of ladies cover for a classic Franklin Quest date book/organizer and if the go-ahead is given to do the work on 257 Central we might transition to that organizing tool to try and keep much of all things in the same place.  As I am carrying much with me on a back pack it gets destroyed if I do not have such covered.  The Dollar Store date book fell apart just after Thanksgiving.  Can't find the two dollar tree date books I bought for 2017, I put them up to safe.  As it was I took bus up to Order of St Benedict and Stefi brought me back.  I lay down and was so cold.  Felt Cold all night also.
09 December:2016
This is the end of the first full week and this Sunday will be Rose Sunday, and only 14 days until Christmas.  That means Bob will need help with the Christmas Holiday Meal.  I have an inspection on the 13th and I want to get things boxed up and moved out of the apartment that I will not use until Spring/Summer by tomorrow as well.  I also want to craft a card for Alice and one for Pet (who has been sending me holiday greetings ever since my accident in 2009.  Must also contact my Doctor as I have had the troubles with my little finger and other bad things since the car hit me in August 19th. 
08 December: 2016
Individual Services Committee meeting at the Senior Center in Northampton from 9:30AM to 11AM.
07 December: 2016
S.C.O.R.E. workshop (11am to 1PM) at Scibellie Enterprise Center in the Teliclassroom about how to protect and grow your business using Intellectual Property and then the  Armory Quadrangle Civic Association's board of Directors meeting at 3PM at the Kimball Towers office before I meet Stefi to go to the Cavalier Resturant in Chicopee for the combined Amity and Springfield Lodge's Christmas Party.  Must have toys bought somehow by today also.
06 December: 2016
Finish Rainville Record newsletter and send to board for comment in am  A  Building Committee meeting at noon and a possible Webnare at 1pm. Then meeting at 3300 Main Street. It is the First Tuesday, please pray for the community meal in Ware.  I wonder if Bob would want to take me over and eat so I might be able to help. Doubt it but I would like to be with them.  Also start a crafting of the end of year Holiday Greetings I can use with modifications for S.C.A.R.F. and Church and such.  Want to maybe mail that newsletter out to everyone, at 32 Byers Street, but will most probably just bring it around to them.  Much Check with Earl of RLC personally about stuff at 32 Byers street and his own life and see where we can be of mutual aid.  I must be over at Bob's to do his trash tonight.  I stay there or somewhere else at least 3 or 4 nights a week and if I am at 32 Byers Street I agree NOT to come out of my room after about 7 or 9 pm.  Normally if I am at the "office" (what I call the apartment) I do not come out of my room after 6PM so that I do not interfer with the activities of the person that threatened to kill me.  I also try and not go near the lobby or "community room" if he is present.  I just do not think our "community room" being open all day,  every day, is a good thing for most of our tenants.  Some tend to monopolize the room and self-assure each other that the craziest of things are true.  That is the value and the negative side of groups.  If they do not have any sort of a "reality check" then they tend to self-authenticate ideas that may actually be totally false.  Most of the troubles seen in the past 5-7 years revolve, in 32 Byers Street, around that 'community room' and its monopolization by a select few.  I wonder why that group thinks it must use that room only for its socialization and self validation activities.  Arise for Social Justice on one end, and a host of other  groups on the other end are places where they can be of help and function well in groups.  BUT I fear this sort of insular usage of one room will not do them well if they move to a regular apartment.  Yet if they are to move to a nursing home that usage of that room for the main focus of their lives will fit in just fine.  I would hope we are not preparing them for a nursing home.
05 December: 2016
Must spend much of today on the Rainville Record newsletter and have it ready for approval.  Also an outline for the S.C.A.R.F. January of 2017 newsletter.  Must pack up some things and throw away some trash as today is the day for garbage pick up at 32 Byers Street.  MUST coordianate with Architect and Contractors to go over the Architects drawings AND work with city to get access to 257 Central Street.  We have a deadline to meet, with the city, irregardless of holiday activities, and it is my job to make certain we reach those goals. Hence I need to have that date "nailed down" by the end of the day today.
04 December: 2016
Church, Christmas pageant and Still Small Theater events at Church, I need to be that the Cancer Concert rehearsal at 1:30pm. This is the 2nd Sunday in Advent.So I will most probably need to leave right after Church to get the 12PM bus down State Street in order to get there in time.  I thought I would need to either do that or go back to the apartment and change and take a bus down, and it was apparently going to be colder.   So much to do and so little resources.  I also need to talk and get a time when Stefi and I can use the stuff she bought to make her windows warmer.  She got over $60 worth of stuff to try and keep the warm air in this winter and cut down on wasted fuel.  As it happened Stefi asked if it was OK if she brought me to St. George at 1:45pm AND I agreed.  Well I kind of knew what was going to happen and we left at 2:02PM and we saw the sign was still out so Stefi said she would take me to St. George Greek Orthodox Church, where the concert was being held, and then come back and take the sign back in herself.  Also she agreed to be my escort to the Christmas Party the combined lodges of Amity and Springfield would be putting on this Wednesday.   Please pray for Stefi and for Alice and for Mary and all the people I have mentioned here. Pray for yourself and how you can help us help people to rebuild there lives, in 2017.   Sometimes I wonder if I am the right person to be doing this sort of thing with S.C.A.R.F. as I am seemingly getting nowhere forming it.

03 December: 2016
Must get black binder for Cancer Concert and prepare the pages for that and black pants and four in hand black tie and white shirt..  Would like to travel to Northampton and attend Still Small Theater event at College Church.  The morning starts with Order of St. Benedict and then Wally and I work on frames to keep the heat in the fellowship Hall. Please pray we can do this well. It will mean using all I have learned in 40 years of Environmental Studies and such.  , but I did not get out of church until later and then Stefi took me over to Aldi in West Springfield to see about more Christmas battery operated candles.  They did not have any but we went to Costco and they did. It was $25 but I think if I can I will get another set  They are battery operated, of a higher quality and use AA batteries, and we can select the color of the candle and when not lit it looks like the candle has a burnt wick and when lit it looks like the light is down in the candle.  I set up 4 candles, not the right colors, 3 cream colored and on red (for the rose color) and lit the first Sunday in Advent one today at about 6:45pm. I rested and my head burst inside and it was so painful, I think there are small sinus "eruptions" and I must get upright again as soon as possible to stop the searing pain.  Then I tried to get 15 min. of sleep again. Some guy called from "Windows operating System" asking how my windows computer was.  I said it was doing just fine as a door stop and hung up on him. Then I finally got a little sleep but when I did awaken I found I was to late to get the but to Holyoke to get the bus to Northampton.  The last bus from the Holyoke mall was at 5:55PM and I awoke and found out the time at about 4:30PM, to late to get a bust up to Holyoke and such to get the bus to Northampton.  I really wanted to go also.  Will be putting things together so I can go to Church in the morning and then to the cancer concert to be there by 1:30PM as I think we have a final dress rehearsal at 2PM.  I also want to find our where my good friend and close person I care about, Joan Marcel is.  I think she might be at a rehab place after her operation.  Thanks for keeping her in prayer.  I hope I can continue the weatherization of my room's windows so that I can delay turning on the heat until at least after the 7th.  Must work on a lot of things, newsletter, etc. Monday and Tuesday and what seemed so far away a few days ago is now upon us.  
02 December: 2016
Meeting of a sub committee of the Western Area Regional Network to End Homelessness regarding how we can work with landlords so they will rent to folks that have become homeless and might have other "baggage" that often comes with people who have had to struggle just to survive.  I said a few days ago that this afternoon had to be packing stuff for storage and by 6PM at the Community Policing meeting and then the Historical Commission meeting.  As you can see from the posting before, I was so mixed up and thought the 1st was Wednesday, it was not. It was Thursday and I missed the things I wanted to get to.  BUT I had it right that I was to be in Northampton on this date and Bob brought me up there.  He insieted on bringing me up "in time" so I was there about 2 and a half, almost 3 hours early.  It was a good meeting and I had hoped to get down to see John Fisher with the Saturday Landlords & Property Managers workshop.  I did not get a ride back so I took the bus to Holyoke and then the X90 to the Springfield Mall where the Airport used to be on Liberty Street. There I went to Savers and one fellow had a black binder and then he decided not to get it and I snatched it up plus a back up binder for the small half pages I wrote on the Central Street Project so far. I just wonder if I will live long enough to move into this house.  I fear that just is not to be.  I had bought some books at the book kiosk at the Northampton Senior Center, it was clearance at 50 cents each and I got a lot of books about the world and such that Alice and I used to get.  Then I went to catch the bus and the driver said to do down further, so I did and it kept on going.  Later I found out the stop is one block beyond where I gave up by some construction. The PVTA signs on the norther tier are so much different than the ones on the southern tier.  I thought since the name of the company was the same, Pioneer Valley Transit Authority that the things would be the same, they function pretty much like two different companys.  At any rate I got to the Raven Bookstore and got a book outside they were selling for $1.  What a find It was what I thought was a " classic " that I had read while waiting for people to come for the Valley Interface Macintosh Users Group at S.T.C.C. and it is called "Campfire and Battlefield" and is an illustrated history of the Civil War by Rossiter Johnson; published by Fairfax Press in 1978 and is a reprint of the same work printed in 1894 by B.Taylor of New York.  The abundance of line drawings and engravings made this book and asset and a value to me beyond even $111 dollars in worth.  I can maybe imagine my great grand father, who fought in the 37th Massachusetts Regiment, possibly picking up this book before he died. I can not remember but think his death was in the early 1900's.  So I have a relative that lied about his age to fight in this great war "because no person should be required to work for another person just because of the color of his skin".  It was in Sheffield, MA, (where my High School was) that Elizabet Freedman had "sued" for her freedom and won, the first slave they say to be freed by due process of law.  She was a slave of Colonel Ashley and her decision opened the door for other people so enslaved of color to gain their freedom until the Dred Scott decison, which pretty much put our country on a course for all out Civil War over this issue.   I went to get groceries and many events happened in Great Barrington, MA where W. E. B. Dubois was born.  I sat on committees with friends that name him as their ancestor.  I had this issue of race.  And today it seems to be also many people of color want to be separate when they want to and included when they want to.  Evie Jackson was what people would call a black lady.  I considered the color of her skin and the color of here hair just a genetic thing that had NO bearing on my liking or not liking  her.  As it turns our God spoke to Evie and she is now a preacher.  I have always admired her and do so to this day.  So the folks that take pride in calling themselves Black, and those that take pride in calling themselves White, are both just as wrong to me.  All our ancestors, the scientists say, came out of Africa.  And coming up through to the Tigris and Euphrates River valleys past where Eden was and then northward and eastward.  My linage is most probably from the area of Europe extending to the caucus mountains and also including much of Africa.  I guess you could say we encompase the areas around the Mediterranean body of water.   I and NOT white, that is a color of skin, I am a Caucasian, which denotes where my ancestors came from.   I find the term white just as offensive as the term black.  We all, science says, have our genetic roots in Africa and talk about the development of gene so we do not need such pigmentation. BUT the color of skin I think is totally immaterial, what is important is the "color" of you heart and how willing you are to help another succeed.  Now we come back to the essential element in what is S.C.A.R.F., helping people who have experienced a traumatic event in their life, like becoming homeless, to rebuild a house and hence rebuild their lives and be come interconnected with a community so they start to rebuild that as well as themselves. This we all can play a part in and I believe the entire universe would be so much better if people cooperated with each other so that we all succeeded instead of so much death and war.  At night I went to Bob's place after dropping stuff off at my apartment and getting other things for the church. We can not work on the windows Saturday but I will bring what I have there.
01 December: 2016
Stuff this morning and working on many projects.  Did not get dressed until afternoon.  Got Paper that cost me $48 per box of 8 reams at Staples ($104 in total) from Pam yesterday and today the toner cartridge came (normally about $100) so I can use the older black and white laser printer for many text print jobs.  Slept again in the morning and still feel so discouraged.  Got things for the property management people and will need to ask for the Federal SSI and the State SSI and the Social Security determination letters.  I don't know why they did not ask me for these things when I gave them my screen shots of the deposits in my bank account. I can not forge them.  And the last time I asked for such it took many weeks to get.  Hopefully I can get a firm date soon as to when Uptown and Bill Devlin and I and maybe Bob representing the funders can look over Bill's drawings and see if we can give figures to the city of how much this will cost now we have to add about $50,000 or more in costs.  I feel so horrible and worthless in having these expenses, but I do want to save this piece of history for the city of Springfield.  Bob called and asked if I wanted to come over to his house tonight so I got dressed and he came before I was ready to go.  I have very little or no kinship with most of the people living at 32 Byers Street right now.  So much of their lives seems to be focused on what they want and parties and enjoyment for themselves and so little, it seems, do they do to help anyone.  I have yet to see ONE person of the some 46 living there offer help in the holiday meals or anything else, unless they are going to be eating food connected with it.  But I should not be surprised, I think selfishness is most probably one of the reasons some became homeless in the first place.  When I got to Bob's place I passed up food to get into bed and turn the TV on pbs and go to sleep with an interesting program.  Then I awoke and ate some things I had, Jiff whipped peanut butter and chocolate, delicious.  Then start a virus scan of this computer and update these pages, then hopefully sleep some.  Bob is so nice to let me have an electric heater he had suggested I buy for 257 Central that I can use to augment the heating system and let my sleeping area be really nice and warm.  I fear I was not good at all, passing out a lot when I tried to help Bob do some things for a Grand Lodge report.  Sometimes I am not in good health at all. I seem to go in 17 year cycles, starting with January 1, 1945 (I was born in November of 1944).  The first 17 year cycle brings me to 1962 and the year I graduate from Mount Everett Regional High School (I had come from the Mill River Elementary School in New Marlborough, MA which is now called the New Marlborough Central School and when my Uncle and my Mother graduated it was the High School in the town) and start the now non-existent Famous Artists Schools  which recently sent its archives to the Norman Rockwell Museum in Stockbridge, MA.  I know Norm as a friend and want to search those archives this summer. I also want to do what I can to restore enough of the family home so that I can live in some section of it in the summers from March to September or November at least part of the week or on the weekends. I still love the quiet of the Berkshire Hills and the interaction of Nature and NEED to be there again at least on the weekends to sort of "recharge" and "be grounded" with nature.  Please pray that I learn what it is that I can do that folks will desire to pay for so that I can earn the money to do the things I desire to do.  BUT more than that, please pray that I move towards doing what I feel God has asked me to do.  I have felt I should be doing some things but have put them aside when folks said I needed more education, etc.  I fear I might not live much more, and need to start some things now.
Look at what I did today. I totally forgot it was Thursday when Bob asked me to come to his house. I was so tired and had not lay down to rest and the narcolepsy was messing me up something horrible. So I went with him and went an lay down and slept WRONG MOVE and I feel so awful for it.  I really must lay down and rest when I say I need it folks. For if I do not I am falling all apart.  I knew there was some reason I did not want to go to his house at 6:30PM. This was it. I was to be at the Community Policing meeting and then to the Historical Commission meeting. BUT my mind was so messed up I could not remember or think to look at my date book.  I kept thinking that the 1st was on Wednesday. Oh how I messed up.  I just can't do things for everyone and get caught up in small fires and not get any sleep.  I have narcolepsy and the Sleep Apnea help (CPAP) Constant Positive Air Pressure machine does NOT work for me.  Hence I MUST have a nap at noon and another short one at about supper time. If I do not I fall all apart.  Bob insisted on me working on things this afternoon and then he left for a meeting.  I was in such bad shape and because I could not give my rent money to the property manager since they left early, I waited to 6:30PM to have the security guard witness me putting it in the rent drop box slot.  I was so messed up I was still thinking that tomorrow was Thursday instead of realizing that today was Thursday and that this was the meeting I had been waiting for all month.  Friends, please pray for me. I MUST set hard and fast rules for my rest as with out it I fall apart.  I am now 72 and I feel really horrible about what I did today.  I was encouraging others to go to this meeting and then I did not get there myself.  I was in such horrible shape that I was passing out hitting the computer screen as I was trying to do this graphic arts work for Bob this afternoon.  I really MUST get a schedule together and get the rest I need or I will be dying much sooner than I expect.  However, if the alpha people get me to do things for them when they want them, regardless of what it does to me that will be "no skin off of my nose", as soon as my body is buried, or before, they will have replaced me to do things for them.  It is what I see with "alpha" people all over the world, they are pretty much useless folks that push their way to get done when they want it done and often they could do the thing themselves if they would only take the time to learn, but that is to much effort for them. It is much easier for them to push someone else around and not do it with their own efforts, truthfully I think alphas are to lazy to actually work with and cooperate with others.  I have been an Alpha person and am trying to be different so I actually become more productive in encouraging people so we all get more done.  You can be active in 100 things and think you are making 100 different things happen, when in actuality you are just being a bully and once you leave the folks go back to what they were doing before you pushed your way to happen.  Nothing good changes with that, just that you got your satisfaction because you thought you were "in control".   I am so mad at myself for following the suggestion I make certain I get my rent paid within the hour.  It could have waited 4 hours and I could have been to the meeting I had been so wanting to be at.  So this is a long tirade showing how mad I am at myself. For three weeks, and especially the last two, I have wanted to be at these meetings and gain important information from people there.  BUT I did not take the naps I needed and allowed myself to get pushed around and so I was in no shape for anything tonight.  Even if I had not gone to Bob's to stay the night I could have just been at my apartment and been on the internet and then realize while updating this that I had missed the first Thursday of the month. The fault is no one's but my own.  I MUST schedule the time so that between 11AM and 2PM I get a nap of 15 min. or more.  The same thing is true between 4PM and 7PM, if I plan on going out for a meeting that night.  Without this I am useless and can not function hardly at all.  I am so thankful that Bob asked me about coming back to his house tonight. I will now, at almost midnight, now sleep and rest so that I am fresh for the meeting in Northampton tomorrow morning.  The neanderthals lived in very small groups and the homo sapiens lived in larger groups and that gave the homo sapiens an advantage.  However the society we have developed may have the seeds of disunity in that we do not have functioning small groups as well like the Neanderthals.  I think we need to develop those integral small units as well that help us to interface with the larger group, but the smaller ones are ones we can share life with and be co-dependent with.  I am more and more coming to the conclusion that co-dependency is not so much a mental problem as much as it is a social asset and without it we are psychologically more deficient than the co-dependent person.  The small co-dependent community I seek to establish at 257 Central Street is one in which birds and animals and a cat or two and myself can co-exist and depend on each other for value, and worth, and even our sustenance.  So without the adequate rhythms of activity and sleep we are in rough shape.  I know someone who falls asleep each night to the tv.  Yet I am certain their sleep is not good as it is fragmented with this incessant noise that is the tv.  We NEED to build "away places" where we are not caught up in the constant noise and hub-bub of daily "modern" life and we can naturally "recharge".  During my college years in studying programing I had a professor who said, and proved it with scientific documents, that in studying you need to every 25 min. take a 5 min break and think of NOTHING.  Not even wanting to sleep. Just do NOTHING.  Now try that, it is not easy. HOWEVER, if you do this you will find your brain is "recharged" and you can see the problems that eluded you before and you get more done in the day.  It is like the monastics and spiritual people have said for years. If you start the day, or spend time in the middle of the day to be quiet with God, you will get more done in the day, month and each year.  So this ends my harangue and  I will get to bed so I can sleep well for the meeting tomorrow.  I will need to send apologies as well.  BUT this typing here has helped me to realize how much I need to ORDER my life, what left I have of it, to provide times of rest and quiet and recharge, and teach the clients we will have to do the same.
This is the recipe for happiness and "success", the  ordered rhythm of rest and activity, with rest coming first.  Thanks for continuing to pray for me/us.

December 2016 Begins

30 November: 2016
Cancer Concert Final Rehearsal is tonight.  I need to go over these parts.  I have no idea why they asked me to be a part of this, as my voice is not good at all, I think it was just to swell the numbers and it would look good to have lots of people in the Community Coral. I should be buying tickets also but I am not certain I can do that after spending so much money last week Friday the 18th to go to Boston and back by Bus.  I need to be at the "office" for a webnare on selecting people to work with us. Then it is he AQCA board meeting at 3PM.  Tomorrow is a listening conference by telephone that I am looking forward to which they call a "webnar".  Been reading Black and Decker Codes for  Homeowners book (IRC).  Incidentally, I guess there was some really bad damage from that time the car hit me on my bicycle August 19th, now over 90 days ago.  My little finger, and others, seem to not work right and I have not done much of any drawings for this project.  I seem so depressed.  I do wonder if I am worth the amount of money the city feels needs to be spent on this project. The restoring of the water and sewer they cut off is estimated to be $20,000.oo alone.Adn the restoration to the house of Gas and Electricity and Telephone will be additional trench costs.  We want to do this in the section that was the 257 area so that the old 255, etc. is left untouched and such but for plantings in case the city wants to have us rebuild the house that burned in a similar external shape.  So I bought some more or some duplicate books at Savers yesterday on landscaping, gardening and such for this area.  Also got some things to use like a Home Settings wireless master remote controller to control some devices remotely, like turning on a light when people knock at the door.  I want so much to have this little "house in the oldest part of the city" also have a back yard with birds and a garden and a sitting spot, and an "away place" upstairs so that I can look out and see the country-like trees and back yard even in the winter.  So much to do, and my hopes and dreams are no different than any other person who has become homeless and had the branding of being worthless and no good still has a glimmer of hope for.  Please pray that through S.C.A.R.F. and other ways I can in some small part help to aid these people in putting their lives back together again. Thanks.
29 November: 2016
Do not know what the morning will bring but I went up to Savers and bought some books and things and then to an appointment at 3300 Main Street in the afternoon.  From there to a meeting at 32 Byers Street and then a meeting with a grant writer for 32 Byers Street, Inc.  Need to clean up and get things to storage and move other things in storage to another place really soon.  I have been so very discouraged about everything. Felt I have let down so very many people.  I think, if I ever get into 257 Central Street, I will get a cat the first thing.  Someone I can leave alone on a weekend if need be and will still be able to take care of them selves, but most of the time it would be "company" for me that, for the most part, will not as "crazy" as most of the humans around me.  Did some stuff for Bob and scanned in more things to work on for submission for his lodge.  Brought cd with me and tried to practice the bass parts for the Cancer Concert, what I was asked was what was a "yelling" about. It is now 11PM and I had hoped to get to bed by 9PM, so very tired and often discouraged, no forward progress.
28 November: 2016
Might have to help Bob in the morning. It is the Fourth Monday is today and the 32 Byers Street, Inc. board of directors meeting. I will be taking notes. I think I might just not try and participate at all. The fears I have are great and I get emotional and don't take good notes.  I think I will be happy if we can move this task over to someone else.  Maybe have then as an assistant for now and then take over after I am gone.  Much thought of that lately, going.  Maybe I am to die soon. Not certain how that goes.  No election of officers, but I meet with a grant writer Tuesday.  I feel so inadequate at times but knew I was doing the right thing when I was praying with someone after Church.  That is when I feel most alive, when I am seeking God's will and trying to do as He directs. Bob went to his son's and will be operated on for the neuropathy,  I hope this helps him some.
27 November: 2016
Sunday, Church, want to insulate the windows in the apartment.  I have held off so they could "inspect" them but I see no reason to continue to be cold just so they can finally get around to looking at the windows they will do NOTHING about until Spring.  I seriously doubt we will keep this property management company much longer.

26 November: 2016
Early in the morning, 112:45AM or so, there is screaming and noise and I just assume it is the guy who threatened to kill me having sexual intercourse with his girl.  Maybe when he wanted to do that the other day she refused and that is why they had the argument.  BUT if I get to move into 257 Central there will be no one but me often in the building, or me an an animal.  So there might be some peace and quiet without human noises and big fights.  Today we hopefully finish the cleaning up after the Holiday meal.  I hope I am right in remembering that I got a note saying that the fellowship of St. Benedict will not be Saturday as John has had an operation and is not as up to leading it as he had hoped he would be.  That means I am free to help Bob some more and maybe we do some things at his house.  If not I will water the plants and maybe bath there and sleep for the night as I need to be at Church by 8:30AM. We are having a Baptism and so things are earlier as we must get out to the space for the Church we rent from to have their service.
25  November: 2016
Bob awoke me as I had over slept and we were at the High School to clean up after the holiday meal.  He wanted to take me to go to talk with the folks at Staples about my computer that is dying.  I did not feel like it by then.  I did not feel I was worthy of any such repears.  I slept and at the muffins and apple cider I had been given and tried to fulfill some requests people were making.  MOSTLY I tried to avoid everyone and just be alone and away from the pain and knowledge that I can't do much of anything right and have accomplished almost nothing in this life so far but what I have left undone and what I have not repaired means I have destroyed or allowed to be destroyed the work my fore fathers worked so hard to achieve.  I feel I am worth so much less than zero.  It is costing the people of this country over $1000 week to keep me alive.  I can see NO justification for that expense.  I did find out to day that a course I want to take in becoming a Certified Occupancy Specialist is only 2 and a half days long and is offered soon in Boston. I need to be registered by next Friday, 2nd. BUT with the hotel room for two nights and the fees and transportation it is about $1,500.00!  I am most certainly not worth that cost.
24 November: 2016
Had wanted to get to Church, but did not.  Just plain lazy.  Got to Commerce High School and put up the rest of the signs and then took my position guarding the back bathrooms so most people do not see me.  We then cleaned up and I went back to the apartment to sleep.
23 November: 2016
Helped Bob with the Holiday meal stuff and he got me to my appointment at 3300 Main Street.  I am very depressed.  Helped Bob some more and then back to apartment.
22 November: 2016
Helped Bob with things for the Holiday Meal, then to Arise for a meeting, but it was not held there, I had remembered wrongly again.  Then more work on some stuff and I was told the green committee was not meeting.   I had paid for "Business Basics" course by Score and so I went to that.  I was told the green committee would meet after all. So I forwarded the minutes to everyone and said I was sorry but could not be there. This night at the apartment.
21 November: 2016
Next Report and update today.  Bob had me doing some things with him and then it was the Cancer Concert Rehersal at St. George Greek Orthodox Church.
20 November: 20016
Sunday, Church and such.  Stefi took me to CostCo and we got some stuff and I got my glasses fixed, great. I can see now in relative clarity.


19 November: 2016
Saturday, I was going to try and pick up lose ends but I was so exhausted I just stayed in.  I got a notice I could go to a training in Boston, but had no funds to do so.  Also Stefi came by later with food from the Fellowship of St. Benedict.  I thought we were not going to meet today and yet they did.
18 November: 2016
Left for Boston on 5AM bus & got to unaccompanied youth summit making plans to try and end youth homelessness. Great youth there who had been homeless and I have committed to try and get other youth on all of our Network committees, if possible. Good to see the people I knew and others and was so surprised when people said they liked what I had to say and it was relevant. So many times I hear that I am "full of shit" or other words to express people's displeasure with what I have so say. So many times I want to just disappear and "run away" from everyone. Then there are times like this when I spend the $75 or so and rush out at 4:45AM to get a bus and get back around 9:PM so very tired, but people of important positions validate that what I had to say had some value to it.  I fear though, that a end may come some day when it is not these unusual and rare times but the every day words of my total worthlessness that will be listened to.  As I look back I see NO reason fro ANYONE to remember me if I "went missing" tomorrow, no reason at all.
17 November: 2016
Busy day.  Whatever else I do I need to be at Boland School by 10AM to read to the children.  The FOH final board meeting is tonight at 5PM, then the AQCA meeting but I can only drop in to see if they need any help setting up and then go to the Christmas Cancer Concert Choral rehearsal at St. George Greek Orthodox Church, then back to AQCA to see if they need any help picking up.  I think I am to late for a bus to  Boston. 
16 November: 2016
No word yet at 7:45 but a friend wants me to go to a movie with him today.  I do feel better and might try this if I am not doing the stuff with Bob in the morning.  Want to get to the library and read over the book I am reading to the children at Boland School tomorrow.  Need also to clean up this room and do some more work on the stuff for the city and get extra stuff not needed, like summer shorts and such to storage.  This building is so warm and I have insulated the windows so much that as yet I have not turned on the heat and it is over 70 degrees consistently in my apartment / "office".  No Amity Lodge meeting due to the fall of our lodge member and we hope to visit him in the Hospital today. Might stay at Bob's tonight. Bicycle is still there.
15 November: 2016
Nothing all day, so tired but feeling much better, took last dose of medication and made an appointment to talk with Earl of RLC some. He may be moving to another job that will help him in his desire to help people more with housing.  He has grown a lot and this is the right move, I think, for him.  I will miss him as the "lynch-pin" that holds everything together, but all of us are moving into a very new phase of life right now.  Bob took me to the Stop-Access coalition meeting and then Dwayne took me to the bus terminal. Earl thought there was a bus from Amherst to Holyoke and then to Springfield. BUT at the PVTA station in Springfield they seemed to know nothing about this. Same name but northern tier and southern tier are different worlds, that seem to not "speak to each other" at all. So frustrating for public transportation riders.  So I came back to apartment and ate and went to bed. Bob wants to do something in the morning but I will not call him. He has been up late and just might not wake up early or has gotten someone else to help. I am often not told if I am not needed, just folks forget.  We found out a friend fell and broke his hip and they took him to surgery today and it is worse than expected. Bob and I hope to visit him by Wednesday.  The RLC grant that I got a laser printer with was able to print some things for this DAV fundraising effort. It felt good to be able to use some of the S.C.A.R.F. resources to also help another very worthwhile cause.
14 November: 2016
Did some stuff for Bob and this is my first day feeling better, moved a book-case and looking over some papers, this will take a while. Bob takes me to Walmart to pick up the items I ordered and bought another item to screw into a bare light bulb ceiling receptacle and then put a bulb in it so that the light goes on when one enters the room. Felt so tired after this 50 min jaunt, went back to bed.
13 November: 2016
Church, Parish Council meeting, notice of Annual Meeting, and such.  Stefi took me home but first we went to do some errands  and got her some adaptors to turn lights on at dusk and off at dawn with light sensor capabilities. I then ordered one via Walmart online for 257 Central. Will be very busy on "Holiday Meal" and such for next few days.
12 November: 2016
Order of St. Benedict meeting in the fellowship hall at Church.  Being so sick I am being told  by the doctor it would be best if I did not go out today. So I have emailed my clergy I will not be there.  I must do the same for the lodge and have asked that my friend Bob call the Chief Patriarch of the Agawam Encampment # 25 of the Independent Order of Oddfellows in the Jurisdiction of the Grand Lodge of Massachusetts to tell them I will not be there. I also been so sick that I have not been able to move rest of stuff from Alice's Pixley house to its spot in storage & work on city items to have them ready to be submitted by November 15 but it looks like now it will not happen until more like or near Thanksgiving. The architect and contractors want to have a meeting to discuss things before we have that walk through inspection by city code and building inspectors, etc.  Then we will be reviewing what we need to do and approvals secured about what we plan to do with the emphasis on the certificate of occupancy only, all other modifications to come later.  Get plans for purchase "in the works" to be accomplished prior to Christmas.  And work on cleaning up "loose ends" by November 15th or by the end of the month. I expect to be working on the Open Pantry Thanksgiving "Holiday Meal" with Bob much from the 15th on.  Today is the Agawam Encampment  #25 open installation at the Springfield 235 hall. The encampment branch of Oddfellowship focuses on trust and toleration and a mutual respect for others.  I wanted to obtain and restore the Thurston Wells Munson house at 60 Byers St., but I guess that is not a possibility now.  I wanted to rehab it as an office/studio and work out of there while renting the other two or three units for quality apartments that are geared for the needy.  I am beginning to doubt if I can do ANYTHING right, it does not seem so from the people that speak to me lately.  I have been so very sick all week and hope to get to these events today.  I feel so sick and will spend most of today in bed and forcing fluids and the daily medications at noon.  Thank You for your prayers.
11 November: 2016
Wanted to work on items for the city & have the "Rainville Record" newsletter published and in hands of tenants by today,will be done by Thanksgiving.  I have been so sick nothing as been done. Wondering if I can do anything right, probably not.  Must send an apology for talking at the nutrition workshop.  I have been reminded again that NO ONE wants to hear what I have to say and I go on and on about subjects others are not interested in hearing about.  I guess for some it is really important to be liked and say what they think others want to hear.  I just get excited about learning and I guess that bothers people.  This is Veteran's day and I hope world-wide we honor our veterans.  That mean on both sides of wars, winners and losers, as they all fought for their countries or causes when they were asked to. A veteran is one that has lived through a conflict and often he/she remembers her friends that did not survive that bellicose activity.   I was in DC as an intern 13 years ago and went to the Vietnam Memorial wall. A good friend's name must be there, John with a last name beginning with a 'B'.  It hurts so much I did not find it and when the "traveling wall" came to West Springfield I could not bring myself to look again. North and South, East and West, WWI and WWII, men and women on both sides answered the call of their people's leadership and put their lives "on the line" AND many did not return alive.  So, if you see a veteran, tell them thank - you, and pray for the dead and the vanquished that fought as valiantly.  I am still so very sick and even though last night I felt a little better I will spend today inside as well and not take any chances. Nothing done this week.  Once thing is good about me being to sick this week, it shows the world can function just fine without me at all.  That is indeed comforting.  I tried to work on things but could not. Did some work on the computer only to find a package I bought online from long island got shipped to California.  I was beginning to feel both good and bad at the same time. I am asked over and over again to contact the clinic and finally I get through. About 2 or 3 hours later the nurse calls me back.  She says I need to go to focus care at 3400 Main Street. I call Bob and in about a half hour he comes to get me. I am in the tub and it takes me a while to get dressed and get down there. They check me out and especially my breathing and figure out I still have or have developed some sort of an infection.  So Azithromycin 250 mg tablets are ordered and I am taken to the pharmacy.  I buy $48 worth of food and a card to pay for the cell phone on Sunday.  The doctor suggested I not go out Saturday and if I took the medications right away upon getting them I might be able to go to Church Sunday.  I want to do that as I am to take notes for the Parish Council meeting after Church. I buy some more generic Robotussin type of stuff, Wall-tussin.  Also I bought lots of juices, milk, orange juice, cookies, some candy, and such.  I had to wait for the medications and finally got back to the apartment. I told Bob I was only out about 2 hours, he said it was more like 3 and a half, but I was exhuasted.  He gave me some donuts and such and I gave a package to the fellow next door that opened the hall door or me. I am so exhausted. I took the double dose of the Azithormycin and will have 4 more doses, each one once a day.  I am looking forward to be able to go to Church, but will email my clergy why I will not be at the Order of St. Benedict.
10 November: 2016
Bob's birthday, and I made an electronic card for him.  All I could do, he just needs to print the pdf and fold it.  I am so sick. Tomorrow is Veterans Day and I had wanted to get the Rainville Record newsletter published before then.  I said Happy Birthday to Bob when he called today, I have some cd's of Air Force One for him and hope his family does a dinner for him !!!  I am so very sick and yet it seems to be getting a little better. I do NOT dare go to the MassLandlords meeting with the people from the Mas Commission Against Discrimination and their Chair, Jamie Williamson.  Now it looks like I will not get the Rainville Record newsletter done and published until more like Thanksgiving. I want items in it so our tenants can know how to keep warm this winter by doing small things themselves, like pulling shades or turning blinds in a certain way so the rising heat does not hit the windows and be lost.
09 November: 2016
Awoke and took a bath at 4AM to try and help.  By 5AM I checked some email and drank some fluids, will take more "Robitussin" at 6pm. I am to sick to go to the 9:30 to 11, meeting of the Unaccompanied Youth Committee of the ...Network... at the Gandara Center in Holyoke, near the road to the mall.  I feel so sick the night before I doubted I could leave by bus at 8 to get there in time.  The morning proved I was much worse. Got only a little bit of the stuff done today for the newsletter and no work to start my company that I wanted to start on this day, even if I need to pay another $50 later to change locations, etc .  I am so very very sick I think what will happen is my staying in bed most of today, and maybe tomorrow also.  Must make at least an electronic card for Bob.
08 November: 2016
Again I had a meeting at 3300 Main Street and tonight a Maple, High, 6 Corners Neighborhood Council Meeting; but I attended neither as I was so sick. Missed the building committee meeting and apparently it is my fault others did not come.  One person came to visit me and complained about some things I was doing at the computer and because I had been on the phone to the clinic and the cell phone company most of the morning and not able to take his call.  So I did not get to contacting people, I was instead blowing my nose and drinking fluids and trying to get well.  I think I missed another meeting as well, just to sick.  I did NOT get the Newsletter together with Brenda, the property manager for HMR and do not know if I can get it published by Veterans Day, Friday.  If I can get it all approved and printed we can maybe mail it Thursday.  If not then it will be dated for November 11th and give it to the tenants at 32 Byers Street as soon as we can.  Need to get tips on keeping warm for them in this issue. But I feel so rotten I wonder if this is more than a virus.  So very very sick.  Bob got me some "'tussin" liquid when he got through with his meetings tonight, just after 9PM. Glad I voted early, there was no way I wanted to go out and vote today.  I have a sadness that long after I applied to work at the polls there were asking for people and yet no reply came back to me when I came in to check if they had my address right as I had not heard.  I just assume I did such a rotten job when I was privileged to work at the polls once before that they do not want me.  Once again I am worthless and unwanted by yet another group.
07 November: 2016
Final Nutrition program meeting and I asked Bob to come.  He brought me and he won the door prize.  Bob says I talk to much and no one wants to hear what I have to say, most probably very true, I have heard that most of my life. They will be prepared a breakfast for us and I felt bad and after the event Bob and I went to do some errands he had to do and get things ready for something he is helping with tomorrow.  Have agreed to come to visit a Senior Center soon, but not today.  We got back at my apartment and I tried to get some images for him off the internet, not good and am feeling worse.  Tonight is the open Installation for Springfield Lodge, I am going in again as Vice Grand, don't think they want me as the presiding officer.  I was told that the collation had changed and mine would be at our next meeting, the 21st of November. Sam White did a great job as our District Deputy Grand Master and I ate with them after the meeting. Web Browning came and got me and dropped me back off at the apartment, went right to bed. Sooooooo sick.  But I did redo a chart to reflect the occasional time I would take two doses of a medication as prescribed instead of the one dose my Dr. and I are trying to do.
06 November: 2016
Church then Stefi brought me to get some foam insulation between rooms where I often sleep at night, because of this I did not go to a talk at Classical Condominiums at 2PM or the $35 organ concert at Old First Church at 3pm.  Bob's Birthday is in 4 days, need to prepare for that but I stayed at his place and went to bed early after having a breakfast at about 5PM.  Tomorrow we go to my last session and graduation from the nutrition class.  Sore throat and felt awful so I went to bed early and watched some public television. Wanted to read about the IRC (building codes) but just did not feel I could.

05 November: 2016
Order of Saint Benedict meeting at Church and then I do not know what, will be very cold tomorrow.  I feel like I am not getting much done, I get so discouraged.
04 November: 2016
Friday, so much not done, hope to get to "the office" and finish plans and then wash clothing and deal with other things at the lodge.
03 November: 2016
Left Bob's for the Western Mass. Network to End Homelessness's Individual Services Committee meeting at Friends of the Homeless and then to the apartment and then by bus to 3300 Main Street for a professional appointment and then back to City Hall where I voted early. I had offered to help at the polls and if they called Monday I wanted to be able to respond.  Then to the apartment after talking about helping some as a volunteer at the local public access TV station. Then by bicycle to the Sector E community Policing meeting. Then to the safety meeting in the South End at the new South End Neighborhood Council meeting in what used to be Bare Auto.  Then back to the apartment and try to help someone get their account balance and then I just took off to go to Bob's and try to get this updated as I felt I might get nothing done there, and am updating this from there.  Will need to tell others on facebook why I left. It is almost midnight, time for bed.
02 November: 2016
I had stayed last night with Bob and then went to the apartment for most of the day I hurt so badly. Tried to take a hot bath, little help. Went to the AQCA board meeting and then to Bob's to attend Lodge and go back to his place to help with the trash. Stayed there and tried to update the computers and stuff I have there.
01 November: 2016
Went to the Nutrition class at 101 Wasson Ave and then back to the apartment. Did some stuff there and was planning on leaving by bus to get a bus to get a bus to get a bus to Amherst. Bob got me to help him with something and then he took me to Amherst and went back to a meeting in West Springfield. I walked around a bit and tried to check for old Springfield Maps, did not find what I wanted.  Then to the Student Union and walked over to the Campus Center and the university book store.  Then back to the student union and God told me to walk from the outside of the campus center, I did and Stefi was driving up with stuff of the play.  I went around from the inside to open the door to the side where she was bringing in things and then helped set up the cafe to become a theater and then watched the really nice and moving presentation of a story of the martyrdom of a young woman named perpetua, killed for her faith in Christ by the still small theater troupe. After the play we had someone talk from an organization called "Voice of the Martyrs" that said that more Christians have been killed in this past century than at any time since the birth of Christ. I checked this out, it seems to be true. Back in 2011 it was stated that a Christian dies every 5 min. because of their faith.  At about that same time it was stated that at that year 7 out of every 10 Christians killed for their faith came from Nigeria. It is  also stated that This Is The Age of Martyrs.
But I can do no other than be a Christian.  Christ himself appeared to me on a road outside of Fiuggi, Italy, in 1972.  I knelt on the ground immediately with a bowed head. He said "my son I have other things planned for you". And then he was gone. I have strayed horribly but all I can be is a Christian, because I have met the eternal Christ and know the peace that comes from trusting in Him and abiding in God's love. I could go on. Please pray for me, that I do God's will, not my own.


November Begins


31 October: 2016
Don't know what but I think I want to be at the house at 257 Central tonight, Halloween.  There is some strong support for the idea that Halloween or All Hallows Eve is of an entirely Christian nature.  But much of today's celebrations focus on non-christian topics and things, so people might not know the origins of this time of remembrance of those that had passed on before us in faith and dedication to our Lord. Hope we can move along so the city can let me obtain and work on this property and maybe get a certificate of occupancy and be moved in by springtime. It would be really nice if I could get that certificate and be moved in by either Christmas, St.Patrick's day or Easter-time. AND even if I can not sleep in the building, it would be nice if I had electricity to it and I and a few friends could warm up some plates of food from Thanksgiving Day and have our own "thanksgiving meal" there.  Alice and I did that after she got her house fixed up after it was flooded and we had to redo the walls and floors and such. It is a hope.  I most  certainly want to be there by May 27th, the 2nd Anniversary of my putting in that RFP bid.  So at near midnight I went out on this cold Halloween night with a trench coal and under it a grey hooded sweat shirt and inside of that a bright florescent green sweat shirt, big staff-like walking stick and a metal lantren glowed with a greenish light.  I said nothing, just walked up State street, over to myrtle, in back of Commerce High School, over to High Street and then Down Walnut, then to Pine and over to Central. Sat at the buss stop waiting station and looked at the house at 257 Central and took a picture or two of it.  Then continued down Central to Maple and took that to State Street and then up to Spring and that north to Frost and that up to Byers and back to the starting point.  I said nothing, just walked with the large stick making a clunk sound on the sidewalk every few steps. I guess it was as if a ghost from the past had come to walk the old neighborhood and then disappear.  The house seemed to be ok.  Then I went to bed at the apartment.


30 October: 2016
Church and then items afterwards, I think we are having our celebration early.  I had hoped I could at least be a part of this event in some way, helping to set up would be a joy.   The first priority is to the Church things.  After I get back from the events in Westfield it will be late, I am often so tired I will most probably just rest.  Must get minutes done for 32 Byers Street, Inc., the green committee and Agawam Encampment all finished by Monday but bet I will not get it done until Wednesday or later.  Friday I was to get the President of the board of directors to sign something, but she had left for home by the time I got back to that location, so I will try and do that Monday.  I spent Friday night and early Saturday morning looking up ways to file this electronically and I think the fax option is what I will use to file the 32 Byers St., Inc. corporate papers on the 31st of October with the Secretary of State's office. They need to be in before, or maybe on, November 1st.
29 October: 2016
Order of St. Benedict in the morning, then prepare for items after Church the next day. I will not be at those events I like so much as a dear friend wants me to go with him to attend Reformation events in Westfield by bus.  We will need to leave the church building where he is having worship service. His is a Lutheran and mine an Orthodox service. The church I am working with right not is renting the sanctuary and space below from his church (Lutheran) and we meet and are out of the Lutheran's nave space about a half hour before their service begins.  So I will go down and be with folks before our events begin and then be upstairs at his events at about noon so we can walk to the bus stop across the park and take the bus, to the bus, to the bus to Westfield.  We will get there about an hour after the events begin.  My friend Ray and I and his late lady Moira (of blessed memory) spent many an enjoyable time together at college and at other places such as a board of directors we were all on at once.  He is the one that urged me to try "star office" and the whole Linux platform which I am very thankful for.
28 October: 2016
MHP meeting in the AM and I, as clerk of the board of directors, was put in as the contact person for the officials that were there to be the person they talk to in order to convey messages through to the board of directors that own that building. Bob dropped me back to "office" to work on items for the 257 Central Street Project but I got very little done.  The architect came by and we went for "coffee" and talked a bit and he brought me to the post office so I could buy some more stamps. Bob came by after that and gave me some food just before that.  Bob came by again and I got a stamp for him and we mailed a letter and then went back to his house to winterize a space he created for air ventilation in his house that had been open in the summer and needs to be closed up for winter. We ate and I stayed there and updated this website from there as I had the flash drive with files on it.  Most of what I wanted to do today will be done Saturday and next week. 
27 October: 2016
Work on stuff for this project in the AM and go to an appointment at 3300 Main Street by 1:45PM.  Bob picked me up there and we did some other things and then dropped me back to "the office" where I worked on the newsletter and talked with the property manager. Try and prepare for a MHP meeting the next day.
26 October: 2016
Did not know how as of Monday, but I needed to be in Pittsfield, MA, today by 10:45AM for a meeting of the Western Massachusetts Regional Network to End Homelessness, Leadership Council.  Bob brought me up and we looked at Alice's house in Pittsfield.  They have thrown out all her belongings and had someone repaint the house and it is now up for sale.  So sad, so against all "best practices" and so down right evil. That is why I am continuing to work on staying in Hampden county most of the time. The evil people that did this to my friend Alice are the same people that control what happens to elderly people in Berkshire, Franklin, and Hampshire counties here in Massachusetts.  Then got back here tried to go to a meeting but it was not at the Chestnut Middle School as I had been told, but at a health center across the street from that middle school.  I looke at that health center but saw no signage about the meeting. So I called Bob and he got me and I went with him to eat. Maybe work more on the plans and prepare a newsletter for 32 Byers St., Inc.when I get back to "the office" Thursday morning.
25 October: 2016
101 Wasson Avenue I will be at this morning at 8:45AM for the nutrition meeting.  They want to have someone check on me because my refrigerator that the landlord provided for me failed 5 times and I have lost food.  I want instead to get permission from the landlord to provide my own that I will then bring over to 257 Central St when I move to be working there, if I do get that far.  Will check next week on clothing at Savers, see if Bob wants to go, as he was not able after to go today. I then worked some more on the measurements of 257 Central and cost estimates. Then it was the Green Committee subcommittee meeting to take notes for.  Then to Bob's to help with the trash and maybe some other computer related things.
24 October: 2016
Got up early and started all sorts of paper work for this meeting.  Forms need to be filed with the Secretary of State in a few days and I need information about people to accurately file these annual papers.  Will need to chase people down, they did not put the information in.  Before the meeting I was asked to check on the status of a court case and I did that and then afterwards we got my tuxedo (one of two given to me) from the dry cleaners and I was brought back to the apartment. By the time the person came to take me to the meeting I could not find much of the stuff for the tuxedo I had put away safely so I used the other one and we went up to Amherst Lodge where I did as best I could the part of the District Deputy Grand Marshall in the installation of that lodge.  We ate and returned me to my apartment to sleep and get up early to update this listing and some other things before going out to a meeting in the morning.
23 October: 2016
Church and after the Mass (Divine Liturgy) went down to the fellowship hall and got set up for the Parish Council Meeting.  Got back to apartment after that and tried to rest and then do the minutes of that meeting and prepare some for the meeting Monday of the board of directors of 32 Byers St., Inc. After fellowship time I found out our clergy's family dog had died. Did not feel good about this at all. I had known the dog and followed "flam" and her antics on their "facebook" page. I was to go to the SPT "haunted" event in the Springfield cemetery where people dress up like folks from the past that are buried there and speak to you about their lives. A great event. But I was remembering my animals and how much they meant to me and so I just stayed in and slept and worked on Parish Council minutes and slept and thought of how much I wanted to share this space, should I ever get int 257 Central Street, with a dog or cat.  I think I lean towards a cat.
22 October: 2016
Up to Church for the Order of St. Benedict Fellowship and got there a little late.  Did measurements of the windows there and have an idea about some plastic to keep the wind and cold out.  Then back to the apartment and rest and work on some of the electrical hand drawn stuff to make a listing of what each receptacle or light switch is for the city on this proposed project.  Sometimes it moves fast and then for long periods goes very slow indeed.
21 October: 2016
This day got all changed around also. Went to the bank at 9AM to have my name taken off the Tenants Union checking account and the new Treasurer and the new President's names put on. Trouble there and it took 40 minutes or more to accomplish this.  BUT finally I am rid of this millstone. I had turned the check books and such over to the new Treasurer back in June, but they could not "get it together" to go to the bank with me. They can plan and order food to eat and watch TV much of the time but not do this, I am so glad to no longer have any connection with that checkbook and maybe the rumors by the same fellow that threatened to kill me that I was using the tenants union monies for my own personal items will stop now. I hope.  I was called to go to the amity lodge building and await the security camera fellow that was putting in a new box for us, which will cost $2,000+ for that item & it's installation.  Went with Bob to get a solid state drive to back up things from the security cameras and then back to the "office" to work the night on some things.
20 October: 2016
Plans all changed.  At the house at 257 Central at 8:25AM, got in and later Bill Devlin, the Architect, came. I left at 9:45AM and Bill called ahead to tell the folks at Boland School I was coming.  Got to a different classroom, but I think it as God's will as we had students from the class I read to before in grade 4 there in this Grade 5 class.  They even kept me longer to "interview" me and find out about my life and such.  Wonderful hope for the future in these kids.  I then got back to 257 Central and took pictures around the outside.  Did not want to startle Bill, but I guess that was worse as he heard me and came up to investigate.  While I was taking images, with a measuring device to determine clap-board width, etc. a Matt Maddon came up and asked if I had broken into the building.  Apparently someone in the city just took over from someone else a month prior and the word that we were granted access to this property did not get to them. So they thought this was a tax-title auction property and we had broken in.  I get in so much trouble when I am trying to do all I can the right way.  I left there and bicycled to 3300 Main Street for an appointment there and then to savers and got something to raise up my monitor on the computer and then change and go over to Museum Park apartments (the old Sheratan Hotel) to help set up for the meeting of the Armory Quadrangle Civic Association in which we explain the ballot questions.  Then, after that meeting, I went back to the apartment and crashed, so very, very tired.
19 October: 2016
Had an invite so did some work on electrical plans and then to the C3 meeting about crime n the area and back to the apartment for other stuff and rest.
Did a bit of calling around and we are scheduled now for access to make more measurements with our Architect and seriously look at any additional flaws at 257 Central that need to be addressed.  This is getting so expensive but want to save it.  Did not know how to save the family home and so much of my heart went down with that building that contained so much that was important to me.  I, Charlie Knight, feel that so much of my life what I enjoyed or wanted had to be put aside to do what others thought I should do, which often I hated doing.  It seems the same way now, I could scream, but I won't.  Had to email Coleen and say I could not be in Holyoke after all at the Revitalize CDC fit and green work on many houses there. I will miss doing that.
18 October: 2016
Not much done on this project but went to the Nutrition Class at 101 Wasson Ave in the morning, then to the apartment for some work on plans and then to 806 Main Street, (the C3 meeting space) for a Stop Access Coalition meeting and then to Bob's to help with his trash.
17 October: 2016
Stayed in and did some things but not much. Do not feel well at all. Was picked up and went to Agawam Encampment and Springfield Lodge.
16 October: 2016
Sunday, nothing much, not feeling so well, in much of the day.  Went to Church and then back to apartment, feel very low.
15 October: 2016
Month half over with.  Degree Rally Day was postponed from today until sometime in the springtime, assuming still at Friendship Lodge in Belmont, MA.  No vespers, just Order o St. Benedict at Church.  Tiring week.
14 October: 2016
Probably work on stuff at the apartment and then to Boston and stay overnight so I can be there the next day for the Degree Rally Day events.
 13 October: 2016
After I help Bob get some staging for a project he is doing he will take me to Holyoke where I attend the Revitalize CDC veteran's breakfast.  Then back to Springfield and get the bicycle and go to a meeting at 3300 Main Street. Then to a meeting at the Hospital about my hands and finally bicycle to Twin Hills Count;y Club for the MassLandlords meeting. Then bicycle somewhere to sleep for the night
12 October: 2016
Went to apartment and worked on some stuff, got to the post office and checked the mail box, then went to Fed-Ex Office and had drawings I did scanned in and one 8.5 x 11 inch printed of each one.  Then up to College for Campus Civitan meeting to encourage them and talk a little what I did when a student in the club.  We did not have the people committed to come so a proposed activity we have done for 14 years we will not do this year. Then to the Bookstore at STCC and show the lady what I made for a case to carry things in, then get my blood pressure checked and back to the apartment.  Had a meeting with city officials about 257 Central Street and code enforcement, building and such will go there with my architect to "nail down" all that needs to be done.  Six people there and I was so glad the Architect agreed to come and help field questions. We now have a few weeks to get all the current costs done and a listing of every items we will be repairing or replacing.  A lot of work.  But I still think this is the right thing to do. Then to the Central Library meeting on the ballot questions in this election.
11 October: 2016
Class on nutrition, eating and exercise for elders at Commonwealth Care Alliance by 9AM (got there at 9:20AM, taking longer with traffic), then to Building Committee at 32 Byers Street at Noon, back to apartment and get minutes for Green Committee done and then to Maple-High-6Corners Neighborhood Council and a review of the citizen review panel for internal investigations.  Then to Bob's to help with his garbage and stayed there that night.
10 October: 2016
Well is is 10/10 today, Was trying to remember where I was and what I was doing on 10/10/10.  It was only 6 years ago but it seems so far away it could be 60 years ago.  We are so focused on the tyranny of the urgency that we can do almost nothing but respond.  I awoke and felt it was a little cool inside. In some ways it was. The temperature is 79.4 at eye level in my apartment.  The valve for the heating unit is turned OFF. And because some seeps through anyway there has been noise of hot water rushing by for hours now.  The temperature outside NOAA says is 42.  One of my windows does not have insulation and the other 4 are insulated up to about a foot from the top.  This has done a lot to keep me warm in winter.  That is why I am not all excited about having a high powered heating system installed in 257 Central. In the image above you see the room called the "Den"  or "Guest Room" is where I plan on spending most of my time in the winter.  The "bathroom" and the "kitchen" are the other two places I would be at part of the time.  They comprise the "addition" of 1923-1924 and are directly over where the furnace would be.  Then I would zone the "dining room" and "living rooms" separately.  I am being told it would cost to much to zone each one, but that is what I desire to do.  In the springtime and autumn I can see being in the "living room" as I hope to use that as my "studio" and put my art table there when I would NOT be using the "living room area".  So why heat an area you are just walking through and will not be spending time in?  The development team also seems to be insistent on heating the upstairs which I plan at the moment to rarely use. It is basically an attic space that had been used as a storage space and "sleeping loft".  The latter might have been just for "guests" once the addition was put on.  BUT if the stairs are there the assumption is we need to use the space.  I am doubtful, if the current configuration of two rooms is retained, that this space can hold two rooms as far as code is concerned.  I am also certain that overhead ceiling lighting would not meet code as the ceiling height is measured from the finished floor to the lowest ceiling projection and a light fixture and bulb would project to far down.  I see really no reason for a ceiling light in these small areas and would just as well have at least one switchable receptacle (outlet) that a wall hanging light can be plugged into to cover such.  And there is some "wisdom" to putting such a light over the existing window, or near such, so the light source is constant whether it be in the daytime or not. Personally, for right now, I say put in outlets and let it go at that.  The point of all of this is that I see no sense in constantly heating a space that will not be used.  I see a lot of sense in providing some sort of blocking so that the warm air in a room does not get to the window.  In my current apartment I have drapes over all windows and especially over the one window that is not covered with a curtain and foam insulation.  Hence the heated air hits the drapes and most of it bounces back into the room.  As I said, it was 79 degrees Fahrenheit in the room with the one window not insulated at eye and yet the temperature outside was recorded at 42.  That is a 37 degree increase and I am certain at least 20 degrees of that is due to the air not hitting the window glass directly.  AND I have the heating system turned OFF currently to that room. Therefore I see no need to heat rooms that will not be used just for the sake of having them heated.  Yet I do see the value in paying the extra money and installing the zones so these areas can be heated and then not using those zones most of the time.  If I had lots of money and could pay for this myself, then I would most probably not do it this way.  BUT I must borrow and hence I  need to also make this house as "resalable" for my borrowers as possible.  This is against all the principles of a "Not So Big House" but I see the need when you were not competent enough to be able to raise and save money to be able to do it without financial backing.  I am trying to save a bit of history here and some of me is so frustrated I would just as well walk away from this and this area and even life itself.  I feel so guilty for having cost the taxpayers so much and no one wants to hire me so I see no value in my life at all.  IF I am so blessed as to get and rehab this house, a part of me wants to get a cat or kitten from the animal shelter here and just live with it much of the time and mabye not go out anywhere to see anyone for much of the time for a few months.  Much of what I see in social life I find to be anathema and find NO joy at all in what much of society around me craves.  I find no understanding as to why people have to talk with other people and relate things back and forth in order to feel good about a decision or even make it in the first place.  Maybe I am "klingon"  like, but I find pleasure in interactive intercourse when it is light and does not involve deep interpersonal involvement.  But when we are talking about close relationships, then I am moving "out of the room" in a hurry.  So, after the Friday conference with those involved in the rehab of this house I find myself feeling like I am moving towards some of the people in Sara Susanka's "Not So Big House" books positions.  It looks like what will be redone is not what I want but what they want done so it can be resold to someone else that wants to have the building "just like the other people have" and I find that whole concept revolting.  Therefore, what I find to be an idea that makes me want to vomit, is apparently what most people find comfort and enjoyment in.  As an only child I have often looked at my society as a person looking in and not a part of it.  Sort of like an anthropologist might look at our society.  I am interested not with "following" the conventions as I am in understanding what they are and why they exist.  I feel so guilty for staying down here and not returning to the Berkshires and trying to subsist on some sort of part time jobs and repairing the house as best I could.  Instead I tried to learn the skills I was told were needed now that I was nearing and then over 50 and would not be hired otherwise.  Over 23 years have passed my Dad died and I feel I have wasted most of those years in wrong decisions.  The worst is I feel I  have not done what God asked me to do.  And event that, the Church, in the United States at least, is becoming something that I can find no comfort in.  It is moving towards what society feels is a "feel good" situation.  It is focused about being a "family" and getting something from the interaction with others that relates to how the person feels and is "included" into the "family",  so much of it now is something I desire to run away from.  If a social intercourse activity is all about the pleasure of those people involved, I have NO desire to be a part of that or be pleasured.  If the social activity is about helping someone to making something better for all, then "count me in", I do want to be a part of that.  This was to be a short entry, and look how it has ended up.  I am hoping some one will read these lines, if they exist at all in the future (as I am writing them on something with as much concreteness as "the wind"), and will understand how I have been trying most of my life to fulfill the medical people's requirements that I not get married and have a child.  In order to NOT want to couple with a female and produce a child, I need to always be alert to "kill" any activity that might move towards (in any way) establishing any form of a relationship that might evolve or develop into some conditions that might fosert the notion that sexual intercourse was a desirable outcome of those interactions.   Hence, anything that makes me "feel good" in any way is suspect and immediately the "alarms" go off and I must consciously fight mentally against such a horrible situation.   You can only stop a wagon at the top of the hill, not while it is going down the hill.  The point is that the time to stop something is in this case, before it begins.  So I have developed a gregarious nature and enjoy public interractions with people when what I do can help towards the good of all, and at the same time shun ALL intimate activities with anyone.  As soon as any of this seems to be developing in the direction most people find enjoyment in something like caring and close interpersonal activities, I am frightened that this might go further and I would eventually end up committing the sin of contaminating the gene pool through reproduction.   I say all of this as to explain why I want to build and live in this house.  I want to find a place to live where I can plan time to be alone or with an animal and peacefully prepare to die.  To be forced to interact with other people, even to the point of them cooking food for me and my being tortured by having to eat with others or interact wtih others as some one else wants me to do, is the closest thing I can think of that would be "Hell" on earth for me.  In many ways I think many people who were only children in their families feel the same.  Hence, I fear being placed in a nursing home because if that were to happen I would know the only way "out" would be death, and my whole being would be focused on achieving that "way out". A way out of what would be constant torture, pain and suffering and what would be written down by the "professionals" as a higher quality of life because it is what they want and of course if they want it you must also.   This all relates to this building and S.C.A.R.F. as a whole in that we need to stop and ask a lot of questions and find out what the people we want to help want in a building to live in and what they consider as "HOME".  It might look far different from what you or I might call "home".  Our job is to help those who have experienced a traumatic event in their lives to obtain and rehab a house to gain a certificate of occupancy and then spend the rest of a 10 year period remodeling that building to make it finally the "home" that "fits" their way of living.  Not what we think would be good.  Not what we think would fetch the best place "in the marketplace" in selling the building.  The whole event must be "client centered" and yet we need the pot-luck type of meals once a month to feed the need most of society has to do things "together" and be a part of something bigger than themselves, club, or group or "family".  Our job is NOT to "help" someone as much as it is to enable the situations to occur where they can "help themselves" as it is the person that suffered the traumatic event, not us, that needs to be the one that "rebuilds" their lives.  It is only this type of "rebuilding" that will be constant and remain active and supporting them as they move forward into the next "chapter" of their sojourn on this planet and in this life.  Let us all remember it is all about them, not us.
09 October: 2016
This is the second Sunday of the month, and it should be Parish Council Sunday.  After Church it will be more things at lodge & apartment.  I have so much work to be done here in Springfield and other places and very few seem to understand that it is difficult for me to be 3 places at once as I age.  I  want to do some research before we speak with the city people about what we have to do according to HUD rules. Nothing looks bright any more.  Now by that I do not mean that the projects will not get done. I mean it is hard getting them to allow the work to be done the way I desire, slowly, and with most of the lower skilled activities being done "over time" by the new homeowner.  Is what I am proposing that daft?  I just want to rebuild people as well as buildings, both of which have been through life altering traumatic events.  Part of the "fixing" is the restoring the confidence that the person is capable of doing things again.  Ask any former "battered wife".  The idea of painting the walls and doing so over a period of 3 - 6 months over the weekends, or other small tasks like this should not be a big thing to grasp.  I just want to reduce the mortgage price by eliminating most of the labor cost associated with things I might call "decorating" tasks. Which can include sanding floors, etc.  All a low skilled worker can do I think a homeowner can be taught to do.


08 October: 2016
Benedictine community at St.Stephen Orthodox Church, then to apartment to do some email, then to the storage space to move things around, then back to church for vespers and then wherever to sleep.  I feel very discouraged and wonder if I have any value in life.  Feel like I fail at most I try to do.  That means that I feel I fail at the goals I have set.  Not anyone else' assessment.  I am seriously questioning what improvements, if any, I provide to life. I am just not getting things done and I have had 6 weeks or more to do some things, probably more like 7 weeks and I will try and get some of it done today.  So much of the time I have pretty much NO self confidence because of my in ability, it seems, to accomplish the tasks I have agreed to do on time.
07 October: 2016
Confusion on when we are meeting, still not figured out by 10:25AM.  Don't know if I am to blame for that or not.  Will eat some breakfast and was checking on bicycles. It looks like it is only about $50 or $60 more, without tax, to buy another bicycle with finders than to get fenders for this mountain bike that I have and that I am so thankful for but increasingly is so hard to pedal.  I looked at another Kent bike today that is meant for commuting.  And tomorrow it is the Benedictine Fellowship and then move things upstairs in the storage space.  It feels like so much is just not happening and that has been the case for about two months now.  By next week I hope to have the principles of S.C.A.R.F. as relates to 257 Central Street clearly laid out and when we talk with city officials about HUD requirements maybe I can show what we want to do now and what we want to do later.   We had the meeting at my current apartment and I guess it went OK, but what I want is all wrong and the cheapest way to do it is the way that is more expensive than I thought and the city is requiring I put in thousands of dollars worth of pavement I will never use. And the list goes on.  Looks like I will be required to put in things that once the certificate of occupancy is granted will most probably NEVER be used, but it is a requirement of the city or someone that these extra things be put in.  Looks like all the principles of S.C.A.R.F. are being ignored for me and if I can not achieve these things with a house for myself how can I do them for anyone else.  It all comes down to money and people thinking we have to make something so the lender can sell it when you default on payments or die.  Somehow I think that way of viewing things is all wrong. BUT this is what I gather we are dealing with. I am not saying my team of people are thinking this way, but I gather from their past experience this is the way the "officials" that must approve these things often look at things.  I ask all to pray and see if there is any way you can give some advice or input.  It has now been 23 years after my father died and I think about 21 or 22 years after I started living in my car in Springfield, MA.  Then it was training at MCDI, other workshops, UMass, STCC etc.  BUT now I guess I am un-hireable.
06 October: 2016
Much to do. Could not sleep so at the computer. Got an email that the architect and I are to meet with a city planner to discuss what the HUD rules are for the rehab of this building.  Progress at least in finding out what we MUST do and what we can let be done at a later date.  This is some movement towards clarity, like the sun starting to "burn off the fog" so you can accurately "get a lay of the land".  I am encouraged.  So it is 4AM, I need to get some rest as I am now tired again (got on computer when I could not sleep) and then awaken by 5:30 or 6AM to move the stuff out of the closet to the pest control people can get in there to put something down and then be on a bus to Northampton (NoHo, but I rather say NoHa) for an individual services committee meeting of the Western Mass. Regional Network to End Homelessness and then back to the apartment at 32 Byers Street for a meeting with the property management people and then put things back in the apartment and prepare for the Friday meeting and then go somewhere else to sleep.  That is what was planned at 4AM, we will see what actually happens.Got to the community policing meeting and then to the Historic Commission and was advised to put in a request to meet with them formally about the new windows and changes and such and the first opportunity for that would be November 3rd as the request has to be in over two weeks before the meeting date.  I am to show current and future windows as how they would look from the street (Central).  So it is back to the drawing boards again.  Thanks for praying and thinking of me.  Blessings to all and safety for those in the FL area.
05 October: 2016
Got over to apartment and worked on some stuff on the computer delineating what the property management agreement for the building I am in now that was just signed says that the new property manager will do and what the owner agrees to do.  This is very enlightening to do when you cut out all the extra words and "boil it down" to see just what has agreed upon.  I felt this was needful as there are "new rules" and a  "game changer" with regards to what we (I am on the board of directors currently that comprises what is called the owner) can demand for our tenants and what rights have been "signed away" by signing this document.  The board of directors did not have this document in hand when the decision was made to consider using this company and we are told the length was agreed to end in June of 2017 instead of June of 2019.  Much is sort of "locked in" and for the first time in over 20 years of operating this rental structure it looks like the ability to accomplish some things has been "signed away" and the work done to identify what we want and such is no longer our option.  Now I wonder what I spent the 11 to 22 hours or so pouring over things and identifying what we wanted to have inserted and agonizing over what needed to happen in order to retain the "spirit" of this project when the person I did this for (upon their request) used none of the data and the excuse was because their version of Microsoft word showed all the corrections made since the time the document (which had been given to me only that week Tuesday, and I saw it Wednesday and had to have the work done by Thursday night or early Friday morning before 8AM) was first created by others.  I can understand this "feature" but would like to have the default be that desplaying it is turned off. Right now Microsoft has the default that it is displayed.  So I finished that and when another board member that lives in the building goes over the papers to see if I "got it right" I will send it out to the board President and some others.  I ate and then rushed over to Baystate Hospital for that consultation about the tests that had been taken months ago and the technician indicated I might need to have surgery on both wrists to combat a carpel tunnel situation.   Got there and the appointment had been "bumped" over to next Thursday but no one seemed to have told me. Bet I get a letter in the male tomorrow telling me about that change.  Then I took a bath once I got back to the apartment as now I was all sweaty, and walked down to the Armory Quadrangle Civic Association's office for the board meeting which I chaired as (as co-President) as our main President was at another meeting that was going to go longer than anticipated when she agreed to be at it.  We discussed many things from an agenda prepared and I got out before the time of 5:30PM, but only just under, as I had told my ride I would be out from 5 to 5:30PM.  I started walking (guess that was a wrong move) and they honked the horn at me and I crossed the street to get to them, a comedy of errors all away around.  We then went to the Amity Lodge meeting that was being held at the Springfield Lodge hall and then someone else brought me back to the apartment to stay the night and deposit my rental check in the drop box for the same since I was not able to speak with the property manager before I had to leave for Weathersfield, CT, yesterday.  I noticed this morning when I got to the apartment that a note was on my door that must have been put there sometime after 2PM Tuesday saying that Thursday they would be coming into the apartment to put down things for insects and mice like they did in May.  Hence they want everything out off the closet floor (which we use the closet for storage) and open under the kitchen sink and the bathroom sink. I called and the pest control people say having it clear to the toilet nearby will be ok. That is what happened in May.  I have the heat turned off in my apartment thus discouraging mice to come in out of the cold into my space.   Hope to sleep some tonight. Put a rug I got down in the bathroom so that the floor is warmer in the winter there.  Got a note after midnight a meeting is to happen Friday at my apartment about this project.
04 October: 2016
This morning I got to 101 Wasson Ave by 8:30AM, for the Food and Nutrition class.  Then to Rehab at 12:30PM, thank God it is the last one. I have only felt the pain in my back subside this afternoon some and actually more like 8or 9PM. It hurt so bad and sore throat that I stayed away from Lodge and because of the sickness I did not get to the Big E after all.  I had a seat to hear Dr. Tolin this afternoon in Wethersfield, but my ride can not get there until 30 or 45 min after the lecture starts. So I guess I did cancel and appointment and got down there by train ( the Vermonter to Hartford) and then local bus public transportation (the CT 55x that another bus graciously took me and another wayward rider to) and was there before anyone esle.  The lecture was fantastic as Dr. Tolin an expert in the field of hoarding and he has a research study going on where people can get some help for free while a part of that study that lasts over many months. My ride arrived and could not get into the building.  When someone came out then she got in and after the event we went and ate at a restaurant.  This was a long and tiring but very nice day. And I doubt myself constantly and often think that if someone helps in this project I might be somehow hurting them.  It is a strange bird that I am, but this house seems to be a hope to move things around and start helping people help themselves.  And I guess I am wanting to try this out on myself.  Am I actually just running away from things I think God has told me to do, yup I am.  But this is a much lesser task and if I can't accomplish this, how can I do anything else.  So what I am saying is that if you see any value in S.C.A.R.F. and this idea of rehabbing the abandoned and vacant houses in this country and helping people who have had traumatic events happen to them to rehab a house and make it their home and rehab themselves at the same time.  Maybe I am just a foolish old man with silly dreams. BUT if you have prayed and thought about this and you feel that this is a Good idea and think you can help, please call me.  It plagues me greatly that I did not in some way get to live with my female friend and help her so she did not get put in a nursing home.   But it brings another aspect to mind. Maybe we need, when helping an elder, to try and convince them to set aside another bedroom and make enough extra room so they could have another person live with them, if they should need it.  In Massachusetts the minimum standards for human habitation (once called Article II of the State Sanitary Code) currently state that you need 150 square feet of living area and 70 square feet of sleeping area for one person, that is 220 square feet. But a second person is not double that amount.  Rather it is 100 feet for each additional person  and for sleeping it is 50 square feet for each person. So instead of 440 is is only 150 plus 100 and for sleeping it is 50 plus 50, Hence 250 and 100 makes 350 square feet for two people.  In this manner a 250 square feet or a little bigger than a 11x11.3 room for each person or two rooms at about that size would give about 250 square feet of sace.  Ad another 10x10 foot room or two rooms at a minimum of 10x7 feet and you have the additional space needed.  So the elder can be in the home they have rehabbed and with another person living in that same apartment, even if they don't eat together the one can watch over the other and keep the owner out of some sort of a "facility" for a long time if not their entire lifetime.  In this case (257 Central St.) the "den" or extra room the bathroom and the kitchen and the so called "Dining"  room (because it is off of the kitchen) would provide the space needed.   To be certain some ingenious actions to place something like a Murphy bed or a "hideaway" type of sofa bed in the so called "living room" would be certain to be enough room even to have that be able to do "double duty" as a sleeping room.  The point is that even this little old house, without including the upstairs could legally and comfortably fit two people.  Do you catch the idea, do you see the dream?  If so, please do contact me at ceknight.spfd@gmail.com and tell me. I truthfully need all the encouragement I can get.  Thanks.
03 October: 2016
So very sick. Will call at 8AM and might not report anything here until a day or so later.  I have finished the wiring diagrams and now will calculate the feet of wire probably needed. Will go with the price for 12-2 although we will most probably use 14-2.  Some will be heavier and we need to wire and plumb for the washer and dryer I am told to pass current codes.  So much confusion.  Some say we don't have to do some things since it is an historic building and others say we do on the inside as it has to be up to standards for people to live in today.  I had finished the placement of items in the bathroom and if I go to another configuration it will be just less feet, so we will finish the plumbing pencil drawings with the longer spans noted.  I hope I get well soon.  Called the Commonwealth Care Alliance nurse number, busy signal only. Called Mason Square Neighborhood Health Clinic and they called back. They will have a nurse call me to discuss the issue and see if I must be seen or can treat it myself. Back still hurts, throat still sore. BUT I feel a tiny bit better.
02 October: 2016
Church Sunday was not an option for me.  I hurt so much that I sent a email saying I could not come.   I have been gargling with a mouth wash every 4-5 hours an sleeping as much as I could. The muscles in the lower back on my left side are all "bunched up" it feels like. I felt that unless I found a reduced ticket to the Big E;  I could not see spending $15 for something I will not appreciate much. I think I will wait and go to the Home Show in March or the $10 Home Show at the Hartford Convention Center later on this month (28-30th). So much to do, & so tired is what I wrote the other day and now I hurt so much I ca do almost nothing.  It is now 11:52PM on Sunday and the pain is unbearable, or so it seems.  Might take a hot bath, have used the hot water bottle.  I do not have a good feeling. Online it suggests that acute sinusitis might be the problem and I know I had to do lots of stuff to get my nose unblocked, so maybe the neti pot is a good idea.    The other suggestion online is Viral Pharyngitis and they say most medicines will not help this, just rest and such.  So I guess I contact the clinic early in the morning.  All sorts of appointments for Tuesday starting at 8AM, so I have no time to be sick.


01 October: 2016
Crash Course in Landlording this morning, walked there to the Hilton Garden Hotel near the Basketball Hall of Fame just off 91 by 8am as I was so distraught about the building I am living in having to sign a property management agreement that contained none of the safeguards of the agreement with the old company and pretty much a license to steal.  I am convinced someone, and it might be myself, will need to create a property management company to understand the difficulties people have who have become homeless and been shredded through the system of "helps" that they are made to go through just in order to live.  Within a week both my building and the homeless shelter in this city seem to have voted to hand themselves over to entities that I have no confidence in as groups that might put the needs of the people we serve before their own profit desires.  So very sad. The event ended by 1PM with the awarding of the certificates for those the 16 people that were there.  The class was purposefully capped at 16 so there would be more time for interactions and questions.  We played a role playing game that tested much of what we had learned.  It was a fascinating experience. In the past I had taken a course covering the basics according to laws with John Fisher at HAP in 2014 and before in 2010, and a few other times. Each time I take such a course I seem to learn more and be more confident in what I do already know.  I felt so despondent I did not feel like doing anything for the rest of the day. The senior day admissions were only through Thursday, so the option of going to the Big E was out.  Probably can not afford to go this year.  By nightfall I was not very well and misunderstood when my ride what there to go to the church building and bring some things in.  I thought I would bring other things when I went to church the next day.  By midnight I had a sore throat and was so very sick, ached all over and just plain hurt.  I also made a new medications chart to record medications to be taken only once a day, Patient Request as Needed.  I do create these documents for "fun".
October Begins

30 September: 2016
Awoke so tired, discouraged and depressed. Today is the last day of my extended "preferred developer" extended status. I need to write some things and seek another extension.  If I get the approval I wonder if the ground will be thawed enough for even electricity to be brought to the building for workmen to work.  Got some calls this morning before I got up and people are asking me to do things for them.  I am also so tired I think I might go back to bed by 8:30AM and see if I can sleep some.  Must try and get some things together by noontime. Will try and email folks at Uptown Construction to see if we can meet today.  Now to rest for a bit.  Tomorrow is the Crash Course in Landlording�.    I also want to get to college and see about some tools and such at the bookstore and visit with some folks, but maybe another day on that.
YOU prayers and offers of support are so greatly appreciated.  I just 'know' this idea that is currently called "S.C.A.R.F." is a great idea, but I don't seem to be getting much of anywhere with an speed and psychologically I just wonder if I am "out of steam" and just  "to old to do anything" as some have suggested.  Do write through email or at the secure Post Office box for S.C.A.R.F. and myself at P.O. Box 30538, Springfield, MA 01103.  Thank you so much your words are such encouragement.  I Found out why this web page did not show correctly, a "forbidden word"  had been used and that is apparently a 'no-no' with this web server.  Just like a bicycle helmet was found to be a dangerous weapon when I went to a court house recently. So I will fix it and upload this again.  Got good news from the city as I had replied and sent them some of the wiring diagrams I had been working on. They are suggesting I get together with my architect and contractors and see what they can come up with and see what time they need and then get back to the city so maybe we can get this project on the road to being accomplished.  Great news for me.  BUT much more work ahead.
I am going to bed early to rest for the big "Crash Course in Landlording" that is at the Hilton Gardens Hotel tomorrow at 8AM.  Looks like that will be the bright spot in the day as rain is to wash us quite a bit tonight and tomorrow, or so they are predicting.
29 September: 2016
Worked on comparing the suggested Property Management Agreement with what we had before and tired to marry the two a bit with notes.  Then noted I have 12:30PM the time to be a rehab. Rushed down by bicycle, the road is clogged with pieces of scrap metal being guided along by distracted drivers, UGH! And then back to the apartment.  Lay down and slept.  So much I should do but need to get this thing done by evening. The board president must meet with the people to sign this thing Friday morning.  So I plugged at it. Got some things in there and sent it off by email at about 5PM.  Went to bed and slept some and ate some.  Then got up and worked on it again noting what was omitted and what was added. Sent that off at 10PM or so. To late to leave now so just stayed in the apartment.  It is no fun to feel like a prisoner in the space you rent because of some other person's actions but since that person is a drunk it is "ok" and we have to "understand" his limitations.  The majority of the tenants in this building I have been in for over 20 years seem to think that their desires come first and if they have an alcohol or drug or some other addiction then the rest of the world needs to accommodate them and they have no responsibility to alter their behaviors. I have been so wanting to help people but the majority of the folks living in this building are just plain "high maintenance" with little or no sense of social responsibility.  For over 20 years I have watched, asked and  even cajoled folks to attend  meetings and be a part of the larger neighborhood and improve the quality of life for all.   This is why Austin Miller , of blessed memory, and others have advocated for a 60/40 mix with no more than 40% being subsidized housing of any kind.  That way the general population is not folks dependent on others for everything and we do not have a "culture of entitlement" in which they live.  The concepts of S.C.A.R.F. are pretty much against that culture of entitlement and seek to show gratitude and thankfulness for the people that help and encourage training and help from all who can give it so that our people learn to do most of the so called "decorating" and minor remodeling things themselves over a 5-10 year period on weekends, etc.  In this manner their self confidence is built up and they are an integral part of the rehab team and not some folks that paint a little and have no idea how much of it got done.  BUT most of all the new homeowner is not saddled with an extremely high mortgage bill covering items they could have done, over time, themselves.  Why is this concept so hard for people to grasp. It is the same concept used with community "barn raising" from a time we seem to collectively romanticize about and admire.  I am so tired, went to bed and got up 3 times before I retired for the night. And then will most probably awake early, be on computer,  and then back at rest again and will not be surprised if the best rest is at 7AM and someone calls.
28 September: 2016
Slept some, not much, and then bicycled back to apartment after setting plants out and watering them at Bob's place.  So much to do this week and I feel pressured on all sides and just want to hide away and ignore it all.  Did more work on the stuff for the city and finally got something done I could take an image of .   Need to get it photo copied somewhere, but do not know where.  I am a bit limited as I go most places by bicycle.  I cut and pasted symbols so it does not roll up well.  I got to the latex test and it took much longer than anticipated. Then to Bob's to take in the plants. I had asked him about something but he had not been able to do it and so I took that extra time. Got the plants in and then bicycled back to the apartment, so sweaty by now. Took a quick bath and changed clothing and up to STCC for the Council Presidents night where I was to go as Wayn represented Carol Costa and I as the other co-President. This was a night to honor with a dinner and to inform the neighborhood council and association's leadership with the projects the city is doing and plans for the future so we have  "the real scoop" and not just rumors.  Waited with Wayn for his bus and got back to the apartment and just hid there while trying to work on alterations to the Property Management Agreement that might put back in some of the safeguards we wanted for the people of our building.  I am discouraged with this project.  Mos of what I did however was to surf the internet and sleep.  It was a bit more restful for me and I ate well from the food that had been given to me Monday (more food than people on that day as I guess it was "Springfield Day" at the Big E.  Noticed I need to sweep and mop this room again, it get's dirty so fast it seems.  But there is no wax on the floor and I did not get to doing that before I moved in.  Got & read the previous and this newly suggested (First saw it Wednesday and it is for different times and all sorts of different language than the one we saw before as it is a "boiler plate" agreement meant for a tax Credit property, which we are not, using a normal rental population, which we are not) management agreement.
27 September: 2016
Got back to apartment and then was asked to speak with a tenant that was so concerned about some minor surgery she was having to help her be able to breath better and not be vomiting so much. She was so worried about it.  Then got back to apartment and had forgotten a meeting I was go go to at 9AM. Got the call at 9:30AM and rushed over there by bicycle for the informational session at 101 Wasson Ave. Will be taking these classes learning about eating and how to do this mentally. I have no great desire to eat and it is a chore for me. So I have to approach it mentally.   I enjoyed what I saw and was given about 26 pages of material which I read as I was waiting for my rehab appointment.  Came early as it seemed no sense to bicycle to the apartment, and then leave in 15-20 minutes to bicycle back to the rehab place that was only a block or so away from the firs meeting the other side of the rail road tracks.  Went to Savers and bought some stuff, of which about $10 worth I found out I could not use, story of my life.  I was looking for electrical symbol templates, knew I had them once. Got back to apartment and worked on stuff for the city and made another appointment for the latex test.  Then went to the Green Committee meeting after the minutes from the meeting Monday were typed up.  From the Green Committee I sat in on the hearing meeting of the city council and then I bicycled to Bob's place to help him with his garbage and trash and stay away from the fellow that threatened my life.  Would be so good to get this building and not be having to sleep most nights somewhere else.  I think I can sleep in the apartment if I do NOT come out of it from 9PM to 7AM.  I think the counselors are afraid I will socialize and  he will be present and some sort of an altercation might happen.  This is NOT a 60/40 mix of market rent/subsidized units and therefore all the mess and troubles we now find that comes with full subsidized units is present here and then some because we only take people that are homeless at the time  they make the application to live here.  So much discussion and disagreement about the decision to try this property management company that has been helping after the first one sold their management business to them.  So tired tonight & so discouraged about this project.
26 September: 2016
Slept elsewhere and then got to apartment to work on Board of Directors meeting for 32 Byers Street, Inc.  Looks like a forced acceptance of a certain property management company as the rest of the board would not allow an RFP to be put out.  Board meeting was not a good one.  Property management people are not very willing to follow what is able to happen, want things done in a specific way that is the way they are used to doing things but not in the best interests of the tenants of this building.  That is my view only.  BUT I have warned people about this group for months.   I think they are well meaning, just clueless as to how to interface with people of the sub population our tenants must be drawn from.  Most probably it is time to set up a separate corporation just to do the work we know must be done.  After the meeting I tried to do the minutes and work on some electrical plans for the city regarding this property.  I know I gave this information before.  And I paid almost $200 which is about a third of my month's money to spend, on a class to happen Saturday, October 1st called a Crash Course on Landlording by MassLandlords as I want to know about this subject and property management from my past experience with at least two property management companies that apparently know how to collect rents and spend money but seem to be clueless as to the management of properties and relationships between tenants that make for an enjoyable place to live in.  Went with Bob to do some stuff and then sleep over there as I am not allowed to sleep at the apartment much because of the person who threatened my life is still here.
25 September:2016
Church at St. George as St. Stephen had most of the men at the Retreat in New Hampshire.  I did not go. Was with my friend who's wife died in France and he could not get over to the funeral (he is recuperating from a knee replacement operation).  Attended luncheon to thank those who helped at Glendi celebration and sang in the choir as I used to when regularly attending that Church.  So thankful for what God is doing amongst the men of St. Stephen Orthodox Church.  Good things happening.

24 September: 2016
No Vespers, depends on how much I get done, I was not able to get up to All Saints of America for worship tomorrow.  Got more things done here first on city requests.
23 September: 2016
Up in the wee hours of the morning, can not sleep so worried about this person to inspect how I am living.  Only a month ago a friend got put in a nursing home after such a visit.  I do not trust any of these "helping" folks.  After this I will most probably go down to court and maybe over to the building department and code enforcement to try and ask a few more question.  Will try and follow through with buying that Study Bible a friend asked me to order and I get part way to it and somehow it just never gets done.  Do not know what the rest of the day holds.  Got to get a firm handle on plumbing and wiring cost at the bare minimum. Probably help with replacing a toilet for a friend.  Will start praying for the Men's Retreat that begins in New Hampshire today.  May they truly have a "touch from God".
22 September: 2016
Off to the Rehab, just got better from the Monday's rehab session by about 4AM. Oh how I hurt.  They did some things and I still think more happened in that bicycle accident when the car ran into me that I thought back then. BUT I did not get the driver's information so I guess I just have to live with it.  Pain get's worse by the day.  Went to stay and read and sort some papers and then went to a Doctor's office.  Made a call to Commonwealth Care Alliance as I had not heard back from the folks that said they would "look into" the "Eat Well, Feel Swell" workshop on healthy eating that starts at 9AM next Tuesday at 101 Wasson Ave.  I got through and the person signed me up.  When I got back there was a message from them.  Apparently the "referal" had come through while I was a rehab, so I am all set for that workshop and some education on healty eating & food buying. Food stamps is reduced now.   Had the appointment down for 2PM, and it is, but on December 21 and not September 22.  Don't know how that error came, and I was certain I wrote it down right.  So off to the apartment and get ready for the Rally on Housing needs at the end of a march from STCC to Court Square.  There was a girl at the rally that I liked what she had inked on her arm. It said "All we have to decide, is what to do with the time that is given us." Oh how much I like that saying and asked her permission to take an image of it. Many people came to speak and this image is of Michaelann Bewsee speaking to some of the crowd of people there.  Some of it, I guess, was uploaded live to facebook and some images are here. Then I went back to the apartment and spent time sweeping and mopping in preparation from the visit from the Commonwealth Care Alliance person that is to inspect my apartment to see what kind of "help" she thinks I might need.  At abut 1AM the next day I finally got things back in place and tried to sleep.  Not successful, but watched some pbs tv from 3-5AM.
21 September: 2016
Nothing much done today. Computer, sin, selfishness, sadness, sorrow, feel maybe this whole thing is "slipping away from me" and I wonder if I am able to accomplish this or anything else.  Today I made the final decision NOT to go with the Church men's group to the retreat in New Hampshire I have joined them with for years.  I need to do all I can this weekend and next week to try and get something to the city and join with others in fighting requirements that might jepardize the integity of this house and it's historical significance to this city for a dubious "modernization" effort.  I stayed in and my back was so much worse.  I did not much all day but surf the internet and bath and try to get better.  So much sadness and doubt and wondering if I am able to do this or anything or am I just a "piece of junk" that is just waiting to die.  Did not want to do anything, but Bob asked me to come and him make more DVD's on the history of Air Force One, so I did before and then back to sleep and think.
20 September: 20216
Did not get up early, hurt so badly. At computer but got a call to come in and see a clinician at 1PM, so I did not respond to the call I got from the Commonwealth Care Alliance, Senior Care Options people as I could go a block over or so and talk with them today. BUT I could not see my "worker" or whatever a 'MA' is.  Then back to the apartment and eat some.  Hurt something awful, but someone needs me to go with them and cut a cd, we need to buy the cd and holders and I am to print some things I made a cover design for about Air Force One.  So I will leave for that now, 4PM as the ride has arrived and put this up Wednesday.
19 September: 2016
Did not get much done in the morning, so tired.  Got going at 9:AM for what I thought was a 10AM appointment, be there at 9:30AM to check in.  Well instead it was a 11AM appointment and someone thought they would tell me earlier to make certain I was there I guess.  So I sat there for a few hours before I was called in. They they said I was  "out of order" and had to go back to the waiting room.  So back and a half hour later or so I am called in. See Dr. Plummber and give her a thank-you card. She thinks there is nothing can be done about the sores at my bottom but they have ordered some cream, I guess to desensitize stuff. Then to Dr. McGovern and he has me not take some medicines for a week and I come back next week to see if I have developed an allergic reaction to latex.  Then to Rehab and oh did I hurt when I left there at Bernie Ave. Then back to the apartment and wait until I am picked up for the Agawam Encampment and Lodge meetings.  Then back to the apartment and do the minutes and lay down. Hurt all night.
18 September: 2016
Got up late and bicycled to the apartment, bathed and bicycled to St. George for Divine Liturgy, it was "home" Sunday.  Then left early and not go to the coffee hour and such because it started to rain. BUT I got caught in the rain and had to seek shelter at an overhang.  So I stayed there and watched the "Rich Port" day parade with various dignitaries I knew walking in the parade.  Then I got back to the apartment and stayed there as I had to get to various meetings Monday morning.

17 September: 2016
Well I was here, so I went to the park and helped with the AQCA picnic. We served over 200 helpings of hot dogs and hamburgers, some people snuck in the line a second tiem, so that meant we could not serve 200 people, but that is an aspect of some people that gravitate to a city, they want everything for nothing and do not care if they are taking food from someone else's mouth.   Stefi came to late to eat but in time to help close down the thing and pack up the tables and chairs. I had eaten the lsat hot-dog available, so I guess I was the "last dog hung".  Stefi took me back to the apartment with some boxes I saved, someone stole the milk crate I had, and I rested and then bicycled up for Vespers at 5:30PM.  Then back to the sleeping place and try and rest. I am so tired and discouraged.
16 September: 2016
Got to the morning meeting late, thought it was 9:30, it was 8:30AM.  Then checked the mail and came back to the apartment.  Took some boxes to storage and spoke with Earl Miller of the RLC about their move.  Then do some updating and recording of things and wait for a 1PM meetings with a Commonwealth Care Alliance, Senior Care Options however the lady just called at 1PM and she is at an event in many miles away that was to start at 11AM and they just got started now, so she can not make it today and will call me Monday to re-schedule . That is OK, I  have meetings with my primary care Physician, Allergist, and Rehab people on Monday and then Springfield Lodge and Agawam Encampment again.   I do need to spend at least one day totally on getting information for the city.  I will rest a bit, then bicycle down to Main Street and then Franklin Street to try and ge t mail back to people that got delivered to the places they are no longer at.  Finally I will make a poster for the AQCA picnic tomorrow showing where the "beat team" community policing meeting is for this sector (E) each month, and where it has been held in the past.
15 September: 2016
Thought person that owns house at sleeping place needed me but left at 11:15AM to meet with Earl of the Recovery Learning Community about my own lack of confidence and items about this building.  Then some packing of stuff to go to storage and sweep the floors, have not been able to do much for weeks since was helping an older man who had a hip and then a knee replacement operation.   Then to the Friends of the Homeless where the board of directors voted to merge with Clinical Support Options, as the July MassLive article said would happen.  I saw NO need for this as far as Friends of the Homeless is concerned, and yet since CSO gets almost all of it's money from government sources and since I expect a horrible downturn in the economy as nation after nation become economically insolvent (as started last summer) I saw the votes were going, with previously mailed in votes already counted for the merger and agreed because I believe that only the staff and workers of Friends of the Homeless will be able to keep the good work of Clinical Support Options going once the government subsidies and support dry up, as I expect them to before the decade is out and be totally gone in another 15 years.  I hope I am wrong, but I expect a world wide economic downturn that will make the "great depression" look like a Sunday School end of year picnic in the Summer with double ice cream servings for everyone.  Only a few economists are predicting this, but I say you need to have your money in real estate or other tangible things because once currency after another will fail and when it is noticed by "John. Q. Public" it will be to late to remedy anything. After this I went to the Armory Quadrangle Civic Association's Monthly meeting, this time at Museum Park apartments (the old Sheraton Hotel/Motel) where peopel from the Mayor's office, Police Dept, and some members of the Citizen Review Board told of the review board's activities and answered questions from the public.  After this I got back to the apartment and stayed here to pack up stuff and prepare for a morning meeting.
14 September: 2016
Overslept and got the unaccompanied youth committee meeting in Holyoke late.  Then took bus back and went straight to 3300 Main St. and read until my Clinician appointment.  Form there to the plastic bag ban hearing at city hall, room to the left of the city council office with councilman Adam Gomez as chair.  No Oblate of the order of St. Benedict meeting at Church, so earlier to the sleeping place after doing some work at computer in apartment.
13 September: 2016
Some stuff at apartment on computer and lost track of time.  Got to Wassen Ave and Commonwealth Care Alliance, Senior Care option. It is so horrible to have to do this but all the medical professionals want me to sign up. I think it is a greased skin to a death bed in a nursing home, just like food stamps are tickets to poverty.   From then I came back on the bicycle and walked down to housing court to see about the cases of two people that rumors said they had been served with eviction notices.  They will be just fine if they do what they promised to do.  Then to the Stop  Access Coalition Planning meeting at 120 Maple Street and then walk up to the Maple, High, 6 Corners Neighborhood Council Meeting.  Off to sleeping place.
12 September: 2016
Today I updated the GoFundMe website and confessed about my frustration in not being able to get the things needed to the city in time and so I might lose the possibility of rehabbing this house for myself.  So much guilt that I have not been able to "pull this thing off".  Will go to St. George and help clean up after Glendi and hence feel I have done something good. Then to rehab. Before that try and find the papers they gave me for exercises, I have not done them.Then I go back to the "office" and await a ride to Springfield Lodge.  Not certain, think I want to not hold an office this year in lodge.  But deal with life and my sins.  Also came across a Bible Reading Guide & made this morning a days of the month chart when a year starts September 1st for ecclesiastical year day counting .  Got back to be taken to Agawam Encampment and Springfield Lodge meetings.  Then back to apartment and bed there so as to get to 101 Wassen Ave by 12:30AM
11 September: 2016
I thought I not be at St. Stephen Church, and would be helping with last day of Glendi at St. George.  We are scheduled to have a Parish Council meeting, and since I found out Friday they have help and really do not need me at Glendi, so I will be at St. Stephen and leave for Glendi after the parish council meeting. That was the plan, but the parish council meeting got put off by the chairperson minutes before it was to happen.  I showed a contractor the l "to whom it may concern" letter I crafted in the wee hours of the morning to tell others in other parts of the world about this project.  I will give it to someone from NH and ME maybe today.   I wanted to bring papers & a calculator to the Glendi event to work on plans for 257 Central St. if I get "idle" at any time in the day; but just could not get to doing this. So discouraged.  But gave the Iconographer at Glendi a copy of "What is S.C.A.R.F.?" as well as the "to whom it may concern" letter.
10 September: 2016
Saturday, will be at St. George Greek Orthodox Church and mainly at the Cultural Center for their "Glendi" celebration, a great big Greek party in the afternoon.  But vespers starts at St. Stephen Antiochian Orthodox Church, so I will be there before Vespers at 5:30PM, then call Bob and not certain where I will stay at night.
09 September: 2016
Should spend entire day at "office" and work on the needed calculations and make phone calls and meeting dates for this Project. Want all done and "wrapped up" by Thursday the 15th when we get ready and go to New Hampshire for the men�s retreat.  But will see what work I can bring to the Glendi celebration at St. George and help there in any way I can, most probably busing tables. Went to the Hampden County Continum of Care Annual Meeting in the morning and then to visit with the friend that sounded so sick. His telephone is not working but he wants to call them himself.  He sees no need to be able to use the telephone right now.  I then went to St. George Greek Orthodox Church's "Greek Cultural Center" for their "Glendi" celebration.  I was not needed to help but did stay and see the video put out some time ago by cbs news, "60 minutes" program about the monks of Mt. Athos in Greece.
08 September: 2016
Work on stuff for 257 Central St. Project at "office" leave about 4PM for Twin Hills Country Club, an hour earlier if it is inclement weather.  I had expected to sell the raffle tickets for the Rental Housing Association of Greater Springfield's Chapter (one of 5 and soon to be one of 6) of MassLandlords.  But a change had happened and they were having board members do that.  The Presidency had also changed back to the former president as the current President has to devote time to her growing business.  Friday was to have been spent on this project but instead I was at the Hampden County Continum of Care Annual meeting and then to Glendi.  I went to Rehab this afternoon and then to the MassLandlords meeting.  Trying to do things and in the middle of all of this I was to visit a friend that sounded sick, but the refrigerator failed and needed to be defrosted, water everywhere. 
07 September: 2016
Work on stuff for 257 Central St. Project and then to AQCA board meeting and to Springfield Lodge for the Amity Lodge meeting that night. Should be at order of St. Benedict, but I still have an office at lodge.  If the city says "OK" to buy and rehab 257 Central, I will need to work on this every day at least 16 hours a day, barring any medial appointments or things I can not change.  Speaking of that, need to contact the lawyer at Springfield Partners in Community Action again.  Email from the city, they want those estimates and such.  The Architect says we now need constructuon plans and to get another extension.  I am not certain that is even allowable now.  Your prayers are so needed and especially at this time of stress and strain I appreciate them so much. 
06 September: 2016
Be at apartment for inspection and such in morning to afternoon.Appointment at rehab (360 Bernie Ave) at 3pm to have muscles checked out.  Then go vote in primary.  Then do other stuff. Start contacts and all sorts of stuff for this project. It is do it now in the next 3 weeks or lose the opportunity completely.  Also move stuff to more permanent storage and continue to help a friend recover from his knee replacement surgery and work on other things in preparation for Men's Retreat, etc. at Church.
05 September: 2016
Do so much want to be at the Leffingwell Reunion, even if nothing else I desire happens for this day.  Stefi (from Church) says she will bring me up to the house to measure windows and then to Ashely Falls to the Methodist Church building. She then goes ups to Troy New York.  After the reunion I try to get back to Springfield & a round of stuff for this project that has to be done this week.  I will call Stefi if I can get up to Lee as that will be best for her to pick me up at when she comes back from Troy on her way back to Springfield and work Tuesday in Holyoke.  I have a rehab appointment at 3PM Tues about my stiff muscles.  Also need to vote in primary.
04 September: 2016
Sunday before Labor Day, oh how I want to spend it at All Saints of America in Salisbury, CT. Will want to get going early the next day to get over to Ashley Falls, MA (where the Col. Ashely House is and the place where "Mum Bet" earned her freedom from slavery by due process of law) and the Leffingwell Family Reunion at noon.  After nearly being killed August 19th when the car drove into me on the bicycle I notice how I can not plan for tomorrow and be assured tomorrow will come.  I only have today.  Do want to see my Mother's side of the family at least one more time. After all, this section of the Berkshires is "home" for me and my "High School" and formative years were spent here. Got to Church and Stefi agreed to take me up to the Berkshires early in the morning. I will bring a book to read and something to drink as I read. We will go and measure windows at the old house that is fallen in, damage by the roofing that I told the lawyer that leaked but he would do nothing about it.  The she will take me to Ashely Falls and she will go on up to Troy and visit her Mom.  Then I will get back as best as I can, but if I can not get further Stefi will come and pick me up, even if it is in Ashely Falls.  She is an angel.  I wanted to much to spend weekends at the family home.  Did talk with "Wally the builder" at church and he says to figure less than $200 per window. It is easy to put the box around them. No need for springs, I want the closures we had at home.  I can not find them online and maybe we will need to have them made. If that does not work then the old pin in a spring that goes into a hole in the side of the casing is fine with me.  I am told vinyl windows will take 28 years to pay for themselves and at about 18 years they start falling apart. I have seen the vinyl crap my friends have to put up with and I see no reason to make this house a "hell" to live in just because others are doing it.  I plan to, over time, obtain interior shutters for most of the windows and maybe make some interior storm placements for others. BUT I want this house to be as it was at least in the 1960�s and vinyl crap was not part of it.  I am so thankful I grew up in the country where we did things that worked. Not fancy, but they worked.  So Stefi will bring me up, I have books to read.  Bob got back from the beach today, he left his phone here, and I thought he would at least stay through Monday.  BUT I really want to come to the Reunion and Stefi said today after Church she was going up to Troy and we would leave about 9AM.  It is now about 9PM and I still have not gotten the floor done at the apartment. Am cleaning up and boxing and doing this page.
This may be my last time to get up there before winter the way things are going down here in Springfield.  Please continue to pray for me and for S.C.A.R.F. and also for the concept of the Combined Christian Conference.  People told me I was not to do this and I have no credentials now, but it will just not go away. Thanks for Praying and thanks for following up on what God has told you to do.   I do not want to do what God does not want me to do "in His name", and God knows how much sin I have been a party to.  B U T  I just can't seem to have this thing go away.  I was active towards it, then spent time with the New Boston Congregational Church, then came to Springfield and spent another 17 years trying to gain educational skills to be hired.  BUT by then I was old and had gotten sick. BUT the concepts will nto leave me.  If either this or S.C.A.R.F. are a reality soon it will be an ACT OF GOD and not the efforts of this weak and sickly old man.  I will up date this in the evening Tuesday after I have

03 September: 2016
Would like to go back to the Berkshires either today or tomorrow and stay in a tent at the family home and just hear the sounds I loved so much as I grew up in the country. Lots of cars going by, but would love to do that and spend some time at the old house we need to tear down by next year.  Also want to attend vespers at All Saints of America in Salisbury, CT, and then Sunday Service there, but that might not be a possibility either.  All these desires might not be "allowed" as others have plans and such.  I have some really deep seated longings that do not seem to "relate" to what others think is important in a city life.  But, as always these days, what I want will come after what other, more important, people think needs to be done and I am required to assist with.  Did not get to leave Springfield, but got to Sts. Peter and Paul for Vespers and then back to clean. Got enough moved to mop floor and then slept at apartment until about 7-8 am. Then moved things back into bathroom.
02 September: 2016
Bob goes to rehab and I went back to the apartment just to bath & pre-wash some stuff. Need to be there Tuesday and clean up for a housing inspection soon. The plans are that after rehab we go back to Berkshires to get rest of stuff and then on the weekend, or next week to put things from temporary to more permanent storage and events in Springfield to attend, but we probably will just crash.  Tomorrow stuff needs to be moved to more permanent storage and that will happen in a few days. I want to try to hitch to the Berkshires Saturday so I can be there for the Leffingwell Reunion on Monday.  We did not get a reply and so went up and note on the door.  Did not get much of what we went for. I did get over to the family home and a locked porch and get some Ryobi tools I had bought over a year ago to work on this project and brought them back. Looks like someone stole the masonry blocks we had stored there so now I am buying them again. Lots of thievery going on, regardless of where you are.  We did go and visit my friend at the nursing home. The love is still there, so hurtful for me to see her, remember the good times we shared (been like a sister for about 60 years) and know I was helpless to help her and now much of what was precvious to her is being discarded by others.  So thankful the nursing home was allowing her to have her ca with her, much progress when they realize how much a pet means to people.  We got some clam chowder at the Friendly Ice Cream store and then came back to Springfield to try and rest. Tomorrow Bob is Grand Knight and has to be a a soccer event they are hosting and I will try and unload things and update this site. Want to mop floors at the apartment & clean up, it looks bad as I have not been there.  I did get to email some responses back to people about this 257 Central Street project.  Want so much to have this happen, (fix up house) if it is at all possible.  I am quite a bit discouraged and really need prayer support at this time, personally and for the S.C.A.R.F. concept.
01 September: 2016
To  day  is moving stuff to temporary storage and meetings and helping another friend. But I need to say something about yesterday as I got 95% of what my friends and I had brought to my friend's house for her to use while she was in that place and was saying she was moving to Pittsfield and the house she had bought there and moved her furniture to.  I had such a heavy heart and was so tired as I climbed the stairs multiple times to get the stuff out. My friend who had driven me up had just come out of a knee replacement operation and he was in pain also.  We must come up one more time, maybe tomorrow to get some foam mattresses and such and anything else they are throwing out that we might be able to donate to a place here in Springfield that helps international families in need.  I kept thinking I had failed my friend and now the thing she feared the most was going to happen.  But I was happy they were going to have someone with her and she could live in the house she liked to be in, even if she did not really understand much of what was going on, dementia they call it.  So here is what happened as I emails someone last night: "While I was at my friends house taking belonging I had there (I had often stayed with her on school vacations and tried to help her with bill payment expectations and such, as gently as I could) I saw a dove.  It was a white dove and came near me and I stopped and talked to (and perhaps with) it.  I has such a feeling of peace in interacting with that pure white dove.  I have never seen one so white, no dark marks on it at all.  The lady that will be living there and running the house so my friend can at least live in one of her homes whether she comprehends where she is or not, also saw the bird.  I said I took it as a good sign.  After that the bird vanished.  BUT I had a peace I did not have before."  So I am trying to build on that peace by reaching out to folks once more to see if I can't save this building and have a space I can live in while in the city in some sort of peace, at least in the winters and when it is still cold in Spring and Fall.  Please continue to pray for me. 
AND pray for God's guidance with regard to Saving Culture, Actively Reclaiming Futures, and the other things I feel He has asked me to begin/accomplish.
Paid rent on apartment I am not allowed to sleep in most nights, due to a person in the building threatening to "kill" me and the property management people doing nothing about it since April 9th (to my knowledge), which now as 4 months ago.  Bob and I tried to be there for the alarm people, but they could not install the new piece of equipment, it was apparently broken coming from the factory.  So Bob took me late to the Individual Services Committee meeting and from there to get stuff and the hammock that failed and brought it back to Aldi's, then some Kentucky fried chicken and then to lodge to see about some railing for Springfield Lodge, but then when we presented the plans they wanted to use pipe they had and Bob thought it was cheaper to buy it and have Home Depot thread it. The folks talked about having a welder do it and we said fine and left.  Then to 3400 Main Street and urgent care to see about the possible cancer items.  They decided to use an ointment and see if that clears it up. So over to put stuff into temporary storage and to then to Walgreens to get the ointment.  They had medications for another Charles Knight and said I had the wrong address. Got it straightened out and then brought things in and exchanged the HDMI monitor I was using with a super-vga one, it can be hdmi as well but I packed that connection cable with the monitor.   We put things away and ate stuff like cereal, called it a day and went to bed.  I listened to a lecture on the church year and Bob watched "reality" shows. So tired..  When I stopped by to pay rent and such I got a package from Melaleuca and the 4 magazine/books I ordered from Linux, two on raspberry pi and on on GIMP and one on fedora to replace XP so you don't have to upgrade to another rotten operating system from Redmond Washington, the Micro and Soft computer-people.

September (and anew Church year and soon fall) begins

31 August: 2016
If things are not into the city today, the the project is perhaps gone for 257 Central Street.  If nothing is posted here until much later in September you will know the worst has happened and I guess I will feel pretty much incompetent.  I still believe in the concepts of S.C.A.R.F. but maybe I can't be the one to do it.  The whole concept is to help someone get a house rehabbed tot he point of a certificate of occupancy, and then work with them for the next 9 years so that over a 10 year period they do much of the remodeling that they can be trained how to do. What if  it only happens on weekends and some nights, it happens and their self confidence grows.  My this is a hard concept for some "officials" locally to grasp as the idea is not to "make money" but to save both an old house and people's self confidence. But this is not a house to sell and make money on.  It is a house with some birds that visit it to live in. And I am way above age 6 so there should be no worries about lead paint..
I want to save a bit of history and live in some peace and quiet. 
I put these comments, in bold in the pdf I created this morning as thoughts in response to the city's questions and will revise tomorrow.  This was done before going off to get some things out so a fiends house, the "authorities" have her in a nursing home and will have someone live with her and the person is pretty much throwing away all that does not look top notch (under orders).  So my friend was convinced she was poor and I told her she had way over $500 a week coming in. So now the "authorities" have found out how much money she really has and they are going to "take care of her" as she "can not live alone". Scary business, I feel I have failed my friend somehow.  So with a heavy heart I make the 2nd trip up there to take the things out that was placed in t his building after she said she was moving to another house, but never did, so we tired to provide her with things.  I also stayed there and tried to help her on weekends and during college breaks and sometimes at night in the summers.  These were all "better days" and this was a family friend I have known since childhood.  Sort of like a sister.  Since I was 14 or so I have met this lady at Grange and before that when her family would come over to visit with my mother and talk about Grange stuff and my father would talk with her "father" about government stuff as he had worked at the US fish hatchery in town.
30 August: 2016
Only one day left and today I must go to the Berkshires and get things out of Alice's Monterey, MA house, have only until end of this month to do it.  The lady was to have called a week or two ago but forgot.  Years ago I had helped Alice put up a web page called "country house" on selling the house at 91 Pixley Road (it is listed as being in Great Barrington, because it has a Great Barrington, MA mailing address and as happens often in the countryside, it has a neighboring Sheffield, MA telephone number, the group of numbers starting with the same three number prefix is often called an exchange), then she had me take most of the information down. I had hoped to buy it myself as it is only 3 miles from the family home, but she did not want to do that then.  Now all of this is most probably beyond the reach of anything that I can do now.  Now I am in a bind to do this. Also things to city.  Fear nothing will happen right now as my back is now getting worse.  The list of things I do wrong continues to grow, & a list of things I am perceived as doing right right shrinks to a point of almost invisibility.  Early this morning I found online a jpeg image that shows the individual vertebrae of the spine and where the nerves go to from a chiropractic source.  I now feel it is entirely possible I might have injured where the screws go into my vertebra to secure the rods that hold me up.  BUT I can probably do nothing about it as I did not get the contact information from the lady who hit me with her van/suv.  All seems to be falling apart and I doubt most of my decisions lately.  I came down to Springfield over 22 years ago to get a job and fix the family home.  I failed at that.  Now I want to have a house here and not live in a congested living situation with a lot of people whom do not seem that they care about moving ahead to do anything positive in their lives.  And it looks like I am failing at that.
29 August: 2016
Could not sleep hardly at all. By 3:30AM I was typing a "To Whom it May Concern" letter about the accident. Looks like I just have to suffer now as I did not get the information about the person who turned and drove into me, pushing me to the the curb and maybe jarring and damaging my engineered back. Each day it seems to get worse and more difficult for me to function.  It might be that my "end" is coming sooner than I thought.  Time to think about eternity I guess.  My friend is complaining that I am not "fighting" for what is "right".  I do not feel that way.  I do not feel what I want or need should of necessity happen just because not to have it happen would be to have me suffer a little.  I feel very content people are willing to suffer through having me around at all.  As I have said before, no one wants to  hire me any more, and often I can not volunteer to do things, hence my worth or value is apparently not good enough to be assessed in any sort of a monetary way.  Therefore whether I live here or somewhere else or do not live at all has no bearing on the well-being of society.   Years ago when we had extended families we had a job or position for every family member, from great grandpa down to the newest two year old. Sometimes they did the same job, both helping to sweep the walk in the morning, etc., but they had a feeling of importance and need.  That is now gone.  And if you can not "pull your own weight" in America today, then you pretty much have no reason for living as far as society is concerned. The theories on appropriate aging are many and so diverse, from when you get to a certain age you need to step aside and prepare to die, to keep doing what you can and putting effort into making this a much better society up until your last breath.  The latter is the one I grew up with, but apparently the former is the one I need to interface with now.  All of this does not make for a very hope filled future.  And when I can not even help the people I care abut in an appropriate manner it makes me wonder about my abilities.  This day I am preparing for another failure and inability to communicate what is needful and get things done. It is no fun to think you are worthless now.
28 August: 2016
Church, then stuck at Bob's house waiting for him to get back from relatives, to Lodge to get pudding for him, then go to bed and try and write the minutes from the Church Semi-Annual Meeting.   More and more it looks like I can not meet the city's deadlines and I will loose the ability to fix this house up or do anything else.  Bicycle is still not seen and now it is to late to document anything.  All decisions about this accident are now probably wrong. The Church Semi-Annual Meeting was today and it went well.  I spent time at night typing up the minutes.  Also a long letter to Deacon Michael and John saying how I could have been killed and wanted to speak to them about  my ideas on certain things, then typed them out in that long email.  Got the minutes finished and sent to them by about Midnight or so.  Then tried to sleep and found it difficult.  Lower back and upper back pains.  I might have cracked something where the screws are.

27 August: 2016
Did some sorting as Bob wanted to wash clothing, but then he did not.  Went to base for things and talk about the computer.  They said call HP, do not do it online, call. I did and got someone from what sounded like India. In the end what has expired, or rather will in 20+ days, is the telephone support about the software that I refuse to update to windows 10 as there has been so much trouble with that operating system iteration from Microsoft.   Went to apartment and tried to fined the old glasses. Apparently they got thrown out in the trash when I has put them somewhere when I lay dona d rested an they must have fallen into the trash bin.  I got the call from the Mercy Hospital people saying they could not fil the prescription because Forest Park Optical got me glasses, even though they were the wrong prescription, in  April.  Looks like I am stuck with these things that make everything blurry to view.   The handle bars are still messed up and nothing can be done right away now.  Looks like I have messed up a lot.  Did some paper work fro the Church meeting tomorrow.
26 August: 2016
Bob said to stay as his house and he would take me to Dick Durant's and we would do Bob's laundry. But then he called at 1PM or so and said that he could not drive after all as long as he had physical therapy. So I take off on the Bicycle and bring the prescription to Mercy Hospital for the new glasses, correct prescription this time.  Then over to Dick Durant's house and visit with him in West Springfield and give a card from Agawam Encampment and Springfield Lodge, I. O;.O. F. and had a nice visit there.   Got back and went to apartment and looked for things that seem to be still missing.  Also dizzy a bit in evening. Had to stay at apartment and try and rest, but people called, so left dizzy and balance not good and bicycled back to Bob's to be there at night for him.
25 August: 2016
Went to Clinic at 9:30AM, finally seen. Apparently nothing much can be done as I did not get the contact information from the driver of the car that hit me. I really did not think about it.  I just wanted to get away from the situation and not need to wait to be seen sitting in a chair 8 - 12 hours in an emergency room.  I went back to the apartment and tried to do some things and called a gain to try and get an appointment with the clinic optician.  They called back and said to come up at 5PM for that appointment, I was up there right away.   He looked at the glasses and then checked them against the prescription.  Well the left lens is ok but the right on is way off, no wonder my head hurts and things are blurry. He gave me a new prescription and said I should go to Mercy Hospital to get them this time.  I came back and stopped by Dollar Tree to buy a broom for Bob's house and a box to put hanging file folders in, also  some other things and had to go to Big Lots to get them all. Looks like Nickie is no longer running the Dollar Tree in West Springfield and the selection shows it.  Nothing we want to buy but selling the stuff the corporation wants to push like many of the other stores, and so laid out that it is difficult to find things there. Stopped by the apartment to get the belt I had ordered for Bob's vacuum cleaner as I knew he would want it as soon as it came in.  Might not get installed for days though.
24 August: 2016
Do nothing, straighten up some at Bob's place and then get to Apartment and get book to go to Stefi about furniture  refinishing I have in the time-life series.  She wants to refinish and sell some things.  I brought the cleaning things back to the apartment that I had gotten for the cleaning the day before.
23 August: 2016
Board of Directors meeting minutes were finally done.  I also went by Apartment and got cleaning supplies for the work at the Church this afternoon. So much I need to do and yet nothing is getting done.  Perhaps I am just no good at doing anything and might just as well admit the fact and give up on it all.
22 August: 2016
Prepares for board of directors meeting at 32 Byers Street, Inc and the election of officers and such (since the President is still on vacation we agreed to not do elections until next month).  Then rest and start to do my own replies to city after I have started on the minutes.  Last few days, nothing back from others, must make estimates and get assurances of funding to the city and get this done or I lose the opportunity here.  The back and head hurt from the accident Friday when the car turned and ran into me pushing me to the ground. Will call clinic today. I rest and do nothing today, Try and straighten up Bob's house. Clinic call finally got through. They can not see me until Thursday at Focus care.
21 August: 2016
Church and then maybe move some things, still resting and tomorrow must need to work hard on 257 Central St. Project, after Board Meeting at 1PM.
20 August: 2016
Recovering from car/bicycle accident last night. Will do not much. Stayed at air conditioned apartment and then left for a friends house.
19 August: 2016
Weekend not so going so well so far. Friday night (August 19th) a car drove into me and dragged me down a bit on the bicycle.  The person said they did not see me, but since it was only me on a bicycle I did not get their information as a accident report would not need to be made. The point is I had light clothing and a very strong headlight on the bicycle.
The person stopped on Florence Street heading East, I thought for me as I was going south on Pine Street.  Instead, as I move forward, they go forward and then make a sharp turn into me.  I am wedged next to their van as they bend my handle bar and I can not turn away while I am pushed backwards and onto the blacktop.  I Had some difficulty getting up and had to be helped. The nerves were not working well.  (She came back to me as people got me up and said how she had stopped to see how I was and she had not see me at all.  It was like people in my building at 32 Byers Street who still seem to use drugs or alcohol, they are all over you with apologies and I know there is no way they can be held accountable for anything.)

Why do I tell you this?  It is because instead of a 71 year old white man with a big white beard and a light grey, almost white, T-shirt, this could have been a black teenager with not so bright clothing but with a light.  The teenager could have been going home in that densely packed part of the city. It was about 9:30PM, about the time to be coming back. In fact some younger people were around me and rushed over to help me up. I could not figure out how to get out from under the bicycle, the nerves were not functioning right.

I was bruised, but what if this had been young girl of say 14.  She would have been not so tall as me and I have a 27.5 inch bicycle and I keep the seat post up high, so I was very visible. BUT she might have a small bicycle for her age and not be so high.  That means that this child could have been hit in the head with the similar damage to the bicycle as I sustained. BUT where it hit my arm it might have hit the little girls head. 

And these days folks are trying to be on their cell phones, talking and texting and this is the 6 corners area of the city.  We have a goodly amount of children in this area and this person I do not know how old she was as she had her arm around me like a drunk or drugged up person would be babbling along a mile a minute and not see where they are diving. I did not look up to see her face, I just wanted to get out of the situation and go on and take the Garbage cans back in while I still could. Knew I would hurt more later.  And I did not want to go to the Emergency room at Baystate as I would have to wait in a chair for some 8-11 hours to be seen and I really wanted to get to a spot so I could take a hot bath and get the grit and blacktop out of me.

I  had the light on the bicycle and she stopped, and then as I got near her van, she came right out, I stopped, and she turned into me.  I am certain she was not looking at where she was going and maybe texting or this also might be a case of drug or alcohol usage or just talking with someone else in the vehicle and not looking where one is driving. 

So I guess I have a greater  sense of importance now of how people need to be where they are hurtling the many tons of scrap metal they are driving.  I see how instead of a messed up bicycle and bruises (I can not tell about internal stuff yet) this could have been serious injury or death for a child.

I still hurt a lot Saturday morning a good 12 hours after I got pushed back on the blacktop and such with the bicycle coming over me,  so I guess the scrapes and bruises are to be expected.

Thanks again for listening to me and praying for me and for the hoped for rehab of 257 Central St. so I have a quiet place in the city to live.  This happened about 150 feet east of the front door of that building.

Blessings,

Charlie

PS
I did not write this until about 5:30AM  on Sunday.  I just hurt and was shaken up and went back to the apartment with the air conditioner until Saturday afternoon when I had to go to a friend's house to try and help him with a computer issue.  As I did that I noticed two ladies trying to trim overgrowth at their fence.  Once the computer issue was resolved I came back with some tools I had and helped them clean this up. I was so thankful for the years I spent at Springfield Technical Community College in the Landscape Design and Maintenance program as I think had a better idea of what to do and how to help these folks.  It is a really good feeling when you can use what you have learned, some skill or something, to help others.
18 August: 2016
Spoke with a counselor about the various things I think I might be "dealing with" regarding the pamphlets I picked up yesterday at the event at Court Square about helping people recover from Alcohol or Drug or other substance abuse.  Also later I missed another meeting to be available to help as we set up for the Sherif's election debate with the Armory Quadrangle Civic Association.
17 August: 2016
Saw my allergist and showed him the troubles that had happened on my wrists this past weekend.  I am still lethargic and often can't seem to get much done.  Then went to the Court Square event about helping people get off drug and alcohol and tobacco use and abuse.
16 August: 2016
Met with the folks at Commonwealth Care and against my better thoughts did sign up for the Senior Care stuff.  I think it is a waste of time and money actually.  Then from 2-6 PM I was at the Community Planning for the Stop Access Coalition to devise some indicators as to  plans to move forward for this next year in helping to reduce the access the youth have to drugs, alcohol and tobacco until they are much older and their brains are pretty much developed.
15 August: 2016
Will do nothing much but rest in the air conditioned apartment and surf the internet and sleep. So tired after the wonderful NOFA Summer Conference.

 14 August: 2016
Last day of NOFA summer conference and then back here. The beginning of next week might take a day trip to the Berkshires and then back to finish work on the stuff for the city, so hardly any input will happen here (that might change) as we work to get all the "ducks in a row" by August 19th and another conference in town.
11-13 August: 2016
Be at the Northeast Organic Farming Association's Summer Conference in Amherst, MA and speak with many about S.C.A.R.F. and finish some of the drafts for published materials and the things the city needs in order to allow us to proceed with this project.  Do email me if you have any ideas or suggestions for us.
08-10 August: 2016
Work on S.C.A.R.F. review and topics we learned of and items for the city to revise estimates and get approval to purchase and do rehab work on 257 Central St. so this can become the "pilot" project and show in reality what we have been saying are the concepts and hope of S.C.A.R.F. regarding increasing housing stock and rebuilding homes while we rebuild the shattered lives of those affected by a traumatic event, like homelessness.
07 August: 2016
To walk in the Yankee Homecoming Parade in Newburyport, MA with the local Oddfellows lodges as a Past Grand officer, and then down to Salem, MA, to see a production of "Godspell".  Then back here.

05-06 August: 2016
Will be helping a person with a hot water heater out towards the cape, then back for a funeral of a friend's Dad. Then back repack clothing and off to the east and up to Newburyport, MA,  by public transportation and such.
04 August: 2016
Went to Individual Services Committee meeting of the Western Massachusetts Network to End Homelessness and spoke to some there about my reaction to the failure to get another R.L.C. Career Initiatives grant and how that sparked me to write something showing in outline form what we now see the vision of S.C.A.R.F. to be.  You can read the first draft of that letter here. If you can help us in any way, advice, counsel, monetarily, knowledge of grant proposals, etc. please do contact us.  This has somehow spurred me on to speak with more people and soon another website will be established that is not so wordy as this one and just gives the basic information about S.C.A.R.F. and its vision. That domain name has a national flavor to it and with that domain name and the current paid for P.O. box 30538, Springfield, MA 01103 we are poised to be able to transition to a regular "office" whenever such is offered to us.  Exciting times happen when doors are closed, we start looking around to see what other ones are opening.  During yesterday's an today's travels I bought a small book called "Positive Impact" which is basically about helping others accomplish their goals and in doing so you benefit and grow.  I agree with that and hope to be inculcating the principles of this small book in my life and the workings of S.C.A.R.F. in the future, near future. 
03 August: 2016
Attended the Western Massachusetts Regional Network to End Homelessness's Leadership Council meeting in Northampton, then talked with a colleague about various issues and then went to a "flea market" and a bookstore and bought a book at each place, good reading, on about positive thinking and the other about accounting practices that we will need for S.C.A.R.F. going forward, then to an AQCA board of directors meeting and then the local formation group of a possible oblate of the order of St. Benedict. Then back to "the office" and looked at email before retiring and getting ready to go to a meting tomorrow morning and then to help someone put in a hot water heater near the cape, then take a bus back here Friday night. Then off to  a funeral Saturday morning and then to Newburyport.  Then Sunday to walk with the Oddfellows as a past Grand Officer of both the Grand Lodge of Massachusetts and the Grand Encampment of Massachusetts in the Yankee Homecoming Parade.  So this might be the last posting until Monday or Tuesday night.  Looked at email and found we were rejected for a grant from RLC in FY 2017.
I am so thankful for the FY2016 grant we got from RLC and it is the main reason we can produce quality printed matter now to communicate our mission and to provide a reason for others to support us in this endeavor.  Without the RLC grant we might have just "given up" and most certainly would not be able to move forward as we now can towards having a fully functional office to produce 8.5x11 inch documents and receive and submit fax and printed materials.  The future is now beginning as we open up a new chapter and seek new partners to help us move along & start helping others rebuild their lives as they rebuild a house, one success at a time, daily.
So now we look for other support and move forward.  Probably will say more about this about 7 days from now before I leave for the NOFA summer conference in Amherst, MA.   MUST have all paperwork into the city and ready to close on the 257 Central Street property by August 19th.  So much to do, so little time. 
02 August: 2016
Did some food packaging with Bob that we stored and then back to do more web design work for him.  Had called to see if I could see the doctor early, got a call at 10:30AM that a 11AM appointment opened up, so I went. Got back at 12:30PM and sent emails to Stefi. She could help and by 2:30PM I was awaiting her arrival. We went to two different National Night Out events, then over to Emmanual in Warren to help with the community meal and then back for another National Night Out event in a neighborhood Stefi and her late husband used to live in.   We went to pick up some books at Barnes and Noble and then drop off some salad from the meal for our light supper before the order of St. Benedict meeting at St. Stephen Orthodox Church Wednesday at 6PM, all are welcome to check this out. So I got very little stuff done for S.C.A.R.F. today but did get a possible commitment to go up and measure for some windows to get from another property, maybe Monday.  Finished changing some things and will do others over the next few days.  It seems the U.S. Postal service will not deliver if you Post Office Box includes the street address of that Post Office, so the one I use for personal safe "snail mail" needs to be changed to P.O. Box 30538, Springfield, MA 01103 in order for the mail not to be sent back as the forwarding stuff only send the mail to the 1149 Main Street office or often, since that is a Postal Service address, returns the mail.  Live and learn, that seems to me what all of this is about, live and learn.   Went by 257 Central yesterday and the telephone pole I reported is still leaning.  Maybe they don't use that pole anymore.
01 August: 2016
Morning must call Bank to allow taxes check to go through, then call or go down to Welfare, probably the latter and ask about the food stamps.  Try to work on items for city, seems like I can get nothing done on time and the question is whether I can do anything at all well in this life, it seems the answer is NO.  So very Depressed.

August Starts

31 July: 2016
Church and make plans for my absence the first two Sundays in August.  Talked to Wally the builder and he said just make the highest estamites and get stuff to the city so they will give yo the go-ahead to work on things there.  Also put pressure to get the private building inspector.  Stefi is back, just to see her smile gives me great joy.  Did not do much this afternoon, I should have. Will most probably stay at apartment tonight so I do not bother the guy who threatened me. I am often in my room or away.  I the secureity person see my check as I put it in a folded letter and put that in an envelope and put it into the drop box.   So very discourage I have done almost nothing on this house since I was named as preferred developer in October of 2015.  Nothing since the call April 1st.  Nothing since the extension to the end of August on June 30th.
30 July: 2016
Not much to be done, can I accomplish anything.  So much sin.  So much self doubt, degradation, self-condemnation and general feeling of worthlessness.
29 July: 2016
Final Friday of the month, must make certain the RLC 2015-2016 Grant final report is in the files by this day. I sent the report electronically, Earl said he spoke up for me, which I take to mean things did not go well in grant app. review. Went & saw earl, had to be at lodge in afternoon helping to put up ceiling tiles, replacing damaged ones.
28 July: 2016
Must pay for cell phone, lets see if I can accomplish this one small task.   Scheduled to be at two places at once tomorrow, must call on this.
27 July: 2016
Annual Meeting for Rainville, printed documents and crafted reports.  Then went to help someone and never got to other meetings on time. Messed up with homeless.
  26 July: 2016
Board of Directors Meeting at Rainville minutes done.  See person regarding RLC grant and get 90% of report completed, then shut windows at lodge before rain and find someone still sleeping in back yard.  Talked to much and will sent it later. Missed meeting at city hall, I forget to much.
25 July: 2016
AM help someone with something and a very important board of directors meeting 1-2PM and maybe a little longer. Then rest of afternoon and Through Thursday at "office" most of daytime and end of grant report outlined by Tues and delivered by Thursday.  Seek help as to format from Earl Monday afternoon.
24 July: 2016
Church in AM.  Last 4 days to get report in. Told yesterday I need to help someone Monday morning.  I must work on report fully the 26, 27, & 28th & deliver it.
Also this week need to find floor plan items from architect and scan them in at FedEx Office to letter or legal sized paper.  Need to also scan in all I gave to the city May 27th.  Much to do, deadlines fast approaching.  I feel like I have accomplished very little.  Please pray fervently that God's will be made manifest.

23 July: 2016
Very hot, advised to stay in. Might go to "office" where there is ac at noon, might go to park by 257 Central to read.  Feel so lazy.  So very tired & inadequate. Stayed inside most of the day and by a fan, did not get out to go to ac until about 5PM.  Did a list of questions to ask contractors form and made one for electrical questions.  Enough of this "you can't do that" from friends, let's find out from the "licensed professionals" if something can be done.  I need be I will try and talk with someone in the building department.  Nothing gets done when yo argue with folks that have done something a certain way, that most people do things that way, and do not find out if your "new way" would actually maybe work just as well, and what to do to make certain it conforms to code.  I am still trying to get things done as I envisioned them over a year ago and do a quality job at an economical price with the homeowner, in this case myself, doing a good deal if not most of the work.  Sometimes you just can not do the work, but often you can help or at least be there to learn how and why something is done that way.  Very hot even under the fan and I have drank a lot of liquids, maybe if I keep this up I will develop gills.Went with Carol to Vespers at St.s Peter and Paul and then to "the Rainville" to get printed things for Pam and take a picture of what looks like someone has pulled a dead tree down at 257 central. The neighbors have been doing things that don't seem to be quire right and I fear the quality of trust is not great there.  It might be difficult when we get permission to go on the land and re-establish fence lines as they have been use to overstepping those boundary lines for their own desires.  Must establish the limits and make the area within a safe place for nature to be.  Left there late and got to sleeping spot and stayed outside a bit in the "cool" of the night (84 degrees F.) .
22 July: 2016
Need to contact people but am committed to help someone this AM but had "issues" with an entity I am a board member of so I could not get there until about noon.  Help for the person extend throughout the day and into the evening, missed another event..  Must work on grant report, no time to do it. Frustrating. 
21 July: 2016
Tried to get some things accomplished, but did not succeed.  Finally got back to "office" for 15 min.  Then back to work through the night, in between resting.  Other sorts o crisis things meant I did not get work done to see Historic Commission and tomorrow is all booked helping someone.  Fear I just can't get much done at all.  Did almost no work and had to update this and such between 3AM and 7AM and then go to bed for maybe some rest for maybe 30 min.
20 July: 2016
Need to pay for McAfee on the windows box for a year at the sleeping space.  Check Mail after Movie with a friend and plan rest of week. Outline for report to RLC by Fri.  Prepare for Board meeting on the 21 of another group.  So much difficulty getting small things accomplished, just nothing getting done like I want.  Bogged down allover.
19 July: 2016
Here at "the office" for some calls, plastic shelving is 11 dollars each, ouch.  Then worked on a revision of the overview and a S.C.A.R.F. summer newsletter to be published by the 29th with a first run on the 20th.  Will go see a movie with a friend who has been wanting me to go with him for months.  Then work more on the plans needed for the city with dimensions and such and the grant report for the FY2016 grant to the Recovery Learning Community.  Also need to box up more stuff to go to storage. Also need to set up plans of action and follow through on those plans and provide guidelines for our people to do the same.   The AC is like "white noise" it makes me want to sleep.
18 July: 2016
Got to "office" and just collapsed, so tired. Did some stuff and then realized I was to be in Weathersfield, CT, by 6PM.  Caught the Vermonter south to Hartford, then the 101 Fast bus to the 55X going to Middletown and got off at the lecture site, got there early.  Then on the way back retraced my steps. Got in at 10PM, tired, went to bed.
Dr. Tolin talked about the reduction in air quality that many boxes and hoarding can create that can make the "hoarder" very sick.  The website for that research is here.
17 July: 2016
Made a decision today. Tomorrow will start estimates in earnest. Probably to high, but get them to funders so they can approve and the city can give me permission to go forward on the 257 Central St. project.  Very accurate estimates may be impossible as we will not know "what we are getting into" until we are part way through the rehab process.  So estimate high and tell funding sources that and agree we will spend only what is needed for the certificate of occupancy unless spending now on an item (such as a porch) might be more cost effective than to start it again in a year or so.  But for me, I see the estimates to go forward and go towards the higher side assuming we are paying for all the work done by others, even though we expect to be taught and the work done mostly by ourselves.  It is just to much trouble right now trying to explain this "new way" of doing things that I expect to become "best practices" in a decade or so after the financial "bottom" has dropped out of many markets as one by one the world economies collapse. So, at "the office" to work on this stuff early on Monday (and if I 'crisis' comes up, early on Tuesday) with a goal to have the RLC grant report done by the end of the week and the other booklet by the end of July and the estimates into the city with financial approval by August 1st, at the latest August 15th.  I want to get started 'doing' before 'snow flies'.

16 July: 2016
Nothing much, awoke and hand hurt, both of them and allergic problems, so I stayed in all day, then went to Vespers in Enfield with Carol from Church.  She had offered to take me up to New Hampshire to the Oddfellows memorial service at the Cathedral of the Pines in Rindge, NY;  but I just found myself not well enough to do it.  So I stayed inside and out of the way of the pollen and such.  I thought a lot about the estimates I need to do and the plans for the work on the 257 Central Street project.  Need to draw out sketched, plans and make all estimates and even get in to make more measurements next week.  Go on the high side, all work done by others. Don't like to do that, against all S.C.A.R.F. stands for, but am thinking about it will ask about some things of a contractor at Church tomorrow or next week, he might be away visiting folks this weekend.  The point is that it is up to me to get numbers in.  Does not matter if they are numbers that are higher than what we eventually use.  Does not matter if we estimated by a percentage before. We just do it over again and give them the numbers and I make out all the plans and maybe go before the Historic Commission again.  Will contact RLC to get a clear idea of what I need to have done for a report for them and get that outlined at least by next weekend.  So many things to do at once.  But this morning I just rested, and slept some extra.  So what I am coming to is that we need to build in "days of rest" and "family time" for our people so that they not only build self confidence by rehabbing the house they are to live in themselves, but they also do not "burn out" in the process.  At least one day to just "be" with yourself, with nature, with God, with your family, and enjoy whatever you really enjoy is as much a part of the "way it is done" as any other building technique.  The house rehab and personal rehab and the community rehab as well need to be enjoyable tasks over all. Some hard spots, but in the end the sum total of all efforts needs to be positive.
Not certain how we do that other than "scripting out the days" for people and say that the time of rest and personal enjoyment are as much a part of the rehab process as waiting for the first coat of paint to dry before you put the second coat on, or any other examples like that.  It is just plain "best practices" and always has been that way.  We just think we can work three shifts and be 'super people", and what we get is "super bitter" and "super burned out". So what we need to do is help build people's self esteem up after the traumatic event, not give them another traumatic event (being burned out). How to do that though is a "burning" question!  If anyone has some scientific studies to back up this assumption of mine, please email that knowledge to me at ceknight.spfd@gmail.com.
15 July: 2016
Sin all night and not much done.  Go to Hampden County Continuum of Care meeting.  Happy to see Alicia and Kathleen there and really enjoy the shared working in collaboration and cooperation that happens with this group.  Then I try and find out how much paved driveway I need. City folks to answer that question are not at Building Dept. after all but at Code Enforcement.  I go there and they say it is really the zoning folks and they are all out today.  I go back to "office" but get nothing done. Try 4 times to sleep, finally it happens. I am so terribly worn out and the hard lumps in my body are hurting and the finger is catching more and hurting every time I go to close my hand or open it.  Often I must use one hand to open or close the finger on the other hand.  Bob has help with work at the "beach house" and I stay at his place to "house-sit" so no one breaks in. Suspicious people "night fishing" and I call the police.
I am so very concerned with the robbery happening almost everywhere and no one gets punished.  Want to get to Oddfellows memorial service in N.H. Sat.  
14 July: 2016
Bob help's me in going to a friend of his son's in Enfield. The tube had burst. Jamie had patched it twice, but it had burst. The man said even some of their high end bicycles (some at about $4,000) have been coming lately to the shop with cheap tubes in them.  We get basket at Lodge and do some other stuff. Bob has to go to a meeting at 6 and we get flowers into Stefi's baskets (smaller than I thought they would be) by 5:15PM &I pick up bicycle at Bob's and go to "office".
13 July: 2016
All morning and until 5PM or so we spend on the replacement of that window and paperwork, which now Bob has to find more stuff to do.  It should be done by Friday, but might not get done until next week.  I put in the flowers in the window boxes and get most of the hanging baskets done.  We need to get another basket from my storage as he had 4, not 3 as I remembered. We go to fix an error in a plate issue and then buy food and find out all but $4 of my food stamps is gone. I attend the St. Raphael Benedictine Fellowship formation meeting at Church and then back to "office" but have a flat tire so carry bicycle back to Bob.
12 July: 2016
The whole day is spent with Bob and this window project.  Waited bit the professional putty guy did not show.  Bob's son and some helpers got the new piece of glass in his "International Style" aluminum framed house.  That night I attend the Maple High 6Corners Neighborhood Council Meeting. Buy more plants at 16 Acres Garden Shop and will put them in tomorrow.  Got the plants from the Lodge we kept over the winter and baskets to put up on Bob's porch.
11 July: 2016
First full day "at the office" as planned and got here late.  They working on plans and such when Bob called.  He was a distance away but the Police called and said someone had broken into his house.  The Alarm had not gone off.  So I closed down stuff and "dropped everything" to bicycle over to his house.  When there the police were all around and they believe they caught the boy that did it.  We spend the rest of the day going to get glass and doing things relating to it.
That evening we go up to get some flowers at the Hadley Garden Center on our way to the Oddfellows Cook-out in Amherst and send off the notes to our campers at the antiochian village.  Each note comes on an envelope, specially made, with a different planet stamp on each one.  One set to Stefi also.
10 July: 2016
Church, Parish Council Meeting, Stefi and I go looking at houses and just enjoying he afternoon. She and her Mom go to PA and her Mom will drive kids back so Gabe can pitch in the baseball team.  Stefi must stay for the Sacred Music Concert and will take public transportation back. I start daily work on S.C.A.R.F. on Monday of at least budgeting 4 hours a day, somewhere, somehow, probably at "the office".   Must push to get estimates in for the Environmental Review.
09 July: 2016
From the 8th or so onward I have had great difficulty in uploading website changes and so far I do not know what is wrong. I will try and contact the hosting company Monday, it is now Friday night, Saturday Morning on July 14-15th. And I am very frustrated.  I will redo this when I gain uploading access again.
I did nothing this morning, just rested.  What a great idea God had to have one day a day of rest and worship to him.  Stefi and I went to do some things and be at Vespers at St.s Peter and Paul (I got the wrong time so we arrived late) and then attended the Big Band Concert which had moved inside because of rain.
08 July: 2016
Got up and tried to update the iMac and could not.  Did that  second time and finally got a chat window open with an Apple "adviser" and they guided me through fixing the problems with an ID so I could update some programs.  Did that between 2 or 3AM and 6AM and then back to bed.  Wrote this update, and then back to bed again. Will most probably NOT go to the beach with Bob has his family might be going down.  I am so tired.
07 July: 2016
Got to the apartment and then worked on some stuff for maybe the historic commission, might visit them informally tonight, but since it was close to the 4th of July they were not certain if the would have a quorum.  Stefi called and said she could take me to the Apple Store at the Holyoke mall for an "advanced basics" workshop but she could only come at 11AM, not before.  So I could not get to the individual services committee meeting and told the director so in an email.  Will need to explain to the committee chair also.  Was a little late getting out to the car but Stefi got us there and we walked the iMac in and got there and set up before the workshop started. Stefi then went and moved the car so it would be nearer for me to walk out.  Had to stay an extra 30 min until 1:30PM as I made a mistake and it started updating the OS.  Then we spent an enjoyable afternoon shopping and such. Went to Barnes and Noble and found out a "visually" book on the iMac and the "El Capitan" operating system would cost about $30 retail, so I will look online.  Got back to "the office" around 4PM and worked on some stuff until Bob called and wanted me to help load the trash some one had dumped at the lodge into a trailer so we can pay to have it dumped, a second time.  I got down there, dropping everything else, and took images of it that I showed an officer at the community policing meeting that I got to about 10 min. late.  I just do not walk as fast as I used to.  Then after the meeting I got a ride to the lodge and piled up the stuff.  Then more images and Bob came with the trailer and we loaded it up and put a tarp on it.  While I was putting the trash out for the lodge he had called the police, so now we waited for them to come and then I went back to the apartment to work the night and take a long soak in the tub.  Did that and updated things and went to sleep and got up again and then to sleep again by midnight.
06 July: 2016
Up and do paperwork and make forms through the night for measurements. Send email to Mike Cass and he says he can give me 60 min. between 1PM and 2PM, I jump for it and am up there before 1PM.  He lets me in, has trouble unscrewing the plywood over the door. We find out why later as I take the measurements of windows and doors and walls.  Someone has gotten in through the window off of the roof and has now taken out all but two or 4 of the vinyle windows, must now find windows.  The cost to fix this little house is now skyrocketing it seems to me.  Please continue to pray for me and for S.C.A.R.F. as w try to "move forward".  Went to AQCA board meeting almost immediately after returning to "the office" from the measurement session, where I took more images.  Someone has now taken the metal shed and is using it next door, must get permission to put a fence up and secure the property lines.  Looks like someone has thrown a heavy limb that was up towards the front of the yard towards the sidewalk now on the porch.  So much needs to be done and so much repair work.  BUT I like the birds and the cool breeze and want to live here and make it a little haven for birds and wildlife within the city. Finally to the Church for the first of the formation meetings of what will become the St. Raphael Benedictine Order community. Then to "office" to get a flash dive & to sleeping spot.
05 July: 2016
Went to "office" and then the 3300 Main Street. Was raining at first, then hot.  Then got back and Stefi took me to Warren and Emmanuel Church's meal they put on for the community. She helped and I just tagged along.  Will need to ask about access to 257 Central for measurements tomorrow.  Stefi took me to Savers and I got a keyboard (for playing music) for under $25.  No stand and such but it does have the ad adapter.  I want so much to learn how to play the piano before I (Charlie Knight) die.  They took me form music and piano lesson in Grammar school to learn math. Have hated math ever since then.
04 July: 2016
Spent a good deal of the day at Bob's cleaning up and organizing stuff I had left there. So many things I just left for another day, and this was that other day.
Went outside and cut some mores stuff, mostly invasive species and then Bob returned.  Saved images to computer to make space, then to Riverfront Park and the Independence Day ceremonies. Then up to 257 Central Street and finally (fireworks kept going privately) to the sleeping space.
03 July: 2016
Church, then some time with Stefi, then work on cleaning up the space where I have put things to access at Bob's place, and start thinking about the questions the city wants answered.  I am so very tired.  Ended up going to the sleeping spot early,  had cut some brush before.
02 July: 2016
First order of business is to update this website, then get dressed and on buses to the Holyoke Mall at Ingleside and the Apple Store for the basic macOS workshop with the iMac.  Then to get back to Springfield and to the apartment. Then to Bob's to do the weeding out of the invasive species and such. Then go to church for Vespers.  We might not have vespers always at St. Stephen his summer.  Then to the sleeping place with shirts for Sunday Church service.  Will try and check on prices through Home Depot website and seek entrance to 257 Central for some hours to get measurements again on Tuesday.  An appointment that day and maybe the banking they want done, but starting Tuesday I have a busy schedule.
01 July: 2016
At apartment by 7:15AM.  Calls from people wanting to go to Bank.  I said after the inspector came.  The inspector came about an hour early, and it was done before 10AM.  Evan came by with the iMac he had picked up from the Apple Store at the Holyoke Mall so that we can use the software with the printer for ocr stuff.  I made a call to the Apple Store and since I last used the macOS some 5-6 versions ago, I will go up there and bring the iMac with me on July 2nd (tomorrow) to a workshop at the store about using the ElCapitan version, macOS X.11.  I was to send up the last report today that I had not sent up last night.  Totally forgot about it until about 8PM and I was so tired then I just went to bed and will do it in the am.  The lady that wanted to do the bank by 10 am then said do it at 2PM after she had eaten. I go out at 2PM and she wants to wait until next Tuesday as she still has not eaten enough yet?  I go to the bank and then to the Post Office and switch my mail to the Post Office Box I bought the 29th of June. The mail gets put in other people's  boxes and I really need to get all mail right now as I work on 257 Central and need to have what the city asks for done by the end of September, given July, and August to get a lot done.  I am so very tired so very early in the day.  Talked with Pam and was to go and do some "weeding out" of invasive species for Bob, but the rains came and I just got stuck at the apartment.  Did not go tot the sleeping place.
Will leave early in the AM by buses and take something to read.  At night and early morning (12 midnight to 5AM) do sheets to get the additional items I need new prices for to make estimates for the city.  Will talk to Uptown Construction and Home Depot for many prices.  So very tired.

JULY Starts

30 June: 2016
Last day of the R.L.C. grant and the plan was that Stefi was to bring me up to Holyoke to deposit the grant.  That am I had crafted an "overview" of S.C.A.R.F. and printed it on the new printer for inclusion in the grant reapplication. Then we would spend some quiet time and then come back.  It almost worked that way.  But the whole process was about an hour late and we were early and so could not get to see  the "center" that R.L.C. has in Holyoke.  When we were able to go up time was running out and Stefi had to do some other things relating to her work before we could get back into Springfield.  She brought me directly to my appointment at 3300 Main street and I started to walk back.  I was so hot and tired (later found the temperature was over 92 degrees F.) and so I rested at ab us stop, started to doze off and a bus arrived. I had no change but did have a dollar bill and so I took the bus and a transfer to the apartment.  Then Bob called and I got a ride to Church for the Feast of Corpus Christi.  The service was with the Vicar General of the entire Western Rite of the Arch Diocese, so it was a big deal.  A 2.5 hour service and then a really nice fellowship time. Food left over and I got a "care package" given to me also.  The love shown to me is so amazing and I am so thankful for it.   BUT I had to wait until all were gone for my ride back and went to the apartment to change and get the bicycle. Then to see Bob for some software he said had been sent via email and needed to install. It was actually some files and not the software promised. I was so tired I stayed over at his house that night and then back at 6:30AM to be at the apartment before 7AM Tomorrow.  Could not go with Bob to the beach as the iMac was arriving from the grant (a refurbished one from many years ago) and also the HAP/HUD housing inspector was to come by to inspect.
29 June: 2016
Not much other than preparing R.L.C. grant application and starting to work on FY2016 report.  Bob took me to the Dumas opening of "Our House" a place for teenage homeless in Westfield. A great achievement, there has been no place for homeless teens, especially when the extended family can not function well enough to take them in like most would assume happens.  Our society is pretty broken these days  Bob went to his son's and I should have taken a bus back to Springfield, but that would have hurt his feelings and so I did not get to something at 4:30 and got to the church for the clean-up in preparation for the feast of Corpus Christi more like 7:49PM instead of the 6:30PM arrival time I had promised. Lif is like that, often we need to do things and we need to work with others and sometimes people will say no, but you can see in their eyes that they really do want to be allowed to help you.  So it is with S.C.A.R.F., we need to always be sensitive to those non-verbal clues and help people feel "included".
28 June: 2016
All things on hold. What was to be a short trip to Westport, MA and back being back by noon or 1PM has been all day. Got back just in time to print out the note taking sheets for the Green Committee, sub committee of City Council and get there by 6:15PM.  City Hall had to be opened up for us.
 
27 June: 2016
Am to be at the Hospital (Baystate)  for an "MRI" today at some time after 9AM, will get there at 9AM.  Then maybe try and get access to 257 Central to clean up stuff, at least put in another room. Will put things together to do that if can't do it today.  No news from the city and my request for an extension of time is nerve wracking at the least. This is a therapeutic need for me personally (Charlie Knight) as it is a policy for others.  I want to call the people that we assist "partners" as they will be just that, partners in the healing of the house, their lives, and the neighborhood in which it is.
Need to put in grant application.  Maybe come back from hospital & do it.  Tuesday it should rain, maybe.  Might be good time to be at 257 Central.
26 June: 2016
Church, then to CostCo with Stefi and got a box to put files in (collapsible) for hangiing files  to maybe use "on the site" at 257 Central Street.  I shared with Stephi how I have this feeling over an over again that I might not live long and need to put down on paper my thoughts about many tings and especially these current projects.   I went to bed as soon as I got back from Costco.  Then up to work on the RLC report some and then to bed.  Then up to work more on the presentation and update this web
25 June: 2016
Picked up by Stefi for the Parish Life Conference in Andover MA.  It was a good time and we got there in time for the Morning Divine Liturgy.  Bishop John and the clergy of the diocese were there.  So many youth as well, it was great.  We had a "Bible Bowl" team and our own Gabe gave his oratorical presentation speech he got an award as the top one in his division.  I was so tired when I got up, sin the night before. So many nights fo this dream that I am to die soon and must write down the things I think should happen so some one else can do them.  Got back at light, we left just after vespers and did not stay for the dinner and dancing.  I was so exhausted I was in bed when Stefi called to say she was home and Ok. Had finished revised report that was inspired by the Historic Commission meeting June 16th. Will check the spelling & such and put up by Tuesday PM.
24 June: 2016
Nothing much this morning, just rested where I had slept.  Last night I got to get the wi-fi going on computer that Bob got me and then today came back and spent the morning getting his computer's wi-fi network to be able to use his printer.  Then cut some more stuff down for him of invasive species and finally went to the city and talked about the cut-in's the city wants and asked to see the Historic Commission staff.  Got there late after starting paper work for RLC grant report and updating this website.  Will need to contact these folks Monday.  At apartment to be picked up Sat. AM.
23 June: 2016
So very tired and did not get much done in AM. Went to Apartment and Pam had "issues" and took items I have boxed up to storage. Little by little, day by day, since about April 20th it has been clear I must leave this space.  I will start looking "in earnest" when all but the furniture and "enough to live in a hotel room for two weeks" is all that is left in the apartment.   Right now I am sleeping away somewhere else at least 5 nights out of 7.  Went to the License Commission hearing, concerns the Armory Quadrangle Civic Association is interested in got put off to a later date, so we left.  I then went to the drop off a device to be able to receive a wi-fi signal at Bob's house and then wet to the sleeping space for that night.
22 June: 2016
Tried to find things and went to appointment at 3300 Main St. and then to look for other things, a cable I should have bought for the monitor that I thought was in the box, but it was not.  So I bought it at Savers at the regular price (yesterday was senior day but I did not go).  Then I went to Church that night, last time for the "prophets" study and discussed problems I had with deacon Michael.  Then back to see how the computer is.
21 June: 2016
21 June: 2016
Evan and I go over things, printer not liking to work with Linux box (Ubuntu 14.4) and instead of downgrading the OS we look on line, see a refurbished computer that should work and agree to purchase it with the remainder of the grant money for S.C.A.R.F. work so the grant will allow us to produce continued folders and such for S.C.A.R.F. and this project in color.  I will find the money from withholding from b uying food to purchase the "insurance" plan for it for 3 years.  Later I go over with Bob to do things and Bob takes me to staples where they find out the lap top I bought for some $499 dollars and added $250 of "protection" to, was so infected it was worthless with "malware".  The staples store on Boston Road did not have the lap top's advertised on a sale that only started 3 days ago.  Bob insists on going to the "base" (air force 'px') and there is one bare bones computer without pci slots or internet wireless access. BUT it is $100 less than the price as the lap-top that Staples advertised but did not have was.  So Bob buys it for me so that when I visit him I can use that computer and he can use his computer at the same time.  Often we have done that when working on projects and that is why I had the lap top at his place.  All the other old laptops I have had do not work as well and the computer with Linux on it is causing troubles back at the apartment and making noises, I think the hard drive is going.  So this is a low end computer but means I will have something and I believe I have a monitor in storage, so he gets it for me and we go to storage to get the monitor.  I try and set it up and stay over at his house that night.
20 June:2016
Went to apartment & finished work on booklet. You can download it here.  Tonight to meeting on Alden/Roosevelt Ave. road work.  Found the city officials very willing to help and kind and willing to try and explain things to the "common person" gently and tenderly.  Good feeling all around.

19 June: 2016
Church, then back to apartment to work on Parish Council notes, then to help a friend cut down evasive species from his land.
That night, well into Monday morning, re-worked items submitted to historic commission to make them one booklet an not files.
18 June: 2016
Armory Day at the Springfield  National Armory after relaxing and doing nothing all morning (missed stuff but rest was needed).
17 June: 2016
Doctors, Doctors, Doctors, I see them a lot. Allergist and Dermatologist and of to the Pharmacy, but the medicine cos to much.
16 June: 2016
Worked on items and made a booklet for the Historic Commission.  I agreed to come back again if I want to do anything over the door on the addition that faces the street.  I doubt I will do anything at this time other than a period "v" on the roof to deflect water.
15 June: 2016
Went to the Berkshires to get  some of my stuff that was brought up there one winter, will go back again next week.
14 June: 2016
Architect Bill Devlin and I went over to West Springfield for breakfast and to talk about the project and our meeting at the Historic Commission on Thursday.  Then Evan from RLC and I went to get new printer for SCARF to print things and make folders and mailers and such & set up an efficient office for this project and the RLC Grant report.
13 June: 2016
More preparation for Historic Commission meeting, other work on S.C.A.R.F. ans at FoH Art sales & show fundraiser at Log Cabin in Holyoke that evening.

12 June: 2016
Church, Parish Council Meeting, Parish picnic, Prepare for Historic Commission Meeting.  Ask people helping me tomorrow to be there on the 16th.

11 June: 2016
At Church event most  of the day in Lawrence, MA. Then back to prepare for the Parish Council Meeting. Also prepare for Historic Commission Thurs.

10 June: 2016
One of my last "Friday reports" and prepare to be at a Church event in Lawrence MA tomorrow.  Have S.C.A.R.F. Articles of Organization draft formed and maybe some initial bylaws.  Try to find information about lawyers and start  outline on report for RLC grant.

09 June: 2016
See my primary care physician a 10AM and then maybe check with city.  Hope I feel better, this cold like allergy and such is awful. This is now 60 days or so after the man threatened my life and everything has been turned upside down.

08 June: 2016
See Evan of RLC at 2PMish, probably at studio/apartment.  Get stuff to Historic Commission and map out last weeks of June and end of Grant.  Write Proposals of motions for Tenants Union, I must be at Church, and try and call about their lost Employer Identification Number.  To many people in the building I am leaving want just to complain and not take the initiative to try and solve problems outside of childish "street gang" type of methods.

07 June: 2016
Critical Time Intervention training at Mercy Hospital due to my affiliation with the Western Massachusetts Regional Network to End Homelessness and then work on Historic Commission drawings.

06 June: 2016
Do work on items for Historic Commission, lodge reports, box up more for storage, prepare for training tomorrow.  Many Lodge special event tonight.

05 June: 2016
Church and not certain what else. Maybe report on Grand Lodge.  Do other tings and do work for Historic Commission, must be in Wednesday. Or just plain rest and try and "chill out" a bit.  I think I like the latter.

04 June: 2016
At Grand Lodge of the Independent Order of Odd Fellows and leave with Past Sovereign Grand Master for a ride to a bus station in Providence, R.I.  Get there and I have missed the last bus directly to Springfield. One last chance tonight, on to Worcester and then a 2 and a half hour layover and another bus to Springfield. I take that one at 5:30PM and arrive in Springfield near 10PM.   Go to apartment, put dress garments away and eat, then sleep, bath, write this and then to sleep again.  Plan is to leave from here for Church.

03 June: 2016
Off early to Grand Lodge, trash brought out at lodge first.  Then pick up suitcase at apartment and more medications.  Get down there and do some items and am dropped off at hotel.  Help with registration and other things asked to do.  Can't get other room and folding bicycle fix did not "hold" while in storage, so now it is paying for a hotel room. To tired to try anything else.  Was told a high price and went to go somewhere else and then they asked if I was with the group, I said yes and got the room for a little bit less, still it is about a fourth of my income for the month on this room.  Glad I am here to help and make a report for my lodges.

02 June: 2016
Morning I wait for Property Management people that never come.  So missed appreciation luncheon. Then to Allergist who sees me, asks some questions about something I think is healing fine from what it was before (something focus care did not want to look at) and orders some medications and ointments.  Neighbor patches pinhole in bicycle tire for me. At 2:30PM I meet with the RLC grant person (Evan) and we agree on a purchase of a mutli-function laser printer that is on sale at Staples only until Saturday.  This will help in making flyers and letterhead and such and send fax and scan documents 8.5"x14" for our people. Stuff to storage and then to put bicycle together and get to meeting on the gas leaks in this city and nation-wide and especially in Boston. Then to the Community Policing meeting.  Am told hours before that we must leave early in the AM and not at noon for Milford, so I have to pack things before going to the sleeping area.  I therefore can not go and see my friends graduate, I am bummed out.  But get to sleeping spot late at night after doing these things and doing additional research on the printer for the grant people and sending specks and such.  It is 4 more hours of stuff I had not planned on.

01 June:2016
So very sick, At focus care again (they basically say it is all my fault and intimate I have messed up my medications, this is not true, I think they are missing something and are overworked), then wait for Evan and RLC Grant call, then Armory Quadrangle Civic Association board meeting, then Convocation at Springfield Technical Community College, then move stuff to storage and get to a sleeping spot away from the apartment building.

June Starts

This is a revised document through May 31st, revised June 5th at 5AM.
So much has happened since April first and so much to happen through May 31st.
So this link is to a PDF that tries to summarize it all
More (at least weekly) reporting of daily activities to resume in June.

16 April:2016
I hope to be moving things, also helping in clean ups the 23 and the 30th but maybe not posting things here much.  I will try and access the internet to return emails at least twice or three times a week while I try and get to a safe place to stay.
15 April: 2016
RLC Report Day.  So much needs to be done by today.  Most probably I will not update much until after Pascha, May 1st.  I will go to the Streaming Myrrh Icon at St. George George Greek Orthodox Church. I want to get closer to God, regardless of what happens but I need to do so in case all these dreams and nightmares that indicate I will die before I come into the house are true.  I will be trying to take things with me and do some work on plans for the building and final plans for S.C.A.R.F. written down if I do die.
14 April: 2016
Appointment at 10AM at 3300 Main Street with Baystate and then I can't go to the Arise for Social Justice meeting on Environmental Justice Committee meeting.  I went right from the Police Department where I talked with Kathy Brown and then filed a report and then back to get my bicycle to cycle to the Rental Housing Association of Greater Springfield meeting at Twin Hills Country Club, at 700 Wolf Swamp Road in Longmeadow, MA.
13 April: 2016
Leave early fro Holyoke Community College from Springfield Bus Terminal to get there by 9:30AM for a Housing and Employment for Young Adults  training session in the morning and a Tenant Employment in Permanent Supportive Housing training in the afternoon.  Then back to the Apartment and Bible Study at 6:30PM.  Good training, some folks prayed for me at noontime.
12 April: 2016
Leave early in the morning from Springfield Bus Terminal for Holyoke Community College and a training on Employment opportunities within Section 8 housing tenants. We have had that in the Rainville property management contract since about 1992.  The HAP/HUD housing inspection is that day, hopefully in afternoon.  They did it before I got back and I failed the inspection. But this means not much to me in comparison to being threatened with death.  I was advised to write something in case I do not survive the next few months so people know where my body is to be buried, etc.
11 April: 2016
Day before inspection.  Call the inspector. Maybe have someone at my apartment. Give paper to Property Management authorizing they can go in for this inspection.
ALL items must be out of here and that includes all books probably not going to be used in near future and most efforts focus on the 257 Central St. project.  But I am so distraught that I am not able to focus well on anything. Missed a rehab appointment today.
10 April:2016
Church, then pivotal Parish Council meeting.  Perhaps more stuff to storage that afternoon.  The next day must complete moving things to storage and make the apartment ready for inspection on the 12th. Three trainings  and special meetings the week of the 10th through 16th, and it is nearing the end of lent so soon many church services, probably daily.  Hence I need to also be talking with people and get revised Redevelopment Plans into the city by the end of this coming week.

9 April: 2016
Must bring things to storage, must get them out this weekend. Must get apartment so it can be used for studio to work on plans and such for 257 Central St. Project.  A man came up to me today as I was bringing things into a waiting van to go to storage, pointed his finger at me and said "I am going to kill you".  I did not respond to him. That man also slammed the van door on my friend who is 82 and my friend narrowly escaped being hurt. He called the police.  The man and another person were talked to by the police as were my friend and I. We were told we could go after we made the statement.  The other two people mouthed off at the police, fought with them, and resisted arrest.  They face many charges. The person how
8 April: 2016
Fair Housing and Civil Rights Conference at the Marriott at 8AM. This ends at about 3PM and at 3:30PM a Rehab appointment at 360 Bernie Ave.  Might try and bring some things to storage from the apartment.
7 April: 2016
Fair Housing and Civil Rights Conference and workshops at the Marriott at 8AM.  Then the Community Policing meeting at 6PM at the EmmersonWright Community Room (Senior Center location) on Walnut Street. Then the Historical Commission at City Hall.
6 April: 2016
Trauma Informed Care Training at Mercy Hospital at 8AM, then at 4PM the AQCA Board meeting. Then to Church leadership meeting at 5pM, then to Church for the Bible Study meeting continuing in the book of Jeremiah.  Will be hoping to complete the reading of the Taunton Press "Wiring a House" book by this date but it is taking much longer, might not be for a few more weeks.
5 April: 2016
Morning work on problems at apartment building with a conference call  Then a VIMUG meeting noon, no one showed up and I was waiting in the cold for about 45 min.  Then a Rehab appointment at 2:30PM and then to a HAP forum at the Marriott at 3PM to 5PM. Good conversation with speakers and they like the S.C.A.R.F. concept.  Missed contact with RLC.  Back to apartment and to bed.   I must get things out of here and can not wait much longer.  So tired. Back at Computer 11PM to 1AM to update things.
4 April: 2016
Unaccompanied Youth meeting is planned in Holyoke near Homestead Ave 11:30 to 12:00PM and then to Baystate Neurodiagnostic center for a meeting and maybe tests, with a ride from the City Housing Director who was at that meeting.  Good conversation.  The lodge meetings will not happen in the evening, should have gone to city council meeting but to tired.  We had spent about 4 hours doing laundry and such.  I think I pushed a cart back that an old man's cane was in and now it is lost.
3 April:2016
Church and nothing got done as planned.  All must be out and apartment ready for inspection next Monday night.  I got back from church and did not go to the annual dinner for Holy Cross Seminary and Hellenic College and see the presentation so I could be back to do laundry with a friend to finish the Holiday Meals. Now that might go until Tuesday or Later because of othe commitments the friend had forgotten about. So I spend the time going over what might need to happen first and created that pdf document about this project.  I need to get all my "ducks in a row" so it can happen.  I hope I don't need to find another funding source.  A lot changes in the 5 months or so I have bee waiting for this approval recommendation.

2 April: 2016
Went to Carol Costa's mom's funeral with Bill Devlin, then back and can not get a hold of Bob for laundry of the Holiday Meals items.  Will update these pages.
1 April:2016
News. At about 1PM I got a call from Tina-Marie Quagliato of the Disaster Recovery & Compliance section of the city of Springfield, MA about my bit 15-238. As I had said before it seemed I should not contact them unless they contacted me because to do so might mean I loose the bid on that property.  Well what I am told is that a letter was crated on October 30th after we had provided estimates from Uptown Construction, the Architects Drawings and various certifications on August 28th. recommending that the Mayor designate me as the Preferred Developer of this property at 257 Central Street.  That designation would end on May 30th.  I was told I could ask for an extension of time since apparently the original and not a copy was filed, hence no notification may have gone out to myself or to Mayor Sarno.  Along with the letter of recommendation was a list of 15 or more items they wanted clarified and I now wonder if some of the revised estimates were actually transmitted to the right files.  This letter is here and I am seeking many bits of advice as to how to proceed.  The first full week in May will be trainings and the Fair Housing Conference and I will proceed with moving things to storage and asking about items so I can go a revised estimate.  I will need to contact private inspectors and such and now there might be some question as to the financial package as well.  I do what to do this in phases and do what is needful for the certificate of occupancy first.  Then apply for help with other things and a Mass Historic Grant.  If this letter had gotten to me in time I could have made the application by march 1st.   From this point on, this spot will be the only spot I have a lot of words and updates on. The concepts section will only have bare bones for the concepts.  This is the project we are trying to "work out the kinks" in our plans on.  And I must spend much of my time on that.  The "book" is due June 31st and it looks like I might not be able to get this accomplished until September, however if they give me an extension of time (which we have asked for) this still means the paperwork in doing the work for the transfer of the property and such that might take up until June.  The new window is for a certificate of occupancy by Labor Day.   I went to see the Tiny House project and spoke with Colleen from Revitalize CDC at that event.  What they did for insulation is what I want to do on the addition area of 257 Central St.  If we can "pull this off" that means a feather in the cap of everyone as we show that an abandoned and neglected property can be fixed up and made a home again.   Later Bob took me to Carol Costa's Mom's calling hours. The Architect for this project, Bill Devlin, will take me to the funeral and burial, etc. tomorrow.  Did not get Rent in the Rental Box and so might bring it to Home City Housing on Monday or will most probably put it in the rent box at the Rainville and be "done with it".

April 2016 Starts
 
  23 March: 2016 through 31 March: 2016
So much has happened and most of it has been my trying to help an older person with the Holiday Meal things for the Western Easter time.  Yet I have had many say that I can not do these things and that I can not even get a reply back from the city.  So I will attempt to establish a for profit company, but not make much profit, tomorrow, April Fool's Day called Charles Knight and Associates to help move this thing along.  It looks like a need to re-evaluate whom it is I work with and maybe there are some questions of availability and appropriateness with some of the people I have selected in the past.  It is a the concept to rehab so that a certificate of occupancy can be granted and that additional repairs and modifications would be "on-going" so that the people continually help to rebuild their lives by rebuilding and remodeling the home and the neighborhood. It is a sort of a sense of community we are building and not a huge debt with things done by "professionals" so the home could be "flipped" or sold soon.  I expect at least a 10 year commitment to live in this house, barring unforeseen issues, and this act of planning and rehabbing will be therapeutic.  I ask you to pray for me and this venture and I seek all the solid advice I can get.  This is a new way of doing things but I think it is the right way to help fairly poor people get on their feet and so they can use the help of many different agencies as they move along. It is a cooperative and collaborative way of doing things and yet it is based on the principle that most rehab stuff the common person can do. We might need help in moving things along for the initial certificate of occupancy as all of the rehab work needed will most probably need to be done within 5 or 6 months. But after the move in the people can progress at their own pace, learning and doing and making this once abandoned house not only their HOME but also an "anchor" building in the revitalization of that local community.
22 March:2016
Must help with getting things ready for Holiday Meals today.
  21 March: 2016
Helping someone who is in his 80's  get things prepared for the Holiday meals that happens here on Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter.  Then to meet with Earl at RLC and discuss things and try to work with HAP about moving the inspection date to a few weeks or a month from now.  The people that are to help me move things to storage are not available right now.  I will do what I can now and really want to get to city council tonight.  I just like being there. Want to see about watching it online also. Need to pay the telephone bill as I guess I am stuck with verizon for right now. I have much to report from last week, but have to "process it" and more news might be forthcoming.  If the nod is given for me to develop this property these comments will become much shorter and work will need to be done there about 10-12 hours a day or so. Given transport time an time to get up and back to bed and eating time.  I think all I have left after resting time is about 10 and maybe 12 hrs.
Tried to talk with HAP people, now told I need to call the inspector tomorrow morning, start at 7AM. 
20 March: 2016
Church, got there late, with printed possible Sunday of Orthodoxy for another year. Stayed through from Church through evening Sunday of Orthodoxy, home late.

19 March: 2016
Grand Encampment meeting and then back here, so tired. Just lay down and slept.  Then up to Church for Vespers. Talk some of Sunday of Orthodoxy tomorrow.
18 March: 2016
Grand Encampment meeting is this afternoon. Did some stuff but mentally all messed up a bit. Big news 200 donated through gofundme today. Call with other help.
I sent an email asking the head of City Housing to see if she knows about the bid I made as I have not heard anything back yet .
17 March: 2016
Rehab. They will have appointments for me next week. My limbs are weak.  Went to Savers and got some things, including two books to write things in about our experiences in Lent. Will give one to Stefi as she has helped me so much. Listening session on youth at HUD, HHS telephone # then FoH board meeting.   Then to church for a St. Patrick's Day service and then some discussion about the Sunday of Orthodoxy and our needs to seek God's Will in our lives. Let book given to Stef.
16 March: 2016
Helped someone clean up for an inspection Friday.  Took longer than expected, washed floor, dishes, etc. as well.  The to AQCA meeting and leave early for Ash Wednesday services at Church. I am an Orthodox Christian and we keep the calendar the Apostles had, hence our Pascha ("Easter" ) will be May 1st.
 15 March: 2016
Half way through the month and I am still getting nothing done.  Pray that I somehow get out of this. After the theft and all my wrong decisions I question my ability to do anything right at all.  Much has happened wrong at Church and I feel I am in some measure at fault for that also.  Maybe I just need to go away and let people be happy with whatever they are doing and not try and mess around trying to do things when I have none of the resources to do them.  Maybe I am just a failure.
14 March: 2016
Only worked on getting a website working. No real work done all day. Light still out in foyer for third day in a row.
 13 March: 2016
Church and then back to the apartment to rest.  light out in the foyer, been reported yesterday as well.

12 March: 2016
1PM clean up at my lodge in preparation for Grand Encampment (I.O.O.F.) session. May ride out to 257 Central for good images if weather is nice
11March: 2016
Report Day.  Still not much happening.
10 March: 2016
Meeting with Counselor in early afternoon and Rental Housing Association of Greater Springfield meeting, topic is bed bugs. Might not buy dinner. But will try and talk with Attorney and ask about them inquiring of the city. It was over 9 months ago I put in the bid for this property and folks are asking what has happened.
09 March: 2016
Unaccompanied Youth Committee meeting at 9:30AM ( in West Springfield instead of Northampton), actually harder for me to get to. Special hearing on the Central Street realignment meeting tonight at 5:30PM.  Will go to that as we are located on central Street.
08 March: 2016
Nothing much all day. So discouraged. At Computer. Did not know of meeting in the building. Met with Earl and Samantha about Rainville & code issues.  Went to Maple, High, 6 Corners Neighborhood Council meeting. It is the Neighborhood Council for this area.
07 March: 2016
Went to Doctors. She is ordering a nerve test but thinks I just need to "Will myself well".  Could be. This theft is about the 12th traumatic thing that has happened to me since I came down to Springfield and I guess I am not "handling" it well.  I seem to be 'frozen in my tracks' so much of the time.  Lodge meetings at night.  Did find an old folder with not so much on it that tells about the "Rainville" and can be a self mailer so that was also put up on the 32 Byers Str., Inc. "Rainville" website.
06 March: 2016
Church at St. George, then up to meet folks at St. Stephen and give a book back to a friend at Trinity Lutheran and then back to St. George but could not get in for the oratorical festival, and then back to apartment. Feel so lethargic. Slept and felt a bit better and went to Howard Drew achievement memorial event at Classical.  There has been a website set up that has many of the images I tried to take pictures of at that event. Howard Drew was a black man that went to Classical High School and went on to become "the world's fastest human" in the Olympics, but a torn tendon at the preliminaries pulled him out of competition, and then to become a leader and eventually a judge.  His story is an inspiration for all of us and an encouragement for our own efforts.  I was encouraged, but still question myself.

05 March: 2016
So lethargic and tired. Just stayed in and at the computer.  Did get to Vespers. This is the first month I will try being away on the 1st Sunday of each month. 
Worked some on the beginnings of a possible S.C.A.R.F. newsletter to maybe be called the "Re-Builder" last night, early this morning. Sent in report to RLC.
04 March: 2016
Nothing done today but to attend the Western Mass. Network to End Homelessness report with senators and representatives and such at HCC. Back here 2pm.
03 March:2016
10:30 to Noon WMRNED Individual Service Committee meeting at Friends of the Homeless, then to the bank and such and Community Policing at 6PM and the Historical Commission at 7PM.  Will try and work on this move early in the Morning and make plans for the apartment set up then. Must have all moved out by May.
Set up website for the board of directors of 32 Byers Street, Inc. and on it is the first newsletter we tried to put out.  Tried to use google to translate it to Spanish.
02 March: 2016
Meeting at Liberty Heights condos and then to Kimball Towers at 4PM for an AQCA board meeting and then to the Lodge meeting at 7PM and back to the Church meeting that started at 6:30PM.  I hope to get things packed and boxed so I have much of what I need to get out of here.  So much to do, so little time to do it in.
01 March: 2016
This is the day, that for me, my mind starts shifting into "spring" mode.  Each day that is warm and dry I will be out on the bicycle or taking images.  I will look at college and see what programs for gardening are happening.  I am to late to start seeds inside as had been planned, but I might buy some "plugs" somewhere and start them.  I think I will also plan to be away at least one if not two Sundays a month, especially after May 1st , which is Pasca.  There is much work I have to do and help folks and also much I have "let go" while in college. That ended about a year ago and so my time will soon divided in the summer between here and at some other locations. In addition I will most probably be visiting with people and getting S.C.A.R.F. off the ground as a real entity.  All help with this is appreciated.
Talked with property management people and need to redo at least one image for the "Rainville Record"  newsletter. This thing is taking on a "life" of it's own.  I do need to get out of her in a few hours so I can go to the polls before they close.  Need to Vote today.

---

29 February: 2016
No plans to do anything on this "extra day" but rest and pray and seek God's will.  Instead I spent the day working on a Newsletter for the "Rainville" apartment complex that I had done much on the night before.  With many changes requested it was, I thought, completed at 11PM Monday night, am so tired.

28 February:2016
By this date 9 months ago the bid was made for 257 Central Street.  By this date at 2PM 6 months ago all the additional information was give to the city.  I am at a loss as to why there had been no movement so far but now nothing is left of the chimney and even if I do not need it, I want the chimney there so the house will look historically correct from the outside.  Much is being scaled back so that we can do what is needed only for the certificate of occupancy at this point.  I do want us to work collaboratively and cooperatively with all "stake holders" in this area and I think we need to do that not only for myself but others as well. I will try to get an Ethernet type of A/B switch (RJ45 sockets) so I can easily disconnect the Ethernet.  This is to be my last time of having it on 24/7.  It will be turned off when not in use and probably taken out altogether by the middle of next month, if need be. The extra money would be nice, but now I am finding I need to be on the internet more than I had expected. Had wanted to go to the Springfield Preservation Trust meeting, but after I got back from the second church meeting I went to as I received a gift to help me after the theft I was all messed up psychologically thinking of the theft. Did not go bowling and forgot about the SPT Annual meeting and just lay down and rested. On the computer just 'surfing' and such. I got almost nothing done and I need to "snap out of this" as soon as I can, without drugs.
27 February: 2016
No work on this today and it is predicted to be cold, if I am in Springfield. Will be working on boxing and moving things to get them out of this building.  Want to set up part of my living quarters so I can have people come by and let me give some sort of a presentation about this project to them and my hopes and dreams for other projects from where I am.  That means taking the bed to storage and bringing back and re-assembling my futon as a couch maybe bring two chairs back.
26 February: 2016
Wrote some more plans and such at 2AM and will be back to bed by 3:15AM.  Need to be dressed, up and be at Mercy Hospital at 8:AM for a training that will last most of the day.  Then try and do the Friday report and send it to RLC electronically.  If I get a ride I might go to Dedham. Otherwise maybe a bus Sat. AM to Boston and then back out for a Church event.  Can not seem to establish internet access. Verizon is getty really bad now unless you pay excessive fees.  Will try later.
25 February: 2016
Bicycled to Boland School for the last  Read-Aloud session. I went last Thursday but the school was out on "spring vacation" week. I went to the pharmacy, but did not have my bank card, so I bicycled to the 257 Central Street area and took pictures with the new camera of 257 Central from the sidewalk of Pine Street in two areas to show how it looks to neighbors once the foliage is off the trees.  Much work is now being done on the building on the corner and if the city grant my bid for 257 Central we want to make friends with all our neighbors.  Because of predicted, and materialized, rain I took the bus to a 2PM appointment at 3300 Main St. and back to the pharmacy.  There also I got in addition to the prescriptions for pain medicines, some candy, milk, and a 32GB SD drive for the new camera.   I used all the coins I had for bus and so I walked in the rain back and stopped in at Arise to tell them of what I had learned at the listening session about trafficked people being homeless. When I got to talk to Michaelann Bewsee I was invited to a potluck supper put on by their housing committee and so I stayed.  After that back to the apartment, put away the milk (the refrigerators are so small and ill designed the gallon of milk must be put in 4 32 oz containers in order for them to be refrigerated).  The old fridge allowed a gallon of milk, then new ones do not and all they allow for is cans of beverage and the motor area takes up much of the space inside.    Minutes not done and maybe by Monday. Need to check at the Registry of Deeds Archives to go back further than January 1 of 1861 for this property's deed search.
24 February: 2016
Plan to work on S.C.A.R.F. stuff and reviewed what to do now, what comes first, in a scaled down version so work can start as soon as the go-ahead comes from city hall.  Documents created detailing current views. I now want to NOT do all that I had planed on at first, and let some things go for a year or so after ownership so that this can truly be a model of how we hope to do the work with other people. The main thing is to get people into the building and get that certificate of occupancy.  Might try and contact folks at the Code Enforcement or some Architects I know to see if we can "nail down" the codes we have to follow so we can get people into a home first and let them work towards new roofs and such later on. Continuing to work with them as they approach other sources for assisting them with this work, assuming they need this help.  At 2:55 PM called in for a listening session HUD has about human trafficking.  Did check and this was a free call from home my phone. When I used the cell phone before for a conference call for an hour it was as high as 14 dollars for the event.  Saw  an indication I needed to do something additional to the "gofundme" account I had set up back in May to July of 2015.  Did that, verified things and within minutes someone saw it on facebook and donated $25 towards the cause of rehabbing this house.  This is my first donation towards this project and I thanked the folks.  Did more forms at night.
23 February: 2016
Spent morning on this update and looking for someone to come and have me sign a paper as I am a trustee for a statewide agency that needs to transfer funds for a statewide event they are having next month.  They came about noontime and I am finishing up this stuff now.  Will spend the early afternoon in minutes and did fold the folders of the 10 points for S.C.A.R.F. and will have some with me.  Then go to Green Committee meeting tonight at City Hall.
22 February: 2016
Board of Directors Meeting, then off to Holyoke and RLC Grant contact person where we make up over 66 folders that give the 10 points about S.C.A.R.F.
I was so tired when I got back I got to the computer and lay down a bit.  Then down to city hall to observe the deliberations about the changes in the casino project that, although the council voted to approve, they disliked and I wondered if this change from what was presented to the voters is a violation of 93(a) sec. 2(a) MGL.
21 February: 2016
Church, Stefi picked me up and then dropped me off while she went to get others.  I had made thank-you notes and gave them out to the very many people that gave me items to try and replace what I had lost in the theft.  Stefi brought me to St. George to visit someone that wanted to give me a card (maybe for a grocery store) but they did not have it with them as I was supposed to meet them last week.  I then went back over to the church service and the sermon.  They have the sermon at the end so children can go and have their Bible Study time in Sunday School classes while the adults are finishing up communion and have the announcemnts, collection and sermon, and then the end of the church service and any special things. The children have communion first and then they go over to the Greek Cultural Center for their classes. I came back for the "coffee hour" to see some people and then walked to the Post Office and mailed a letter to Alice Davis about her house and my willingness to help and anything I have in her house that will not freeze can be put on her porch. I will take it to storage in the springtime.  I walked back and felt to so unbelievably tired.  I rested more and slept some.  Then took the new camera and such and bicycled up to 257 Central St. and took many images.  Click here for an image of one and my new bicycle, which I have ordered a manual for.  I still have hopes for this house but expect I will need to do it slowly.  We need to have this done like we will do all other homes.  Just what is needed for a certificate of occupancy.  There are other groups that will help people with other things once they have owned the home for a few years.  I will talk about that later.
 
20 February: 2016
Felt so tired today, really, really tired, exhausted, worn out.  Day started that way.  Not done much, did not go to vespers. Just at computer and bed most of day.
19 February: 2016
Had been invited so came to the "Bible Study" a Saint George Greek Orthodox Church.  Reading "the way of the Pilgrim" and had coffee and donuts and clementines brought in. Nice time, then got a ride back and Ray Pauley came over and we tried to search for his family history (ants to know about a relative), without much luck. Want you to pay for each search now.  I wonder if he could get more done at a research librarian's place.  Did more work on computer.
18 February: 2016
2-3AM, something "broke" and I got hot.  Then I had the blankets off. I was up and working on getting the apartment ready for the exterminators to come, they were to come to everyone in the building.  Bicycled to Boland School for the read-aloud only to find out it was wrong on my sheet, school closed this week. I was warm in my winter clothing and sweating when I got back.  Was in shorts and T shirt for visit with Property Manager. Then at computer and helped with Orientation. Then to FoH for executive committee meeting, then to Armory Quadrangle Civic Association meeting with Elected Representatives from State and Cit for our area. Then back and at computer and ate more before retiring about 1-2AM the next day.
17 February: 2016
So very sick still today.  So cold it feels like to me. Wore ski pants and sweat shirts in the house and under other clothing when I went to a meeting downtown. They were surprised the many layers I had on. Then up by bus to Mason Square, Neighborhood Health Center to see them at Focus Care. Got there early and was seen early.  Then blood work done and a cream ordered and I went to the pharmacy and got the stuff. Got back and realized I had no one to put it on my back.  I don't want a guy to do it.  I know how uncomfortable I felt when I put some cream on another fellows back a few times when he had some ointment to take that way.  Went right to bed with many blankets to try and keep warm. Glad it was no lodge tonight.  I did go to church, bible study and was bundled up most of the time. Got a ride back and went to bed.  So very cold. Ate some more food and then went  to bed.  I have been in bed much of the last 4 days and in the apartment for at least 2 eat, sleep, etc.
16 February: 2016
Heard a friend's house had water running out of the windows while she was away.  Firemen came in and trashed the place. She had lots of stuff stored there but had not been able to move it to the storage spot as she was helping another classmate that got sick and in an accident in the countryside.   So now I might need to go up and help her clean out that house she bought and has been flooded and most things destroyed twice.  I will try and re-establish more cards today. Will try and start on a presentation for SCARF using "Impress" which is an open source presentation program and I  think superior to Microsoft's PowerPoint.  Will need to go to the pharmacy and get drugs.  Probably call the clinic to ask about this feeling cold so much.  Seems like everything is happening to stop me working on SCARF and the 257 Central project.  But I don't feel in my spirit that I should stop. So I am trekking ahead as best as I can do.  I feel so "down" there might be only going to get the prescription that I do.  Did not take the pills at 6AM, will do it now at 10AM and do the evening ones later.  Was back and forth to bed again.  Might call doctor I feel so cold.  Stayed inside today also and was so very cold. The room is over 70 but I felt so cold, like it was 30F. Made appointment for clinic tomorrow.
15 February: 2016
Cold. I stayed inside today also. Hard to do much as I feel so cold, but the temperature is in the low 70's. I feel like it is so very cold and the water does not come into the toilet to fill up the flush bucket and I fear the pipes have frozen below ground.  My bathroom has two outside corners to it where the toilet is.  I turned the Heat all the way up and there was no perceptable change in the heat.  Save thing when turning it almost all the way down.  I think the valve might have been messed up when the HMR folks checked it a month ago. Average temp is 70F in main room, 50F in bathroom and does not seem to change much.  Will go down a bit if I turn the knob all the way up or all the way down.  So I keep it at about 6 and the highest it has gotten is 73.3 degrees Fahrenheit.  I think there is sediment in the valve and the whole system needs to be flushed out. At this building, if I get the 257 Central Street property, I want to put in radiant heat as it seems that is heat with a liquid that does not freeze and it is a closed system that can have many zones.  Most of all I know that if I had not had my windows closed and insulated with drapes and such I would have been about 20 degrees cooler, hence in the 50'sF.  I put in some more Styrofoam tonight and went to bed in my clothes with ski pants and sweat shirt and hood and a fleece blanket and a top blanket and warm quilt over the layers of fleece I sleep on. Spent much time at computer or in bed.  Did not go to lodge if we had it.  Before that the firemen came as some one on the fourth floor was cooking smoky stuff and opened the door to the hall and set off the smoke detector there.  I was ready for bed and put clothes on and then when I got back in I went to bed again. Been in bed and back and forth to computer all day.  Called pharmacy and will get prescription tomorrow in the rain.
14 February: 2016
Missed bus to Church, walked in cold. Then Parish Council Meeting, took notes for them. Then was brought to Bob's to help him with items to the trash and then laundry and then to Verizon to try and get something of his fixed and then to Adi's for food and when I got back to the apartment I was so very cold, "chilled to the bone".  B ob goes into the hospital in Hartford Went to Savers and got Red Savers Club card replaced and bought an atomic clock and a sleeve to hopefully put lap top in. Later found out clock had problems, but I have enjoyed it so far, as it also tells the temperature and moon phases as well as the date and time.  I am so cold in the evening.

13 February: 2016
Cold, stayed in room also, did not go out to check mail.  Did almost nothing, in bed a lot. Not feeling well. Did not come out of my room today either but to get mail.
12 February: 2016
 Trainer sick so training scheduled for today is put off until the 26th.  So very cold I stayed in.  Did not go out of room. So cold. Slept much. Pretty much "washed out".
11 February: 2016
 Took the bus to Eastfield Mall to see if my planner was turned in, it was not.  I called it a "date book".  Bought new one at the 1 dollar store.  Took Bus directly from the mall to 3300 Main Street and Clinical person and told them about the stress from this theft.    Read more in Timeless Building by Alexander.  Went to RHAGS meeting on medical marijuana and federal vs state laws and sort of wish the speaker had been more informative and less "yeah marijuana is great".  BUT he did answer my question that taking the element that makes people "high" out of the drug does NOT lower it's medicinal value or it's benefits for other useages.  Hence I see no reason to sell the drug with the capability to alter ones mind, take that stuff out.  Almost missed bus back.  Talked with Melody, sweet lady on Bus.  So tired, exhausted, to bed.
10 February: 2016
 Went to the unaccompanied Youth meeting at Senior Center in NoHa, then stayed for meeting with Evan from the RLC grant.  Talked about steps to take next.  All of this is becoming a bit overwhelming since the theft.  I can talk about things but having trouble moving on stuff.  On the way back on to the apartment on the bus I talked with two people about the project and gave them the last two folders on the project that I had. It is imperative that I get lists together and speak with the folks we want to have "on our team" doing this.  And right now I am thinking that I might just start a for profit company on my own to launch SCARF as a project of that company.
09 February: 2016
I went to a movie with Ray Pauley, we saw Star Wars 7, then I somehow lost the second planner I had to replace the one stolen with my bicycle and back pack.  I have looked all over for it and will continue to look in the next few days.  I attend the Maple, High, 6 Corners Neighborhood Council Meeting at 6PM.  Will most probably talk about the DCAM decision to put the sheriff's department facility relating to alcohol addiction on Mill Street, right near our lodge.  The meeting of the neighborhood council will be at the Emerson/Wright community center, where the Sector E Policing meeting was last Thursday.
08 February: 2016
Came back in snow storm, flagged down driver and he picked me up. Very safe trip with very conscientious Peter Pan bus driver. Was able to "get away" from things, help some one, and attend to writing down 40+ the cards I need to have replaced after the bicycle and back pack theft.

05, 06, 07, 08 February: 2016
Most probably leave Friday night to tend to some things in the Berkshires and not return until Monday night, or maybe even Tuesday.

04 February: 2016
Got up early and down to the bus station but the bus coming up from Springfield did not make it in time to Holyoke so I had to wait an hour to catch the next bus. Then had to walk the couple of miles to the meeting, took me about 30-45 min. and I got there 15 min. late.  I got a ride back from the Individual Services Committee of the Western Massachusetts Regional Network to End Homelessness with Gerry McCafferty of City Housing and she asked how things went with the house I bid on. I told her we put in everything needed August 28th and have not heard a single thing yet.  Gerry said she would look into it for me. I said I desired that as I was told not to inquire but it has been 5 months now and I am anxious to be named the developer and get to work on this house.  I then paid a tax bill on a piece of land I have in the Berkshires I go and camp on once or twice in the summer. Want to go there about every weekend in the summer but just have other commitments that keep me in Springfield.   Then I took the bicycle out to test it and saw it needed more adjusting than I know how to do.  Then went to the Mentor's meeting as Earl of the Recovery Learning Community was giving a teaching on that and how we will be doing an Orientation for new tenants on the 18th.  After a bit I went by bicycle to the Sector E Community Policing meeting and then as soon as that ended to the Historical Commission meeting and back. As soon as I got back I checked the tires. Can you believe Wallmart sold the bicycle with only 20 lbs of air in them and it is rated for not more than 50 but there should have been at least 40 in them.  So I pumped them up. Then eating something and will go to bed. I have an appointment with Earl at the Recovery Learning Community to fill out my SNAP (Food Stamps) renewal form and talk about other things.  Will probably be gone 4 days.
03 February: 2016
All messed up today.  Looked at email, thought it was the next day, rushed to get bus to get the bus to get the bus to Northampton, only to find out the meeting is the next day but it could not be at the location I was at.  Told the lady convening the meeting and by the time I looked at email again she had another place.  I got back and had been passing out a lot. I went to take a bath before the Armory Quadrangle Civic Association's Board of Directors meeting and lay down for a bit. I feel asleep and slept through the board meeting and awoke only in time to rush up to Church for the service of the "blessing of the throats" (a week before Ash Wednesday in the Western calendar).  The to lodge and back to the apartment.
02 February: 2016
Green Committee meets with School Dept at about 1pm, and it will be 43 degrees F. Was in the fifties yesterday.  Maybe spend afternoon checking for back pack in trash.  But still I have calls to make and letters to send out, etc. This has been a nightmare in so many ways.
01 February: 2016
Early in the morning, twas at the Registry of Motor Vehicles by 7:30AM to wait in line for it to open at 9AM, and buy another ID card that expires this year.  Then to banks to try and re-establish ID and income flows.  Not much to report. When back at apartment so tired. Lodge at 6PM. This would have been a good time to look in garbage cans for my back pack, but had to do the banking stuff and ID stuff today. Tomorrow more of it.

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31 January: 2016
Church, annual meeting, prepare night before and confer with leadership in "hickups" as to what we were supposed to have done when and focus on quickly going through things.  At Parish All Voting Member meeting try and do nothing but record minutes unless asked for an opinion.
The meeting went ok, but I was not good emotionally because of the theft the day before. I was asked if it was ok if we went to Walmart by the people that were bringing me home from Church and I said OK.  Inside the store they said we were not to leave until I picked out a bicycle.  Other people had offered bicycles and I had another one in storage but there was no getting around it.  So the only bicycle that had shifting features I thought I could handle was the most expensive one in the place.  They bought it for me and cables and a rack for the back.  Don't know if the back rack can actually go on the bicycle very well.  They also insisted on buying me a camera.  This way I can get to church OK and can still take pictures of events. I still am praying for the return of my camera and secure digital media that was stolen as the images there are priceless tome and they are all about this property.  The emotional upheavle of bad and good things happening to me that I had little control over and not much time to evaluate is pretty much overwhelming.  I think I have learned a lesson here.  When we help our people we also need to let them have the time to think things over and be "at peace" with the direction things have to go in.  It is hard when you want to "do it now" but it is their lives and the building selected and the way the work is to be done and the place landscaped needs to be their decision that they make in their own time so they can defend it and support it against any questions in the future.  It will be their home.  I finished the minutes for the church meeting and tried to sleep but could not.  Back and forth on the computer and the internet.  Must get things boxed to storage soon.  Tomorrow I am picked up very early to go to the Registry of Motor Vehicles and try and obtain a replacement ID and then go to banks with it.  What a mess. Please pray for the young man that stole my bicycle that God will show him a better way to live than stealing and he can change to be the man after God's own eye that I know he was intended to be.  Thanks.
30 January: 2016
Write report on what Evan and I accomplishes, or did not in our time together re the RLC grant.  Prepare and do things for end of month. Attend the second showing of 961 St. James and try to bring all the knowledge from my years of looking at "tax auction" properties to help in this.  Do last minute things for Annual Meeting. Try to get more reports in hand.  Thoughts about the end of the first month, what got accomplished graphic.
At 5PM I went to pick up something in the road so cars would not swerve around it and an accident be causes. I parked my bicycle and walked back the few feet to get it. Someone must have turned around as when I started to walk back I saw a young person on my bicycle riding away. I tried to run after him calling to have him stop but collapsed as I tired to turn the cornner following after him.  My ids and back cards, epi-pen and camera and cards with pictures on them from the past I had brought to see if we needed them at church were all in that back pack that was on the basket of my bicycle because of my discomfort in it being on my back with my back injuries on certain days, as it was "acting up" that day.  I will need to spend much of next week trying to borrow money and re-establish some ID cards and try and get  life "back in order" somewhat.  All work will most probably cease on this but I will ask the lawyer to contact me by phone after asking the city about the disposition of my bid.  I want so much to just live a peaceful life without being robbed.  Sometimes it seems like all is bad.  Please pray for the boy that did this that he might turn to God and amend his ways as this sort of stealing from an older person can not lead him to anything good. I ask you to join me in asking God to move in the life of this person so he is redeemed and this be one of the last of such acts he does and by our prayers God moves to reclaim this soul as I want to reclaim abandoned and neglected houses and that he is also restored and becoms an active contributor of good in our society.
29 January: 2016
Finish things in morning and meet with Evan. Try to tell him all of my inner struggles so he knows "where I am coming from".  Discuss "next steps" and the backing I need for them to be accomplished.  I had wanted so much to have that house rehabbed and "behind me" by a month ago so we could focus on the needs of other people and establishing S.C.A.R.F. with at least one house completed. Seven months have gone by and since I got this grant and I feel I am hitting "brick walls" and some of them are of my own making.  It is a Psychological and emotional "roadblock".
28 January: 2016
Try to catch up on work, Business Plan, writing letter to local Habitat for Humanity, crafting things to show Evan. Medical appointment at 2PM.
This the day that 5 months ago the city said if I did not have all the duplicate information in from professionals they would need to reject my bid for 257 Central Street.  If no contact by today I guess I will have to ask the lawyer once again to discreetly ask what has happened. I am now just beginning to be concerned that some sort of a physical communication was sent to me and it just never got delivered to my mail box.
27 January: 2016
Rest some this morning, and await call from Judy at CLA-east about putting up a shopping cart for their website.  Se what is wanted, etc. Do minutes from board of directors meeting for 32 Byers Street (that was Monday) 4PM at Christ Church Cathedral for the "Point in Time" count with the Hampden County Continuum of Care looking to see how many homeless people we find living outside. Rest some and plan rest of week.
26 January: 2016
Got most everything sorted, sort of, and back into room.  Did minutes, sort of, from discussion at Church Sunday.  Then gave Property manager a copy of the first page of a newsletter I had crafted in Libre-Office Draw, from an open source template.  Then Bob took me to Savers and I bought 10 volumes of the Handyman Magazine's series on home repair, etc.  Then he took me to 961 St. James where I looked a property for sale.
25 January: 2016
Board of Directors meeting took up most  of the day, then helping someone with a computer problem they had to go elsewhere for. Finally I got to work on the room and get it mostly sorted.  Prepare for event looking at building that is up for sale, church selling their building. Finally to bed.

24 January: 2016
Church, Stefi called to say there were no vespers as she had got a text message about that and I gather she will pick me up for Church.  I have a sheet made out for people to sing in.  I will ask about what to do about my bid for 257 Central.
23 January: 2016
Supposedly Snow, I doubt it will be as bad as predicted. NOAA says about 2 inches for us, maybe a foot or two accumulation by Monday.
Not well at all. Stayed in. Did not go out and put barrles back at Lodge last night or today, maybe Stefi will take me by tomorrow. Some snow, not much. No vespers tonight as church building is so hard to heat and areas we can heat are used for other activities.  Church meeting tomorrow after the Mass. to determine what we will do about vespers, etc.  Also talk about building issues in preperation for Annual Meeting next Sunday of the voting membership of the Church.  I am still to take notes until Parish Council election in February. Need to draft a letter as nothing came in about the building and bid at 257 Central Street.  I intend to attend the hearings and city council meeting if well enough to Monday.  No real work on this project done. Will call RLC Monday maybe as well and ask advice of Church members tomorrow. Also email lawyer maybe Monday.
Tonight, after eating, I might box up some more things,  Can't figure out where camera went to.  Will eat some food and see if all of it spoiled Thursday when the fridge decided to defrost at number 6 our of 10.  I have thrown much away already.  Wish I could use my own fridge.
22 January: 2016
7:30AM, be at the Castle of Knights in Chicopee, MA, for Human Services Forum. I will speak of the need for equity and equality in the way we pay for shelter beds and services in the state and have with me this document which is essentially a local newspaper article. Then back to watch Right to Life March and such. Also try and contact folks about this project.   I have heard nothing yet and want to see if the lawyer was able to get any reply when I asked them last month if they would discreetly inquire about my bid.   My friends word haunt me "Why do you think you can help anyone else when you can't even get a successful bid on a property yourself."  Maybe the words were a little different, but the meaning was the same.  Write Friday Report.  What has been accomplished this week, when one twelfth of the year is 3/4ths over already.
21 January: 2016
Third Change in Plans: first revise folder for SCARF, then go to Boland School to read "Amos and Boris" for Children, then back and clear off area around and on bed and box and then put stuff ready to do out, if possible back there so I have very little in the hall alcove by the time the property management team leaves and I need to go to meetings.  Meetings this afternoon FoH at 5pm and Armory Quadrangle Civic Association at 7PM, be there by 6:15PM.  Doubt I can be there, but wanted to be at Historic Commission meeting. Looks like I can only get  to them on the 1st Thursday of the Month, AFTER the Community Policing meeting from now on for a bit.  Will email Evan of RLC.
20 January: 2016
Attended Western Massachusetts Network to End Homelessness Leadership Council Meeting and feel so impotent and not able to help end this horrible thing.  Came back and went to college to get the promised boxes to move things to storage. They were gone so I fished some out of the dumpster.  Often people will throw boxes in the dumpster instead of putting them in the cardboard recycle bin quite a ways away from building 20. This looks like the old cardboard recycle bin, but now painted a regular trash color. So trash gets put there. Got back and wanted so rest and go to a meeting at 5:30 and another one at 6 PM. Got to do neither.  Got a phone call and I hurt so much I just went to bed.
19 January: 2016
Worked on stuff for Church and getting ready for S.C.O.R.E. meeting.  Meeting was OK, work to do, not much encouragement.  Bob had me help him get a package off. Did some Boxing up. Made plans for light from window in bathroom to come through translucent window opening in closet to give light to the addition large room and the opposite happen as well. Want to make the house so it uses as little electricity as possible.
18 January: 2016
Martin Luther King Jr. Day, probably no work done today either. Hope I do not hurt and can do some boxing.
Must get boxed things to storage by Wednesday.
17 January: 2016
Church, maybe over to coffee hour at St. George.  Stefi goes to New York.
16 January: 2016
Hurt so bad, not get up hardly at all. Went back to bed. Glad no vespers tonight due to the cold in the building. Talked with Stefi on the phone and we both got the text of vespers online and did them over the phone.  So tired and hurt so much. Want to box but cant move much. Gong to bed. Been awake 12 hours and still nothing done, going to go to bed at 10 probably.  Hurt. C an hardly function even at Computer.
15 January:2016
Tried to work on boxing things this am, but was not good on cleaning. Am sorting instead to get things to storage.  My arms still hurt and the folks came to inspect the heating and pushed the heat all the way up. I have insulated my windows and have no need to waste heat like that. So I turned it down after they left.  It is maybe 45 at the coldest so far and normally round 60 in the bathroom, and that is when it is about 70-75 in the main room.  And it is so warm I am often in shorts.  So I don't need to use so much heat I keep the main room above 80 degrees Fahrenheit. After all this is the middle of January. Right now it is about two months until Spring, on March 20th.  This link goes to an image created by someone to show that a month was half over with. So quickly the days go by and what you wanted to do is now not done.  This link a friend sent about successful people. Oh how I wish I could be like that eventually.  The month is half over with and I still have not accomplished much.
14 January: 2016
Boxed up things in the am. almost 2am and still not in bed. Arms hurt something awful. No sleep. got to medical meetings, license commission hearing (which lasted for an awfully long time as the proprietors of a business that wanted an all alchol license paraded 25 people before the commission and only two of them spoke at all about liquor, such a strange hearing. Carol Costa was so nice as to drive me up to the Rental Housing Association of Greater Springfield meeting at Salvator's restaurant. And because of that help I did get there for much of Atty. Shea's talk and it was really good.  Many a good pointer as to what to do and what to not do, so court cases don't get dismissed.  All this is important as we also want to help people get to the point of owning a second house as a rental property and therefore give them some residual income.
13 January:2016
Went to a meeting, checked with information about getting census data, listened to webinar, helped someone with boxes and back to pack up stuff but to tired to do anything. Must of strained my muscles really bad when bicycling back in the storm. They hurt and are so weak today.
12 January:2016
Did things and went places but still did not accomplish much.  Got caught in a storm and nearly froze 3 fingers, they would not respond.
11 January: 2016
Had to lay down 5 times this morning. Don't know why I am so tired, so listless, so lethargic and I have done almost nothing.  All I did was listen to some one that called me a few times, do some searching on the computer, make a graphic and a page and then update these items on this website. Also I feel very cold when the thermometer shows that the room is warm (70 degrees F.).  This is how it was when I had pneumonia before. Wonder if there is a connection?  It is now 11:45AM and I feel like I have spent 4-5 hours doing what should be a 45min. task.  It will take me a bit of time to get things in order and get up to 1 Federal Street, third floor, for this Basics in Starting a Business seminar. It will get out a bit before 4PM.  I am so tired today, hope I can stay awake.  I was dozing off all throughout the workshop yesterday.  Narcolepsy is no fun at all.
10 January: 2016
Church, then Home Depot training, Stefi took me and her young adult children. She also wanted to learn about the topic and wants to do a similar thing at her house.  I think these workshops will be good for our people.  We went to CostCo also and she bought us dinner there. A nice time but I got back later and so I just went to bed after putting away the items I bought for this project and life. (Milk and a book at Costco, and 6mil plastic, a 2 gallon bucket and Velcro holding straps. I will get to bed early to prepare for the basics of starting a business seminar (2.5 hours) at 1 Federal Street Monday.
09 January: 2016
Home Depot for the interior painting and gypsum board repair training, some shopping, then personal stuff and did not get  to box anything.  To wrapped up on bunches of other things and had to prepare for the Church meeting.  I am often very discouraged at my inability to do things and I get so very tired so early in the day.
Vespers at 5PM.
08 January:2016
Stayed in all day and took Christmas decorations down and put more drapes and such up on the one window closing it up for the winter to retain the heat.  The bathroom seems to have a leak through the wall so I turned the heat way up to 3 out of 8 and I hate to do that.  But the bathroom got down to 49 to 52 last Tuesday and I was afraid of the water pipes freezing.  So I end up being in shorts and a t-shirt in the main room so the bathroom does not freeze.  Had a nice talk with Evan yesterday when he gave me a book and presented 4 more pm electrical wiring,  community building, creating powerful community orgaizations, and writing winning proposals.  Much to read, but information that is becoming essential to gathring the people with the skills to get this thing "off the ground" and able to help others in need.  I leave early tomorrow for Home Depot in West Springfield for a training Interior Paint and Dry-Wall (Gypsum board) Repair to be ther by 9:30AM.   Sunday I hope to be able to go from the Parish Council meeting directly back to that store for a training at 1PM in installing a kitchen backsplash.
07 January:2016
Met Carol at 8AM or so to see if I left the cane in the AQCA office.  Sometimes I just don't need a cane, and forget I came somewhere with it. met folks at Friends of the Homeless for an individual services committee meeting of the Western Massachusetts Regional Network to End Homelessness and spoke with a representative from the Massachusetts Coalition for the Homeless. I spoke with Jay Levy of Elliot Community Services when I showed him our folder and talked of my visions for S.C.A.R.F.; and then walked back to the apartment by 1PM to get ready for being picked up at 3PM to go to Pepperell, MA and be part of that installing suite. Just as I was to leave the Property Manager hailed me and told me she had not as yet received my rental check. I was astounded, I knew I started to write it out so deposit it in our locked box for rent on January 1st .  She spoke with me on the 5th and did not say anything. I told her if that every happens again that it is not in on the 1st or 2nd, then call me.  I wrote another check for the rent  (just barely had it in to cut two checks) and later found out I had most probably not written the check after all. As a narcoleptic, if I sart something and do not continue to get it done, then I remember it as accomplished, not started and not completed. Around the 1st was when Sen. Rosenberg contacted me and I was so exceted with other things being done that day I'll bet I just did not complete that task. Will do the report on this week Friday, much not done.  Am attempting to spend about 8 hours a day for at least 3 days of next week to make up for lost time in meetings, etc. Talked to many about SCARF.  Need to reach out soon to the "movers and Shakers" of this community.  Please E-Mail me if you know of someone you think would like to help us get this "off the ground".
06 January: 2016
A call last night and a friend wants to take me to the cardiac doctor today.  I reluctantly agree.  Mainly because this is a consultation.  If it were a test I think I would rather go via bus or bicycle to represent my normal mode of transportation.  I personally do not think they have found out what is wrong and I need to resist having the doctor order some pills just to make me "feel good".  He said at the last consultation "I don't know what to prescribe for you to take yet" and I replied that I did not want to take a pill.  I wanted to know what was happening. It is then, when we know what is "wrong" that we can ask God for the healing.  However first the spirit needs to be willing to submit and become in harmony with God's will.  Just like a building has to be crafted in harmony with the International Residential Building Codes, in order to be considered a safe place for a family or individual to live in.  Yesterday upon awakening it was minus 7 degrees Fahrenheit, and this morning it is much warmer at 5 degrees.  That is the winter weather I grew up with as a child in the Berkshires, between 10 and minus 10 from the first of the year into February. Often it would hover around zero or 5 to 10 above. It is much warmer "down south" here in Springfield MA.  Partly also due to all the care exhaust fumes.  Back hurts today.
Cardiologist says others have my same problems but the science has not developed far enough so they can do anything for me.  From there I went to the bank and got some money for laundry, then to Fedex Office to get something scanned in for a dollar. Then to the Registry of Deeds to check on 257 Central Street, traced it back to 1860.  Then to the Armory Quadrangle Civic Association Board meeting. Out of there late and then to Church for the Epiphany Service, had to bicycle up. Back in the cold and called to confirm I will be going to Pepperell to help in the installation of that lode, my friend is District Deputy Grand Master for that lodge and I will be helping in his installing suite.  So I will not be at the community policing meeting or the Historical Commission meeting tomorrow.  Probably need to turn the heat down in my apartment. It would not work and now it is keeping the place over 70.  Other people are complaining boaut haveing no heat, but they don't pull their shades down so the heat hits the window and is pulled out by convection.
05 January: 2016
 Did NOT go to Boston. Did work for Church, rested. Cold, stayed indoors. Did not meet with Evan of RLC grant, rescheduled until after the meeting with the cardiac Doctor on Wednesday.  Fiddled with heat regulator, finally got heat at about 9PM, went to bed.  First time all winter.  Almost sad, was learning how to live with just heat from appliances and warm clothing.  However this indicates how we can live working WITH the natural environment and not use excessive fossil fuels to keep warm.  Verifies the architects contention that we do not need special windows as much as we need window coverings (treatments) to keep warm air from cold glass.
04 January: 2016
9:30AM be at Old First Church for inaugural events and then over to City Hall for the first city council meeting.  Then went to the Registry of Deeds and researched some more about the house at 257 Central Street.  Got back to 1862!  Springfield Lodge and Agawam Encampment (I.O.O.F.) met tonight.
03 January: 2016
Church, and then in the afternoon try and get some of the boxing done that was not accomplished when scheduled to be done Friday and Saturday.
02 January: 2016
Office Work and finishing touches made on Friday Report.  Will wait to send it until about 3PM, see if I see any more errors. Replied to a Church related email and put together some things to do the Annual Meeting the end of this month.  Worked on the Vision webpage that was put up today showing S.C.A.R.F. talking points.
None of the personal stuff I had hoped to get done was accomplished.  Must do it tonight and Sunday PM.  Must have stuff ready to go to storage by Monday.  It is very cold, Temperature in Fahrenheit is 36, Wind Chill is 30, and Dewpoint is 20.  I really do not want to go out today.  I feel so cold, and it is in the high 60's F.
01 January: 2016
New method for this new year.  Everything will be left aligned and it will naturally wrap around depending on the viewer's screen size, but Date headings will still be centered.  Hope you like this method as it should help to display things better and not break up comments because of a "hard return" that was placed in the original text.  The contact from a member of the "Great and General Court" gave new hope that this vision is viable.  Folder created and put up on S.C.A.R.F. website.
Report is only partially made, will finish tomorrow morning.  Sent New Year's greetings. Did research but was bothered by friend I was to visit who is very ill right now.

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31 December: 2015
Contact from Sen. Rosenberg regarding my Old Year is Ending greetings and S.C.A.R.F. Wants to know more
I sent him initial 10 talking points we are working on.  Finished this into a folder format and sent that to him also. Put on website tomorrow.
Trip to Berkshires put off til mid January. Go to savers and redeem 30% off coupon from previous sales by today.
This may have a new page-style by time work starts on 257 Central.
30 December: 2015
Seek access to 257 Central and secure for winter, try and make so snow can not build up inside;
and so snow and wet does not continue through chimney hole in roof to floor below through ceiling.
Better weather tomorrow, 10�F above freezing N.O.A.A. predicts.
Bob wants to do more being taken from school.  Have no idea why he does it in dibs and drabs.
I assume it is because he is 82 and mainly because of the neurophysiology damage to his nerve endings
when a few years ago the Veterans Administration did not see him when he had shingles until it was to late.
I fear this will take most of the day also.  Rain today so I might not be able to secure 257 Central till tomorrow.
Rain today and bitter cold, wind chill and temperature the same at 28� F. at 3AM.
NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION  =  Office Hours set for SCARF,  just like a job I am paid for. 
I am NOT available for friends or others until "free time" has been assigned OR the 'work day' has concluded.
If I must go to a meeting then that TIME must be MADE UP out of my "free time".
Work day for first part of the year, January-March will be 4 hours a day. 
Moving and packing is other "job" of 3 Hours a Day.
29 December: 2015
Bob called, all plans off, he wants to do the Holiday Meal laundry this morning.
We did but he insisted there was no reason for a fan running at his car when I went out to get something.
So, a few hours later, even the doors will not unlock or lock, as the battery is dead to the car.
Missed professional appointment at 2PM, did not get back until after 3:30PM,
and then unloaded much of car.  I had gone to savers and got a few things for 257 Central St. project.
Very discouraged. People called and asked about project.
28 December: 2015
Clean up from Holiday Meal.  32 Byers Street, Inc. at Noon.  Then more stuff for clean up.  Did minutes for 32 Byers St.
27 December: 2015
Going to be late for Church service and don't feel like doing much at all.
MUST box up lots of stuff and get most of my things to storage.  A friend indicates I am about to be evicted again.
He has a good handle on these things and was at the last board of directors meeting so he might know.
Must put things together tonight for board of directors meeting for 32 Byers Street, Inc. Monday. No minutes to me yet.
Worked on designs to see about asking the architect for inside measurements he has for 257 Central so I can do estimates again.
Four months have gone by since the "drop dead" date of August 28th and 7 months since the bid was put in. 
I am so discouraged and frustrated.  But what if this had happened to any of our people.  This is not evil, it is just that the
city people are so over worked that things sometimes "slip through the cracks" when it is not for money.
A commercial rfp came about 5 months after the one I bid on and city council voted last week to transfer the deed to them.
So I must assume that the information came and got put somewhere and maybe the man person is not told of it yet.
If nothing by January 5th, day after the city council reorganizes, I will seek advise, maybe from the Mayor's office.
Now it is 5PM, nothing yet for tomorrows meeting and I was not there, for the last board meeting, at the doctors.
Going to leave tonight to help someone get things moved so workman can do things next week,
a welcome relief from not being able to do anything right.
26 December: 2015
Clean up from Holiday meal. I tried to help but was pretty much useless not doing it as they wanted it done.
The Feast of St. Stephen at Church, break away before festival was over with to help in more of the Holiday Meal clean up.
Then back and bicycle to church to see if I could help clean up there, they were gone early this year.
Then bicycle up to 257 Central and read a bit at the bus stop of a Sarah Susanka "not so big" book.
Back to apartment and to sleep, exhausted.  Awoke to late to go to vespers.  So much sin, so much "missing the mark".
25 December: 2015
Holiday Meal and clean up. Then went to bed so tired.
24 December: 2015
Helped with the Holiday Meal preparation, or rather tried to.  I don't seem to do anything right.
Church at St. Stephen at 8Pm, I got there at 7:30PM at night.  Was hit by a car while stopped at a traffic light.
Then rode up by 257 Central to look at the place I had hoped to spend Christmas in.  sigh.
It is good these things have happened to me.  I will know when our people experience similar frustrations.
But still it hurts inside.  Can't seem to fix anything.  maybe I am worthless as some say.
23 December: 2015
Tried to help with the Holiday Meals preparation, but I can't seem to please the people. 
Went, via a ride, to the event at RLC in Holyoke, but it is actually tomorrow.
Event at the Fort Restaurant, at 6PM was nice, just is I hate eating out.  I choke to much. 
Brought the gift for one shut in, and need to deliver the other one myself, somehow.
22 December: 2015
Helped as best I could with more "Holiday Meal" stuff and hope to go to Savers.
21 December: 2015
Helped get some things ready fro the Holiday Meal, meat, etc. then rest most of the day.
City Council Special meeting met at 5PM. and at a regular meeting at 7PM,
I was there at 6:30PM but did not speak.  169 Maple and other properties were voted to be transferred.
169 Maple was put up for RFP a few months r a year before 257 Central.  There was a high bidder.
The City, according to some, has kept  silence. The put it out for RFP again.
Was it because the high bidder used Job Corps students and many might be black?
This was the last hearing session for 2015, next hope is at the end of January, 2016.
20 December: 2015
Last Sunday before Christmas, 2015
19 December: 2015
Must box up a majority of the stuff not being used regularly and get it to storage. 
Vespers at Church.  Have stuff ready to go to shut-ins.
18 December: 2015
  Around2 to 4 AM I got on the computer and made a more generic Christmas note, this time also as a self mailer.
EcoCardiogram today, was there at 3300 Main St. by 8:33AM (3300 Main Street).
Awoke after 8:04AM and rushed to dress and bicycle there as fast as I could.
Came back from the EcoCardiogram feeling well, until I came inside my apartment.
Suddenly it hit and I became so tired and worn out that I had to abandon the computer and maybe sleep.
A few days ago I took my stuff out of alcove and maybe I need to re-box so my bicycle can somehow get in room.
I just can't lift it up and down to carry it down to the bicycle room we made downstairs. 
I am so depressed at my inability to work on SCARF stuff.  When I am not tired, the constant pains distract me.
I write the report to Evan today, actually it is finished and only sorrowfully submit it.  I will most probably,
if the weather stays mild, hold off asking the city for access to 257 Central towards the end of this month.
I would like to cover over the hole where the chimney used to be in the addition and keep rain & snow out of upper windows.
I am still hoping they will designate me as developer and we can move towards to purchase and rehab work.
17 December: 2015
One year ago today the bids were due for the RFP first put out on 257 Central Street by the city of Springfield, MA.
Do stuff for Church communications letter telling of Holiday events by 9AM and sent to Deacon Michael.
Read at Boland School at 10AM, then back and met a friend went with a friend to his Birthday movie event.
So tired all I could do was get  off the bus early and got o drug store and get some paper so I can make some Christmas notes. 
The empty boxes had been placed onto the bed that I have tried to sleep on it the past few days and
though it seems nice, I get no sleep and have bad back aches after sleeping in bed.
Real rest only comes with mats and pads put down on the floor and towels and such there.
No FoH board meeting so I created a design (click here for a pdf) to give to the historical commission folks.
At the Kimball Towers by 5:45PM to help with the AQCA Christmas Party, I greeted people. 
At the "sing along" section of the party I left to get to the last Historical Commission meeting for this year.
I got there just in time to give my documents and speak in favor of the commission at the speak out section.
Then back to the Kimball Towers to help in the last bit of "clean up" then got a ride back to the apt.
Talked with Security Guard there. It is his last day.  He can not work two shifts any more. 
He also can not deal with the constant whining and seeking to have people give them things but not
willing to work for anything or achieve things themselves, but bickering and acting like stubborn children or
worse yet, like people in a nursing home geting senile.  Some of these people have been here over a decade.
One man has had troubles with being drunk and after 12 years of him doing nothing to help himself he is being evicted.
He has lost all court cases recently and finally is boxing stuff up to leave.  I speak to him with his friend
and I think she is helping him back up all his stuff, much is in the lobby and I guess we will see him no more.
This man is brilliant, but alcohol has made him like a babbling idiot.  It is so sad. 
Many people need more than can be given here in straight rental housing.
16 December:2015
Help Bob in the morning doing stuff getting ready for the Holiday Meal and do decorations for Christmas as the Lodge.
Need to review the book I read tomorrow.  Christmas Letter design I promised for Church by Monday finally done today.
Amity and Springfield Lodge's combined Christmas Party is tonight and I think I have some one to go there with me.
Must sent out
15 December:2015
Mid point in month, only 10 Days until Christmas and 16 until the new year, where did the time go to.
  Conferred with a Social Work Professional about my responses to the stress and uncertainty of things here.
He is trying to have me be "realistic" and not be around stressful people.  I want to get things "on paper" so if I die
there will be some ideas and outline of what I had hoped things could accomplish.
I went to Savers and bought 10 books and some stuff for the Lodge, Christmas lights, and stuff for the bathroom.
I did not, I think, call fro a VIMUG meeting, if I did I messed up as I did not get to college to host it.
14 December:2015
City Council Hearings meeting but the house I bid on is not on the schedule.
I was not feeling well. Slept a good deal in order to do one email.  Got gift to Rosa to add to the Campus Civitan group
that is being dropped off at a Restaurant.  Bob helped me to get up to Savers and get that stand
for an art table with a file drawer in it you can put pencils, etc. on top.  I had gotten ready so we went to Amity Lodge
and met Wes Browning there and went  Amherst Lodge for Christmas Event held at the Masonic Hall in Belchertown.
13 December:2015
Church and then afternoon resting.  I was not good enough to read. Did go to Savers and buy a stand.
12 December: 2015
Will need to spend time on things at my storage unit and try to hook up some temporary lighting/electricity.
But that mus wait.  Had no time to box up stuff for storage. Could not find Christmas decorations and such.
Went to Vespers and brought a book and was at the kid's "movie night" at Church, but am not normally into movies.
This one talked about a little' girls wish she asked "Santa" for.  I went into the library and cried and prayed.
To many young children, especially children in war torn Syria, see their Christian elders killed by Muslims.
There is to much domestic violence and hatred in this world. No child should experience this. What can we do?
S.C.A.R.F. is one way you can help. We need much money to "pull this thing off" and help people.
We are not looking at a pot of money from "Uncle Sam" but all of us pitching in with what we can do.
The "Santa Claus" figures of this world are you and I as we do what God has put on our heart to do
to help others in need.  We dare not refuse  to heed that call to do good to others.
11 December: 2015
So tired this morning.  Can't seem to function. Wrote Friday report for Grant people. Might do not much else
other than updating these pages. Must be working 8 hours a day on this project but can't seem to accomplish anything.
Just wonder if the life I am living is now sort of "fading away" and I have no control over it all.
Might just go out shopping.  Just to be with folks and look around.  Might just stay at apt. and rest.
10 December: 2015
Today I am to meet with Evan of RLC on the grant and I am really tired.
Will try and email him early in the day. This week I have been so tired so much.
I have just got almost nothing done.  Will hang up a wreath at the building I am in now since it looks
like I will not get even the nod to redevelop 257 Central before Christmas, but now I think I will it elsewhere.
Just to much selfishness and laziness on the part of most of the "community room" squatters in this apt. building.
Rental  Housing Association of Greater Springfield dinner meeting with speaker from Emerald Lead Inspection
was really great and I won the Christmas Gift of a year's membership.  Such a great gift right now.  Talked with
the speaker afterwards and more than ever I need to pay the some $250 or more and take the moderate deleading class
so I can remove appropriately lead based painted items on the inside of the building at 257 Central (& others) legally.
09 December: 2015
Early up to Holyoke and got to the wrong place.  I had e Betty Medina Lichtenstein during meetings to end
homelessness and she drove me to look for the meeting. We finally found it after 3 stops and she walked in
to make certain it was there .  It was a meeting to work on helping homeless youth and talked of ways to
engage a conversation with them to build trust.  Got a ride back with the communications officer of the city.
Learned of an RFP that might give money for the non-profit to replace the furnace at 32 Byers Street.
Sent an email about that and then helped a fellow do some things and he took me shopping, including deserts for
the Citizen's Police Academy Graduation tonight.  Then he dropped me off there and someone else brought me back.
Called Mass Landlords about my membership in R.H.A.G.S. (and will go to dinner meeting tomorrow) before CPA graduation.
08 December: 2015
Helped at Holiday Sale, Amity Lodge Treasurer came by and bought a wreath at the Sale at S.T.C.C.
I bought the last wreath and we were out a few hours later than planned.
Came back and went to Arise for Social Justice to talk with some people about 32 Byers Street, Inc. stuff.
Then to the Maple, High, Six Corners Neighborhood Council meeting and spoke with representative from
the Sheriff's office.  Secretary gave me copy of her email to the contact person on the bid, it bounced.
07 December: 2015
Got up to STCC Greenhouse and helped with Landscape Dept Wreath Sale. Mostly just there.
I would carry out some wreaths, swags, etc. for people or just open door for them, another Alum helped also.
That night I am District Deputy Grand Marshall in the installation of Amity Lodge, held at Springfield Lodge, I.O.O.F.
City Council had it's first regular meeting of the month today.
06 December: 2015
Church by bicycle in AM. Sever Heart pains in Church and afterwards.
Feared to ride bicycle so walked to park next door and read for an hour.
Then to 257 Central area at bus stop near building and read for an hour.
Then to St. George Greek Orthodox Church for the Concert to benefit the Cancer
department at Baystate Noble Hospital. Another $10 well spent. Back to apt. and bed.
05 December: 2015
Did not feel well at all.  Lay down much.  Some short bicycle ride. Really tired.
04 December: 2015
Did not do much of anything, sick all day. Got up to late to help make wreaths.
Told Dept. Head I will come to help be at the Christmas Wreath Sale Monday, and???
03 December: 2015
Missed meeting in Northampton.  Did some shopping. Can't get much done
Revised cover for daily activity notebook and log.
Got to Community Policing meeting that night and people asked about my bid.
They will contact the city for me.  Then bicycled down to Historical Commission Meeting.
02 December: 2015
Rested most of the day. Some Shopping at Savers, mostly so tired
Armory Quadrangle Civic Association Board meeting and then Citizens Police Academy.
Last meeting at the Springfield Police Academy, rainy night, almost got run into 6 times, scary.
Glad I do not want to be a police officer, to much to think of in a short time time frame, I messed up.
01 December: 2015
Went to see a health professional and then back to bed. Sooo tired.
Was picked up at 5:30PM and went to Greenfield RLC Fundraiser to keep the rental.
$10 well spent. Good night. Talked with my RLC Grant contact in both directions.
Also help someone with some moving around of stuff.

30 November: 2015
Sort of good news. Went to a doctor that when I filled out the first time patient sheet
much of what I was complaining about was there.  He said it was to early to prescribe something
and I said I was not looking for a pill, just to find out what was going wrong with me.
Went to my allergist that afternoon and then back to the apartment to rest.  I get so worn out lately, doing nothinng.
29 November: 2015
Rest  Very tired and worn out. Got to Church, period.
28 November: 2015
Over 6 months ago I put in the bid for this property.
Over 3 months ago I furnished the information about contractors and architects drawings etc. the city wanted.
Right now I sit and wonder if nothing is to happen and will start December looking at various "plans b, c, d, etc.". 
We must help our people when faced with what seems to be a denial by neglect.
I am so thankful that this process has been so difficult and troublesome for me.
Without these "bumps in the road" I would have never understood what others might go though.
I would have never known the pain.  So today I do some packing to move more of my things to storage,
and pray for my friend who has relative helping them pack up the stuff I did not pack when with them earlier in the week.
Will try and read some more of Sara Susanka's "Not So Big Remodeling" book, and just try and rest some.
No Vespers at St Stephen Orthodox Church tonight, might go to Sts. Peter and Paul.
Today and tomorrow are pretty much days of rest and a renewal of hope
as I look at alternatives to plans for the past 6 months, and seek God's will for whatever "tomorrows" I have left.
 27 November:2015
Clean up more after Holiday Meal yesterday and then box some.
  Would like to buy a color printer, probably no money for that.
  Did NOT go by the place at 257 Central yesterday, to painful.
  Most likely now the city will ignore the bid and just demolish it.
Looks like I failed again, life seems nothing but a string of failures.
We need to plan for our people over holidays when they don't have the Certificate of Occupancy yet.
We need to make some sort of special times so they can celebrate what they have accomplished already,
even if it is only floor plans or a list of "to do" lists and not let them dwell on what is not happening.  Often a person
has what might be called "unrealistic" plans about celebrating a holiday at their "own house", but the nature
of building and remodeling is that surpirses happen and often the time schedule can not be kept.
So we need to help our people when the circumstances would normally put them "in the blues".
Like the Jazz singers, we need to take a sad time, and make it a "happy" one.
26 November :2015
Thanksgiving Day. Helped use GIMP to craft and personalize Thanksgiving Greetings.
Got ride, but I got in late at the Holiday Meal site,  did not do a good job, Police Called.
Were back at apartment by 3PM and so tired, went right to bed, then computer through night.
Funny how you want things you can't have, like relationships.  Did not call other friend in Berkshires
that I usually meet up with. She is spending much time with a friend that had another accicent.
25 November: 2015
Got more boxes packed, now over 37 that were placed in a closet that was cleaned out
for that purpose. More people come and pack again Saturday.  With boxes not in large closet,
39 cardboard boxes and one plastic tub was packed and two tubs made available for medications
and other stuff needed to treat the persons many medical conditions.  Confirmed ride tomrrow
24 November:2015
Went with friend to accompany as a lease was signed.  Bus triptook two hours to get there.
We got that distance and found the person was sick and so no one else could wittness
the lease being signed.  They will need to go back again. We got back (another 2 hours)
and were exhuasted. No packing for hours, both rested. Friend had to take extra medicines.
Bet that a bus ride is not in the future any more, might be something else.
Around 6PM we tried to start packing some things again.  So tired.
23 November:2015
City Council Meeting is tonight.  Could not be there. Helping box things for a friend.
22 November:2015
Sunday at Church
then left by bus, walked some and got a ride to a friends place to help pack boxes for a move.
Went to a "dollar general" store to get some boxes and food to eat while there.
21 November:2015
Another HAP workshop, 9 to 1PM
20 November: 2015
Check on 257 Central and weatherized items for winter.
Seek to get in to secure cellar from inside. 
City Council meeting is next Monday.
19 November: 2015
11:20AM cardiac doctor meeting at 3300 Main St.
See if Historical Commission meets tonight
18 November: 2015
Help as need be getting ready for Thanksgiving "Holiday Meal".
Citizens Police Academy at 6PM
17 November: 2015
Green Committee meeting at 6PM at City Hall
16 November: 2015
Springfield Lodge officers are to be installed.
City Council meets tonight.  Be there if developer designation is made.
However I have heard nothing and we asked the lawyer to say something Friday.
Lodge installation is tonight.  Conflicts.  Much to do.
15 November: 2015
Half way point in the month.   Talk with all principles with regards to this house
and contact RLC further and ask for more advice.
The council right now is to expect the city will reject my bid by ignoring it.
Since nothing has happened, funding might be withdrawn.
14 November: 2015
Hope to be at the First Time Home Buyer workshop today and next Saturday.
Sat next to lady that was with me in same seat for the basics in rental property management class.
  Bob Maurice was there to take me to Lodge for Agawam Encampment Installation at 1:30PM
We then tried to get batteries and the right light at Home Depot, they did not have them.
Went to Staples to get a flash drive to see if I can same some files on that, others locked out.
13 November: 2015
Friday S.C.A.R.F. report, start reading grant writing books.
Continue with Sara Susanka "Not so Big House" series
Help as needed getting ready for "holiday meal".
Maybe get my cane from Wednesday I left in a person's car, I was tired.
12 November: 2015
Prepare for meeting with Evan and write tomorrow's report.
Make many calls. Have daily work plan to be established and start on Sunday.
Rental Housing Association of Greater Springfield Dinner Meeting at 6PM
Judge Fine addresses us about housing issues at the Twin Hills country club.
If nothing by then, take with me a letter to ask the Lawyer to make "discrete inquiries"
about the status of my bid for 257 Central Street.  Monday is the city council meeting.
11 November: 2015
Remember our War Veterans today.
Make call by Friday to city contact about getting access to 257 Central to secure upper windows
and roof so snow and such does not come in this winter if no designation as developer
is given as yet.  Had hoped to make inquiries and go to law libraries to check on this type of situation.
Did get up Holyoke and helped wash walls so paint could be applied in the kitchen area. A great time.
Check the Revitalize CDC website for information about this effort to help a veteran in Holyoke.
Citizens Police Academy was great three speakers about Youth, C3 initiative, and Drugs, etc. task force.
10 November: 2015
It is my friend Bob's birthday today. Sent him an electronic card via email to him.
Signed up to work tomorrow at the Revitalize CDC efforts
to help rebuild a veteran's home in Holyoke, MA.  We do similar things.
Just is S.C.A.R.F is to be set up to help people obtain a vacant building, rehab and
move into it as a home of their own
and Revitalize CDC helps current home owner fix up their property.
I hope to get things together and call "Partners" lawyer for another meeting.
More boxes to go to storage put up by days end and more S.C.A.R.F. work done
Check on more items from SCORE and other business to business workshops by next week.
Get information about the Chamber of Commerce and such groups by middle of the month.
Maple, Hill, Six Corners neighborhood council meeting tonight at 6PM
9 November: 2015
Could not sleep well, so wrote letter to give the lawyer's office about 257 Central
if nothing is received by Thursday.  I am so concerned it is now getting cold and difficult to do work.
I am to meet Ray Pauley today, I thin about 10:30 or 11AM and go to a Christian movie.
I hope I can go to St. Georg at 9AM for the feast of St. Nectarios, my name day saint.
Then open up my self bought present.
Then work on more items for S.C.A.R.F. and speak with Evan of RLC.
Have a list made by the end of the day for possible people to met about S.C.A.R.F.
and put together Articles of Organization, Constitution and Bylaws and such
as "starter" ideas for input and creation of the same.
Go to City Hall and get appropriate paperwork and create Charles Knight & Associates
as a real entity, and establish a "brick and mortar" spot to work out of, legally.
Get all the papers needed to file with City Hall as well.
Call HAP and ask about that "First Time Home Buyers Class", I think it is Saturday.
8 November: 2015
Sunday, Church,  here as I had a phone call and so did not visit in the Berkshires.
One person might be moving and I will maybe help him move in the near future.
Stephi and her family picked me up for Church and took me to Costco in West Springfield aftewards.
We looked at stuff and I bought some flavored water and a reproduction of Bullfinch's Mythology.
They took me home and her son Gabe ran mybuzzer and gave me my coat I had forgotten.
She had him even insist on giving me $25 for my birth day. I am astounded.
This will be my "emergency money" to put aside and use in great need.
7 November: 2015
It is 3AM and I am trying to write the Friday report and set a second file for
my web page items. Somehow I got locked out of my flash drive. Need a Linux Guru.
BUT it might just be that the old computer of maybe 7 years ago is "dieing".
HAP "Basics of Rental Property Management" class at 9AM was great, then come back
to apt and change clothing and help a friend in cutting brush on his property,
per order of the city.  Invasive species have taken over the place and we
2 November: 2015
I was in all day, not feeling to well and stayed in waiting for a call back from HAP.
No one called or left a message. I did not box up stuff.
But before I left for Church and then a set of Lodge meetings
a note was on my door, just taped to the door.
No call, no buzz, no knock on the door, just taped there.
I came back from the lodge meeting and people were asking where I had been. 
I had been here since morning through about 4:45PM.
The point is that these words are at the middle of that letter taped to my door
" In conversation with ownership of the building
at 32 Byers Street, Springfield, MA we have agreed to send this notice
assuring you of your tenancy at this building.

The notice for eviction for non payment of rent sent on 9/ 16 / 2015
is now considered null and void.

Please be aware that rent is due on the fist of the month.

We pick up the rent in the box
located at 32 Byers Street (The Rainville)
by the 10th of the month
. Also, the notices are meant to spark a conversation. "
So I can stay here a bit longer.  BUT I want to move most everything not needed out.
So I can be ready to move at a moments notice, if I get the house.
1 November: 2015
All Saints Day. 
Church and going door to door giving candy, etc. to folks in immediate neighborhood.
Unless papers are signed allowing me to be in current apartment, be staying
somewhere else.  If that happens, this website might only be updated weekly,
when I can access a library and do it.
Work WILL continue about S.C.A.R.F. and helping someone get into their own home.
Not feeling well tonight staying in and resting as much as I can. Many folks are sick.


31 October: 2015
Move last of boxed things out and into storage by Sunday the 29th of November.
I have a verbal indication they do not mean to evict me, but that means nothing
unless a piece of paper to backs it up.  They sent a paper saying to get out by Nov. 1. 
Finally absolutely stupid "daylight" subtraction "time" ends.
"If no reprieve given, move all things out an go somewhere tonight" is what I said,
looks like Thursday I obtained a verbal reprieve, but I will not believe it until
I see something in writing.  Might need to contact the lawyer on this also.
Should be down to just two suite cases and a back pack of items.
But I have not been able to do that.  It is a goal to have almost everything out.
Maybe also a small box of canned goods. Work towards that in November.
At midnight I walked up to 257 Central to see if there was any damaged,
I was sort of dressed as death with a trench coat and hood and a hand held lantern
which emitted a ghostly green light. I seemed to look like "death" itself.
 
Liz was outside the community room talking when I left and
still there talking when I got back a little before 3AM. She has her
chair in the hallway again to sit.  I want out of this place. I think it is getting
a lot like a mental section of a nursing home around here.  I want to be away from here.
30 October: 2015
Morning to be spent putting things to third floor of storage placed.
Get access maybe today to put tarp on and plastic on windows if not done before.
Continue with storage of items not used daily.  Continue to seek to be able to rent at
my current location through the winter.  Operate as if that a tenancy will be renewed
or re-established need not  leave, but box and pack up as if I am only given
a 30-90 day extension; and not hope of more time.
Box up and store all now but a suitcase of things. 
Almost all furniture and large items out of apartment by end of November.
Write the Friday report for RLC grant while still here. 
Important we discuss these issues and what we can do to help
should our folks encounter them.
Call to disconnect telephone if I must leave tomorrow,
but as of yesterday, looks like I can stay for the next month.
Make plans for moving though for when it happens.
Order to disconnect might need to be done on a "business day" and will
most probably happen by or on a certain day. Find out about those things.
Was not able to be at house or near it tonight, to tired.
29 October: 2015
Since no reply from city yesterday, then write a note to attorney to ask about
gently inquiring as to the status.  He might suggest to wait until November
had started as we are only a few days away from that.  We know the city
"has a lot on it's plate" and yet we have already had the first snow fall.
Ask again if the time could start later or be extended for rehab and
certificate of occupancy, if they have been able to research that option.
Some work can be done, if electricity is to the building even in the cold of winter. 
Talk with Evan of RLC about this path.  We talked about the people needed for a nucleus
to form the group to write the Articles of Organization with the state and other documents
to create S.C.A.R.F. or whatever it will be called by the end of the first quarter of 2016.
Especially if we can get access to just put heavy clear plastic on upper story windows
and tarp over chimney hole in roof to try and reduce any more damage to the building.
By December 1st, and maybe by November 1st all roof & outside work
has to be halted or not started.  So those months are not to productive.
Seek, if development rights are granted, that the time be extended to
9 or 12 months to allow roof and masonry and exterior repairs to take place
in the warmer weather.  Work could proceed, with some heat, in cold weather
but slowly and not in the order normally planned. 
I think this is an opportunity to show our people how things can get done,
even if the time frame is not optimal. 
It also is time for us to get commitments with various contractors and professionals
to agree to help us now and then so our people have folks they can contact
and get the go ahead in 6 or so days and not have to wait 6 or so months.
Spend much of the rest of day the day boxing and taking items to storage. 
Try to ask the Property Management Company for more time to be at this
location, nothing "coming together" as I had desired so far.
Evan did a video shoot of me saying some segments about S.C.A.R.F. in front of 257 Central St.
from the sidewalk with the building in the background.  He will edit them in November with hopes for a
You Tube channel to be up with at least one video on it by December.  We got back late.
I then got a call and took about 15  more boxes over to storage. Will go tomorrow to put upstairs.
28 October: 2015
Get more things ready to go to storage, only want a suitcase left by weekend,
but not proceeding well.  Exhausted this morning, must rest.
Call or email tomorrow about Lease agreements and work on
first agreements with clients of ours, intake, rough draft, etc.
1PM went to Pioneer Vally Urology, bring Sarah Susanka book to read while waiting,
and notes folder for ideas. Update the same.
Traveled urology on bicycle, got rained on on the way back,
took bus to Citizens Police Academy meeting, got a ride back.
Talked with some folks at Arise for Social Justice about these issues.
Craft letter to lawyer by end of week if no reply by end of day today
as to bid for this house, & the status as we provided all they wanted on time.
27 October: 2015
So much frustration and now I find that the next city council meeting
will not be until November 16th.  So I spent time and  made a plan for a start date
(on remodeling this house) of late November or early December,
this is hard to do it, starting in December, and the question is can lines
be dug for utilities, etc. at this time of the year.  It is more than just "hook-ups".
Try and box up and get things ready to go to storage.  I have only 4 more days
until the 1st of November when I am to be out of here.
Ownership said yesterday for property management to tell those of us
who paid on time we are not being evicted.
BUT so far there is no word and NO email or phone call. 
A letter can not get here but for days.
Spending most of morning on "survey" matters for the 'Rainville',
then will be picked up for medical appointment.
2pm appointment at 3300 Main Street.
Went to at "Savers" as it was "Senior Day" and bought blankets
in case I need to move out of here and go to a place without much heat.
Work on Flyer and Folder and work with Evan to set a date in November
and just have that first meeting, regardless of who comes.
Put notice of meeting in media outlets maybe 2 weeks before.
Set up a plan of action with Evan, maybe this week.
All of this probably means we can not meet until after the elections,
and maybe not until near Thanks Giving day.
The weekend after November 16th is a possibility, if I get to be
named developer and it is approved by the city Council on the 16th.
26 October: 2015
Moved some things and then back to print some things for the 32 Byers St.Inc.,
board meeting, including bylaws.
Did not get to call HAP in the morning and had to help with another
"crises" in the afternoon.
32 Byers Street, Inc. board of directors meeting and one of them
became belligerent and was voted off the board.
Had to, as clerk, inform the other board members of this decision. 
Voted off member files a discrimination case against us.
   2PM Baystate Cardiology meeting at 3300 Main Street is missed
and rescheduled.   So "stressed out" over these childish actions
by this board member I could not box up hardly anything,
just a few bits of clothing.  Hope to be able to stay a month or more longer.
Got up to Amherst by 6PM with Bob Maurice and Wes Browning
in tuxedo and was Grand Marshall for District Deputy Master as
we installed Amherst Lodge # 152 of the Independent Order of Odd Fellows.
25 October: 2015
Sunday Church and All Parish Meeting.
Sunday Afternoon, box up more things to go to storage.
Print all that is needed for Monday's 32 Byers Street, Inc. meeting.
24 October: 2015
Get ready for Church All Parrish meeting tomorrow.
Prepare to do things with  the children next Sunday, All Saints Day.
Box up and move as much as I can to storage.
Have minutes done for Monday's 32 Byers Street, Inc. board meeting
Monday by Sunday night.
Continue to box up stuff.  Hope I can make an arraignment to
stay at this lodging a bit longer, but box up most stuff anyway.
Need to clearly mark and segregate those items that must NOT get frozen. 
Move everything else to storage.
Make a log so I know where to retrieve such and rearrange storage
so the area of the log boxes are separate.
23 October: 2015
Did not go to the 9AM Hampden County Veteran's meeting and
did not have a CoC meeting as far as I know.
People calling me this morning so I have not gotten much done.
Must contact the college bookstore to see about getting boxes.
Want to speak with folks at HAP, but can't seem to get an email reply. 
Complete Lease work in rough draft.
Will work on folder to have more personal version from me and
invitation to come to meetings finished by the end of the month.
Wrote report for Recovery Learning Community grant and
sent written report and update websites likewise.
This idea I might have to leave in less than a week is taking up
a good deal of my attention these days.
22 October: 2015
Read at Boland School, arrived 10AM and checked in, was sent up to the room.
A mistake, they were to have at test, but they let me read and
I tried to rush through it. Hope to do better next month.  Great kids.
Waited to help someone and then got sick eating. Went back to apartment
and then over to lodge to put out trash and then back for the AQCA candidates
night and helped set up at  5:30PM and tear down afterwards
about 70 people came at one time or another.
21 October: 2015
Hope to get up early and go to the magazine park area and say
hello to the tree planters today on the streets around Magazine Park. 
Then went to the health issues presentation on casino gambling
in Massachusetts at the Community Music School
Then there was the Ultra sound at 100 Wasson Ave. (Baystate) at 1PM.
Got to Library and pre-read book a few times that I will read aloud to children
this month.  First Reading aloud to Children event is tomorrow,
arrive at Boland school by 9:45 am, go to library and get book. 
Try again to contact legal people after arraigning meeting with HAP people.
Citizens Police Academy meeting is at the Police Department tonight,
be there by 5:30PM to help.
Had hoped to finish editing folder, but with the eviction pending
I might have to put that off more days.
The fact there is no letter saying to disregard the eviction
and rental period notice is very disturbing.  Must assume they want me out.
Will need to develop policies and guidelines to help our people who
experience this when attempting to buy and rehab a home.
So many things, hindrances, obstacles, etc. I would never had imagined,
but are experiencing them now.
Thank God for all of this so I have an idea of what those we would be
trying to help might have for similar difficulties.
20 October: 2015
Bought book online about "Sketchup for Architectural Designs".
Must do something. No word from the city yet on my bid of May 27th
with the additional information on Funding in to them early July
and the Architectural and contractor info by August 28th.
Want to go to Savers for Senior Day & got stuff; also got curtain rods for Church.
Today I continue to try and help a friend to move brush from his property,
last stuff needed before his Inspection of property. 
Continue think of changes on the folder telling of S.C.A.R.F. to give folks,
but by next Tuesday I need to have my belongings boxed up. 
Got the schedule yesterday by email and will look at the book
I read to children at Boland School Thursday morning,  at 10am.
Need to be at Church by at least 5:30PM with my stuff and rods and curtains
to hang something over the holes where duct work was.
This is the last in the series on asceticism.  Soon we start a series about the first "crusade". 
Tuesday nights have been our Bible Study nights.
19 October: 2015
Crafted work on a lease for 32 Byers Street, Inc.
Called HAP and asked to have a meeting with John Fisher.
Help Friend with clean up of house, but mostly moved stuff
around and got things to go to a dump and got stuff for others. 
Am so tired, tried to sleep some again, but could not.. 
This exhaustion and constant muscle pain are annoying.
Wrong thing not to have brought plants to heated room yesterday,
it was about 18degreees F. this morning, according to NOAA.
A roofer cut a lot of tree tops and we need to get them and some
invasive species that have grown up this season, today.
We did other stuff and did things for his family & will need to do it all again tomorrow.
Also work on revising the folder (correct name for what people call a brochure)
about S.C.A.R.F. to give out must be delayed a few days.
First draft is done and this is the rough draft with page marking and such.
18 October: 2015
Church in the morning, Stephi picked me up. 
Deacon Michael bought me in the afternoon to help a friend.
We got a lot of things moved and I packed up plants and
brought them to a shelteed storage place; did not bring them to a heated room.
Got back to my apt. to do something for the friend
thinking I had 30 min. before I had to leave.
But the computer said I was late already.
Spent time finding the lock and cable and then bicycled up to the 
special tour of Cemetery at that started at 4PM.
Got there in time to see the last of the characters to be reviewed
present about his life.  As always, the Springfield, Preservation Trust
did a great job in presenting this.
17 October: 2015
At Human Centered Design Class most of today,
then help friend with city problems.
16 October: 2015
Do work most of the morning on possible solutions for problems
at 32 Byers Street property I am clerk to the board of ownership for now.
Make report to Evan at RLC about this project this morning and
into the afternoon update SCARF websites.
At friend's house helping get brush and invasive species cut down in am
and pm, afternoon medical appointment at 3PM.
Might not get to helping my friend until after 4PM,
this day is getting bogged down in all sorts of stuff.
Morning medications at 1:30PM.
The comments about my eviction notice at 32 Byers Street
are in a pdf accessed through this link along with my bank statements
.
15 October: 2015
Up at 6am and getting a ride to be in Northampton by 7:30AM, for the Utilities company meeting
about helping folks that are behind in their bills.
I got it wrong when I thought it was last month. 
I want to know this information to help our people get things right.
There are other things this day, and it is officially
half way through October today.  Only 16 more days to All Saint's Day.
Tomorrow is the 30th day after I got a letter saying I
had to be out of this location by November 1st for "non-payment of rent".
The truth is I had put the money in the rent box on the 2nd of September.
I had taken a nap the evening of the 1st and overslept.
The eviction 30 day notices were sent out dated the 16the of September and
the rent checks were not picked up until about or after Sept. 22.
My check was not posted as cleared my bank, online, until 25-27 days
after it was written.  But the language says I must get out.
In so doing the property management people changed my tenancy
from a tenant at will to a tenant at sufferance.
If nothing comes in the mail by Friday I will see about speaking to
an attorney next week.  There is a Doctor's appointment at 3PM Friday.
I have a class paid for in Holyoke Saturday
and a tour (3:45PM) that was paid for Sunday. 
The rest of the time I will be helping my friend with his problem
of fenestration with the city.
Next weekend I would like to see a housing lawyer and get at least much
of what I have to store (not being used) boxed up. 
I might have to leave here by the 1st of Nov. as there is
no longer any agreement for me to stay nights here.
The sad part about all of this is that I do not think the
property management company knows what they are doing.
I hold a certificate from many years ago in property management from
a workshop given at HAP and maybe I want to take that again.
By the way, HAP did NOT call or leave a message Tuesday, so maybe
I'll try to contact a friend down there about this situation next week also.
14 October: 2015
At 10AM I am at the Neighborhood ... Clinic for an eye exam,
did not get the glasses last year, got sick.
Did work on boxing stuff up and getting heavy duty bags to
cover other items that need to go to storage.
A friend has had a citation from the city about the invasive species
that have overgrown his yard, in one summer.
He has cut them down three times, but now they are going to inspect
and are giving him only 5 more days to get it cleared off in.
Second class of the 10 week Citizen's Police Academy was tonight
up on Carew Street, and it was GREAT.
People might still be able join the classes, contact
Kathy Brown at the police Department for more information.
It is a good thing and the Police Commissioner wants this series
to be a "good product" and "the read deal" so it brutally truthful.
13 October: 2015
This is the 2nd Tuesday of the Month.
Awaited a call from HAP about a bunch of things
including the home buyers workshop all morning, no call.
So I produced a page to suggest what might be done
if the start date on this property is delayed to Nov. 1 or Dec. 1
1PM a medical appointment, 3:30PM be at  police station
for a re-dedication of the newly landscaped officer memorial & gardens,
6PM The Maple, High, 6Corners Neighborhood Council meets. 
I hope to be living in that neighborhood soon so I am attending.
BUT since I do not live there yet I can help by tallying their votes for officers.
The Valley Interface Macintosh Users Group will not be meeting tonight. 
Will set another night. 
Very little interest right no in face to face meetings it seems. 
Would like help in revitalizing this group.
Should be at a very important church meeting so I tried to get there
after the Neighborhood Council meeting, but was to late.
12 October: 2015
This was Columbus Day, I did not find out if there is a Parade,
so I spent  most of the morning and afternoon deleting spam emails for a client,
and did not get to box up anything. 
Thought I might work on a plywood top to set up drafting table of sorts
on a rolling table I have and put it by the hall window.
Then take the architectural plans and transfer stuff to a quarter inch grid
to help in visually placing things in the house.
Making the assumption I would be designated as the developer
and I need to work on things in November.
Hence heat is a need and only one section can be done for roofing
and maybe some chimney work and small foundation work.
Looked like it would be another "working holiday" and I was certainly glad
I am not married as my wife  would most certainly not like this schedule.
So I went to savers for their Savers Club 50% off Monday Clothing sale.
Got 10 pairs of socks and a cap to go under the bicycle helmet as
I assume I am now working at the house in the cold.
Also got curtains for church and a warm orange shirt,
extra large to wear over my outer things when riding back at dusk.
11 October: 2015
Sunday and the beginning of the middle week of the month.
Please continue to pray and to contact Charlie with anyone
you would think would be good for S.C.A.R.F.
We had hoped to have our first meeting at the park at Central/Florence/Pine
this month, but that now might be next month.
10 October: 2015
Expect to attend the 2nd Saturday walking tour when Susan Heller,
city planner, leads a tour of nearby Edwards Street.
Then I plan to box up all I can so I might have most of my "extra" stuff
out of my apartment and into storage by next Saturday.
Only need the essentials for living here while would have been building.  
Original plan was to do this.  Will follow the plan as best as I can.
I was not able to have obtained more boxes from some stores,
but will work on it next week.  Want to label them so I can get what I want later.
Need to start writing this process down as part of the instructions
for those that follow after me.  Have a good idea of what I used
regularly and what I will not use for some months. 
Most of the summer clothing will get boxed us and anything I have not
touched for at least 3 months.  Books will be boxed separately,
also kitchen, and bathroom stuff that I have not used lately.
I need to show by example how you can orderly move what you don't need
(right now) to storage so people can follow that plan.
Then the stuff is in storage and they can "move in" as soon as the
Certificate of Occupancy is granted. 
I also think many tools and such, including some clothing,
can get moved over as we would be using them while
working on the building. Same goes for microwave,
dishes, cups, a small refrigerator, etc.  We want the workmen
to be able to eat at noon and one of the first things to get operational,
other than the electricity, is the water  and sewage
so we have sanitary conditions and no need for "port a poty" type things.
An important note. 
We plan, maybe over plan.  BUT when it come down to it, we must be flexible
and "live in the moment" and do "whatever needs to be done" to
take advantage of every opportunity God provides us.
Much of what I am saying about this will be starting to be put in a "book"
form after November 9th, my birthday.
I would have started earlier if the approval and designation as developer
had come sooner.  These delays are good in that I have learned much
and it will serve me well to understand when our "future home-owners"
experience something like them as I understand that can happen a lot. 
A note on behalf of our city people. Most recently an opportunity for the city,
because of 3 hurricanes, a tornado and an unusually early snowstorm
have put us in a category where we can apply for a substantial federal
funding opportunity.    And you guessed it, the people I have been
communicating with are the ones I think need to make this grant application.
This is a very important opportunity for people in this city that have
been so adversely affected by these storms.
So I just "wait a bit more" and hopefully councilman Edwards
can see what is happening.
I might, if I see or hear of nothing by the 28th,
(which will be 60 days after I submitted all the additional information the city wanted)
ask the attorney to make a gentle inquiry. 
The bid document said I was forbidden to ask anything after a certain date
as they needed to deliberate without pressures from people. 
But I am getting anxious now that it is getting colder weather.
And I have roofing and chimney and foundation work
as well as a furnace to get installed.
09 October: 2015
Second Friday of the month. Will make a report to Evan on the S.C.A.R.F.
project (if not by midnight then before Sat. at 9AM).
Am making a list of people for board of directors and
formation committee choices.  Especially some folks in the Building Trades.
Will start looking into computers and software to try and
help make plans for our people.
They will still most likely need to see an architect,
but this could help some with initial plans a city dept. would want.
I have some training in this field from my Associates & Certificate of Completions
at Springfield Technical Community College.
Evan asked if I could use the computer programs at college and I said not now,
especially if you are no longer a student. A new policy.
Had set a date for a Saturday morning but need to delay that now. 
God an opportunity to attend a class on Human Centered Design.
Paid for the class and will be in Holyoke for that class October 17th.
It messes up plans for this and two other things,
but I think this element of "Human Centered Design" is so important
and fits well with the "Not So Big House" principles.
08 October:2015
The day I had planned to get  work done and maybe ask some city people
what is happening.
But I just did not do much, so very tired sometimes all of a sudden. 
My Doctor is sending me for more tests on this.
I attended the Rental Housing Association of Greater Springfield
dinner meeting this evening and has a great speaker on
the Springfield Healthy Homes project.  It cost of $35 but
there are always good speakers at these meetings.
I put in an application to be a part of the Healthy Homes project
as that fits in with our mission objectives.
Speaking of mission objectives, need to get people together
to craft a Mission Statement soon.
All the elements of a "Business Plan" and such
need to be crafted in the next two months, I think.
A man came by and gave me $100 in cash to send to a Syrian relief fund
to help Christians displaced by the Muslim insurgents in that area.
The man is a friend that has very little income and this is the second time
he has scraped together money to do this to help people.
This is the sort of kindness I hope to have in this project. 
I will put the money in the bank at some point very soon when I get
more information from him. I will and then try and get it sent to the group
electronically by Sunday or next month.  It is a group in the US the money
goes to helping Christians who have survived this ordeal to move
to other countries and start over again.
07 October:2015
9:30AM was at 257 Central and saw folks in bright green shirts,
some of the crew to be  planting trees in the Maple, High, Six Corners area.
Noontime, came and we ate and then continued the last planting,
so I was not able to attend the STCC for Campus Civitan Club first meeting
which was probably a good thing.  Raven Core was sworn in as the new
President since I was not in college this semester, it is her day.
I will offer to help and not try to have attention drawn towards me
since I could not get things settled so I could attend classes.
4PM Amory Quadrangle Civic Association board of directors met
at Kimball Towers and talked of issues in the area.
It is Amity Lodge meeting night and I was not there as I opted
to attend the 10 week Citizens Police Academy
which means the Lodge will have some one that has been through
this program by Christmas.
06 October: 2015
We had a meeting scheduled for 32 Byers Street, Inc. Board of Directors
to talk of issues and set some policies.
And it did attempt to descend into a name calling event. 
Michaelann Bewsee tried so well to keep it a "civil" event.
I knew others wanted to do a good thing, so I stayed to see if I could help at all. 
Did make a motion that was adopted that makes some progress.
This much I have learned about the "Not So Big Life" book
by Sarah Susanka is that all of the posturing people do is worthless.
In this project and helping others I just can not waste time with
whom is hurt by whom.  We need to treat this like a broken window.
Don't worry about assigning blame for the window being broken;
just get about the process of repairing it.  These are people, treat them kindly.
Yesterday the Lawyer for this project asked if the city had rejected my bid. 
I had to say I did not think so but it has been silence.
The next day I spoke with Councilman Melvin Edwards is at the tree planting
in the morning. He asked if I had heard anything, & I said no.
We met at the park at Central and Pine Streets,
seen from the front door of 257 Central.  As of today I was looking forward to this.
I know we need to help our people when we have folks
we are helping that go through times like this.
Having no news just makes it harder to have  hope
when the weather gets colder and harder to work on a property.
Tonight I was at the Tuesday Asceticism series
at St. Stephen Orthodox Church (6PM).
As an added bonus I spoke with Evan Goodchild,
my contact person with R.L.C., about this project.
We went up to 60 Byers Street and I spoke to him of that house and
how I want to have our people also obtain and rehab properties they can have
as rental units and how I felt people that had been "renters" would be good landlords.
05 October: 2015
Feel so cold. Started about 2AM today.  So very, very cold.  I feel like it is 42 degrees F.
Went outside for a fire alarm in the building, temperature seemed no different.
Friend wanted to take me to another movie, a funny one.
I begged off and lay most of the time or at the computer.
Had to beg off of the meeting with Habitat for Humanity when
they gave keys to a house to a new owner.
I want so much to do this with S.C.A.R.F.
but I was to sick to bicycle there and then to lodge.
Taken to the Springfield Lodge meeting and back,
only 2.5 hours, but I am still cold and tired.
Much pettiness going on in the building
about a meeting ownership is to have tomorrow.
04 October: 2015
Sunday Stefi overslept so I bicycled to Church and then home with some food.
Spent the rest of the day resting, do not feel like doing much at all.
03 October: 2015
Still not feeling well but got to Mass Mutual in Enfield, CT
and Stefi Crivelli picked me up there so we could go to the funeral
for the father of our organist, Randy, in Suffield, CT. 
She then brought me back to Springfield.
I rested the rest of the day, feel so worn out, not able to do much of anything.
02 October: 2015
Did not feel well today.  Tried to rest and at the computer some.
Rested and went with a Friend to St. John's Lutheran Church
for a nice German Food Dinner.
It was a good time, we missed some buses, but I got back so very tire.
01 October: 2015
Nothing happened as planned. Got to the Big-E, helped a bit,
then looked at storrowtown and talked with the National Park Service.
I tend to think the windows for 257 Central should be two over two
for that small a house. More research needed
Ride home went to Doctors and was kept there after a procedure.
Missed Buses back. Missed Beat Team meeting,
Missed Historical Commission meeting.  Bleeding inside. 
Put rent check in box. going to bed. Not well at all.


30 September: 2015
Planned to pack more today to bring much to storage.  Also research the garages that were at 257 Central at one time.
See about the cost for two garages, maybe one with a second story area, so this can be built first and items stored there.
It seems like such needs to happen, as it might be cheaper than renting "pods" as I am so very concerned that the start date
might get to "happen" at a time when it might be almost impossible to do work on the foundation or outside or roof.
But I was so tired and got so many calls all I did was record the books I had bought the night before.
Also look for legal precedents for asking for a hiatus in the work for at least 3 months during the coldest months of the year.
If we can not get the foundation and roof and windows and siding work done, we can't put a furnace in and work in winter.
Goal is to have much of regularly unused items in apartment OUT and in storage by end of second week in October.
All but essentials for living and heavy items like book cases and bureaus out by the third week of October. 
All but a suitcase of stuff out by end of October so I can "move" if need be by sometime in November.
Want most everything in storage so if a Certificate of Occupancy can be granted, I can move in immediately,
even if it is only a suitcase of things from the current location.  Do not want to be paying for rent and construction at once if possible.
Becoming Truly Human, 6:30PM Training about leading this dynamic adventure in sharing our faith. I will try and be there by 6PM.
29 September: 2015
Nothing I planned seened to have gotten done today, or at least not accomplishing the goals I had set.
Also more work on 32 Byers Street childish problems and personalities, wanted to meet with Earl
and speak of some things needed to be able to call a meeting in early October of some folks so we can
establish this core group to define scope and such and the entity of "scarf" is created by December or first week in January.
I also need to give some things to the Recovery Learning Community for safe keeping until people in the Tenants Union
at the current building has people willing to responsibly manage the funds entrusted to their care. 
Need to reduce unproductive stress.
I just can not be dealing with Tenants Union issues at the same time I am focusing on this house and S.C.A.R.F. creation issue.
But I missed him and the "tiredness" has come upon me so suddenly all I could do was get to the apt and lay on the floor and sleep.
Looked for more items for the house at "Savers", found about 20 home repair and improvement books that lay flat, even bout duplicates.
Also got a book case or boxed CD/DVD music or video sets and CD holder, have to be active with something. 
Bob Maurice was kind enough to take me up there so I did not need to bring them back on the bus.
 So frustrated, I think I have provided all that was asked for and yet no word form the city about being
designated as developer or approval to purchase and rehab this property.
Might this week go to building department and ask some one what w can do if the approval is granted later in the year.
But I suspect the best thing is to contact an independent Housing Inspector to ask advice from.
Would at least like to get permission and access to staple heavy plastic on the inside of the house to keep water and stuff out of
the upstairs windows that are open with no glazing right now.  Maybe even a tarp over the open chimney hole in roof.
It does not matter if I eventually do not get the house, I do not want it further destroyed this winter by rain and ice and snow.
No meeting at St. Stephen on Christian Asceticism tonight due to training with Bishop John tomorrow.
Trying to fill my life with lots of activities so I don't focus on the fact no word has come from the city as yet.
28 September: 2015
What a day.  Up to make some notes and email to a board president about issues for a board meeting I can not be at.
Be at doctor's appointment I have been waiting for months for, to see ask reasons I have not been able to stay well the past 3 years,
and she asked me to go and get medications and a flue shot right away as they did not have them yet. I did it at Wallgreens
then to another medical appointment and finally to an appreciation dinner for efforts in the crime watch type programs.
Thanks to Carol Costa who introduced me to a city employee that works at Tapley Street where the Planning Dept. is and
said I had made the only bid at 257 Central St. and I was able to say I heard nothing yet 30 days after I had all documents asked for turned in.
After I got back I saw I had additonal prescriptions to get and did so, bought ice cream for myself and 3 others and took trash out.
Finally went to bed and during night got up and read the books about old homes trying to figure out the original windows for this house.
27 September: 2015
Went to Church, spent afternoon with Church Choir Director/Cantor and family.
Read more about the "Not So Big Life" in the "Not So Big House" series at the Park near 257 Central St.
and watched Lunar Eclipse after instructional talks at Springfield's Seymour Planetarium.
26 September: 2015
Diary of Perpetua (St. Stephen Church 400 Wilbraham Road) 2PM and 7PM
This was FANTASTIC and everyone should come and see this play somewhere this season.
I spent some time thinking about how we could do this rehab
if the "go ahead" is delayed until November.
25 September: 2015
Attended the Continum of Care meeting for Hampden County and then went to BayState to see about my records
They will get the fax number and fax some over to my Doctor whom I am to see Monday at 11:15
Went to Savers and on the way bought a book at a tag sale about Self Health Care by Dr. Koop.
Bought at Savers the desk I saw Tuesday. Paid 14 or so dollars more.  Keep getting the message
from the movie "War Room" and want to take this roll top desk and make it my prayer "closet" .
I also bought "dolly" or "hand truck" for moving heavy things at 257 Central St.
Made a list of all the rooms in this apartment building and prayed for their occupants,
then read Proverbs 25 and will go to bed listening to Vespers from the Diocesan Convention in July.
24 September: 2015
A friend wanted to take me to a movie, so we went to see "War Room" at the cinimas in West Springfield.
I was so tired all of a sudden after we got out of the movie, glad I see my doctor Monday.
Thursday Weekly Bible Study Starts Today, 62 Glynn Farm Rd, East Longmeadow, MA, but I had forgotten where
so I went to hear Christopher Cignolie, Springfield Director of Public Works, speak to the
Armory Quadrangle Civic Association tonight, change from normal 3rd Thursday meeting date.
23 September: 2015
22 September: 2015
Training at Western New England University and then box up more stuff to go to storage.
Tonight, class at St. Stephen on monastic life. 
21 September: 2015
Back from Retreat and have a sinking feeling all of this is going "down hill".
Had an eviction notice for "non-payment of rent" and I am told by the Property Manager the rent was
increased but I have not a written notice of this yet, even though I have asked for it.  They say I owe $215
but they have not cashed by check for $270 I put in the rent box Sept. 2.  I want to get out and be in my own home.
So regardless of how things turn out I am packing up stuff to go somewhere.
10AM I am to be at the allergist office for more allergy testing.  Asked new Campus Civitan President
about when the first meeting at STCC would be held.
Got to help someone clean up for an inspection and let them borrow my shower curtain rod for a closet door.
Then went to Lodge via bicycle, then back and redesigned this web-space some more. 
Made possible plans for rehab if start date is Nov. 01were made,
delaying some roof items on main building until spring.

18-20 September: 2015
Wrote a lot of stuff and made logs for working at the site and sleeping elsewhere.
Look at the Concepts section of this website and comments on the facebook page for more information.
Have established an Hourly Log for work I do at the site and have me there at night as security,
I would travel elsewhere to sleep in the daytime.  Also planning an outdoor meeting in October.
All of this is on the Concepts page, so check that also and tell me if you know of someone for our first board of directors.
Leave at about 10AM for the Men's Retreat, Camp Methodios, in Contoocook, New Hampshire.
Next posting here is somewhere around Monday, the 21st.

17 September : 2015
Western Mass. Regional Network to End Homelessness, Leadership Council Meeting
One Fenn Street, Berkshire Housing Authority, Pittsfield, MA 10AM to Noon
Board Meeting at FoH at 5PM, then could not find the AQCA meeting.
Could not get into City Hall to attend the Historical Commission meeting.
Will leave for New Hampshire Men's Retreat with a ride early in the morning on Friday.
16 September: 2015
Comments, long ones, put on the Concepts page here, foundational matters.
Residential Rental Landlord/Tenant class at 122 Industry Ave, Springfield, MA at 11AM
Amity Lodge at 7PM
15 September: 2015
Hotel Northampton, 7:30AM, (Bob will brought  me up, It is October 15, not in September)
Back in Springfield, try to rest some more, then 3-4 hours boxing up belongings for storage
Also a quick assesment of what to do and what to omit from the project at this time
(if an October 1 start date is when the approval comes).
See Tara at "disabilities" at STCC for advice & counsel at 2PM
Back to apartment to pack things.  And work on revised schedule.
Comments on board needs for group place on our facebook page.
Spiritual Formation and the Ascetic Tradition, 6:30PM at St. Stephen Church
14 September: 2015
Dr. McGovern, Allergies at 2PM.
Cancel some medications and have retest for allergies next week.
Parish Council met Lutheran Pastor at 6:30PM, after Vespers at 5:30PM, the elevation of the Cross.
Agawam Encampment I could not get to but did bicycle to Springfield Lodge [I.O.O.F.] by 7:45PM
13 September
St. Stephen, no meeting after all, then all to
Glendi at St. George Greek Orthodox Church
12 September: 2015
Did not get to 2nd Sat. Walking tour, spent time on Church issues.
Randy's performance at Little Red Riding Hood's Basket at 1PM, Southwick
Glendi at St. George Greek Orthodox Church, cultural Center
Got star for house at Christmass.
11 September: 2015
32 Byers Street, Inc. Financial meeting, 9AM at 54 Sumner Ave (Attorney Cohen)
Then some troubles at the apt. building and do laundry so I can have clean clothing
to help bus tables at Glendi at St. George Greek Orthodox Church which starts at 5PM.
Signed up for Residential Rental Landlord/Tenant class next Wed at 221 Industry Ave. with RAPV.
3PM, nothing yet, will go visit someone in Mercy Hospital, surgery today, to see if he is awake on way to Glendi
Before I could leave he had the surgery and was back within 4 hours.
10 September: 2015
Morning Spent on Clutterers Annonymous East Website stuff, then to Registry of Deeds.
Then the Rental Housing Association meeting, 754 Montgomery St., Chicopee (AmVets) at 6PM
Will go to Probate Court for Hampden County Monday to see more about the title to 257 Cental.
09 September : 2015
Went to the Registry of Deeds and dug back a bit further in the title search to about 1900.
Create a page to show of the 1910 map that is on the Springfield Historical Trust
Health Related appointment at 2PM, then at
7PM, adoration of the Eucharist at St. Stephen, and healing service of song and laying on of hands
(This will be the 2nd Wednesday of each month throughout the rest of this year)
08 September: 2015
Did dressing change at  about 3am and got up to Church for the Nativity of Mary commemoration at 9AM
Then aback to apartment and another dressing change and some email and prepare for a meeting.
Clinic for dressing change and then email all to cancel one meeting and go to another one.
Looks like 2nd Tuesday nights are no longer good for this group, try some other night or time.
Got to the Maple, High, 6 corners Neighborhood Council meeting at Mason-Wright and was asked to tally their votes.
They voted in board members and spoke of my bit at 257 Central. Councilman Edwards will check into it's status.
Went to pharmacy to get more ordered drugs and see about the dressing/bandage that did not work right,
wouldn't you know it, the thing worked just fine for the clerk that tried to peel it off the backing. 
Did more plans for possible garage at 257 Central. 
Settled in my head best to try and replicate the garage type that was there in the early 1900's.
Maybe put a trellis to overcome the harsh look if it is just cinder-block type of construction.
Old friend  called at 3AM and talked for about 3 hours, so tired, but it was good to have the call.

04 - 08 September:2015
Might spend the morning checking into the location of another bicycle shop about repairing the bicycle.
Clinic Dr. thinks I should buy a new bicycle, I think just needs to be "geared" right, not for racing.
Go up, maybe by a friend, maybe by Bus, to Berkshires to Camp and visit and go to Family Reunion.
Probably not by bicycle now. Accident the other day due to the way the last peopled "fixed" the bicycle gearing.
Went to the clinic, soaking the toe twice a day and dressings, stuff "ripped off" and now needs to grow skin.
So most of the plans are "up in the air" again.  And the clinic wants to see me right after I would get back Tuesday.
Still hope to take pictures of windows and such to see if they can be used here,  and read "No So Big Life"  book in quiet.
Last Chance to be on Families' Homestead grounds before it gets really cold.
Was there Saturday night and it was very cold, below 50, maybe even below 40 degrees.
Sunday night was much warmer, maybe in upper 40's.
If nothing is heard from the city by 10AM or so on the 4th I will assume the response to all filings
will come the next week when I return and see the clinic and others.
Spent morning of the 4th getting a new email that would work with facebook
to establish a facebook acount for SCARF stuff.
Called and got a ride back to Springfield with our Choir Director that was looking for something in Pittsfield.
Got back, did dressings and went to bed, soaked foot and body, really nice to have a bath.

03 September: 2015
Got to 8:30AM clinic "focus care" to see about toe (that took about 2 hours as they soaked it),
then went to the 10:30AM event at FoH (755 Worthington St.), Individual Service Committee meeting,
this is a part of the Western Mass. Regional Network to End Homelessness (got there at 11:15AM).
Meet with RLC about grant and plans, procedures, for expense submissions and work plans/reports.
Met briefly at Armory Commons Park, will speak again next week. Will put in a notice in their newsletter.
Am seeking people to coalesce around this vsion and form the nucleus to get a board of directors, etc.
and file the appropriate papers so something like S.C.A.R.F. actually exists and is ready to help others.
Go to get more stuff from the drug store, plans may be changing for this weekend.
6PM is the community Policing team meeting at Mason-Wright Community Room on Walnut St.
As soon as that is over, (7PM) went to Historical Commission meeting at City Hall (3rd Floor),
to see and later ask some questions and got some hopeful preservation advice.
Then back to soak foot and put on dressing and try to sleep.
Will evaluate things  and get ready to leave for Family Reunion over Labor Day.
Might only get up there that day, bummer. Want to spend at least one night in a tent there.
It is my "summer camping spot" and the past few years everything else has demanded my time.
02 September: 2015
Toe still hurts, bandaged up much last night.
Clinic can not see me until the third, 8:50AM, be there by 8:30AM
Trying to stay off the foot much of the day. 
Did possible things by week through to next September,
assuming I get the nod to develop 257 Central.
Have a board meeting at 3, then back in time to go to lodge.
01 September: 2015
Did many plans and updated What to Do Next if approved and if rejected by city.
Views to continuing work on entity to manage what I now call S.C.A.R.F. and help others.
Start to update this web page.  Make new revised estimates through week 10 what to do on house.
Continue to think as if city grants my bid to be designated as developer of 257 Central.
Maybe go to Savers today.  A break from things.  Move stuff at storage area.  Continue planning.
The future, I must believe, is built on the foundation we lay today by our actions, or inaction.
Faith needs to be expressed to grow.  It is the exercising of this faith that builds a future, dependent on God.
Drove up by bicycle and ate "supper" at park over looking 257 Central.
Went to go get medications at night and bicycle shifting stuck, been that way since it came back from "Dicks".
I had no power and had to put my foot down to avoid a fall, ripped top off my right big toe and scrapped others.


31 August 2015:
Meeting with RLC people could not happen and is delayed until Thursday. Some planning done.
Over to move things around in storage area so workmen can do things there.
Saw needs to revise this web-page so it can print well.  Read more on "Not So Big Life" book
started workbook and re-evaluation of life.  Only come back to apartment to sleep now once left for day.
Read more and eat some at park on central street in front of house, revised What to do Next if approved and not.
30 August 2015:
Before Church crafted a document showing how the original 'ell' was on the building, how the permit history says it was
demolished and a new "bedroom with kitchenette" added in 1923. At that time this went over the borders so property lines
had to be "gerrymandered" to accommodate this.  Now I am certain the original building was built here in 1860 and the differences
in the old maps make sense.  Glad I went down and took those photos of the 1920 map at the history museum and spent so much
time at the Registry of Deeds and the building Department looking up Permits, etc.  The WPA photos from 249 through 269 and
maybe later are missing.  So, if named as developer, I will need to publicly ask for any and all photographs to see
what the building looked like years ago.  Got to church, had to bicycle there as the person that often gives me a ride
thought I was doing so, so I did.  Then got back to the Apartment around 1PM and so tired could not move.
Ate and took meds and tried to sleep, not go.  Contacted Mobil Mini and they called back about a mobile storage facility
to keep workers tools from "going away" at the job site.  Still don't know if the city will accept the bid, but did some "work" on it.
Going to water some plants for a fellow, see if there is something else to do, and then read more of the "Not So Big Life".
29 August 2015:
Spend much of the night looking at and saving with a date on them the documents created in the past 55 days or so.
Just to record what was produced when. There are over 50 documents and that does not count the renditions, and the drafting.
These are only the computer generated documents I shared with folks. There have been about 30 emails also giving my ideas.
So, almost every day, even when away from Springfield, I have done some work on this.  And there there are about 30 pages
that are in the notebook for what I bought or ideas I had about a section of this project.  All has to be documented.
Anyone who follows in my footsteps needs to know the work involved and that it is definitely "sweat equity".
To day I am to help in rearranging some stuff and prepare for more work at my lodge.  For the next few days
we just sit and wait and see if what is proposed will satisfy the city.  Time to plan to help others during this time.
But now I am so tired I need to try and get some sleep before I need to be up and helping at 8AM.
28 August 2015:
Did work on things this morning, got call from Architect, he things a "book" should be made with what we need to submit.
So I bought one and sleeve protectors at FedEx Office, near city hall.  Also paid for about 40 dollars worth of copying.
Revised items I through IV that had all sorts of names & a budget & the estimate from Uptown Construction Collaborative.
I had already sent in pdfs of the uptown licenses and such.  So at 2:22PM the Architect and I having made a loose leaf binder
with the additional information asked for, the estimate from uptown, & the Architects plans and elevations drawn to as scale to fit
paper 11x17 inches punched holes in them and put one set in the binder and 5 sets in front and back pockets. 
I had the city person sign that they received them at that time 2:22PM on Friday the 28th of August as all work was to be in by that date or
the bid would be rejected.  Then my cell phone would not work when I was trying to move some things around for someone and I
 spent and hour on that.  Will be working helping a friend at my storage place Saturday and try to read some of
"a Not So Big Life" by Sarah Susanka.  The deadline is past now.  It is after 7PM on Friday the 28th of August. 
There is nothing more I can do.  We just wait now to see what the city says.
We have yet to actually meet with the person we are dealing with.  We have met with another person,
but he was not forthcoming with anything. 
I ask you all to PRAY that God's will be done in this situation.  Not what I want, what God wants. 
If this goes through, I will need to raise over $50,000 to pay back loans and such for the interior work. 
We might have to take off the 100 year old clapboards to insulate, hope not.
But I do want to pay back every dime I borrow, through grants or somehow. 
I am an old man and do not want to die in subsidized housing.
I might bicycle by the place early tomorrow morning, just to be near it.  I enjoy the way the breeze comes up over the hill.
Thanks for praying for me and about this project.  Pray that God's will be done and that we can help others also soon.
27 August 2015:
Have all paperwork assembled and checked over, ready to submit, hopefully today. All due by tomorrow.
That did not happen, but some things were sent electronically.  I will meet with Architect tomorrow. I asked him tonight
to make smaller drawings (like 8.5 x 11) to be able to give them to the city so it will fit well in their files.
Got an agreement to have Stanley Komack's office to look over things before I sign them.  This is just a start.
He might suggest someone else if he thinks I need more help than his office can offer to me at the moment.
I know Stanley from the Rental Housing Association of Greater Springfield meetings I have been attending
the past few years.  This is either done and approved tomorrow or bid will be rejected. 
Time to fish!  Cutting bait time is over with.
Uptown Construction Collaborative, LLC, gave an estimate and that was sent in as a PDF with hard copy in tomorrow.
City official is now also asking for copies of various licenses and such.  It has been a 90 day ride so far, and I am learning
so that we can help others to know what they need to do in order to seek to obtain a city owned abandoned or neglected
building to rehab and fix up so the can live in their own home.  The cost in money and time is multiplying exponentially.
Tomorrow, early I must go somewhere and scan in my original bid so that can be sent as a pdf. 
No longer have scanning abilities as the computer systems will not recognize the older scanners. 
Now it is newer computers needed.  Always it seems more needed.
Rested at least 3 times today, this can get to be so exhausting.  Remember the "good old days"
when it was only 8 hours a day at a job.
It is 7:43PM DST and I feel like it was 11:59 Eastern Standard Time.  I am so very tired. 
Must try and release it all to God and rest in Him.
26 August 2015:
Did not get to check with people what I have written. Delayed on Lawyer.
Got helmet from court house / registry of deeds, bicycled to 3300 Main St.
Bought book from a vendor on New England flowers, shrubs, trees & vines to use in landscaping 257 Central.
Went to a health appointment and then to planning and building departments.
Talked with funding source point person.  Wants assurances I do not think I can get.
Read some more and finished "Outside the Not So Big House".  Fears this will implode.
For the past 21 years I have made plans for owning and rehabbing at least 15 properties, and maybe 19.
I am so fearful this will be like all the rest of them, great efforts and nothing happen OR
it actually happens but I will have no way to pay off the loans in my lifetime.
Checked with Building Department and recorded permits issued for 251 through 259 Central Street.
Will contact architect about submitting plans tomorrow. So tired and weak. Will eat and sleep.
25 August 2015:
Recover from procedure and make plans for review of proposal with contractors estimates etc.
Name members of "team", fill out other things.  Check with everyone as to what we need. Check about Lawyer.
Did not get to checking about Lawyer, funding sources might not be as "on-board" as before.
Made construction parking plans for city as to how I would handle traffic on the property during renovation.
Spoke with someone who asked "Do you believe?" and I said yes.  Then followed a conversation,
like when I was Pastor of a small rural church.  I miss that life, constantly talking with God.
Knowing deep inside I was doing what I should be doing, listening to God and saying what I am said to say.
Please Pray folks, I need to know what God's will is in all of this.
I left without getting my helmet, it is an illegal item, could not bring it into the courthouse / Registry of Deeds.
24 August 2015:
Was to meet with RLC Grant liaison at 11AM about grant, domain names, and September plans.
Person could not get here. I sent letter via email telling of what I would do in September on that project.
Board meeting 12 noon to 1PM.  Leave for Hospital to get there by 1:45PM, got there by 1:30PM
Prepped for procedure 2-3PM.  Procedure at Hospital, Baystate, starts at 3PM.
Got out of Hospital early Bob took me back, probably so tired, ate a lot at Bob's house.
23 August 2015:
Church in Morning, then light lunch and Parish Council meeting.  No more food.
Plans and elevations to be done by Architect; print guesstimates to have something ready to talk with to folks.
Had Choir Director at Church come to 257 Central and Pray.  She and her children came at the fence and prayed.
We prayed that if it is God's will I get this property to rehab that the doors be opened so no person can shut them and
if it is NOT God's will, shut the doors so the richest person in the world could not pay to have them opened.
In late afternoon start drinking about a gallon of prep fluid for test Monday. Bring with me to hospital?
Work on draft Lease Agreement to submit to 32 Byers Street, Inc. board of directors at meeting tomorrow.
22 August 2015:
Maybe spend most of this morning turning measurements into scale drawings for myself.
Architect is doing professional drawings for the city.  I need to be able to present similar things to "backers".
Monday I have a board meeting then go to Hospital for Procedure.  Rectal bleeding again yesterday.
When the bleeding happens I get all tired and sometimes do not know about it.
No Vespers today, might go to another church's movie, or just rest. Looking forward to Church.
21 August 2015:
Finished recording my rough measurements to get a "feel" for the house size.
Sent the same to another contractor for a bid, will come in about at $51,000. All this is getting very expensive.
Helped someone get some plates and stuff for their granddaughter going off to college.
Tried to get a key made and bought tools for bicycle and emergency light for use at job site on house.
Went on bicycle to visit friend going to Alabama for an event and went up to bus stop by house to read.
I do that often.  To be near the house and "feel" the neighborhood.  Came back a really nice sunset, then darkness fell.
20 August 2015:
Got up early and bicycled towards Rocky's Hardware Store at Island Pond Road. But left map at apt.
Went near Kakley hardware and building supply store. Had traded with them when Keven Noonan was Ex. Dir. at Open Pantry.
The website was wrong, or how I remembered it and they do not open at 9AM, they open at 7AM.
Got gloves to pick up trash and very expensive wooded folding ruler to make measurements with.
Got to site and Mike Cass of the city opened up for us and he left but I did not have his phone number.
Someone had locked the door from the inside.  Had to break the jam to get in. Will repair later. Measured for about 4-5 hours.
Spoke with grant interface person and will meet with them 11AM Monday before 32 Byers St. Board meeting.
We will look at getting a more appropriate domain name for scarf website. And review plans for September re S.C.A.R.F.
Helped a friend moves some books and spoke of how tired I get sometimes and the upcoming hospital procedure.
That night went to Candidates Night at Armory Quadrangle Civic Association and then Historic Commission.
Talked afterwards and at "speak out" about not wanting to destroy lathe and plaster to "insulate".
Want to insulate and live in winter in the gypsum board section.  Plans may come from a few sources.
Need to have everyting into the city before Friday the 28th or bid will be rejected.
19 August 2015:
Missed bus for meeting and redeemed the time by calling Mike Cass of the city to open up for us.
Mike will meet me and the architect and whomever at the site at 9AM tomorrow.
I then went and tried to search the Registry of Deeds database and finally went down there.
Need to go again to get further into the basement archives, came to a dead end around 1947.
Went to Library and sought some research and obtained article on vernacular architecture for central MA.
Prepared things for tomorrows measuring.  Will try to get to Rocky's first for a folding ruler, they open at 8am.
18 August 2015:
Hope to get access to building to do rest of measurements.  This may be only to record what could have been.
Looks very much not like the requested items will not be provided and this that looked so close
will be lost and the effort of the last few months brought to naught.  So sad.
The bad might not happen, but it looks like it might right now.
It looks like I might be at a point almost like it was before I made the bid.
Revised estimates needed.  Funders might back out.  Sad.
17 August 2015:
Got not so nice email from city.  Apparently promises were made on my behalf
and the city says those promises were not fulfilled.
Do nothing all day, looks like this might go down in flames. Did not go near house.
Did not work on project.  Trying to mentally prepare for lose of it all.

13 - 16 August 2015:
Away at N.O.F.A. conference, try to also line up help there at UMass, Amherst.
Did some design work while at NOFA and consulted with someone who has renovated houses.
Went to near 257 Central to read and be near house Sunday after got back from conference.

12 August 2015:
Will attend Healing Service at St. Steven Orthodox Church tonight and do other stuff in AM
Pack things tonight and tomorrow to be away from Thursday through the weekend.
11 August 2015:
Spoke with funding people and contract people about the necessary paperwork to be filed with the city.
New date is Friday at noon or Monday at noon once I return from working at N.O.F.A. summer conference at UMass, Amherst.
10 August 201 5:
Will help someone by bringing papers in for him as he pays many bills, etc.
Papers to be signed by 1PM or so and brought into the city from the funding source for the interior work.
Get access for final measurements inside to make drawings for Planning Department.
09 August 2015:
A day of rest. Went to Church. Need to spend time with God.
Please continue to pray for God's direction in all of this, and if He leads you, please contribute to this venture.
The organization to help others get into a home of their own I hope to start with the Church year in September.
Helped someone by being an adult "on shore" while her child was out in a boat and she got another child from visiting a friend.
Flagstone path from driveway (251 Central) & other front landscaping planned out and revised estimates of what to do next.
08 August 2015:
So much happening and yet much wheel spinning.  The letter of Commitment is revised 7-9 times.
I think it might be ready for signatures Monday. City Council people have said to move this along and I agree. 
Went to Home Depot and bought 4 lights that screw into existing porcelain outlet box mount fixtures for a nice led light change.
Bought some food and things to use while at work at the house assuming paperwork is approved and named developer.
Made some plans for new lights form Home Depot to be the ceiling fixtures in 4 of the rooms after remodeling.
07 August 2015:
Got report back on old part of house, no room for insulation. Suggesting other methods.
Maybe nailbase will work, but I would want it on plywood as I am allergic to the chemicals in OSB.
Wonder if something similar can be used on the walls.  Each day seems a new "surprise" with this project.
We plan on heating primarily areas labeled in the floor plan above, "den or guest room", "bathroom", and "kitchen"
with a secondary zone for the labeled "Dining Room" and only remotely heating the "Living Room" is a guest was there overnight
during "heating season" from September 15 to June 15.  Most probably electric baseboard heat on 2nd floor almost never turned on.
06 August 2015:
Talked with Bob and others and Architect made accurate external measurements.
Ready to sign documents when others are.  City seems to say they are frustrated and why am I "dragging my feet".
But I am not.  Went to hear about trainings needed by non-profits in hopes we can use them for SCARF.
05 August 2015:
Must get my bicycle, stored it yesterday at a home when I just "fell apart" and got so tired, medications(?)
Tomorrow I am meetings and doctors all day, so if I can get some measurements today, great.
Yesterday went to the historical museum and found out the footprint for this home might not
be on the maps, as it was a common persons home, like a farm worker or hired hand, a nobody.
This whole project is about "nobody's" and now more than ever I want to save this piece of history,
with as much as I can of it back the way it was when the oldest parts were built.
The common  fellow home, a central chimney, two rooms downstairs, a kitchen/dining area and a "living" area
and then two spaces for sleeping in the loft above.  These "nobody" homes are the living quarters
of the people that made the good things about Springfield that we have today.  It was the common worker
the farm hand, the made, the cleaner, etc.  The footprint on the maps looks different, and often not there,
but then the "nobodys" were not counted there were invisible.  Do your work, don't be seen.
BUT without these people the city of Springfield would not exist today.  In so many of the census and town
listings someone is listed as bdr (boarder) or hkpr (housekeeper) and these folks worked for others.
This is the "blue collar" part of Springfield's history I want to save .  I am told there are only 6 (six)
of these homes left in the Springfield / Chicopee area.   Count them, only 6, the mansions
of the well to do and "impportant" people, and the pictures of ones that were let go and demolished
(we like to demolish things in this city) are a dime a dozen.  The homes of the rich and powerful we area
awash with. BUT the homes of the backbone of the city, the folks that built its schools, and churches and the
mercantile hub of the city by their sweat and labor, these homes we only have a few of them left.  And some
have been so "remodeled" you would not see them as a central chimney home.  The main chimney is gone in this one.
BUT with donations we can bring it back.  I don't want gypsom board on that oldest section. I want to eventually
bring it back to how it most probably was about 1933-1937.  Maybe just before the crash or this date.
That would bring the building back (at least on the ground floor) to how it was then.  It was built 155 years ago
when Abraham Lincoln was elected President and the South left the Union and the Civil War began.
Have the way from then until today would be 1937.5 (let's say July of 1937).
These are only some of this history making events of July, 1937.
July 2 of 1937 is when Amelia Earhart and navigator Fred Noonan disappear
after taking off from New Guinea during Earhart's attempt to become the first woman to fly around the world.
That same day a guard takes his place at the Tomb of the Unknowns in Washington, D.C.;
continuous guard has been maintained there ever since.
Three days later the canned precooked meat product Spam is introduced by the Hormel company in the U.S..
Only July 7 or 1937 the silent film archives of Fox Film Corporation are destroyed by the 1937 Fox vault fire.
With only a little imagination one can see how the date could be changed each year
if the house was restored on the ground floor two rooms of the main house (over years of course)
to that era of the 1920s-1930s-1940s and each year a certain date or various dates in that year
would be the theme of those two rooms, and not only a functioning home today,
but by day a museum of how people lived (way back then) which we are talking about over 75 years ago. 
In car language that is an antique we are speaking of.
Just think, a home for myself in the winter and some space upstairs and possible a museum in honor of
the working people of this city who settled in this area (one of the oldest in the city) and provided the labor
at the Armory, the Water Shops, the mills and shops, and the housekeepers and such for the "important" people.
The possiblities are invigorating. And if this is true of this house, what are the stories
the other vacant and abandoned homes might tell?  They need to be homes again
sheltering individuals and families and reverberating with laughter and the joy of life in this place.
04 August 2015:
Boy did I mess up today.  The day started with, I thought, an email from Tina Marie Quagliato
at the city disaster and recovery office that I had responded to.  It looks like I might have had
a fairly vivid dream instead.  Bob and I went down to show the funding ability and she was out
and can not see us this week, but wrote again the details of the things we were trying to show her.
I could have sworn I saw and email when I said could we come down Tuesday afternoon and discuss things
and she replied yes.  Sooooooooooo  We came and she was not there.
She did email us again what she said to Bob and we will try and get the papers
to her office at city hall to see if that answers some questions she had on funding.
After that Bob went other places and I fell apart.  I wonder if it the medications I am taking for allergies.
BUT I was useless and in bed by about 6:30PM if not earlier.
03 August  2015:
Do errands this AM, go to Savers.  Get Boxes for packing TOMORROW
Try to move many things to storage this week. Talk with other professionals this week.
Try to make some sort of a document to give private funding entity so we can sign something for the city.
Finished "Home By Design" and started reading "Inside The Not So Big House" (c. 2005) by Sara Susanka.
Will seek other input, do not feel gut and rebuild is the way to go. Might be more economical, but tacky.
02 August 2015:
Went to Church, went to Savers, got Mirror and clock for 257 Central. 
Need to get in to the  building again and make rest of measurements.
I want to get in an hour before others to put junk into a pile so the rooms can be evaluated better.
01 August 2015:
Check written for rent at 32 Byers St.
Still tired.  Yesterday and today, at candy bars, seemed to make me better.
Mistakenly went to vespers, read at Adams Park and went to Pharmacy, no medications after all.


31 July 2015:
So terribly sick, so worn out.  Bob got me and we went and had a hot dog with veterans.
I returned to my apartment and slept and did computer imaging. So very exhausted. 
30July 2015:
Have medical appointment in the morning and then work on plans.
Help Bob with his internet that is malfunctioning again. To hot for the picnic for the kids, postponed.
29 July 2015:
Annual Meeting at noon, quorum not present, and then work on finances and
Help Bob prepare for tomorrow's cookout for the "kids" at "Jericho" & his internet.
29 July 2015:
Be at property at 10AM to take measurements and pictures with Architect & contractor. 
What a mess, expense estimates quandripled. Project might become untenable.
28 July 2015:
At 3:43PM we contacted people at Housing Dept. They called man, he opened for us at 4PM,
we measured and took pictures and Architect will come by at 10AM tomorrow.
28 July 2015: 
Talked with contractor and will call the person we need to see
to set up a meeting at the property, maybe Wed. AM, to measure for "as-built" plans.
28 July 2015: 
Created worksheets for finding dimensions and such for 257 Central St.
when we gain access to do "as built" plans.
27 July 2015:
At the meeting of 32 Byers Street Inc. it was announced that
Mr. Knight has received a grant for the formation of S.C.A.R.F.
27 July 2015:
8AM medical appointment. Prepare for Board meeting. Board Meeting. 
Met with Lawyer.  Set up meetings with Architect & Contractor(s).
27 July 2015: 
Got report on Contractor and City and Architects work while gone.
Will talk with a lawyer. Set up things to do by Wed. & get to city.
26 July 2015:
View some newer Bostonian remodeling solutions. Divine Liturgy
and taken home by Deacon Michael and his wife.  Update this page.
25 July 2015: 
Design work, eastern room at 257 Central, possible small windows
and a one or two person sofa to make out into a bed. Oratorical Festival
24 July 2015:
Evening, and early morning, viewed many unique Boston architecture solutions
to problems within a city, read more on the not so big house.
24 July 2015: 52
Antiochian Archdiocese Convention of North Amerca Delegate, reports, elections and a really nice compline service. 
23 July 2015:
Antiochian Convention Delegate for St. Stephen,
go with Fr. Ben to his home and see the architectural use there & 3rd floor remodeling.
22 July 2015: 
At Boston after Morning Prayer and Western Rite meeting at Antiochian Convention,
go to State House and file 32 Byers St. Inc. papers.
21 July 2015:
Tuesday turns into a hectic day Bicycle is out of commission for weeks.
Appointment at 3PM and then leave for Boston on 5:30PM train.
20 July 2015:
Sent email but got no response for a time for Uptown Construction Monday,
briefly met at City Council meeting on Willis Overland building.
19 July 2015:
Showed revised plans to Church Choir Director and she helped me revise some wording. 
Hope to see Uptown construction person Monday.
18 July 2015:
  Met with contractor Robert Maurice and discussed funding issues for 257 Central Street. 
He will approach others on this topic.
17 July 2015: 
Met with Architect Bill Devlin but could not access the property. 
Will try to meet with David Gaby and get access Monday, or?
17 July 2015:
Set up a "Fund Me" account as people had asked me to do,
link is here at gofundme.com/zkwvfk. Will update that also regularly.
16 July 2015:
Went by house befor going to Licensing Commission Hearing and Historical Commission meeting. 
Spoke with David Gaby.
16 July 2015:
Contacted Architect, to have him look at building Friday, if no access to house. 
If not look at building at least my book on the house.
15 July 2015:
Met with private people that will loan money or inside work to get Cert. of Occupancy.
Getting city wanted letters and other paperwork is next things I need to do.
14 July 2015:
Went to Maple, High, Six Corners Neighborhood council meeting,
heard from city official I need funding in writing quickly.
13 July 2015: I
need all the help and advice I can get. It's more than getting a place for me in a city,
it's about reclaiming futures for others also.
13 July 2015:
Book tabbed & to Carol Costa by 9AM to show someone about this project and future hopes. 
12 July 2015: 
Read more on Not So Big House concepts, cleaned up renderings put book together more.
11 July 2015:
Pretty much a lost day, everything seemed to go wrong. Got some rendering sheets printed. 
Must do book for presentation Sunday PM.
10 July 2015:
Dividers for presentation book for this house obtained and sketches to be redone this weekend.
10 July 2015:
If no reply from last week by 5PM, contact Springfield Housing Authority,
and others again that I sought a meeting with last week.
10 July 2015:
Meet with President of the Armory Quadrangle Civic Association
seeking advice and confirm Small Business seminar Monday .
9 July 2015: 
Consulted with some others and attended meetings and doctors.
Set up meeting to talk with A.Q.Civic Association President tomorrow..
8 July 2015: 
Meet with S.T.C.C. Architecture Dept. Chairperson at 1PM,
and the advise is to check with someone locally. So discouraging.
8 July 2015:
Tried to make a model in the morning, still needs lots of work. 
It helps to see how things really do or don't "fit together.
7 July 2015: Taking medications, much better. Rainy at times.
Helped someone, took longer than expected, back at 7 and not 2PM.
6 July 2015: 
Really sick, saws an allergist, everything on hold. Lender letter ready to send out.
Made appointment to see Architecture teacher .
5 July 2015:
Showed items to people at Church and a picnic.
Got suggestions to go to another lender. Crafted lender letter.
4 July 2015: 
Did work on searching for funding sources from HUD.
Went to see fireworks from bus-stop near house at 257 Central.
Started reading "Home By Design" by Sara Susanka about transforming your house into a home.
3 July 2015:
Discouraged.  Funding seems so difficult. 
Private sources might come to obtain house, but maybe to late.
3 July 2015:
Will do drawings for kitchen and minimalist repairs on inside to pare down costs.
2 July 2015:
Did scale drawing of floor plan on graph paper. 
Must call Berkshire Bank and others today, then contact city.
1 July 2015:
Sought prices on kitchenette components at Home Depot and Bathroom appliances.
Feelers for private funding.


30 June 2015: 
Spoke with more people about loans.  Sought information online. Started revise estimates, for contractor submissions
29 June 2015: 
Got word back from one Bank. Requires a general contractor, don't do sweat equity, want 20% down & 10% reserve.
Started reading "Not So Big Solutions" by Sara Susanka, 2002
29 June 2015:
Sent email as Bank officer's phone number given Saturday was busy.  Seeking a meeting to talk about funding options.
29 June 2015: 
Spoke with Coleen Loveless and Ethel Griffin at Revitalize CDC, they suggested I contact Springfield Housing Authority
28 June 2015:
Website established to tell of this work and to give a prompt accounting of our progress in rehabbing this house to become a home.
27 June 2015:
Bank Account established with Debit card and PayPal account set up for donations.
26 June 2015:
Code Enforcement Violations Report Obtained & Building Permit Records. Daily log binder record established.
22-25 June 2015:
Mr. Knight met with various community people seeking information and loans for this project.
19 June 2015:
City called and asked about funding and plans. Mr. Knight asked for two weeks to get it "firmed up".
15-18 June 2015:
Contractor and Architect "on board" to help with the project.
08-12 June 2015:
Conversations with various "experts" and "sweat equity" estimate done for materials only as more realistic figures.
01-05 June 2015:
View Book of Project from May 12 "Open House" established and daily log and other forms.
Bought paperback versions of "The Not So Big House" and "Creating the Not So Big House"
and the paperback versions were in someways quite different than the ds1998 book written a decade earlier.


18-27 May 2015:
Review images from "Open House" and determine this house should be saved, seek bid package, make bid.
10-15 May 2015:
Find out about house and "RFP", go to Open House at 10AM on May 12, take many pictures. Confer with friends, builders.
01-14 May 2015:
Took Book "The Not So Big House" by Sara Susanka out of the library and finished it by June.


 

email Mr. Knight

Mr. Knight is starting with a house that has been vacant and abandoned that is city owned to
purchase, rehab and get a certificate of occupancy for, and live there many years.  He hopes to create a guide to tell how he did this
and the steps for others to follow in his footsteps to obtain a property, rehab it, and legally own and live in it.
Then he hopes to found an entity to help others do the same. 
Currently we are calling this entity, yet to be formed, S.C.A.R.F.
In performing these projects we are
saving a piece of the cultural history of the community and actively reclaiming the futures
of people who have been through "tough times" (such as becoming homeless).

Green plad scarf and lgo with words "Saving Culuture, Actively Reclaiming Futures".  

For more information about the S.C.A.R.F. project, go to the "home" page, or contact Mr. Knight at the email link above.
For more information on the concepts of this project by our founder, go to the concepts page through this link.
.

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